


Warm Whispers

by Ballycastle_Bat



Series: Warm Whispers [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Ableism, Ableist Language, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Barry Allen In A Coma, Brief Iris West/Original Character, Coma!Barry, Didn't Know They Were Dating, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Mentioned child death, Mild Bodily Humour, Mutual Pining, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Other: See Story Notes, Physical Disability, Trauma, Using Humor as a Coping Mechinism, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-04-25 00:08:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 101,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14366682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ballycastle_Bat/pseuds/Ballycastle_Bat
Summary: [[Complete but undergoing an intense overhaul, please keep that in mind if you proceed (: ]]Iris thought Barry had grown out of the nightmares, she learns otherwise when she crashes at his apartment after a fight with her dad. Without a second thought she decides it's best she stay for a while. Barry starts to hope that maybe things could be changing between them, but of course, something always gets in the way.





	1. Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> **Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris decides to crash at Barry's, she learns he was lying when he said he was doing better and she decides to spend some more time with him,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warning: Trauma, Nightmares, grief.
> 
> AN: Hello! This was my first WestAllen long fic, I started it back in April of 2018. It's come a long way and there's a sequel in the works too. Hope you enjoy! Also, sometimes I mess up with pop culture because I confuse timelones and stuff, sorry about that!]]

lris stretched up on her toes and seized a bowl from the cabinet in the tiny kitchen. She knew this apartment like the back of her hand, she knew where everything was. From the bowls on the top shelf, to the file of Science magazines which were filed chronologically. She even knew which drawer had his t-shirts, which would definitely be her next stop. She knew it just as well as she knew the person who inhabited it: Barry Allen.   
  
The apartment was still, Iris knew when she arrived that Barry was already asleep so she wasn’t bothered by the silence. After a fight with her father she decided to take refuge at Barry’s. It certainly wasn’t the first time, and Barry far from cared. He lived just a block down from one of her favourite clubs, so it wasn't exactly usual for her to crash on his couch.   
  
When she finished helping herself to his mint chocolate chip ice cream-- which if she were being honest, he kept on hand for her--.   
  
She slid into his room. She pulled open his t-shirt drawer, she also knew which ones she was allowed to take and which were hands off. His Spider-Man shirt, she could feel the silk press design in the dim light, that one was hands off. The shirt she’d picked out for him at the Skipping Lions concert a lifetime ago, hands off, as much as she secretly wanted to steal that one-- ah -- she thought. A plain tee. She could take that.   
  
She pulled it out and changed into it as quickly as she could in the dark.   
  
A soft groan travelled through the darkness, Iris turned, afraid she’d woken him. In the dim light from the lamp on his side table she could see that he was in fact still sound asleep.   
  
Her eyes fell on him, he laid on his side, blankets only covering the bottom half of his body.   
  
A whine pieced the dark silence as Iris watched his hand knot up in the blanket. Iris had thought Barry was finished with his nightmares, that he was finally free of his demons just a little bit. She realised then that she was wrong.   
  
His jaw clenched.   
  
Iris crossed the dark room to the bed, seating herself near his head, a gentle hand meeting his clammy cheek.   
  
“Barry,” her tone was soft. “Barry you need to wake up,” her hand slid up so her fingers could rake through his hair. “Come on, Bar. It's over.”   
  
There was a sharp intake of breath and Barry sat up. He began to look around, his eyes adjusting to the dark. It reminded Iris of a bad movie.   
  
“Hey Barr, it's okay. It's me,” said Iris quietly. “You were having a nightmare,” she told him softly.   
  
“Oh,” he mumbled. “I didn't know you were here…” he looked over at her in the dim light.   
  
“I came by for a mint chocolate chip fix. Scooch over I'll stay with you,” she told him with a small smile.   
  
Barry, who was too tired to question her, moved over in the bed and settled back down.   
  
Iris slid under the covers, pulling them up over both of them.   
  
Barry was surprised when he felt her fingers combing through his hair with a gentle touch, but he didn't pull away or otherwise object.   
  
“Do you still have nightmares a lot?” She asked after a second, her touch moving to cradle his cheek.   
  
Barry melted into the touch, feeling calmer despite himself. He shrugged a little, his eyes drooping.   
  
“Sometimes,” he mumbled.   
  
“Are you lying?” She pressed her forehead lightly against his.   
  
“No. It's bad right now but it's not that bad,” he admitted. “It’s March,” he reminded her. The month surrounding his mother’s murder was always hard for him, it would be for anyone.   
  
“Oh, right."   
  
Barry sighed, content as she thumbed over his cheek gently, leaving behind a soft warmth he didn't know he needed. He always thought he liked living on his own, but he was lonely. He missed having people who waited up for him and noticed when he was gone.   
  
He hated spending his nights alone, not that he would admit it. He was glad Iris was there.   
  
She pressed her lips to his forehead, letting them linger for a moment before she pulled back.   
  
“If you want,” Iris started. “I can stay for the week,” she offered, knowing what the day after next was.   
  
“You don't have to do that. I'm an adult, I can take care of myself now,” he replied, but hoped she wouldn't let go.   
  
“Barr, it's okay,” she assured him, one hand rubbing his back in large circles.   
  
“If you keep doing that I'm going to fall asleep,” he gave a soft chuckle.   
  
“That's the point, you nerd.”   
  
“How do you always know exactly what I need?”   
  
“I’m a witch, obviously,” She smiled a little. “Get some sleep and tomorrow I'll fill you in on some dad drama.” She laughed a little. Her hand continuing to rub circles into his back.   
  
“How do I keep forgetting?” Barry closed his eyes, and Iris watched. She pressed a kiss to his cheekbone and waited for his breathing to level before allowing herself to fall asleep, holding him close to her as she did.   
  
The following morning, when Barry awoke he found himself with one hand tangled up in Iris’s shirt-- well  _ his _ shirt--.   
  
Iris was cuddled up close to him, her arm around him and a hand in his hair so his face was was against her chest. She must have pulled him in at some point.   
  
There was something nice about the way their bodies tangled together. It was effortless, and easy. He liked it, it made him feel calm and relaxed.   
  
“Your alarm is so loud,” Iris complained, her voice thick with sleep.   
  
Barry quickly sat up, looking away from her. He felt a heat pooling in his cheeks as he waited for her to comment on how they’d ended up. In the moment it wasn't so bad but when he realised he’d spent most of the night with his face buried in her chest he felt awkward.   
  
She didn't say anything, much to Barry’s surprise.   
  
Barry got out of the bed and started to pull out some clothes for the day.   
  
“If you want to call in,” She started. “I'll tell dad you're sick. We both know you're a terrible liar,” a smile crossed her lips.   
  
“I'm fine,” He said, shyly and awkwardly tucking a pair of underwear into his pile of clothes for the day.   
  
“Barr.” She said seriously. “You don't need to lie to me,”   
  
“We both know that I might never really be fine, but I'm fine enough to go to work today,” he tried to assure her. “Thank you for staying,” He added quickly. “Sorry about um…” he trialled off.   
  
“Sorry for what?” She couldn't think of anything he should feel bad about.   
  
Barry’s face turned a deeper shade of red. “My uh… face… was… Nevermind,” he grabbed a pair of socks from his drawer.   
  
Iris’s laugh indicated that she didn't move on from the topic.   
  
“You are so red ” she accused, visibly amused.   
  
“Well…!” he trialled off.   
  
“Barry, you're an adult,” she started. “You should probably learn how to say  _ breasts _ or at least  _ boobs _ ,” she teased. “Also, I don't care. We cuddled in our sleep. It's not like you were motor-boating me,” she yawned and stretched out her arms in front of her.   
  
“Don't say stuff like that,” said Barry. “Joe would shoot me if he heard us talking like that.”   
  
“Barr, we’re adults now. My dad isn't going to burst into your apartment and murder you because I said 'motor-boating' in front of you,” she replied and Iris’s phone dinged. She pulled it out and sighed. “Speak of the devil, my dad just texted me.” she pressed her lips together.   
  
“Fifty dollars says he's asking you if a boy is being inappropriate with you,” Barry joked.   
  
He got a pillow to the face in response as Iris dialed her father.   
  
“Hey dad. Yes I'm fine. I'm sorry for running out.” she sighed, preparing for the next one hundred questions. “I just went to Barry’s-- Yes Barry Allen! How many Barry’s do we know that I can just go to their apartment at midnight and sleep in their bed-- What? N-no.” She faltered slightly, Barry almost didn’t catch it. “He was on the couch-- I'm a grown woman dad-- yes grown! Twenty-two is pretty grown."   
  
Barry muffled a laugh behind his hand and was hit with a second pillow. In response he nodded to the door ‘Shower’ he mouthed before disappearing out the door.   
  
Barry slid into the narrow bathroom. The door could only open to a ninety degree angle and it hit the door to the small closet. He shut the door behind him and placed his clothes on the counter to get a towel. He caught sight of a loose tile on the floor that had cracked over time and sighed, he would have to get something for that eventually.   
  
The bathroom and the bedroom shared a wall-- a very thin wall-- so Barry could hear Iris assuring her father that she was safe and sound. He pulled off his shirt and tossed it in the hamper across from the toilet.   
  
“Yeah dad, I'm fine. Look Barry is…” she tried to find the right way to say it. “Not feeling too well. You'll see him today but I think I should stay with him for a little while. Ah- How long? A few days. Maybe a week.”   
  
Barry turned on the water, muffling all sounds from the other side of the wall. When Barry was dressed and had finished cooking breakfast for himself and Iris he headed back into his bedroom.   
  
Iris laid on the bed, face down. He knew she was awake because that was her ‘it's too early’ pose.   
  
“I mean you can go back to sleep if you want,” said Barry, leaning on the doorway. “But there’s enough pancakes here for two people, okay maybe six because I got anxious and lost in what I was doing,” he smirked.   
  
“Chocolate chip?”   
  
“You're here, so yes,” he laughed.   
  
“Fine.” She groaned, peeling herself off of the bed.   
  
“Everything alright with Joe?” he passed her a plate.   
  
“Yes,” she sighed as she took a big bite of her pancakes.   
  
“That sounds like a no,” He accused.   
  
“It's just the same thing. I know I'm his only child-- biological child--, but the man needs to let me breathe.” She spoke around a mouthful.   
  
“Yeah,” Barry laughed. “Every day at work your dad asks me if I'm eating, if I'm doing my laundry, and all that,” he laughed. “He just loves us,” Barry shrugged.   
  
“I get that, I really do, but he needs to cut the chord a little. What time do you leave for work?” She asked.   
  
Barry checked his watch and paled.   
  
“Now?”   
  
“Try fifteen minutes ago. I missed the bus,” he laughed.   
  
“I'm sorry!” she hissed, looking remorseful.   
  
“It's okay. I always miss my first bus. But I really have to go,” he stood from the table and grabbed his CSI kit.   
  
“Phone and wallet!” she called, reminding him.   
  
“Right! thanks. Bye!” and he was out the door.

* * *

“Hey Barr,” said Joe when he headed into the crime lab. “Iris said you weren't feeling well. Should you be here?” he asked.   
  
Barry sat at his desk, flipping through case files. A cup of hot coffee beside his work. “Hmm?” he glanced up at his foster dad. “Oh, yes. I'm fine.” He insisted.   
  
“Looks like Iris is avoiding me still. he sighed. “I swear that girl…” he trialled off. "But you're really okay?"   
  
“Like I said, I'm fine,” Barry insisted. “I can work and that's what matters. I have a jewel thief to catch."   
  
“I can trust you, can't I?” asked Joe. “If something was up with Iris, you would tell me, yeah?”   
  
Barry hesitated but nodded. What exactly was he supposed to say?  _ ‘She's reasonably pissed off that she's trying to be an adult but you won't let her? _ ' it was the same argument between Joe and Iris for the last few years.   
  
“Yes, of course. If she told me anything, I would tell you,” he assured Joe.   
  
“I don't know why she lied to me,” he explained.   
  
“What did she lie about?” asked Barry, but his voice cracked slightly, proving Iris’s point about being a bad liar.   
  
“Whatever went on with you two,” he explained, crossing his arms.   
  
“Woah hold on,” said Barry, “Look if you want a play by play of what happened I can tell you. Honestly. I have nothing to hide. The entire evening was G rated.” he held up his hands.   
  
Joe laughed, uncrossing his arms. "You think I'm worried about-” Joe shook his head. “Trust me. I don't worry about her with you,”   
  
“What? The way you said that didn't sound good,” he defended, not sure if he should be offended by Joe’s comment or not.   
  
“Iris has two types of lying, the kind she's good at, then the lying when she lies for you. She's bad at that.” he explained. “So I just wanted to know if you're okay,”   
  
Barry took a sip of his coffee.   
  
“It's March seventeenth.” he informed Joe. “Iris found me having a nightmare, and you know how she is. I breathe wrong and she makes it her job to take care of me,” he shrugged. “I think she was protecting me because I told her I thought you would be mad we shared a bed,” he explained, only partially lying so he got away with it. He did not want to explain the motor boating conversation.   
  
Joe put a hand on Barry’s shoulder. “I'm sorry, son. I'm working on the big Jensen case, I didn't even realise it was just about spring.”   
  
“It's fine,” replied Barry. “I told Iris she didn't have to stay for the week but she insisted.” he explained with a small smile.   
  
When Barry returned home at six, the flat was quiet. He started to wonder if Iris had decided to go home after all.

* * *

“Hey Barr,” said Iris coming into view, she kissed him on the cheek. “How was work?”   
  
“I tracked down a the girl who stole all those weapons from the military storage,” he said proudly. Don't get used to this. He told himself firmly, knowing Iris would be gone in a few days.   
  
“How did you manage that?”   
  
“Well, she apparently uses this designer skin cream that's only sold in like a small handful of little stores in Starling City. I had Joe circulate her picture to the SCPD and they made an arrest before noon.” He grinned.   
  
“That was fast,” she said, impressed. “If I ever steal military grade weapons I'll make sure I shower first,” she joked.   
  
“I'd still track you down,” said Barry confidently, crossing his arms and giving her a playful grin.   
  
“How would you do that, CSI Allen?” She asked, playing along.   
  
“I would just follow the brownie crumbs back to your house,” he shrugged. “Or mine if I knew you were out of mint chocolate chip ice cream,” he teased.   
  
She slapped his arm. “Shut up!” she rolled her eyes at him.   
  
“Did you eat dinner yet?”   
  
“I did not. How about we order from that food truck a few blocks down?” She suggested.   
  
“They moved, I don't know where though. I can order from Zimmerman's though,” he suggested.   
  
“Sounds good,” she agreed. “Are you off work tomorrow?”   
  
“Yes. I made sure I had that day off back in February.”   
  
“Good.”   
  
The next day Barry awoke when the sun shone through his curtains and he felt it's warmth on his face. He didn't get up through, not really. He just turned over to see Iris was awake, sitting up against the wall on her computer. One of her hands came over to brush through his hair.   
  
“Good morning,” she said casually.   
  
“Morning.” He replied.   
  
Iris shut her laptop and turned to look at him. “I bought some musicals online, some of them are pretty cheesy,” she informed him. “So I hope you're ready,” she smiled.   
  
“Always ready,” he replied, he turned over and pressed his forehead against her shoulder for a moment.   
  
“Hands off my good shirt. Take it off. I have a million shirts,. Take it off. Get another one," he told Iris, recognising his red Skipping Lions shirt.   
  
Iris put a hand on her chest, feigning innocence. “Barry Allen I'm going to call my father on you for saying something so lewd. Telling me to take off my shirt!" Her voice an octave higher than normal. Iris smiled to herself, her main goal was to distract him as much as possible.   
  
He rolled his eyes. “If you get food on it you get to track down the former members and get me a new one,” he replied.   
  
“Do you want to go out to breakfast?”   
  
“Do you feel up for a long trip?” he sat up and ran a hand through his hair.   
  
“I'm up for anything, Barr.”

* * *

A fifteen minute train ride and A twenty minute walk later they ended up in a small diner.

  
“What's this place?” asked Iris, looking around. The place must have been there for fifty years or so.   
  
Barry found a seat at the back, looking around at all the old posters.   
  
“This is Jean and Judes,” he smiled. “It’s my mother's favourite place in the world.”   
  
“Can I get you two something to drink?” asked an older woman who came into view.   
  
Barry looked at Iris to let her go first.   
  
“I'll have a coffee,” said Iris.   
  
“I'll have the same,” Barry added and leaned back on the old booth seat. “I haven't been in here since I was seven."   
  
“It's an adorable little place. We should make it out here more often,” she commented. “If the food is good."   
  
“Yeah,” he smiled. “My mom actually grew up in this town,” he explained. “I didn't get to come here too much though. Grandpa Blake died when I was young and I never knew grandma Fiona,” He informed Iris, recalling the very brief memories he had of his grandfather.   
  
The waitress returned with their coffee and the two young adults looked over their menus.   
  
“I think I'll get blueberry pancakes,” said Barry.   
  
“French toast sounds fantastic,” said Iris and the waitress took their menus.   
  
“I'm sorry,” came a voice after a moment.   
  
Barry glanced up and saw an older man standing before him, probably in his eighties, grey hair and wrinkles. He stood with a cane and wore glasses on a chain around his neck.   
  
“Young man, you wouldn’t be a Thomson boy, would you?” he asked, leaning heavily on his cane.   
  
“I’m sorry, sir. My name is Barry Allen.”   
  
“You look exactly like one of my old war buddies,” he started, pulling out his wallet, he opened it with one hand and presented a photo to Barry.   
  
Barry studied the black and white photo before him, two men in military informs. One was light haired and had a serious face, and the other was… well Barry. Down to that stupid grin he had. The resemblance was striking and he recognised the man right away.   
  
“That's my grandpa Blake,” said Barry. “I'm sorry, I didn't realise that my mother’s maiden name was Thomson,” he added quickly.   
  
“Oh! You're one of Nora’s. I thought you might be Bart’s,” The man laughed.   
  
“I didn't know my grandparents very well,” admitted Barry.   
  
“Your grandfather was a fine man, we served in the Korean war,” explained the man. “My name is Harold Stein,” he extended a hand, Barry shook it. “What's your mother up to these days?” he asked.   
  
“Oh, she died when I was eleven."   
  
“Oh I'm sorry. Your mother was an angel,” he replied sympathetically.   
  
“Barry and I are here celebrating Nora’s life today. Barry says this was her favourite place.” Iris chimed in.   
  
“Yes,” said Barry quickly. “Would you like to join us?” he offered, this man clearly knew his family, so in his book he definitely had a place with them.   
  
“Oh no. I wouldn't want to intrude.” He explained. “But don't be a stranger around here, you come here if you're in town. I have Breakfast here every day,” he nodded to them before shuffling past Barry, but not before leaning over and whispering. “She's pretty, don't let her get away.” he winked.   
  
Barry checked softly and said goodbye just as their food arrived.   
  
“What's funny?” She asked.   
  
“Oh, nothing."   
  
WA WA WA   
  
“Okay,” said Iris, “This is really good.” Iris hummed before stealing a piece of Barry’s pancakes. “Definitely better than the Denny’s in Central City."   
  
“Yeah, it's really good,” he laughed. “Hands off my pancakes, West.” he teased, swatting her hand away.   
  
“By the way. I had no idea you had an uncle, what's the story there?” She asked.   
  
“There isn't one.” Barry shrugged. “I mean, there is a story, but I don't know it. I didn't even know I had an uncle until my mom died. They tried to find him and ask him to take custody of me because apparently he was my godfather, but they couldn't.”   
  
“Weird. Anyways I want to say something for Mrs. Allen.” Iris cleared her throat. “Nora Allen, it's been eleven years since we lost you,” she reached across the table and took Barry’s hand, squeezing it gently. “Sometimes it feels like a lifetime, and sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday that Mr. Allen was building us blanket forts while you baked cookies,” she smiled sadly. “We miss you everyday.”   
  
“Thank you."   
  
Iris nodded and it was quiet as they finished their breakfast. “Is it bad that I'm kind of glad they didn't find him?” She asked after they’d paid their bill and made their way out. “Your uncle I mean,”   
  
“No,” Barry stuffed his hands into his pockets as they walked. “I'm glad too. I mean, can you imagine if all that happened and they just put me with some stranger? A stranger that probably wouldn't even want me.” he pulled one hand out of his pocket and took hers. “I'm really lucky that I had you and Joe.”   
  
“We were lucky to have you. I know the circumstances were awful,” she started “but you kept the house light."   
  
“I miss you guys.” he admitted. “Is that weird? I was so ready to move out on my own but it's too quiet now,” he sighed and Iris squeezed his hand again before weaving their fingers together.   
  
"It's not weird at all. We miss you too, even if my dad won't admit it," she laughed softly.   
  
By the time they returned to Central City it was about noon so they just grabbed Big Belly Burger for lunch and Barry put Singin’ in the Rain in the DVD player.   
  
“This was my mom’s favourite movie,” he noted. “She taught me how to sing,” he smiled.   
  
Halfway through the movie Iris’s phone began to ring. She answered it quickly, stepping away from the TV area and into the kitchen. “Hello? They are? Oh great!” She grinned. “Yes, I can come by right now.” she told the person the phone starting to look for her purse. “Thank you so much Cal, I owe you one,” she said before hanging up.   
  
She then made her way over to Barry again.   
  
“So, Barry you know how I told you I had a birthday gift picked out for you but it wasn't ready?”   
  
“Yes,” he raised one eyebrow at her.   
  
“Well. It’s ready but I have to go get it right now,” she grinned. “Will you be okay on your own for about a half hour?” She asked.   
  
“Yeah, you don't want me to come with?”   
  
"Nope! it's a surprise!” she grinned.   
  
Iris leaned down so she could press her lips to his cheek and Barry was glad to see her so happy.   
  
“Okay,” he laughed a little.   
  
Then she was gone.   
  
He was alone with his emotions again in the quiet apartment.   



	2. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry finally gets his birthday presents, but all isn't well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this may be silly but I built how I vew Barry''s apartment as best as I could. [ it''s right here ](https://ballycastlebatty.deviantart.com/art/Barry-s-first-apartment-hosting-742030449)
> 
> It's pretry much how I always picture his first apartment. Only thing it doesn't have is that the 'balcony' goes back further and there's a door to his neighbor's apartment. I will admit that I haven't been to many apartments and the layout is very loosy based an apartment building I lived in for some time in my youth. The stairs go down to the back of the building where the entrance to the sub-level laundry room.

**Iris:** _Hey Barr. Who was that guy you were talking about a few months ago? Science guy with like a hundred names._

Barry sat up straight, blinking the tears from his eyes before checking his phone and managing a reply.

 **Barry:** _Who?_

 **Iris:** _His name was was Boar right?_

 **_Barry:_ ** _You mean Niels Bohr._

He included several long paragraphs about his work, in a very Barry like fashion.

 **Iris:** _Yes him, thank you!_

Barry started at his phone in confusion but she didn't text again until a little while later.

 **Iris:** _I’m outside the door. Get your butt in your room and close your eyes. If you don't listen you don't get your present. :P_

Barry wiped his eyes, when he had the apartment to himself he allowed himself to let go a little. This lead to him curled up on the sofa, tears running down his face. He stood and headed into his room, closing the door before sitting on his bed. He wasn't exactly in a gift mood but he knew how persistent Iris could be. 

 **Barry:** _Okay. I'm in my room._

Barry heard the front door open and within seconds there was the sound of something being set down on the wood floors.

“Barry, close your eyes and don't you dare open them,” she threatened.

“Okay. They are closed.” he announced with a small laugh.

He heard the door open and Iris drew closer to him then finally spoke.

“Okay! Meet Wells and Bohr!” she said excitedly.

Barry opened his eyes and in her arms arms she held two kittens. One was an exceptionally large tabby and the other was small and had an almost smoky colour.

“Oh my gosh, hello,” said Barry. “Look at you,” he laughed as Iris placed one in his arms, Bohr; the smoky one. The small animal melted into him. It had been naptime when Iris retrieved them so they were still a little tired.

“You're officially a cat daddy,” she grinned. "I thought they would be perfect."

Barry set the cat on the bed, and stood to hug Iris tightly, careful of the kitten she still held. He couldn't have expected this, he and Iris had wanted pets growing up but that wasn't an option due to tight funds and time. During Barry’s first year in his apartment he began leaving food out for a very old cat which he named Einstein; one part for the science and another because this cat was a fat white domestic long haired cat. Barry had gotten the cat some shots and kept it fed. Occasionally it would come in through the back door and take a nap on Barry’s bed before going on it way. Sometimes, if Barry was lucky, he could pet him too.

Iris remembered how much Barry had grown to love that cat, and how devastating it was for him when Einstein was hit by a car the following year while he was at work.

“Thank you Iris, I love them.” he laughed a little.

Soon both kittens were curled up and asleep on the bed, Barry ran his hand over their sides before standing to hug Iris again.

“I could tell you were getting lonely so I figured this would be the perfect thing,” she smiled. “Also, I think you'll find these guys a little more loving than Einstein.”

“You were right, “ he laughed softly. “I'll have to pick up a lot of scratching posts tomorrow,” he chuckled, smiling wide, something he didn't expect today. “Also, Einstein was a great cat! I don't know why you and Joe hated him so much."

“Barry, that thing was _mean_.” replied Iris.

“He was just misunderstood,” argued Barry.

He had honestly expected to spend that day alone, he hadn’t really expect to do as much as get out of bed. Maybe go to the sofa to watch _Singing in the Rain_ on repeat, but that was the extent if his day plans.

“I'm glad to see you smiley, Barr.” she told him.

“That is entirely thanks to you,” he replied. “I really don't know what I would do without you."

“I'm always going to be here if you need me,” she promised, pulling back from the hug and cupping his face in her hands. “Smiling Barry is the best Barry,”

Barry closed his eyes and found himself wondering how he got someone like Iris in his life. He reached up and held her hand against his face for a second before letting go.

“I'm really glad you're here."

There was a soft meowing sound as the kittens got up. Barry headed into his closet and pulled out one of the cat toys he’d bought for Einstein a some point, it was a simple design, a ball made of foil paper and feathered bell hanging from a plastic pole.

Einstein hadn't given it much notice but the kittens noticed it right away and were easily entranced by it.

* * *

When Barry awoke for work the next morning, Iris was curled up against his chest and the kittens had formed a ball behind his head, he could feel them against his hair.

“Your alarm is the actual worst.” Groaned Iris.

“Well, not all of us can have jobs with flexible hours,” he mumbled.

“Well,” started Iris. “I'm awake. I'll feed the cats,” she smiled before disappearing out into the front part of the apartment.

Barry turned over, careful of the kittens and laughed when he saw them staring at him curiously.

He reached over and pet one of their heads before standing.

He changed quickly and moved the kittens to the floor, --not totally convinced they could jump off the bed on their own-- then headed out to the kitchen.

“So they get canned food in the morning and at night, and then I’d leave kibble out for them while you're at work,” Iris explained.

When she opened the can of food the kittens came running out.

Barry laughed as they started to whine.

“This is going to be an adventure,” said Barry.

“Yes it is.” She smiled. “Try not to miss your bus this time though. I'm off so I'll be with the boys while they settle in,” she told him.

“Alright, thanks,” he nodded.

Iris kissed his cheek before he left for work.

* * *

“I called you like three times yesterday,” said Joe as he entered the lab

“Sorry. Wells destroyed my phone charger so I had to turn it off.” said Barry as he ran a blood sample. He seemed very chipper.

“Who?” he asked.

“Didn't Iris tell you what she got me for my birthday?”

“No. She hasn't told me _anything_.”

“Wells and Bohr,” he held up his phone to Joe, showing him a picture of himself holding the kittens with a big smile on his face.

“They're cute,” said Joe with a smile. “But are you sure you have the time for two cats?”

“They're not that much work. Cats are independent animals and They’ll have each other when I'm a work,” Barry replied with a smile.

“I don't know Barr. You hardly remember to feed yourself, let alone something else…” he trialled off.

“I take care of myself just fine Joe, what's gotten into you?” said Barry, offended. Joe had never questioned his lifestyle before, not as an adult anyways.

“Can't you just be happy for me?” asked Barry. “I'm finally excited about something for the first time in a while,”

“I just don't approve,” said Joe.

“You don't need to approve, I’m an adult,” replied Barry and their argument continued.

“You need to be an adult about this, Barr. You shouldn't make commitments you can't keep, in a week you're going to get bored of them and then what? they end up in a pound? You know better than this,”  Joe said, sounding disappointed.

“Joe, I'm not a teenager anymore. Look, I have a lot of work to do,” he told Joe, ending the conversation.

* * *

“Bad day?” asked Iris as Barry came through the front door. He didn't have his usual grin and hadn't greeted her.

He grabbed a beer from the fridge.

“It's fine.” he said, dropping his new phone charger on the counter.

“Sounds like it,” said Iris, unconvinced.

Barry came to sit on the sofa, he grabbed the cat toy from the coffee table and dangled it over Wells, the tabby who laid on the floor.

He took to it right away, swiping at the feather.

“I got into a fight with Joe,” he admitted.

“What about?” She asked, moving to sit next to him and running her hand into his hair in an attempt to sooth him into undcruching his face.

“He doesn't think I should have the cats.” said Barry. “He’s convinced I'm just going to ditch them in a week,” as he spoke, Bohr come out of the woodworks and began to chase the toy.

“That's none of his business,” said Iris firmly.

“That's what I said.”

“You already love them,” Iris teased.

“Shut up,” he nudged her with his shoulder.

“If dad makes such a big deal about the kittens again, I'll just take them home with me,” she grinned.

“He would _love_ that,” said Barry with a laugh.

“I'm not bluffing.” she replied, leaning her head onto his shoulder.

“I should probably go home today,” said Iris.

“Yeah,” Barry agreed, watching the cats chase their toy until they gave up and wrestled each other instead.

* * *

The next week was uneventful and Barry kept up with the kittens with very little issue, apart from when Wells peed on the bed, causing Bohr to decide that the bed was also the little box. Re-training them to the little box was an adventure and cost him a new comforter.

On a surprisingly sunny Saturday afternoon, Barry put the cats in his room so he could head out the back door to his balcony. He had his laundry bag slung over his shoulder when he saw his neighbour leaning On the railing by her door.

“Good afternoon Ms. Codwell,” Barry waved.

“Hey Barry! The washing machines are broken again,” she called, giving him the heads up.

“Guess I'm going to Joe's then. How are the boys?” he asked to be polite. He wasn’t exactly close with his neighbours but he knew most of them, Ms. Codwell from across the hall, whom he shared a balcony and staircase to the laundry room with was a single mom with two boys, Parker and Pat he was pretty sure their names were. They were twin boys, surprisingly well behaved for their age. They were smart as well.

“They're great, thanks. They're at a friend's birthday party,” she informed him with a smile.

“Nice to have a break I bet. Oh, and I think you said Parker was doing the science fair this year? I think I’ve mentioned this before but Forensic scientist.” He informed her. “So if he needs any help you can always ask me.” He offered.

“Thanks Barry,” she smiled.

He nodded before heading overs to the West house.

It was quiet, but that wasn’t usual for this time of day. Iris and Joe were usually working.

Heading into the basement. Once he was situated down there he lifted the lid to the ancient machine and began to pile his clothes into it.

“Wow you came down here all by yourself,” came a voice from the top of the stairs.

“Hey,” he said defensively. “Dark basements are scary when you're eleven,” he argued, remembering that for the first year he lived there, he was terrified to go into the basement alone. It was small  and unfinished, the only source of light coming from a single hanging bulb near the centre of the room.

Iris felt something stir in her chest as she watched him. To anyone else, it was just a guy doing his laundry. For Iris it was her best friend, the main constant in her life, exactly where he belonged. She felt a heat in her cheeks, feeling the thought was silly. She had a hard time admitting how much she missed him. Barry was home to her in a way, the house didn't feel complete without him. She always tried to ignore thoughts like that though. Despite what she may want, things were different now.

“What are you staring at?” he asked after he started the machine.

“What are you doing now?” She asked.

“Right now? Nothing.” He shot her an optimistic grin. “The cats should be fine until about six,” he told her.

“Want to go through our old year books?” She asked.

“If you make me look at my old yearbook photos I'm going to call Joe and make him arrest you,” he replied.

“On what grounds?” She challenged.

“Assault,” he replied simply.

“Drama queen,” she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Guilty,” he shrugged. “How about we grab dinner instead? My treat,” he suggested.

“Sure,” she said and he followed her up the stairs, poking at her ribs, just as she let out a shriek Joe came in the door with a serious expression that made Barry stop in his tracks.

“Barry, could I talk to my daughter for a minute please?” he asked seriously.

“Uh-- yeah. I should get back to the boys anyways,” said Barry. “Iris I think Wells misses you,” he added before heading out.

* * *

The following friday while he was waiting for a blood sample to finish analysing his cell phone started to ring. Barry frowned as he registered Iris’s name on the screen, under her contact picture of the two of them making weird faces into the camera.

She never called him at work.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Barry?” She replied, but her voice cracked.

“Hey, what's wrong?” he asked, looking for a file as he spoke.

“Can I stay with you for a little while?”

“Of course you can. Do you have your key?” 

“Yeah.”

Barry heard her sniff slightly and he frowned.

“Okay, I'm just about done here and I'll be home soon.” He assured her.

He finished writing up his last report of the day, he rose from his desk and headed down to the Captain’s office, knocking on the door.

“Come in,” he called and Barry poked his head in.

“I have the forensics report from the Miller case, sir,” he said, holding up the file in view.

“Perfect. How is the blood sample from the Turner case coming?” he asked, glancing up at him.

“It's still in the computer, sorry. I expect it to be finished by tomorrow morning though, at the latest. So I'll have that report to you probably an hour after that's done,” he explained nervously.

“Oh,” he nodded. “Alright Allen.” He replied.

Barry set the file on his desk.

“I know the day ends in an hour, but there’s kind of a family emergency, do you mind if I head out now?” he asked.

“I guess,” replied Singh, waving him off.

* * *

Barry caught the first bus and was walking back to his apartment within the hour, after making a stop. He headed inside and could see Iris sitting on his sofa. He moved to sit next to her.

“I brought some mint chocolate chip,” he told her with a small smile.

“You're a dork,” she said with a shaky laugh. Iris looked up at him and wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand. She felt a little embarrassed that he saw her crying. She didn't let him see her like that often.

“Come on, what's wrong?” he asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She didn't respond, instead she curled up and put her head in his lap.

Barry set the plastic convenience store bag on the floor and his hand moved to gently rub her back.

“Hey, it's okay,” he said softly.

After what seemed like an hour, Iris composed herself and sat up.

“I'm sorry Barr,” she sighed, rubbing her face.

"No, it's okay… You know you can talk to me about anything right?” he told her, frowning slightly.

“I know,” she smiled a little.

“It's six so I have to feed the cats,” he told her. “Do you want to order pizza for dinner?” he asked, standing to retrieve the wet food from the fridge.

“Sounds good.” She agreed as the kittens came running from wherever they were causing trouble.“The cats didn't destroy anything today,” she commented.

“That's good,” laughed Barry, scraping the rest of the can onto the plate before tossing it in the trash and washing his hands. “I found this thing online that you screw into your window and it gives them a little outdoor nook. I might ask my manager if she cares if I install one. She probably won't,” he laughed.

“That sounds great!” Iris grinned. “I don't know what my dad was so worried about this, you know what you're doing.” She smiled.

“I'm hoping I can convince him to come meet them eventually,” he laughed. “Even Joe can't stay mad at cats this cute,” he grinned.

* * *

The next few days passed without consequence, Iris and Barry spent their evenings marathoning musicals, even the bad ones.

“What are we watching tonight?” asked Barry as he settled into the sofa. He had a single serving carton of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, he handed her the mint chocolate chip one.

“Barry you are evil. I'm going to get fat if you keep feeding me ice cream,” she argued.

“You're perfect shut up."

“You have to say that because I taught you how to talk to girls!"

“Whatever,” he waved her off as the movie started. “I still think you look perfect,” he said, staring at her for a few seconds too long.

The movie started and Barry recognized it right away, and emitted a long drawn it groan.  

“No.” He said seriously.

“Yes! _”_ replied Iris. “Remember when you were in love with Gabriella?” Iris asked.

“I was not!” he denied then shot back “You were the one with the Zac Efron poster on your wall,”

“Touché,” replied Iris and the movie went on.

Before long they were standing on the sofa and singing along to all the old songs and by the time the film was over they were on the sofa out of breath.

“This is why I never joined theatre in school,” he panted.

“You should start a band,” said Iris in a breathy tone, trying to catch her breath.

“Very funny.” he laughed. “CSI by day, cover band frontman by night,” he laughed lightly.

“You could so pull it off,” she teased.

“If you say so,” he smiled.

* * *

The following day was Barry’s day off. He was doing the dishes, singing the words to a Lady GaGa song that was popular when he was in high school. His music taste hadn’t really changed since the mid 2000’s.

Iris sat at the small kitchen table near the door, which was just large enough for two people and just watched him. She had just woken up and decided not to interrupt him, she liked when he was just happy and content as opposed to rushing around trying not to end up being later to whatever he was late to.

She frowned slightly as she realised they couldn't play house forever. His apartment wasn’t big enough for both of them, not long term anyways. On top of that, as much as she tried to deny it they; weren't kids anymore. They had to diverge and become two units instead of the perfect duet they had always been.

When Barry finished with the dishes he went to feed the cats, his eyes galling on Iris.

“How long have you been sitting there?” he asked.

“A while,” she grinned. “I love when you sing. I miss it around the house."

Barry flushed, embarrassed. “My music taste hadn’t changed since like two-thousand nine or something,” he laughed a little.

“I don't care,” she replied as he put the cat food on the dish for the kittens.

“They're getting so big,” he commented. “I wonder if Wells is part Maine Coon or something,” said Barry absentmindedly.

“I think Bohr is a runt, so Wells looks huge next to him,” Iris commented.

“That would make more sense,” Barry chuckled as the cats came barreling through, they jumped into Iris’s lap and then onto the table.

“Bohr is very clingy too,” he noted. “He likes to sleep right up against the back of my neck."

“You're going to be one of those guys who has to do everything with a cat on his back,” she laughed.

Barry’s phone started to ring, he grabbed it off the table.

“Hello?” answered Barry. “Oh hey Joe. Yeah she’s still here. Oh really? That's terrible. I'll keep an eye out,” he promised. “Thanks for calling, bye,” he hung up.

“What was that?” asked Iris.

“A little girl was kidnapped a few blocks from here,” Barry explained. “This is the second child disappearing in Central City in the last few weeks,”

“Oh really? That's too bad."

“I’m going to go across the way and talk to Ms. Codwell really quick,” he said before heading out the back door, making sure to close it behind him.  

He crossed the wooden balcony and headed over to the other door, Ms. Codwell’s back door. He rapped his knuckles against the heavy wood.

A few seconds later a young boy with sandy hair answered the door-- Parker.

“Hi Barry!” The boy grinned.

“Hey Parker!” Barry smiled. “If your mother home?” he asked.

“One second,” said the boy who disappeared back into the apartment. “ _Mooom_!” he shouted. “Barry from next door is here!”

Mrs. Codwell appeared in the doorway a few moments later.

“Barry,” she smiled. “What can I do for you?” She asked.

“I'm sorry to bother you, but I just got off the phone with my foster dad-- Detective West at CCPD.” He explained before continuing. “Another child was abducted and it wasn't too far from here. I just wanted to let you know. All they know right now is that the suspect drives a red sedan. No one's gotten a good ID on them."

“Oh my gosh,” she said in surprise. “Thank you for telling me."

Barry nodded and after promising to keep her updated, he headed back into his own apartment where iris was playing with the kittens.

“You never talk about your neighbors,” Iris commented

“Oh, Mrs. Codwell has twin boys, I think they're nine or something?” he explained.

“Oh, were you telling her about the kidnappings?”

“Yup. Also, your dad asked about you."

“Dad’s been a bit weird lately,” she admitted.

“Really? Are you going to fill me in on the dad drama?”

“He won't speak to me."

“What do you mean he won't speak to you?”

“I applied to the police academy, so he's giving me the silent treatment,” she explained.

“Oh."

“I don't know why he does this. At first I was upset, but now I'm just angry.” she sighed and ran a hand through her hair, disrupting the part. “That's why I came here, I can't live in a silent house,” they moved to the sofa.

“You know studies have shown that loneliness has negative effects on mental health,” said Barry. “I can't blame you for not wanting to stay there,” he wrapped one arm around her.

“I have to go back eventually,” she sighed.

“But right now you have two adorable cats, mint chocolate chip, and a best friend who is also pretty adorable,” he grinned.

“I don't know I think the best friend is kind of a nerd,” she replied with a smirk.

“Really? Is that a fact?” he asked.

“Yes it is,” she said smugly.

“I know some facts too.” he replied calmly, pretending to focus on the cats.

“Oh really?” She challenged.

“I know--” he started, his long arms locked around her. “where your tickle spot is,” he said proudly and began his assault.

“Barry!” she shrieked between giggles. “Barry Allen I swear of you don't--” she laughed again and kicked her feet, pushing at his hands.

When he didn’t let up she turned around and bit into his shoulder, sending a slight pain through his arm.

He released her.

“Ow!” he exclaimed as the pain shot through his shoulder.

“Oh come on, you baby!” she rolled her eyes.

“You _bit_ me!” he replied. “I'm not being a baby.” he crossed his arms.

“Did it really hurt that bad?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Maybe a little." he shrugged.

Iris laughed and rubbed his shoulder gently.

“Sorry Barr, but how else would I have gotten you to let go?” She laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, here's the thing... I said this had a plot, but I never promised to know what the plot was lmao. I thought I knew but then the Codwells showed up and I just keep writing whatever comes to me.


	3. Neighbors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris gets to know Barry's neighbours much to his dismay.
> 
> Or:
> 
> In which Iris knows nothing about children and Barry is big brother of the year becaue I like to turn stereotypes around sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warning: Iris referres to Barry as her brother but not genuinely,  
> The rating of this fic has been updated to Mature! The tags will be adjusted upon the chapters that earn this fic an M raiting. Sorry for the rushed nature of this chapter. Also the word ret*rded is mentioned in a flashback type sitation. Its not used in a way that's perceived as acceptable.]]

“I never knew that,” said Ms. Codwell, taking a sip from her mug.

“Yup!” Iris beamed. “Our Barry is multitalented. He can tell you just about anything about science but can also probably preform the entirety if _Singin’ in the Rain."_

“I don't know how a nice girl hasn't snatched him up yet. He sounds like a keeper."

“I ask myself that all the time,”

“I probably shouldn't say this-- but Barry talks about you all the time,” admitted Ms. Codwell. “He gets this big grin in his face when he does,”

“That's Barry.” she smiled. “So tell me about the boys, they're around nine or so?”

“Yup, fourth grade,” she smiled back. “Pat is extremely shy. Parker is very outgoing though. Parker _loves_ Barry,” she told Iris. “He always looks forward to his random science facts,” she laughed a little, covering her mouth with her hand.

“Aw, that's sweet."

“I actually wasn't sure Barry liked kids that much, or us for that matter. He's kind of distant. I was surprised when you invited me for coffee. Please don't get me wrong, he's always nice and offers to help with their homework sometimes but I always feel like he's just waiting to bolt back inside,” she chuckled.

“Oh trust me. He likes you guys! The thing with Barry is that he needs a lightning rod.” Iris took a sip of her coffee. “He’s nice and friendly to everyone but he needs someone with him if he's going to get close to people. We’re working on that. But he always has nice things to say about you and the boys." 

“Does it have anything to do with why he came to live with you and your dad?” She asked, then caught herself. “No, I'm sorry that's none of my business,” she shook her head.

“It's alright. A lot of people ask questions. Honestly that's one of the least invasive questions I've ever been asked.” she gave her a small smile, internally cringing about the time in high school when someone walked up to her and asked crudely if her friend was ‘ _retarded or something_ ’ when Barry was having a virtually silent day due to some bad meds he was on; courtesy of one of the shrinks that analysed him. “Barry’s been through a lot, but he's a good guy."

“He is a nice guy."

“The nicest,” Iris laughed.

Bohr got up from his spot on the sofa and raked his claws down the metal front door, meowing loudly.

“Who’s here Bohr? Did you hear Barry’s keys?” She couldn't get over how fast that cat bonded to Barry. “Careful Barr!” she called. “Bohr is clawing the door again.”

Barry inched the door open.

“Hey buddy,” he laughed. “Oh Hi Ms. Codwell,” Barry smiled, trying to hide his surprise.

“Hey.” Ms. Codwell waved.

“I invited her by for coffee, and gossip” Iris informed him.

“Gossip about what?” Barry asked, honestly not sure what the two women could have in common.

“You mostly,” said Iris, setting her mug down.

“Me?” he turned a slight pink.

“Iris was just telling me about your many talents,” Ms. Codwell explained. “Well, I have to go get my boys from school,” she said, standing and moving to put her mug in the dishwasher so Iris wouldn't have to.

Iris stood as well after carefully nudging Wells out of her lap.

“It was great talking with you Heather,” Iris smiled and walked her out.

“Why are you on a first names basis with my neighbor?” Barry asked when she was gone, he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Because I'm a social person,” she shrugged. “Why aren't you interested in getting on a first names basis with your _own_ neighbors?” She asked directly.

“It's better this way, they're great and all but things are perfect how they are.” he shrugged.

“What way is that?” asked Iris, raising an eyebrow. “Being a shut in? Your neighbors think you don't like them."

“We talk in the halls, and in the laundry room. I answer Parker’s science questions when he stops me, and that's it. I've never been inside their apartment and they've never been inside of mine, until today.” he trailed off. “I don't need anyone else. I have you and I have Joe. That's more than enough.” he said, trying to end the conversation.

“Barr, you can't hide from people forever,” she she told him, crossing her arms.

“I'm not hiding from anything,” he argued, but that was a lie.

* * *

The next morning Barry woke up lying on his stomach on the far end of his bed. Iris was spread out, taking up most of it. He felt a warmth on his back that he assumed was Bohr.

“This alarm,” Iris whined. “I'm leaving, and never coming back."

“Fine then go,” said Barry with a laugh.

“Uhnnnn,” Iris groaned.

“Can you get Bohr off my back so I don't send him flying across the room?” Barry requested.

Iris sat up and picked up the kitten in her hands. “You're clear,” she said with a very light chuckle.

Barry got up to feed the cats, who once again came running at the sound of the can opening.

Bhor sat in his lap as he and Iris ate breakfast, Iris snuck the cats small bits of her bacon when she thought Barry wasn't looking.

“I don't want to move him,” he laughed. “Also I ordered one of those solar powered cat toys that you stick on the window by the way,”

“That's a great idea!” Iris beamed. “They'll love that while you work,”

“I'm going to try and talk to Joe again today.” said Barry.

“Tell me how that goes. I'm working today and probably won't be here when you get home,” she told him.

“Thanks for letting me know.”

* * *

At work Joe came to meet him in his lab.

“Any luck on that blood sample from yesterday?”

“Yeah, here's my findings,” he held the file out to him. “Also, Joe, I know you're not for it but do you want to come meet Wells and Bohr?” he asked.

“I'm not sure if I'll have time today."

“Iris won't be there, don't worry.”

“She told you about that?” 

Barry gave him a look and shrugged a little as if trying to say ‘ _obviously_?’.

“Of course she told you that,” Joe felt a bit stupid, as if Iris wouldn't tell Barry what was going om.

“So,” started Barry. “I'll see you at the end of the day?”

Joe mumbled a reluctant agreement before heading out.

* * *

Barry turned his keys in the door as he spoke. “I don't have a lot of stuff. I didn't go overboard, but I ordered some scratching posts online as well as a toy and this really cool auto feeder I can activate from my laptop if I'm going to be home late,” he opened up the door.

“You seem pretty prepared,” said Joe.

“I _am_ a grown up now."

“I know."

“They like to sleep on my bed,” Barry said, heading into his room where the cats were curled up in a ball on the middle of the bed, awake but lazily grooming themselves. Barry lifted up Bohr and kissed the back of his head, the kitten emitted one soft meow before Barry picked up the other and headed into the front room.

“Okay. They _are_ pretty cute,” he allowed.

Barry set them on the small kitchen table and grabbed the can of food from the fridge, scraping some out into their bowl.

“I told you,” Barry replied, letting the cats eat. He turned to face Joe. “It gets lonely here so I'm kind of glad to have them around."

“You seem to know what you're doing. Do they have all their shots?”

“I need to check their paperwork,” Barry answered. he couldn't remember off the top of his head. “But they have an appointment next week,”

“They're better than that thing that used to sleep on your bed.” 

“Hey, Einstein was nice!”

“Because you fed him,” Joe patted Barry’s shoulder. “Everything looks good here,” he crossed his arms. “I'll see you tomorrow at work. I have to head out.”

“Alright,” Barry shrugged. “See you tomorrow.”

* * *

A half hour after Joe left, Iris came home.

“Barr?” She called, but when she headed further into the room she heard the shower running she instead went to the fridge and grabbed herself a beer before sitting on the sofa.

Wells didn't exactly move from spot on the sofa, but he stretched out his body so his back touched her thigh. Iris laughed softly and stroked his back. “Hey buddy,” she smiled. “I see my dad didn't ship you away,”

A few minutes later the bathroom door opened and Barry appeared wearing an old warped t-shirt and a pair of sweats.

“Already calling it a night?” Iris asked, though she wasn't surprised in the least.

“Yep,” he replied. “I have some stuff to finish up for an unexplainable case in Coast City,” he explained.

“If you go to Coast City you better take me with you,” she said seriously.

“Oh god no,” he laughed. “I wish,” he stretched and stifled a yawn with his hand.

“I see the boys are still here,” said Iris as Bohr started to scale his way up Barry’s back.

“Yep, Joe finally got over his cat issues,” he reached up to scratch Bohr’s head who was now perched on his shoulders.

“Oh Bohr,” she said affectionately. “We called it Barr, he's a clinger,”

“I think Wells prefers you,” he commented.

“Maybe.” she smiled before crossing the room and wrapping her arms around Barry’s middle, being careful of Bohr.

Barry was surprised but returned the embrace readily, holding her securely against him.

“What was that for?”

“Just you being you,” she smiled, kissing his cheek. “Please never change, okay?” She closed her eyes and her arms tightened around him.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” she nodded. “I think I have to go home soon though,” she admitted.

“Oh, okay,” he nodded. “Are you sure?”

“I'm sure. I'm going to call the academy tomorrow and withdraw my application, then I'm going to go home."

* * *

Barry laid on his back in the bed, unable to sleep. He was tired of course but he was sad too. He didn't want Iris to go, but he knew he probably wouldn’t tell her that. It would just guilt her into staying, wouldn't it? He for once, wasn't sure.

“You know,” said Iris after a bit. “I can't go to sleep until you do,” she stared up that the ceiling in the darkness.

“Why not?”

“Because I wait fifteen minutes to see if you have a nightmare then go to sleep."

Barry turned over to face her, though he couldn't really see her in the dark.

“I'm fine, Iris.”

“Are you really? I worry about you here all by yourself.”

"Iris, you don't have to worry about me,” he frowned.

Iris turned over to face him, her hand searching for his in the dark. When she found it she held it in both of hers, kissing the back of it.

“Out with it,” She urged. “Barry I know something is bothering you,” she told him.

Iris knew Barry like the back of her hand, that much was true, but she couldn’t see the biggest part of him, and no one was really sure how.

She knew everything about Barry, except that he was in love with her.

She never would know either. He would take this over nothing, he wanted to tell her how he felt but he couldn't lose her, a deep fear inside of him always held him back.

He had let himself down, he got used to living with Iris. He got attached to the situation and let himself hope for more. Iris was stubborn and persistent, if she wanted to stay with Barry in any capacity, she would have made it known.

“It's just that you were right about me being lonely here.” He admitted, and it wasn't exactly a lie. “Not that I don't want you to make up with Joe,” he clarified. “I'm just going to miss you,” he laughed once. “It's stupid."

“You won't miss me that much,” she teased lightly. “Maybe I can come out next weekend,” she suggested with a smile he couldn't see in the dark.

“You don't have to do that. I don't want you to come over because you feel guilty,” he replied, knowing she often made it her job to take care of him.

“I don't feel guilty I love staying here,” she frowned.

* * *

The following weekend Barry and Iris headed up the stairs to his apartment. He raised his eyebrows when he saw a pile of moving boxes beside 4B. He headed over, Iris trialling behind him.

A short woman with a pink streak in her brown hair appeared from the doorway to grab another box.

“Oh, hello! I’m Bett,” She smiled. “Are you both neighbours?” She asked.

“Oh right, sorry um. I'm Barry Allen and this is Iris West,” he introduced him and his friend. “I live in 3B but Iris just stays here sometimes,” he explained.

“I'm pretty much always here so you'll see me and my brother a lot,” she smiled. The words felt unnatural as she spoke them, but this girl was cute and she definitely noticed Barry, and she knew sometimes their closeness was intimidating to people.

“You have two different last names,” Bett pointed out.

“Barry’s adopted,” said Iris quickly.

“Oh,” she shrugged. “Hey, you're pretty tall, do you think you could help me with something?”

“Sure yeah,” He agreed. “What's the problem?” he asked. She carried in another box, nodding for him to follow.

The two followed her inside and she lead them back to a pantry.

“Can you reach that? I can't and I can't get a chair in here,” she explained, pointing out an empty crate on the top shelf.

“Yeah,” Barry, stepped into the small space and stretching up slightly to grab the crate, pulling it down. “Where do you want it?” he asked.

“Right on the counter is fine,” he nodded and set it down on the counter next to the cupboard. “That was no sweat for you, how tall are you?” She asked, touching his arm a little. He wanted to shy away but he didn't want to be obviously put off by the contract so he

“Six-two."

“So, Bett,” said Iris. “Where did you move from?”

“Coast City,” she told Iris with a grin. “Born and raised,”

“Oh really? Barry and I were just talking about Coast City,” Iris pointed out and Barry shoot Iris a look.

Barry helped Bett get the rest of her boxes settled inside the apartment.

“The manager is kind of notorious for being bad with phone calls, by the way,” he told her. “I recommend texting her,”

“Are you like _the guy_ around here?” Bett asked.

Iris nudged Barry’s shoulder. “Yep!” she smiled. “Barry is always happy to help. Whether you need science information or musical recommendations, Barr is the guy to call.”

Barry struggled to figure out why Iris was pushing him so hard to be social but he smiled politely. “Yeah,” he agreed.

* * *

When Iris and Barry returned to his flat he sighed.

“What the heck was that?” asked Barry, heading to the fridge to grab himself a beer.

“What was what?” asked Iris innocently.

“First off, you said I was your brother. We lived under the same roof for seven years and your dad calls me his kid but never _once_ have you ever called me your brother." He pointed out, he wasn't angry. If anything he just felt incredibly awkward.

“Barr. When you have sleepovers with girls you're not related to, people assume things,” she pointed out.

“That's never bothered you before.”

“Well, before you didn't have a pretty girl all over you.”

“What do you mean?”

“That girl was totally into you. Like, _really_ into you.” she explained. “You really didn't notice? She was totally eyeing you! Oh and the way she touched your arm and obsessed over how tall you are?”

Barry had only really noticed the touch, which he didnt particually enjoy, but he was a little focused on what they were doing.

“I noticed when she touched my arm but I didn't really notice anything else. You know I kinda get into my bubble,” he explained, though if he was being honest he didn't really notice girls as much when Iris was around.

* * *

On Monday Iris called Barry at work again.

it was midday when Barry’s phone started to vibrate against the desk. He glanced down and saw it was Iris. He answered quickly.

“Hey, Iris, what's up?” he asked, concern colouring his tone.

“Help me, I'm with the twins from next door.”

“Did something happen?” Barry stood.

“No. Heather got called into work, and I was kind of here to give the cats treats-- anyways she got called into work but the boys have school off. I panicked and said I would watch them. What do I feed them?”

“Iris, they're big kids. They can eat regular food. Parker is allergic to something though. Ask him.”

Iris put her hand over the receiver. Parker, what are you allergic to?" He answered and she uncovered the phone “Wallnuts,” she told Barry.

“Okay, just ask them if try want peanut butter and jelly. You know where everything is.” he, reisteddfod the urge to laugh. “We took a child care class in high school,” Barry reminded her.

“I dropped that class, remember? The robotic baby freaked me out,” she reminded him.

“Oh right, your thing about robots.” 

“Robots are creepy!” insisted Iris. “Are you coming home soon?”

“Not until five."

“Oh god.” she groaned. “They're the nicest boys but I don't have any idea what I’m doing,” she admitted.

“I'm at work, I have to go, but make them lunch then if their mom is still out when I get home we’ll order a pizza. I think I still have _Sorry!_ in the linen closet.” he suggested. “All you have to worry about is making sure they're gentle with the cats,”

“Oh they're great with the cats. Pat has Bohr on his lap,” Iris smiled.

“Good. You've got this Iris, I'll be home at five thirty,” he told her, hanging up.

* * *

When Barry came home, Iris and the twins were playing _Sorry_! on the coffee table.

“You survived,” Barry teased Iris.

“It's not funny,” she replied, shooting him a look.

“Hi Barry!” Parker grinned. "Are you going to come play with us?”

“I am, I just need a few minutes. I was at a crime scene today,”

“Woah! Was there a dead guy?” asked Parker, innocently.

“Not today.” he laughed. It was the same answer he always gave, even if it was a lie.

Barry disappeared into his room and changed out of his work clothes and into his Spiderman shirt and a pair of sweats before returning to them and seating himself beside Iris.

“You like Spiderman too?” asked Pat.

“Yes I do, he’s my favourite superhero, who's yours?”

“I like Bluejay.” he said softly.

“You like the sidekick?”

“Yes. He doesn’t need powers or big weapons to help people,” he said, petting Bohr who was asleep in his lap.

“I think Bluejay is a great character ...  think I have his self titled comic in my collection somewhere, I’ll look for it next time I'm at Iris’s house.” he smiled.

“Iris doesn't live with you?” asked Parker.

“No I don't,” said Iris.

“I thought Iris was your wife,” said Pat quietly.

Barry’s face turned red and he couldn’t stop it.

“N-no,” he shook his head. “Iris is my best friend,” he said. “Do you have a best friend, Pat?” he asked.

“Parker is my best friend,” he replied and turned his attention onto the cat again, effectively checking out of the conversation.

* * *

When the boys left Iris was relieved.

“Thank god,” she sighed.

“You did good." He patted her back.

“I never know what to say to kids."

“With kids that age you just let them steer the conversation,” he shrugged.

“Noted,” she nodded. “How are you good with that?”

“I've studied human development.”

“That's fair.” she shrugged and sighed, running a hand through her hair.

“It's kind of late, I'll probably just stay over. You know how dad gets when I walk around the city alone at night,” she replied.

“I don't like you walking alone at night either.” said Barry.

“Ugh Barr. You both worry too much,” she rolled her eyes. "I think you sometimes forget that I can take _you_ down if I try."

“Joe and I don't have the liberty of being blissfully unaware of the type of world we live in,” said Barry. “It's not that we don't have faith in you, we just know that the world is dark."

“I guess you're right.” she allowed.

“Anyways, if you'll excuse me I need to take a look through your shirt drawer.” she smiled.

“Hands off the Skipping Lions shirt!” he called after her.

“You're no fun. You never wear it anyways,” she argued, now in his room, going through his top drawer.

“I don't want it to get ruined,” he replied as he fed the cats.

Iris came back out with her hair in a bun and Barry’s police academy t-shirt hanging off her small frame.

“You know ... I take a little pride in the fact that I'm like, the only person allowed to touch your stuff,” she commented casually.

“Don't get cocky, West,” he rolled his eyes.

* * *

The next afternoon when Barry was heading back to his apartment.

“Hi Barry!” Bett came into view, smiling when she saw him.

“Hello."

"Could you maybe help me with a thing again?”

“Sure. I have to feed the cats though,” he told her. After a second of hesitation he invited her inside.

He headed to the kitchen and got a can of food from the cupboard and started to scrape its contents into their bowls, they now had their bowls as they were getting bigger. The cats came running in from the bedroom and rushed to the food.

“I would have pegged you as more of a dog person,” said Bett as she watched him.

“Oh I _love_ dogs,” said Barry. “Sometimes Offiicer Harris brings Misty into the precinct, she’s his brother’s retired bomb sniffing dog and she's the best.” he smiled. “Iris always makes fun of me for how fast I run down when she's there. Oh you needed help with something?” he suddenly remembered.

“Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing but the light bulb in the cabinet went out and I can't reach it,” She informed him.

“Oh, alright. Tall person is on it,” he replied and followed her back to her apartment.

He ducked into the cupboard again, taking out the bulb.

“So, you mentioned the precinct earlier. Are you a cop?” She asked as she took the dead bulb from his hand and handed him a working one.

“Oh, no way,” he laughed. “My foster dad is the cop in the family. I'm just a forensic assistant. Iris sometimes calls me a Sidekick,” he explained with a laugh. “I don't catch the bad guys, I just pick up after them and possibly find them, so the police can catch them.”

“So you deal with bodies and stuff?”

“I don't actually work _with_ the bodies that much. I document the crime scene but then the body goes to the medical examiner for an autopsy.”

“That's really neat, do you get a badge?”

Barry pulled out his badge with one hand and offered it to her to look at.

“Nice,” she said, sounding impressed as she looked it over in her hands. “Do you have a uniform?” She asked curiously, and the edge to that question went so far over his head that it hit the international space station.

He laughed at that. “No, I don't wear a uniform. Sometimes we have to cover our shoes though,” he explained innocently. “Oh, and it's not like on T.V. I look at pretty average crimes too. A couple of weeks ago I collected elimination prints for a family who had a break in."

“What does that mean?”

“Basically we collected prints from the family to compare them to prints we found at the scene.”

“That's interesting,” she replied. “Do you want to stick around for dinner?”

“I actually have to meet Iris for dinner in an hour. Sorry."

“Oh okay,” she smiled. “You guys are really close yeah?” 

“I don't think we could get closer if we tried,” he laughed.

“That's really nice. I don't really talk to my parents and I don't have any siblings,” she admitted.

“I'm sorry,”

“Eh, it is what it is,” she shrugged.

* * *

A few more weeks past and Barry pulled out his phone, texting Iris.

 **Barry:** _Bett is kind of weird._

 **Iris:** _Why? I like her! We had so much fun at brunch the other day._

 **Barry** **_:_ ** _She keeps coming up with random tasks for me to do. There is no way that tiny pantry bulb died twice in a month. She's also super into my job and you._

 **Iris:** _Barry. Honey. Listen to me._

 **Iris:** _She likes you. She is trying to get to know you. Let her. Make friends._

 **Barry:** _I have plenty of friends._

 **Iris:** _Reading comic books to Pat and Parker on the balcony is not friendship._

 **Barry:** _I didn't mean them. I have friends._

 **Iris:** _Then be a big boy and tell her you're not interested._

 **Barry:** _That would be rude. Also embarrassing if she doesn't even like me._

  
**Iris:** _Oh my god. I'm working I'll call you when I get off my shift._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to get at least two back to back chapters of this out every two weeks! I'll see how that goes though. Thank you for reading (:


	4. Bett

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry continues to get to know his neighbors.
> 
> Or: fluff for reasons,

“So, are you going go ask Bett out or am I gonna have to hold your hand through that?” asked Iris over breakfast at Jitters. It was expected to be a slow day at the precinct Iris had managed to drag Barry out to breakfast.

“Okay, listen.” Barry started before taking a big bite of his sticky bun. “I don't know what your obsession with Bett is, but I can tell you right now she isn't into me.”

“Barry. She’s always flirting with you.”

“She is not!”

“ _Oh Barry_! You're so tall,” Iris put her hands together and batted her eyelashes dramatically. “Please come to my apartment, I made up some things for you to fix! Wow you're so smart how did you do that?”

“She doesn't act like that."

“She does too! Barry, she's pretending to need your help for an excuse to talk to you.”

“Why does she need an ulterior motive to be talkative?”

“Well I invited her to breakfast.”

“What? When?”

“A few minutes ago-- there she is,” Iris waved with a smile, putting her phone away. “We’re back here, Bett!”

Bett made her way into the coffee shop and sat with them, she pulled her hair back over her shoulder and smiled at them.

“Morning guys,” she had sat herself right next to Barry.

“Hey,” Barry smiled and nudged the plate closer to her.

“We already ordered a bunch of sticky buns. Help yourself.”

“Thanks,” she smiled. “So, no crime scenes?”

“Nah. I'm on call this morning.” he shrugged.

“Oh fun. Hey, what is there to do around here anyways?” asked Bett.

“Well, the theatre on Grand Avenue is _great_. There's also the bowling alley.” Barry started to list off places.

“What about clubs?”

“I've never been to a club. Well I have-- just not while it was open.” he explained.

“Barry is more of a quiet nights in kind of guy.” Iris finished her coffee.

“That's nice. Oh by the way you still need to show me which musicals to get into!”

“Oh yeah,” he agreed. “We should do Singin’ in the Rain and Le Mis, Grease is kind of considered a classic too, it's not my absolute favourite but it's _really_ good.”

“You're such a liar! You bought that leather jacket just because of that musical.” Iris teased. “I have to go see my dad,” said Iris, standing. “I'll see you guys later though.”

Barry shot her a look but she was already leaving.

“Iris is nice.”

“She's the nicest.” Barry agreed _nicest pain in the butt_ he would say if she was still there.

By the time they left the two had agreed to a movie night.

* * *

The parking lot of the apartment complex next to Barry’s was on a slight incline. The two properties were separated by a large, wide curb. That was where Iris laid back on now, enjoying the sun while Barry read Bluejay comics to Pat as they sat in the grass. Barry had gotten a lot closer with his neighbours than he ever thought he would, mainly due to Iris’s meddling.

He still didn't know how he felt about this. Getting close to people was a new territory for him that he wasn’t even entirely sure he was ready for, but whether he liked it or not, the Codwells were getting attached, and so was he.

Parker had come down with a nasty flu so Iris and Barry had offered to take care of Pat for the day, for which Heather was extremely grateful.

Pat was quiet as Barry read to him, making different voices for the characters. Iris enjoyed listening, she loved seeing Barry so animated and excited about something that wasn't science for the first time in a while.

“Anyone else craving ice cream?” asked Iris asked around two.

“How does that sound, Pat?” Barry asked with a smile.

“Okay,” Pat nodded.

Iris pulled out her phone and dialed Heather.

“Hey, we were going to go grab some ice cream if that's okay with you?” Iris asked. “Oh, we weren't going to go far. Just Mason’s on 83,” she explained. “Yeah. Is Parker still throwing up or does do you guys want some too? Just a vanilla? Sounds good.” Iris hung up her phone and stood from the curb.

* * *

The ice cream parlour a few blocks down was surprisingly quiet when they arrived. It was usually pretty busy as it was really the only one in that part of the city.

“What flavour do you like?” Barry asked.

“I like chocolate,” said Pat.

“Okay, do you want sprinkles?”

Pat shook his head.

Barry nodded, patting his shoulder. “Okay,” he smiled.

Pat pulled away quickly from the touch.

“Sorry buddy, I forgot,”

Pat nodded “It's okay,”

Iris noticed this and raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything.

The trio headed to a table at the back once they got their ice cream and settled in. Barry passed the child extra napkins knowing there would probably be a mess.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” said Pat after a bit.

“Okay, I'll hold your ice cream.” Barry said and Pat passed him the cone.

They boy headed into the single family bathroom not far from their table.

“What happened when we were ordering?” Iris asked.

“What do you mean?” asked Barry, having forgotten about the incident.

“You touched his shoulder and he nearly ran out the door,” she commented before taking a bite of her ice cream.

“Oh. Pat has a sensory processing disorder, and doesn’t always like to be touched.”

“Isn't that an autism thing?”

“It can be, but I don't think either of the boys are autistic. At least, Heather hasn't said anything about it.” he shrugged and took a bite of his chocolate chip cookie dough.

“Oh,” she replied. “Didn't one of your doctors think you had a sensory processing thing when we were like _really_ little?” she asked.

“They did, yeah. They thought I was 'sensory avoiding'. They also thought I was autistic too at one point I was behind on a few of my milestones, like walking and talking. However, it turns out that I don't have either. I’m just always late and really sensitive.” he joked with a smile.

“More like a cry baby,” her tone was teasing.

“ _Ouch_.” He feigned offence.

Iris laughed and touched his cheek. “You're an adorable cry baby though,” their eyes met. It was another one of those moments as he looked back at her-- the kind where he felt maybe, just _maybe_ she could feel the same way he does.

Sadly, it was short lived. She quickly looked away again, back to her ice cream.

“I think I kind of like kids now,” she changed the subject.

“They don't freak you out anymore?” Barry laughed.

As she spoke Pat returned to his seat and took his cone back from Barry.

“Shut up,” she rolled her eyes. “Not all of us can be kid whisperers,” she finished her ice cream. “Hey, Pat. How was school yesterday?”

“It was okay,” he said quietly.

“Do you have any classes that you really like?” She asked.

“I like art.”

“Oh wow! that's really fun.” She spoke genuinely. “I would love to see what you make sometime.”

“He loves drawing.” Barry stated “Maybe he'll be making his own comics one day.”

“I can do that?” asked Pat, beaming.

“Of course! You can do anything you want. You just have to work really hard on it.”

 

After a few minutes Bett headed into the ice cream shop and ordered herself a large helping of chocolate chip cookie dough.

It didn't take her long to notice Barry and Iris. She headed over to them. “Hi guys! I didn't think I would run into you.” she smiled broadly at them, but then her gaze turned calculating when her eyes fell on Pat. Admittedly he could pass as being related to Barry at a stretch. They were both lanky and their hair was the same shade of dark brown. She quickly started trying to do math in her head, she had thought Barry was around her age; but he also had one of those young faces that made it hard to tell.

“Well, it's a big city but a small neighbourhood.” Barry grinned at her.

“Who's this? She asked with a smile.

One of Pat’s small hands gripped Barry’s sleeve as he attempted to hide behind him, but remain in his seat at the same time.

“This is Pat.” said Barry.

“He’s shy,” Iris mouthed.

“Oh … is he … yours?” she asked hesitantly and almost awkwardly, but tried to play it cool. It would make sense, she decided. Maybe he was a little older than he looked and was a single dad. It would definitely explain to her why he seemed interested but also kind of distant.

Barry let out a large rumbling laugh at that. “No, no not at all. I don't know if you met Heather Codwell in the adjoined building yet, but this is one of her boys. We share a balcony."

“Oh,” Bett nodded. “Hi buddy,” she smiled. “I'm Bett. I live across from Barry.” she told him but he didn't reply.

“Would you like to join us?” Iris offered.

“I would love to but I'm actually meeting an old friend.” she grinned. “You guys have fun though!”

* * *

“So,” Iris began after a few minutes of silence on a particularly rainy Friday evening.

“Yeah?” Barry asked, looking up from his science magazine. He laid on his bed, Bohr curled up on his stomach. Iris had just entered the room. She snapped a picture of the two with her phone and the shutter sound nearly echoed in the room. Bohr looked up, but quickly settled back down.

“Delete that,” Barry complained.

“No it's cute! I'm sending it to my dad,” she grinned, and also made it her lock screen for good measure. “Anyways, when is Parker’s science fair? I'm taking the day off incase you can't go, and also because I really want to go.”

“The third of next month.”

“Good. Also Bett was acting _super_ weird in the hall. She didn't even say hi to me. Has she said anything to you about being mad at me?”

“Oh…” Barry’s face went red.

“Did you sleep with her?” Iris asked, shocked.

“No! God. No.” he shook his head.

“What happened?”

“We… kissed.”

“Why is she being weird? I was so sure she liked you,” Iris seemed confused.

“Um … that's … my fault,” he looked a bit sheepish.

“What did you _do_ , Barry Allen?” She gave him a hard look.

“Listen, she wanted me to recommend some musicals. Last Saturday and we were watching Le Mis and she just like-- kissed me on the middle of the Red and Black song which is honestly the weirdest time to kiss someone and I kind of panicked and I … made an excuse to leave,”

“Barry,” she sighed, her head handing in her palm. “You lovable goof,” she sighed. “What were you thinking?”

“Me? You're the one who kept telling me to get to know my neighbors,” he argued.

“I told you she liked you and you wouldn't believe me!”

“Well you know girls don't really like me.”

Iris rolled her eyes. “Look, I'm rained in and I don't want to fight right now, but you should talk to her. Apologise. Not for not wanting to kiss her because you don't need to apologise for that, but for running out on her.” She urged him. She honestly had no idea what she was going to do with Barry.

“I'll talk to her…”

* * *

A few days had passed and Barry stood in the hallway of his apartment complex. He took a deep breath before he headed down the hall to Bett’s unit. He knocked on the door, shuffling the paper grocery bag into his left arm.

Bett appeared a few minutes later, he hair in a messy bun.

“Oh. Hi Barry.” she tried to act disinterested but she wondered what he could want.

“Hey… Are you busy?”

“Kind of,” she lied, crossing her arms.and leaning against the door frame.

“I brought cookie dough ice cream and I was hoping we could talk,” he gave her a strained smile, holding up the bag slightly. “but I won't blame you if you want to shut the door on me instead.”

“Oh? Is that so?”  she raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you going to run out with a fake excuse again?”

“Nope. I ran out of fake excuses.” he smiled a little.

“Come on in,” she opened the door and headed into the kitchen, she grabbed two bowls and two spoons.

Barry handed her the ice cream and set the grape soda he also got on the counter.

“You're like, double prepared.” she observed.

They did have a lot in common, they had almost the same taste in treats and movies, she was nice ...but she wasn't Iris. He figured it probably wasn't fair for him to compare every girl that showed interest in him to his first love, but he just couldn’t help it. It was hard for him to pay too much attention to other girls when he was hung up on Iris.

“Well, it's not every day I have to make up for literally running away from someone,” he pointed out.

She pushed a now ice cream filled bowl into his hands and went to the kitchen table where they sat in silence for a few minutes.

“I have a really bad habit of running away from my problems,” he told her after several uncomfortable minutes. “I spent most of my childhood getting beat up on and I couldn't fight so I ran.”

“Did you really go all the way to Millers to get ice cream, just to tell me I'm a problem?” she asked in disbelief.

“That's not what I meant,” he sighed. “I’m pretty sure a girl hasn’t even _looked_ at me since I was like sixteen,” he took a bite of his ice cream. “Iris tried to tell me you were interested in me but it kept going over my head and I guess gave off a vibe that I was interested. I was completely caught off guard.”

“Really? No one?” She asked. “But you're like-- adorable.”

“I had a bad reputation at school.” He looked down at his ice cream. “Something happened when I was a kid and the aftermath made people dislike me,”

“What happened?”

“Maybe we can talk about it on another movie night?” he suggested. “I would really like us to be friends if that would be possible.”

“I’ll think about it.” she gave him a small smile.

* * *

Barry heard a knock on the back door; he headed over and opened it. To his surprise, Pat was waiting silently on the balcony, a piece of paper in his hands.

He frowned slightly, it was rare to see the two boys separately.

“Hey buddy, everything okay?” he asked.

The boy nodded. “Yes. Is Iris here?”

“You know what? She’s not but I can call her if you want to talk to her,”

He shook his head.

“I made this for her,” he said, holding up a picture of what appeared to be an ice cream cone filled with mint chocolate chip ice cream.

“That's amazing, she's going to love it!” he smiled. “I'll tell you next time she comes over, okay?” he smiled.

“Okay. Can I play with Bohr?”

“Does your mom know you're over here?”

Pat nodded.

“Alright, you can play with Bohr for a few minutes while I finish packing. He's on the sofa.” He told Pat before returning to his room to finish packing up his large suitcase.

He had just finished packing up his shirts when he looked up and saw Pat standing in the doorway of his room, holding Bohr in his arms.

“Hey,” said Barry.

“Why are you packing?”

“I have somewhere to go on Friday. Kind of like an adventure!” he told him with a smile.

Pat nodded.

Barry turned his attention back on his suitcase, starting to put a few files into it.

“Why are leaving?” He asked. “Are you mad at me?”

Barry closed up his suitcase and moved across the room, crouching down slightly in front of Pat. "Hey. It's okay. I'm not mad at you. I'm going for a few days and then I'll be back,” he tried to assure him.

“Do you promise?”

Barry frowned. “Yes. I promise Pat.” he said seriously, then smiled. “I'm going to Flowergate City, I'll bring some cool stuff back for you and Parker. How does that sound?”

“Okay,” he went to sit on the sofa with the kitten for a few more minutes before Barry watched him head back home.

* * *

“Hey, nerd.” said Iris as she plopped down on his sofa on a particularly dreary afternoon. The rain was loud against the windows, making it hard for Barry to focus.

“Hmm?” Barry hummed from where he stood in front of the fridge.

“I got a bunch of movies and I think we should have a marathon since you're not going to Flowergate City anymore."

“That sounds fun,”

“Also, how is that case going?” She asked. “With the missing kids? Dad doesn't talk about it.” she spoke casually.

“We don't have any leads right now but we’re pressing all of our resources.” Barry quickly changed the subject, he didn't want to talk about that case either. “Anyways. I’m starting to wonder what happened with Parker and Pat’s dad.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. I think he left them. Pat got really upset when he saw me packing.”

“Is that why you cancelled your trip?”

“No, the weather is bad and I don't feel like being laid over in an airport.” he informed her as he settled into a spot on the sofa.

Iris reached reached over and have his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I'm sure they're okay.”

Barry was far too used to this. Iris staying with him, their closeness. Iris and Barry had always been close, there was no doubt about that. His only high school relationship was abruptly ended because the girl couldn't handle how close the two friends were … however this felt different somehow but he couldn't let himself think that.

Iris had never had a serious relationship herself, due not only to her busy life and fears, but also to the fact that guys didn't like it when you constantly cancelled dates over another guy. Even if that other guy was someone you insisted was your sort of but not really brother. She had no idea that was about to change, neither did Barry.

“Ugh I forgot!” Barry groaned. “I have to go meet with the new guy in the morning.” He leaned his head on Iris’s shoulder. “Don’t wanna do that.”

“What new guy?”

“Well, they decided an assistant needed an assistant. Apparently I get to mentor some guy.”

“That could be fun though. You could use a friend our age.” She hoped that comment didn't come off harsh.

"He’s a year younger than us. Also, I'm not even really qualified for this.”

“Is he cute?” The question had an edge to it that Barry somehow managed to pick up.

“I’ve never seen him.” he shrugged.

* * *

Barry headed into work the next day to see a man standing outside his lab. He was tall with broad shoulders and had a square jaw like Oliver Queen. It almost made Barry a little self conscious.

“Are you the new guy?”

The man looked up and turned to face him. “I’m waiting for Barry Allen.”

“Yes, that's me.”

“Ricky Hall, Sir.” he offered a hand to Barry.

“Oh, right. Uh- just Barry will do.” He shook his hand.

“You're pretty young.”

“I get that a lot. I'm twenty-two.”

“Ah,” he nodded.

“Well welcome to the CCPD. This is the lab, I'm not really used to having a partner.”

“So. Have you always lived in Central city?”

“Yeah, born and raised. Where are you from?”

“I'm kind of a military brat but I was born in Chicago.” he followed him inside.

“Oh. I was in Chicago last year. Interesting City. Cold.”

“Let me guess, it was thirty degrees?” his tone was almost teasing.

“You're funny.”

* * *

Bett arrived at Barry’s apartment around six, bringing with her a large bag of snacks.

“I brought the ice cream this time,” she smiled. “Can I put it in the freezer for now?”

“Yeah. It's right there. I'm finishing up dinner.” he jabbed a thumb in the direction of the fridge while he finished with Grandma Esther's noodle dish.

“I didn't know you were cooking. I would have come by earlier and helped.”

“Don't worry about it.” He replied.

“So.” She started. “What are we watching tonight?”

“I was thinking we could do Singin’ in the Rain.”

“Sounds good!” she smiled and Barry set the dish on the coffee table before grabbing two plates and some forks.

“This is great!” said Bett while she devoured the noodle dish.

Barry was singing the current musical number quietly. “Hmm?”

“The noodles.”

“Oh. I'm glad you like it. It's one of Joe’s grandmother's recipes.”

“Oh that's fun,” she smiled. “I have to be honest though. I'm having a hard time following this movie.” She admitted.

“Oh .. Want to watch something else? I think Iris left her copy of Letters to Juliet here.”

“I've never seen that one.”

He got up and passed her the DVD box for her to read over.

“Seems interesting. Let's see.”

Barry put the DVD in and sat himself back on the sofa.

“Can I ask you something?” said Bett not long after the movie started.

“Yeah?” he looked over at her with a grin.

“Why do you like musicals so much?”

“My mom always said that everything is better in song.” He smiled. “Musicals make just about everything better.”

“Are you gay?” she asked casually.

“Do I have to be gay to like musicals?”

"Well no. I just guessed based on other factors too.You said School was bad for you.”

“‘Wish I was gay.” He mumbled and gave one humourless laugh.

Bett stared at him.

“Oh not like ... literally.” He flushed a little. “Being gay would have been a hell of a lot easier. Central City is pretty open.”

“Then why did you have a hard time at school?”

“Well, I was always a nerd so I was picked on for that at first. Then when I was eleven my mother was murdered.” He wasn't sure why he was opening up to her, but he couldn't exactly turn back now.

Bett reached over and placed a hand on his arm but she didn't say anything, she wasn't sure what to say.

“I was there. It was the impossible. No one would believe me though. So my father is serving a life sentence in Iron heights. Word spread fast, and I was the kid defending his father with an open shut case.”

“I'm sorry, Barry.”

Barry shrugged. “Joe took me in. I don't know where I would be without him and iris.” He smiled a little.

“Joe just took you in?”

“Iris and I have been best friends for years, he knew me and my family.”

“Oh.” She nodded.

Iris came through the door then.

“Where are my boys,” she smiled as the cats came out of the woodwork.

It was easy for Bett to pick up how Barry looked at her when she entered. She wondered how Iris hadn't noticed.

“Barry! Bett!” she said with a smile. “I thought you guys want out.” She looked a bit embarrassed.

“You're going to make the boys fat if you keep sneaking in here and giving them treats.” Barry had to laugh, but he was honestly relieved she was there, and it showed.

“They’re growing cats Barr! They need a lot of treats, but I’m sorry to interrupt.”

“You sound like a mom.” he stuck his tongue out at her.

“You weren't interrupting anything, Iris,” Bett smiled. “Want to join us?”

“Oh no. You two finish your movie.” She laughed a little before heading out.

* * *

“It's your turn to tell me about you,” said Barry.

“There isn't much to tell.”

“There must be something.”

“I'm an artist,” she took a bite of her ice cream. The movie had ended which had allowed them to talk a bit more.

“Oh, that's neat.” he smiled. “What kind of art?”

“I'm a freelance illustrator and graphic designer.”

“That's exciting.”

“Yeah. I got to do a children's book a few months back, that was fun. I also get to set my own hours.”


	5. Birthdays and Science Fairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Warnings: Body image issues, heavy alcohol use
> 
> AN: N/A]

“You're Iris, right?” a deep voice from behind Iris hadngotten her attention. She sat in the crime lab, doing her best to keep her hands to herself and not all over Barry’s lab equipment, she did however tap into Barry’s MM stash that he kept in the bottom drawer of his desk.

Iris turned around and saw the young man who had just entered the lab. She didn't expect anyone to be in the lab. She was waiting for Barry so they could go to Parker's sciemce fair.

“Depends on who’s asking.” She crossed her arms. When she looked him over she hadn't seen a badge or a side arm. She knew just about every officer who worked within in the precinct, if not by name then by face. So who was this guy? she thought, narrowing her eyes slightly.

“I’m Ricky,” he offered a hand. “I work with Barry."

“Oh I'm sorry, I almost forgot he had a shadow now. Cops daughter attitude, you know? How did you guess it was me?” She offered him a small smile as she shook his hand.

Ricky had been working at the crime lab for a few weeks now. Barry had spoken little about him, apart to complain when the younger man touched his stuff, however she could tell that the guy was starting to grow on him.

“It's fine,” he smiled and Iris had to admit that he was handsome, strong jawline and a strong build. “Oh you fit the description. Beautiful girl, stealing his MM’s,” he shrugged with a laugh. "It's nice to meet you. Barry talks about you all the time, I guess we’ll be seeing each other a lot.”

“I think so too. You don't happen to know where Barry is, do you?” she tried not to dwell too much on he identifier.

“Oh yeah… he um…” it appeared to Iris that this man was a worse liar than Barry. “He is--”

“You can give me the real answer,” she laughed, despite herself. “I know everything about Barry, even what he thinks my dad doesn't know,”

“Oh thank god. He’s uh at that crime scene again, where one of those kids were abducted. The most recent one.”

“Why is he there?”

“I don't know if I should say anything… but he's kind of obsessed. He keeps going back to those spots. He asked me not to say anything to the other officers."

“Oh Barry. He knows that there isn't going to be anything left after this long. ” she sighed. “I'll talk to him. Thank you for telling me.”

“No problem. I know you guys are close.”

“We are.” Iris smiled.

“So, tell me,” Iris sat up on Barry’s desk. “Is Barry a good mentor?”

“Oh he's great. I mean he's nice and he definitely knows what he's talking about. So are you guys siblings?” he asked.

“I mean kind of. We’re kind of like siblings. I prefer saying we're like family, though. We've been best friends forever.”

“Okay. It's not my business but people talked around the precinct. Some of the officers said things to me but I don't like to blindly chase rumours,” he explained feeling a bit awkward that he had asked.

“Let me guess, Officer Birde had something to say?”

“Something … Yeah ”

“Hey, listen. Do me favour and just ignore any bullshit that comes out of that man’s mouth,” Iris said, not holding back. “He’s had a grudge against Barry for years.I have no idea why. He's been bullying him since he was eleven.” She swung her legs slightly.

“Noted.” he nodded once. “So, what about you? What are you into?”

“My whole family is kinda into movies,”

“What's your favourite?”

“Casual, or I'm stranded in a desert island?”

“How about both?” he pulled up a chair.

“Okay so casual is definitely Spiderman, and desert island movie is Singin’ in the Rain,” she grinned.

“Why those two?” he crossed his arms casually.

“Well, Peter Parker is a cute guy who zips around the city saving people, and Singin’ in the Rain because it reminds me of home. How about you?”

“So you like nerds?”

“Nerds can be cute I guess. I was distracted by all the crime fighting.” She shrugged. “What about your favorite movies?”

“Probably sound of music,” he admitted. “For both answers,”

Barry burst into the room, panting heavily. It was his usual state, so Iris didn't even blink. That boy was always in a rush.

“Hey sorry I'm late! We have to leave like right now if we want to be on time to watch Parker get first place in the science fair,” he grinned triumphantly.

“Parker?” said Ricky.

“He’s my neighbour’s kid, I helped him with his project because his mom doesn't know much about it.”

“Well that's nice. I'll see you around Iris.” Ricky smiled.

Barry wasn’t good at figuring out when girls were hitting on him, but he could always tell when guys were hitting on Iris. he noticed the air between them without issue.

“It was really great meeting you Ricky!” Iris called as she and Barry headed out.

"Why didn't you tell me Ricky was so hot?” She asked when they got on the bus.

“Because when I saw my shadow was conventionally attractive my first thought wasn't to call you,” he laughed a little.

When they arrived at the school they made their way in just as the judges started to make their rounds.

Parker beamed when he saw Barry and Iris, waving at them excitedly.

They waved back and soon the judges reached his project, which honestly would have been more at home at a middle school science fair or maybe even a high school one.

“You guys came!” He threw his arms around Barry’s middle in a hug. Barry returned the hug awkwardly and ruffled up his hair a little.

“Wouldn’t miss it!” The last time Barry saw someone so happy to see him, it was Iris when he came home from college. It made his day, if he was being honest.

“We're so proud of you!” Iris hugged him. “You worked so hard on this it's going to go great!”

“Thank you.”

As they spoke a woman approached them.

“Excuse me, are you Parker’s brother?”

Barry turned to face her.

“Oh, no.” he shook his head. “I'm his neighbour. His mother couldn't make it so we came out to support him.” he smiled, worried it would be an issue.

“I’m here representing The STEM Youth Academy. Do you know how I could get in contact with his mother?” she asked. “He seems like a wonderful candidate for our scholarship program.”

“Wow,” said Barry. “Of course, let me get you her number,” he pulled out his phone and the woman handed him a pen. He jotted down Heather’s name and number. “Here you go,”

“Thank you,” she smiled. “Your project is very impressive young man.” she told Parker.

“Thank you ma’am.” said Parker with a smile.

“Do you know who that was?” he asked them when she was gone.

“Well I'm guessing it's significant, because you're going about to go nerd mode.” Iris commented.

“That was Gail Herbert. She's the founder of the STEM Youth Academy.” he informed them eagerly. “I was invited to apply when I was around your age, Parker. It's a really good science school. If you want to do science for a job it would be a great school to go to.” he smiled.

“Oh.” Parker seemed neutral about the idea, which confused Barry. He loved science. “I need to find Pat. I think it's too loud in here for him.” he said and headed off to look for his brother.

When they found Pat he was outside the gym in the hall with his hands over his ears.

Iris opened her purse and dug around for a few seconds before she found her over ear headphones.

“Here, Pat.” said Iris softly.

Parker took them and placed them on Pat’s head. “It's okay.” Parker said with a smile and Iris passed Pat her iPod.

Parker took Pat’s free hand to lead him back inside the gym. He came in second place and seemed very pleased with himself. Barry squeezed his shoulders and shook them slightly. "Congratulations! I'm really proud of you! Do you want to get big belly burger or ice cream?” Barry asked.

“Can I see your lab instead?”

“Um.” Barry paused for a second. “My lab is closed right now,” he lied, and Parker wasn't able to detect it. The precinct wasn't really somewhere he wanted to bring a child.

"Okay.”

“Who wants to go bowling?” Iris suggested.

“I’ve never been bowling! It sounds fun.” replied Parker.

* * *

“You should know that I’m kind of the champion of this bowling alley.” Barry said smugly as they arrived.

“Oh you wish!” Iris shoved his arm.

They got off of the bus and started to head down the street to the Bowling alley. It was a small thing,

“Yeah, four. Just one lane, can you put the bumpers up? Thanks, Red.” Barry grinned.

“Okay, now we have to go get our shoes,” he told the boys.

The place was pretty dead, which Barry was for once grateful for. He hoped Pat would be fine.

“Hey Reba,” he smiled, greeting the owner’s wife. She was a tall woman, with curly ginger hair and kind eyes.

“Barry and Iris!” she smiled. “Your dad isn't with you tonight?” she pushed her small glasses a little further up her nose.

"Nope! But we’ve got two Jr. Bowlers.” Barry grinned.

“Well welcome.” she looked down at the boys “What sizes do you kids need?”

"Twelve men’s, six women's, and boys you both wear fives right?”

The boys nodded and they got their shoes.

Barry knelt down in the lane and tied Pat’s shoes for him.

“Are they too tight?” asked Barry.

Pat shook his head so Barry pulled on his own bowling shoes.

Iris sat down at the computer. “What team do you guys want to be on?”

“Can I go with Iris?” Pat asked.

"Parker? How does me and Pat against you and Barry sound?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright buddy. Let's win this,” Barry grinned.

They set up the lanes. Barry and Parker were up first; “Okay buddy, so you have to hold the ball like this--” Barry helped Parker pick up the ball. “You swing your arm back, step forward and let the ball go-- be careful not go cross the line though. You get two tries, then it will be Pat’s turn.”

Iris snapped a picture of them with her phone, a little more discreetly than she usually did. She sent it to Heather with the caption: Bowling We’ll all have to go together next time.

Then to her father: Barry in full dad-mode.

Parker followed Barry’s instruction and the ball tumbled down the lane, hitting the bumpers a few times before knocking down three pins.

“Great job! Now when your ball comes back through the machine you can go again. Watch your fingers though, okay?”

“Okay,” Parker went to the ball return to wait for the ball to come back through.

“This is so fun! My favourite boys at my favourite place.”

“Your favourite boys? Against what competition?” Barry commented with a smirk.

“Oh shut up Allen, and to think I was going to go easy on you.”

“Oh, you're going to go easy on me ?” he chuckled. “Don't get cocky, West,”

Soon it was Pat’s turn.

“Alright, is it okay if I touch you?” Iris asked.

He nodded but didn't say anything, which wasn’t unusual.

Iris took his hand and helped him figure out how to throw the ball. Barry, who definitely noticed her taking a picture of him earlier, took a photo of her with Pat.

He sent it to Joe: Because she probably already made fun of me. Iris as mom-friend.

Joe: You two are something else. You know that?

Barry laughed and slid his phone away.

The boys got really into the game, and Barry and Iris a little too much so. When Barry’s turn was up again, Iris made attempts to distract him, and when Iris’s turn was up Barry grabbed her around the middle from behind, spinning her away from the lane.

“Barry Allen! Put me down!” she squeaked. “I'll bite you again."

Barry laughed and set her feet back on the ground.

“Are you guys hungry yet?” she asked the boys. “They have burgers and stuff here.”

“Yeah.” Pat nodded.

“Alright. How about we get the food and Iris and Parker find us a nice place to sit?” suggested Barry.

While they were in line, Pat spoke. “Is Iris your girlfriend?”

“She’s my best friend. Why?” he smiled.

“You act like Mark’s parents,” he shrugged his shoulders but didnt look at Barry, which also wasn't unsusal.

"Your friend from school?”

Pat nodded. “Yeah. They're always being gross and joking around.”

“What do you mean gross?” asked Barry, amused.

“They kiss, on the cheek. Once they kissed on the mouth!"he whispered the last word.

Barry repressed a laugh. “Wow. Well, I can assure you that Iris is not my girlfriend.”

“You should marry her.”

“It doesn't really work like that,” Barry said, though he didn't exactly feel like he had any business explaining relationships to someone else's child.

“Why? You could have like. infinity kids and you would be good parents so they would all be happy.”

“That sounds like a lot of diapers.” Barry pulled out his phone and texted Joe.

Barry: Hope you like babysitting. Pat decided you get infinity grandkids from me.

Joe: On your salary? That's a lot of diapers.

Barry slid his phone back into his pocket and they ordered food, going to find Iris and Parker.

As they ate, Pat was quiet again.

"Are you doing okay, Pat? if it gets too loud I can take you outside for a little bit.” Barry offered.

“I'm okay.” he replied.

“I heard you guys are going to be nine soon!” Iris dipped one of her fries in some ketchup.

“Yeah!” Parker grinned. “We’re having a party. Are you guys going to come?” he asked Iris.

“We would love to,” said Barry.

* * *

At work the next day, Barry was on his third cup of coffee as he waited for a blood sample to process.

“Hey, Barr. Do you have a minute?” Joe asked coming into view.

“Yeah, I’m waiting on a blood sample. What's up?”

“I know I didn't really react well about the cats …but you and Iris are adults. I hope you know that I respect your decisions.”

“Thanks Joe.” Barry nodded once.

“So I don't want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me.”

“Alright.”

“Nothing you want to tell me?”

“Um… no?” his eyebrows pulled together.

“Well. Okay.” Joe left the lab.

Barry went right back to work, brushing off the very odd exchange.

* * *

Iris was heading up the stairs to Barry’s floor on a particularly sunny morning, her eyes glued to her phone. She glanced up when she heard a grunt.

“Barry?” her eyebrows pulled together.

A little further down the hall, Barry was straining to shove a large plastic wrapped object through his door.

“Oh, hi Iris,” he said, he only stopped to grin at her before taking a step back and pushing again. He was straining and definitely not making any progress.

“What did I miss?” as she drew closer she realised what he was shoving was a large mattress.

“What do you mean?” he panted.

Iris gestured to the bed with a questioning look on her face.

“I'm a grown six foot two man,” Shove. “I can't just,” Shove. “Keep sleeping on a,” shove. “Full.”

“Here, go inside.” Iris suggested.

Barry stopped shoving and moved to the other side.

“Beds have handles Barr.” She reminded him, grabbing the handles on one side.

They were still struggling.

“I think Zach has Tuesdays off,” Iris noted after a minute. “I can go ask him for help.”

“I don't need Zach’s help, I can do it myself.” Barry said seriously and by sheer will he managed to drag the mattress inside the apartment with Iris’s help on the other side.

“What’s your problem with Zach?” Iris asked.

“I don't have a problem with Zach. He's a nice guy.” Barry shrugged. Zach was Barry’s next door neighbor. He was a couple of years older than them and Barry never forgot her comment about him being twice the size of Barry.

“Really?”

"I like him.”

“Then why won't you ask for his help?” She asked as Barry.

“Because.”

“You're being weird,” she sighed, pushing the mattress onto the box spring he had already set up.

“Can we talk about this later?”

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?” he rolled his eyes at her.

"I mean, I want you to tell me why you're so weird about Zack.”

“You're the one being weird about Zack.” he accused. “Zachary Marshall,” he said, mimicking the tone she often used when referring to his high school girlfriend Becky Cooper.

“What, you going to tell me that you got the hots for him too or something?” She teased.

“Oh yeah, I didn't tell you that? I'm going to bring him home to meet Joe just you wait!” he laughed and started to rip the plastic off the mattress with some difficulty.

“Come on Barr.” She opened the fitted sheet that was on the desk and started to put it on the bed.

“I’m an adult, I don't want to have to call in G.I. Joe to come do stuff I can't.”

“Wow Barr, tell me how you really feel.” She teased.

“Whatever,” he sighed and tossed his pillows back onto the bed. “I have to go get a new comforter and a quilt. You want to help me? You'll make fun of me for ten years if I don't get something the matches my walls.”

“Sure. I borrowed my dad’s car.”

When they arrived at the Kohl's on Odgon Avenue they headed inside and Barry grabbed a cart incase they decided they needed something else.

“Don't do it.” said Barry as they passed the men’s section.

“Come on.”

“No. I have never worn one and I never will.”

Iris was already holding up a red bowtie. "Come on! You would look so handsome with one of your cardigans and a bowtie. I think red is your colour.” Every Time they went to Kohl’s, which was a rare event, Iris tried to shove him into a new outfit. Barry found it mildly annoying but sometimes she could convince him.

“I do need a new dress shirt.” he allowed. “Some Central City based actor is hosting a fundraiser for the police force and Singh says I have to be there too.”

“Yes! Come with me.” She pulled him into an isle.

“Dress shirts are so itchy.” he complained.

“Maybe a nice light blue?”

“I don't know it's a fundraiser I think I have to go with white.”

“Okay-” she pulled out two of the of the ‘try on’ shirts and pushed him towards the dressing room.

“You can't just come in here with me.”

“Why not?” she headed into one of the cubicles with him.

They stood in the dressing room in silence for a moment.

“Barr.” She held out one of the shirts to him.

“Maybe I don't need a dress shirt.”

She tossed him the shirt. “We don't have all day Barr.”

“Right.” he somehow managed to catch the fabric before it became a pool on the floor.

“Are you okay?”

“I don't like taking off my shirt in front of people.”

“Why not?”

“I don't know.” he lied, poorly. Iris picked it up right away.

“Barr. When did you stop telling me things?” the edges of her mouth turned down in a frown. “I mean first you're trying to hide your nightmares from me? Then saying you're not afraid of the dark anymore--”

“I'm not afraid of the dark, but I don't like it. Not when I'm alone anyways.”

“Barr. What's wrong?”

“I don't always like how I look.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m kind of insecure.”

“You're eating aren't you?” her gaze washed over him.

“Yes of course. It's nothing like that I just… I feel insecure sometimes. I'm no Zack.”

“Barr. You're not Zack because you're a different person.” She suddenly saw significance his sudden disinterest in going to the pool shortly after starting high school, when he stopped sleeping without a shirt in the summer and all the other little things.

“Yeah.”

Iris kissed his cheek. “I think you're handsome. You know that right?”

He tried to fight the flush in his cheeks. “You're just saying that,” he turned away from her and pulled his t-shirt over his head, throwing on one of the dress shirts as quickly as possible.

“Your arms are so long.” She chuckled, noting how the sleeves came up short a few inches above his wrists. “Try this one on.” She hung the first shirt up behind them. “Also, I am not just saying that.”

“Right.” he laughed.

“This one is perfect.” She smiled. “Turn around.”

He turned to face her and she flattened out the shirt a little.

“You missed the top button.” She reached up and did the last button. “Perfect! Now we know your size.” She smiled. “I can't wait to see you all dressed up for the fundraiser.”

“Yeah.”

“We’re all insecure sometimes Barr. You don't have to be embarrassed.”

“You get insecure?”

“All the time. Have you seen the magazines? Society expects me to be a size zero.”

“You're perfect.” He didn't skip a beat.

“Well, thank you. My point is that I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me about stuff anymore. You're Barry, my adorable nerd and there is nothing that would change that.” She passed him his t-shirt. “Plus, the only people allowed to make fun of you are me and my dad. I will fight anyone else who tries.” She winked.

He looked away and changed back into his t-shirt before heading out He grabbed a white dress shirt in his size and dropped it into the cart.

“Okay, comforters.” he said, heading to the home goods section.

“This grey one would be perfect.”

“Okay.” said Barry, putting it in the cart.

“You didn't even look at it!” she accused.

“I’m not too concerned about what it looks like.” he laughed.

“Fine.”

“Hey, do you want to come to the fundraiser with me?”

“An excuse to dress up? Yes please!”

“This bed is huge ,” said Iris, plopping into it.

“Well, I'm a huge guy."

“So you just bought a bed?”

“Well, no.”

“Are you seeing someone?” she wagged a finger at him jokingly.

“I'm not really interested in dating.” he admitted.

“No?”

“Nope.”

“What happened to getting married and having kids?” she asked, remembering that it was something they had talked about on one of their late night phone calls they had while he was away at college. Barry wanted a family of his own, at least he had just a few years before.

“Maybe that's not for me.” he shrugged. “Anyways. Are you staying tonight? I'm going to get birthday gifts for the boys tomorrow.”

“Oh! Yeah. I found a book called The Superhero Comic Book Kit for Pat. I got him that I need to pick it up from Barnes Noble tomorrow. I'll need your help with a gift for Parker though. All those kids science kits seem a little low level for him.”

“I got him a couple science books from both of us, I have to pick those up tomorrow too.”

“Oh, thanks! I never would have known what to get. Aren't you going to get lonely in this big bed all by yourself?” Iris laid back on the bed, stretching her arms out slightly.

“Nah.” he yawned and turned over on his side. “Why are you so obsessed with my bed?”

“I'm not obsessed with it. I just don't know why you just decided to throw out your bed so soon.”

“Goodnight Iris.” he sang, a small smile pulling at the edges of his mouth.

“Goodnight, handsome.” She mumbled.

Barry felt a warmth in his face but didn't comment on it.

* * *

“Hey, Bett!” Barry stopped his neighbour in the hall.

"What's s up?” She turned to face him.

“I could use a hand with something artsy.”

“Please don't ask me to draw you.” a laugh escaped her lips.

“I wasn't going to?” his answer came out like a question.

“Oh, sorry I was joking. People are always asking me to draw them.”

“That must get annoying. I was actually wondering if you ever work with coloured pencils?”

“That's actually my main medium, traditionally anyways. I also work with digital. How can I help?”

“Well, Pat is really into art and I want to get him some pencils. I was wondering if there was anything more midrange? I'm only really finding Crayola or super fancy brands that I can't really afford, nor feel comfortable shoving into the hands of a kid this young.” he laughed.

“There are definitely options for you. I actually have a project to finish for a client tonight but how about you come by tomorrow. If you want I can show you the box of my old student grade pencils that I never really used. If you get Pizza I'll just give you a set for him.” She offered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. They’re not getting any use and selling them would be a hassle.”

The next morning Barry pulled out his phone and texted ‘B’ because he admittedly had no idea how to spell Bett’s name and he somehow hadn't gotten around to asking her.

Barry: Hey, does noon work for you? I'll bring pizza.

B: Sounds great!

Barry headed over to Bett’s around noon with the pizza. Bett let him in and they sat down at her kitchen table.

“So, how long have you been doing the art thing?” he asked casually.

She paused, doing some math in her head. “Oh man … I started getting serious when I was about twelve. I'm twenty-three now so close to a decade. I started taking amateur commissions when I was sixteen.”

“Oh wow,” he smiled. “that must have been an adventure. Can I see some of your stuff?”

“Oh yeah!” she got up and went to wash her hands. Once her hands were clean she headed over to the living room and pulled out a file.

“I mainly do fantasy illustration.” She pulled out a large illustration of a green western dragon.

“Oh wow.” he looked it over. “This is really neat!”

“Thanks,” she laughed. “So. Pencils. I have about four sets of student grade pencils that would fit what you're looking for.” She disappeared again and when she returned she had three small tins of coloured pencils and one larger one.

“Well these are some of the Student series by Pigmite. I used them all through college.” She showed him the first box. “Then there's the Deeson Colourwashes. This is a set of thirty. Though they're not my favourites. I only used these ones a few times.” She stacked up the larger box. She showed him the other suggestions. “How old did you say Pat was?”

“He’s going to be nine in November.”

“Then I would mostly recommend either of the first two I showed you, the others I showed you have much softer cores and kids tend to have a heavy hand.”

Barry nodded “I'll probably give him the Pigmite ones if that's fine.”

“Absolutely! You brought the pizza so you kept up your side of the deal. You actually just reminded me that my current set has some colours that need replacing. I'll have to call my guy.”

“You have a guy for that?”

“Yup! I didn't just move to Central City without a plan.”

Barry thought for a second, maybe this was his chance to get to know her more. Like Iris wanted. "Why did you pick Central City? I mean this is an amazing city and I love it, but sounds like you could have gone anywhere.” admittedly, he wanted to get to know her too.

“It was the farthest from Cost City that I could afford.” She replied and her tone ended the conversation about the topic.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry.”

“No it's okay.” She smiled. “I could give Pat a few lessons too if he’d like.”

“He would love that. He wants to do comics.”

“I worked on a comic once! That kid has ambition.” she sounded impressed. they spent the rest of the afternoon looking through Bett's old work.

* * *

“Hi Barry!” grinned Ed Hardy. One of the security guards at iron heights. “You haven't been in for a while.”

“Hey. Yeah life has been crazy.” he replied before heading into the room. The guards liked Barry, though most of them took pity on him. He was the only one in there, to his surprise.

“Hey dad,” he said when both him and his father picked up the phone.

“Everything alright, son? You haven't been in for a while.”

“Yeah, everything is good.” he smiled. “I've just been so busy. My neighbours kids are kind of a handful and I have to go to this fundraiser with thing with Iris.” he chuckled and pressed a photo to the glass of him and Iris with the boys.

“Oh they're cute.” he smiled.

“How are things with Iris?”

“Really good. Kind of … different, but good.”

“Did you finally tell her how you feel?”

“What do you mean?” Barry tried to feign innocence, but he couldn’t fool his dad.

“Oh come on. You're my son. You think I don't notice when you're in love?"

“It's not like that… but sometimes I feel like it could be you know? It's confusing.”

“You need to peruse her.”

“I can't.” Barry replied simply, shutting down the topic.

“Alright. Tell me about the boys then.”

“Pat is the older Twin, he’s the quiet artist type, then Parker is very intelligent. He got invited to apply to the STEM academy but he doesn't want to.”

Henry nodded, listening to Barry catch him up on the last few months.

“Iris has been staying with me a lot.” Barry admitted after a bit. “Last May she stayed with me for a week, then she stayed with me again … she started staying every other weekend and now I feel like she's always at my place.”

“You guys sound happy.”

“I don't know, things feel different.”

“Time is up.” He heard a guard say after a bit.

“I'll see you next week dad. I love you.”

* * *

Barry had tried to not notice that things with Iris were changing. He didn't want to let himself hope but he was starting to. Staying over every other weekend had turned into every weekend, and sometimes she stayed until tuesday. She was also spending more time over there even when she wasn't sleeping over.

Like today, Iris was laid on her back on the sofa. The orange tabby was curled up just under her breasts as she played a game on her phone.

This was why he bought a bigger bed, the full wasn't big enough for the both of them. “Do you ever leave, West?” Barry teased, coming in from the back door with a bag of laundry slung over his shoulder.

“That's not very welcoming!” she accused.

“I have to get ready for the fundraiser.”

“Ya. Go hurry and get ready I have to shower after you.”

Barry sighed and disappeared into his room to grab some clothes to throw on after his shower. Iris pretended she couldn't hear him singing. She liked it though. She noticed that this year he had been singing more and she loved it.

She felt at home like this, with the cats and Barry singing where he thought she couldn't hear over the water.

When he came out of the bathroom he was dressed in his slacks and his new dress shirt.

“You're up, West.” he teased.

When Iris emerged from the bathroom thirty minutes later Barry stared at her, unable to say anything. She wore an off the shoulder red dress and her hair fell over her shoulders in brunette waves.

“What? Should I change?” she asked, his gaze making her cheeks hot.

“No.” he cleared his throat. “No you look amazing.”

“Thanks Barr.”

“I just need to choose my tie.”

“I already got that covered.” said Iris, heading over to her purse.

She pulled out a bowtie in a deep burgundy colour.

“Iris, I don't even know how to tie that.”

“I learned online.” She popped his collar up to loop the tie around his neck. When she finished tying it she lowered his collar and brushed at his blazer.

“You look so so great! Dashing. I knew a bow tie would look sharp.” She pulled slightly at the blazer. “Are you ready?”

He nodded.

The event was even more boring than Barry was expecting, which was saying a lot. Iris seemed to be having fun talking with the ladies about their outfits and current events of central city. A girl from the precinct made an attempt to chat him up but it went totally over his head as always.

“Barr.” Iris came to find him after a few hours and just enough champagne to make her tipsy, but not drunk. “Barry.” She smiled stupidly at him.

“What's up?”

“In these heels I’m almost as tall as you.” She said a little too proudly.

He laughed a bit, even in the heels he had several inches on her. “Yeah.” he agreed anyways.

“Can we ditch?” she asked.

“Yeah. I think we've stayed long enough.” he agreed and went to say his goodbyes to Joe and the Captain.

“Lets just walk to the Lounge.” Iris suggested when they finished saying their goodbyes.

“Alright,” he pulled off his blazer, throwing it over his arm as they started to walk to the bar that wasn’t too far from the venue they were at previously.

* * *

By the end of the night they were both a little inebriated, stumbling through Barry’s door around one AM.

“We’re home.” She smiled.

“Yeah.” Barry agreed, pushing down how much he liked to hear her say that. “Do you need a shirt?” he asked her.

“Yes I do.”

He disappeared into his room and undid his bowtie, setting on top of one of his chest of drawers. He started to unbutton his shirt when Iris came into the room behind him. He moved over to she could get to the drawer that held his t-shirts.

Iris unzipped her dress and let it fall around her ankles.

Barry looked away pointedly when be heard her zipper, not that he would be able to see much in the dark.

“You don't have to be so shy ya know. It's just me.” She said, pulling one of his shirts on over her head.

He shrugged out of his dress shirt, facing away from her. Iris tugged his arm and made him face her. He met her eyes and in the dim light he could just make out the grin stretched across her face. Her hands came to rest on his bare shoulders. He didn't pull away, even though part of him wanted to.

“You're so handsome, Barr.” She informed him with a slight slur before he pulled a t-shirt on. He was surprised she had told him that even when she was drunk. He had figured she was just trying to cheer him up all the times she said it before.

Warm satin brushed against her leg and she gazed down to see Well’s form moving in the dark. “Wells agrees with me.” She picked up the cat and scratched under his chin.

Barry passed her a pair of leggings she’d forgotten there a week prior. Once she was in the bed she curled up on her side.

He quickly changed into some pyjama pants before climbing into the bed.

Iris moved across the bed and wrapped her arms around him and her face became buried in his chest. Barry was surprised by this. It wasn't unlike them to get close like this but Iris seem even more clingy than was usual for her.

“Barr.” She mumbled and pressed a kiss to the exposed skin where his neck and chest met.

“Hmm?” he closed his eyes.

“You're my favourite person.” Her hand knotted up in his shirt.

He also unsure of how he was supposed to react. They were both intoxicated, but they weren’t really doing anything wrong; he was torn on how to respond to her affection.

After a few minutes he sighed and wrapped his arms around her.

“Do I have to go home tomorrow?” she asked against his chest.

“Have I ever kicked you out before?” he laughed, a deep rumbling laugh that shook them both.

“I don't like leaving. I get lonely without you.” her forehead was pressed into his neck now as she moved and got more comfortable.

“It gets lonely here too, but you know that.”

“Move back to the house. So I can see you every day.” She grinned.

“You need to lay on your stomach Iris, you're really drunk.”

“Ugh.” She complained but instead of moving over she situated herself on his chest almost fully face down, so he gave up and hoped she didn't get sick. One hand came up and brushed her hair back.

“I love you, Iris.” he said quietly.

“Aw! I love you too, Barr. We're always going to be best friends.”

“...Yeah.” he replied before they fell asleep.

 


	6. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Barry's heart gets broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops... my hands slipped?  
> Sorry Barry.  
> PLEASE check the new tags.

Iris awoke the following afternoon and groaned, Barry was already awake. He held his phone in one hand as he scrolled through Facebook.

“What time is it?”

“Noon.”

“Oh great.” She mumbled. “Why am I laying on you?” she looked up at him but didn't move.

“I told you that you had to sleep on your stomach and you turned over onto me instead of onto the your side of the bed,” he glanced down at her.

“It’s all your side of the bed it's your bed.”

Barry looked momentarily embarrassed. “I got this bed because you’re here so much-- I figured you'd eventually get tired of sleeping on me. Guess I was wrong.”

“Shut up, I was clingy-drunk I guess.” She rolled over onto her side with a deep groan. “Moving was a terrible choice.”

“I’m not complaining. You can use me as a pillow whenever you want. How's your head?”

“Split in half, thanks.”

Barry stood and disappeared into the front room. When he returned he had a glass of water and a bottle of Advil in his hands. He offered them to her with a smile.

“Have I ever told you how annoying it is that you're a morning person?” she asked. Iris had always been more of a night owl while Barry had always been an old man. Early to bed and early to rise. His usual idea of a late night was midnight.

“Only about a million times."

Iris accepted the pain medication and chugged the glass of water. “Thanks for putting up with me.” She set the glass on the nightstand.

“I think you're picturing a worse version of what actually happened.”

“I don't want to get up yet.” Iris groaned quietly into the pillow.

“Well I'm not going you kick you out.”

“No you're not but I'm going to need my human pillow.” She reached out towards him groggily.

“Oh uh, okay.” he slid back under the covers and Iris moved back to lay close to him.

“You're pretty comfortable.”

“Thanks.” he laughed and shyly he reached out to brush her hair back behind her ear.

Iris smiled and closed her eyes. This was definitely new. _It doesn't mean anything._ He told himself as his hand cupped her cheek like hers had when she woke him from his nightmares a few months previously. _Not to her anyways… or did it?._ He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she hummed in responce. “Sorry is that weird?”

“No. I like when you get affectionate, you know?” she told him. “So you really got this huge bed because I stay over all the time?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Well,” she rolled over onto the other half of the bed. “I do love staying here. Now I have an excuse to stay over more.” she groaned and moved back into place on his chest. “I keep forgetting not to move.”

“Yeah.” he smiled.

“I kinda like laying with you though.”

“Me too.”

“So how annoying was I?”

“You weren't annoying. You just said I was handsome and that you missed me.”

“Well you are handsome and I do miss you. So I guess it's not that bad.”

“I think the worst part of the night was when you ripped off your dress without warning me.”

“Oh god,” She winced. “I'm sorry.”

“I didn't look.”

“Wow, you really are a nice guy.”

“Okay, hold on. I'm _extremely_ concerned if your definition of ‘nice guy’ is ‘didn't stare at a drunk girl changing’.” he frowned.

“Listen, girls meet a _lot_ of skeezy guys in their lifetime.”

Barry’s phone started to ring and he reached over to his nightstand to grab it.

“Hello?”

“Barry? It's Joe. Turn on the news.”

Barry sighed. “Hang on,” he said, grabbing his laptop from the drawer.

There was an Amber Alert for an eleven year old girl. He nearly slammed his laptop shut.

“Do we think it's the same guy?”

“Yes.”

“I'll be there in fifteen minutes.”

“What's wrong?” asked Iris when Barry hung up the phone.

“Another kid was abducted.”

Iris sat up so Barry could get out of the bed.

He stopped at the door and turned around.

“I was… Really enjoying spending time with you.” he told her, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.

Iris nodded “Yeah, me too.” she looked at him like she didn't want him to leave.

He got dressed in the bathroom and left.

When he arrived at the scene Joe was already there, his arms crossed and giving Barry a disapproving look.

“What took you so long?”

“Sorry. Iris and I were a little drunk-”

“I don't want to hear anything else.” Joe held up a hand to silence him. “What can you find?”

 

Barry went to work.

“These tread marks might be new…” he took a photo. “I don't know. These were definitely made by a car but not a truck. I'll keep canvassing the scene and see what else we can find.”

Two hours of searching and still nothing, he headed home, shutting the door behind him. He wanted to disappear for a few hours. He didn't want to admit it but this case was really draining him. He felt useless, but he couldn't do much else.

“Hey Bar. Find anything?” Iris asked.

“No. Absolutely nothing.”

“You’'ll get him. You guys always do. I believe in you.”

“I'm so glad you're here.”

“You ner-!” She was cut off but him throwing his arms around her and holding her tightly against his tall frame.

Taken by surprise, Iris hugged him back; one hand gently cradling the back of his head. Her concern growing greatly.

“What's wrong?”

“It’s just really upsetting not being able to find this guy.” he kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

“What did I do?”

“You're always my biggest fan.” he laughed a little. “You always with me every step of the way.”

“I'm on your side, Barr.” She spoke gently, her hand coming around to stroke his cheek. “Okay? I'm always on your side.”

Barry nodded, his eyes closing at the contact. It was too late, he was hoping. He was too far gone. He _wanted_ this. He wanted them to come home to each other at the end of the day, he wanted her to move in.  He wanted to make a life with her. Every bone in his body ached for that. She was home, and he was starting to believe she could feel the same.

“I have to go see my dad,” said Iris, pulling away. He walked her to the door and they looked at each other for a moment. Iris looked like she was waiting for something. Barry tried to determine if they were thinking the same thing, if she was waiting for him to make a move. A cold claw twisted up inside his stomach and he looked away from her at that thought. He always got so close and that fear would pull him back again.

“I'll see you later.” he managed, his heart nearly thrashing against his ribcage.

“Bye, Barry.” Her expression was disappointed and confused-- and then she was gone.

The side of his fist met the wall beside the door.

“Allen, you idiot.” he scolded himself.

He didn't know how long he stood here, leaned against the wall, but he was pulled from his thoughts by a knock at the door.

He opened it

“Look Iris I’m sorr-” he stopped when he saw Bett in the doorway.

“Oh. Hey Bett. What's up?”

“Can I ask a favor from you?”

“Now isn’t really the best time…”

“It's not until later.”

“Sure. What's up?”

“Do you know what a silent alarm is?”

“I'm in law enforcement, so yes.”

“No, sorry… like a personal silent alarm.”

“Then no, sorry.”

“It’s like… If you don't hear from me by six tonight can you call me?”

Barry’s eyebrows pulled together.

“Bett… Are you in some kind of trouble? I can help you--”

“No, nothing like that. I've got it handled. Can you just call me at six?”

Barry paused, something didn't feel right. He agreed though, he couldn't leave her hanging.

“Of course. I'll call you at six.”

* * *

At six o’clock when Barry didn't hear from her he dialed her.

“Hello?”

“Hey Bett. It's Barry. Everything okay?”

“Oh I didn't leave you the key? Sorry babe! I'll come home now and let you in.--” she held her hand over the phone but Barry could still hear her. “--Sorry dad. I forgot to leave a key for my boyfriend… Who is he…? His name is Liam, he’s officer at CCPD, dad… Thanks--” she spoke directly into the phone now. “On my way.” She ended the call.

Barry sat outside his apartment, waiting for her.

About a half hour later she appeared on the stairs, Barry was leaned against the wall.

“Barry?” she asked when she saw him. He pulled away from the wall and his hands came out of his pockets.

"Are you okay?” he asked, glancing her over.

“I'm fine, thanks.” she replied but she didn't look it. Her eyes were rimmed with red and she didn't meet his eye, something Barry noticed right away. “Do you need something?

“I needed to make sure you were okay.” he stated, his tone came off like he was staying the obvious.

“That's all?”

“Unless you'd like to draw me?” he suggested teasingly.

“Ugh. I’d gladly draw you to get out of that mess.”

“Want to talk about it? You don't have to, but I'm pretty good listening or just being furniture. Or, my third talent is talking about science until you throw things at me.” he grinned

“If you don't mind me nose deep in work… I would like that.”

Soon they were in her living room, Barry on a chair next to her computer chair as she worked.

“My dad isn't exactly father of the year.” Bett began as she started to cell-shade a female knight with long, apple red hair.

“I guessed. What did he want tonight?”

“He wanted to talk, but I always let myself forget that to him that means awkward silence or pretending to give a shit about me.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's my own fault.” she shrugged.

“What are you drawing?”

“This is a cover for a children's book about a female knight who rescues a prince.”

“Well, it's really good.”

“Thanks. Hey do you think I could steal your cats for an afternoon?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“A client wants there to be cats in this book, but somehow, I have never drawn a cat.”

“Oh. Well. Sure. You can borrow them.” Barry was almost having trouble keeping track of the conversation with so many topics being tossed around at once.

“Thanks. My dad is something else. He wasn't always bad though.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. He used to be a decent dad, but them he started drinking.”

“I'm sorry.” he frowned.

“Then came the harder drugs, he started disappearing for days and he got violent. He's clean now but he's never been the same again. All he cares about is himself. So yeah… That's my backstory. I keep enabling my father to break my heart.” she gave one harsh laugh. “I moved to Central City to get away from him but he found me, and I let him take me to dinner tonight.”

“Have you told him to stay away? Has he put hands on you? I can help you get a restraining order.”

“No, he’s never hurt me like that. I don't need a restraining order.” she assured him.

“Alright.” he nodded once. “If you change you mind though, all you have to do is ask.”

“So, your turn. Why do you look so down?” she hit control and S on the keyboard as she finished shading the hair.

“Oh boy that's… That is a really long story.”

“It’s only six thirty.” she pointed out, closing her current file and opening a new one. This one was blank with some text, but Barry wasn't familiar with these types of programs so he couldn't say exactly what was happening or how it worked.

“Well, it's kind of a weird situation.”

“Try me.”

“I've never said this to anyone before and it might be hard for you to understand..."

“I'm not going to force you to talk… but I’m not going to judge you.”

“You need to know that Iris isn’t like my sister. We have never called each other siblings. She only called herself my sister when she met because she didn't want you to be intimidated by our closeness.”

“Okay…”

“I have feelings for her… Romantic feelings...” he admitted, he’d never really said it flat out before, it felt good.

“You're in love with your foster sister?” she was judging him a little, despite herself.

“We’ve never… been like that. There was a me and Iris before my mom died. So ... we’ve never really… looked at each other as siblings.”

“Please rewind and explain from the beginning.”

“Well, we've known eachother since like Kindergarten or something I can't really remember the exact moment we got close, but most of my memories involve Iris. We were best friends and then I got this crush on her… Then my mom died and I had to go live with the girl I had a crush on…”

“That's heavy. What does she think about that?”

“I don't think she knows-- or she might?-- Our relationship is extremely confusing. It's gotten even more messy since May.”

“It sounds like it. Are you just friend-zoned bummed then?” she just finished the line art for a dragon on the page.

“No… things are weird between us right now-- it's like sometimes I feel like she could feel the same way I do. We have these moments but I'm too scared to do anything.”

“Moments?” She started to sketch out a character, erasing it several times and starting over.

“I mean, first of all; she's always here. I got us a new bed because I thought she would be tired of sleeping on me, but a lot of the time she still sleeps on me. I know she's seen me stare at her in my shirts…” he sighed and rubbed his temples. “Sometimes when we look at eachother I feel like she wants the same things I do…”

“UGH!” she exclaimed. “I hate men.”

“ _Sorry_?”

“Not you, this stupid prince.” she clarified. “Can I touch your jaw?”

“My… jaw?”

“Yes.” she pulled up an image on her computer of a man's head and began to trace it in different colours before setting it in the corner of her screen, presumably to look off of.

“I mean… I guess.”

She reached over and ran her hand from under his ear to his chin, her gaze calculating.

“Men in comics are like… sharp? They're either like you or Robert Pattinson they're hard to draw. Princes look more like you.” she said before going back to her picture, completing the prince's head. He looked a lot like Barry, but he didn't complain. “Girls are soft and cute and perfect.”

“As a straight guy I can agree with you.” he laughed.

“Shut up.” she turned to stick her tongue out at him. “I dated a really nice girl in high school. Her name was Maggy. She was adorable. Lipstick lesbian, and she was tiny, like five one. I was six inches taller than her. I loved giving her my hoodies!” she smiled.

“I dated a girl in high school, she was kinda… intense and unhealthy. Had a guy ask me out in college too, nothing came of that though but you probably guessed that. Other than that I've been kinda hung up on Iris.”

“Was she really intense or were you just an asshole teenage boy? I won't judge you, every teenager has an asshole phase.”

“Well, she said some not nice things about Iris. Which was actually why I ended up breaking up with her. She was also a little too clingy for me and got really jealous of like… any girl I talked to, which says a lot because if you knew me back then there were like three girls I talked to ever, and that counts Becky and Iris.”

“Okay that does sound a little unhealthy and intense.”  she agreed.

“I try not to speak badly about her because we were all just kids, you know? I think she really cared about me in a way too.”

“Can you think of any good memories involving her?”

“Well I mean there was the cabin trip of oh-nine.” he shrugged.

“That sounds like an adventure of sorts.”

“Well, Iris and I somehow kept Joe from finding out that Maxwell Stevens’ parents weren't in the cabin when a bunch of us went up there.” he laughed.

“And what happened?”

“Well, before that Becky didn't know I was well… I get a little lost up here sometimes” he tapped his head. “I get nightmares. They used to he really bad and came with flashbacks…. I never told Becky because I was embarrassed. However, I woke up and I had this flashback-- she took care of me and didn't tell anyone. I hope she's happy and grew out of those intense jealously issues. Iris still can't stand her though.”

“A lot of people stay bitter about ex’s. I'm still salty about Robbie Lake.”

“What did Robbie Lake Do?”

“He tried to sleep with my best friend.”

“Yikes. Well that's high school drama for you.”

"This was two years ago.”

“Gross. I don't get guys like that. Like honestly, grow up.” he crossed his arms casually and leaned back on the chair.

“You know, I see why Iris hangs around so much. You're good company.”

“Happy to be here. I've enjoyed getting to know you. However if you kiss me again, I cannot promise not to run away.”

“I learned my lesson the first time,” she held up her hands with a laugh. “I'm surprised you didn't make fun of me for thinking Pat was your son.”

“Okay, _that_ was funny. You kinda looked between us a few times like a doe in headlights.”

“You ve got one of those faces! I was more concerned about you being like thirty.”

“Ah it's the curse of the baby face, am I sixteen or thirty?”

“What is that answer to that?”

“I'm twenty-two.”

“You look sixteen.”

“I get carded everytime I buy beer. The guy at the liquor store does it just to mess with me.”

“That's harsh.” she laughed a little and patted his arm. “Well. I can't look at this book any longer so I'm going to power down my computer. Do you have somewhere to go or are we going to finally watch Grease?”

“I'm always up for watching Grease.”

“Are you going to sing all the songs this time?”

“No…”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

* * *

Barry headed into Jitters on his day off,

“Hey!” Iris smiled. “I'm glad you came in today. Honey.” she said, kissing his cheek.

Barry’s face turned a bright shade of pink.“Y-yeah.” he stammered. “Of course I came to see you. It's my day off.”

The man next to Iris left.

“Sorry. That guy was getting annoying and I'm not allowed to tell guys to fuck off at work.” she sighed "It's ' _unprofessional_ '" she mimicked, probally her manager.

“It’s fine.”  

“Did you need something?”

“No, I just… missed you.” he admitted. “You were right about the big bed getting lonely.” He couldn't stop thinking about the way she called him _honey_ it was an act but it felt good. It spread a warmth in his chest that he tried to ignore.

“I told you! Can I stay over tonight?”

“You know you never have to ask. Hey um… were you going to say something yesterday?”

Iris set down the coffee pot she was holding, Jitters was uncharastically slow that day. “What do you mean?” She asked innocently and it fooled Barry.

“You looked like you were going to say something, then I kinda cut you off and did that thing with your mouth that you do when you're trying to process something. Then you left.”

“Nope. I had nothing to say, did you have something to say?”

“Nope. So we both had nothing to say glad I cleared that up.” Barry ran a hand over his hair in a nervous gesture. “You get off at five right? We can go straight to get dinner if you want.”

“Sounds like a plan. Are you going back to the precinct?

“No, I'm actually completely free the entire day. A rare event.”

“Oh good. I think everyone around here has missed my shadow.” she smiled and it wasn't long until he laughed back into his usual role, catching Iris up on the newest scientific topics.

* * *

Barry and Pat sat in Bett’s apartment on a Sunday afternoon. Pat knelt in front of the coffee table beside Bett as they drew together. Barry watched with a smile on his face as Pat focused intently on his work.

“Done! I drew you.” he smiled and held up the paper towards Barry.

“It looks great, bud!” he was happy to see Pat so passionate about something. It was really helping him come out of his shell. He was talking a lot more than he had been in the past.

“You are doing so well!” Bett grinned. “How about tomorrow we make a comic?” she suggested.

“Can we?” Pat asked excitedly.

“Yes we can. I'll set everything up tonight and tomorrow after school we can make some comics.”

“Okay! I'm excited.”

* * *

Barry sat in his lab, running every test he would think of on the minimal evidence he found at the crime scenes for the missing kids. The floor was wet from where water had leaked in. Warm lips brushed his cheek.

“I think I can smell your hair burning.” Iris teased. “Take a break, I brought lunch.”

Barry took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to ground himself.

“Thanks. I just really need to find this guy before he takes another kid.” he knew he needed to let this go and move on. He just couldn't help himself. He wanted it too much. They would be good together, he thought anyways. There were things that other people couldn't understand but they did.

“Earth to Barry?” Iris grinned and to even her surprise, she kissed his nose.

His face flushed.

“Houston we have a problem.” he made a static sound with his mouth before joining her for lunch.

“How are Pat’s drawing lessons with Bett going?”

“He _loves_ it. I've never seen him so excited about anything before.”

* * *

 “So, tell me about you.” Iris smiled. Ricky had asked her to show him around Central City, and she accepted right away.

“Well. I go to Missouri State, I'm almost and ready to graduate.”

“Did you always want to go into forensics?”

“Not really. My dad _really_ wanted me to have some sort of public service job but I'm not really into that. I picked something that would please both of us.”

“I know all about meddling parents,” she sympathised. “My father is the opposite though. He refused to let me anywhere near the police academy-- stopped talking to me for weeks when I tried.”

“Really? Detective West seems pretty chill.”

“Are we talking about the same man?” -- Her phone started to ring. “I'm so sorry. Do you mind if I take this really quick? I just need to tell her I'm out.”

“Not a problem.”

Iris stood and stepped away from the booth.

“Hey Bett. Listen I kind of have a date--”

“Iris? Something is going on with Barry.”

“What's wrong?”

“I found him outside the building-- I don't know. I've never seen him like this before. He said he couldn't talk about it-- but he's really torn up. I don't know what to do. I think something is really wrong. I wouldn't call you if it didn't look bad.”

“Okay. I'll get there as soon as I can. Thank you for calling me.”

Iris ended the call and called Barry to let him know she was coming. Then she made her way back to the both.

“I'm so sorry. There’s a family emergency, Barry needs me. I need to go.” she really did feel bad, she was having a good time with Ricky but Barry needed her.

“I understand,” he gave her a small smile. “Let me give you a ride, ok?”

“You don't have to.”

“I want to.”

When they were in the car Iris looked at him.

“Most guys get weird when I run out on a date because Barry needs something,” commented Iris.

“Why?” he scrunched up his face.

"They get intimidated by our closeness.”

“I don't mind. I understand that family comes first.” he shrugged.

She gave him directions to Barry’s apartment.

When they pulled up she looked over at Ricky.

“Can we rain check?” Iris asked.

“Absolutely. Does next Friday night work for You?”

“Yeah.” replied Iris, and she kissed him on the cheek before disappearing into the apartment complex. As she reached her floor Iris’s phone started to ring again. It was her father.

“Dad?”

“Hey Iris. Could you check on Barry tonight or tomorrow? He had a rough day. He won't talk to me but I'm sure he'll talk to you.”

“Three steps ahead of you dad. I'm at his apartment. I'll call you later “

 

**Several Hours Earlier**

On a sunny Saturday afternoon, Barry sat against the wall on the balcony, the twins on either side of him as they read the newest issue of Bluejay’s spin-off comic.

Barry’s phone started to ring and he picked up the phone.

“What's up Joe? Hold on. I'm with the twins,” he said, standing and handing the boys the comic book. “I'm sorry guys this is for work. I need a minute.” he told them before heading over to the stairs and out of their earshot.

“Barry, we found one of the missing kids. The first little girl.”

“Then why are you calling me?”

“We need the CSI, Barr.”

Barry hung up the call.

“I have to go.”

“Are you going to fight crime?” asked Pat.

“Yes.”

“Pat. He doesn't fight crime. He's a forensic scientist.” Parker informed his brother.

“He kinda fights crime!” Pat argued with his brother. “Bye!” he waved to Barry.

* * *

When Barry returned from the crime scene, he didn't even make it up the stairs, he collapsed in the grass towards the side if the building, his legs turning to jelly and giving out under him as he began to wretch, vomiting into the grass as hot tears fell down his cheeks.

He had been numb the during the entire investigation, perfectly professional, for once. He went back to his lab and filed the evidence he found, doing his best to ignore comments from Birde. He had set samples into the computer without issue, but once he reached his building everything hit him. It knocked the wind out of him and next thing he knew he was on his knees.

“Barry? Barry!” said Bett a few minutes later when she saw him, his fingers gripping the side of the building as is stomach emptied its contents into the grass. “What's wrong?” concern coloured her tone.

Barry’s breathing was jagged as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve. His empty stomach lurched once more. “I'm fine,” he said, trying to pull himself together. This was his job, he had seen bodies before, but this was _different_. This wasn't anything he had experienced before. He knew it would one of the ones Joe always talked about-- the ones that just stayed with you.

Bett managed to get Barry up to her apartment, she offered him a glass of water which he attempted to drink, slowly.

“Do you have the flu?”

Barry shook his head, not saying anything.

“Well, you don't seem drunk,”

He shook his head again, he tried to close his eyes but the images he was trying to shove deep back in his mind flashed behind his eyelids.

“What's wrong?” She asked.

He swallowed, worried he might gag again. “Work stuff. I can't talk about it.”

“Oh,” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder gently. “I'm sorry.” She didn't know what else to say. Barry told her a lot of things over the last few months that she wasn't able to properly respond to because she didn't know how to.

“Thank you for the water,” he said standing, “I need to feed my cats,” he had only really gone with her because felt he wouldn't be able to will himself up on his own.

He made his way across the hall and into his flat. He fed the cats who seemed to sense his distress because after they finished eating they were rubbing on his legs. He moved to seat himself on the sofa.

Both of them came to sit with him, they nuzzled themselves under his hands in an attempt to get his attention. He scratched their heads lightly and made an effort to ground himself but he couldn't stay in the moment.

After a few minutes his phone started to ring. He fished it from his pocket and glanced at the caller ID.

It was Iris so he answered right away. “Hey Iris,” said Barry, trying to sound somewhat normal, but his voice cracked.

“Bett called me,” Iris told him. “She said something was wrong.” concern coloured her tone. “I'm on my way over.”

“No you don't have to, I'll be fine.”

“I don't feel right leaving you alone,” she sounded concerned.

“You can't chase this nightmare away, Iris.”

“I know Barr.” She sighed. “I’ll be over soon, okay?” She wouldn't take no for an answer, she knew him too well.

 

**Present**

 

When Iris got to his apartment it was late but Barry was still seated on the sofa. She had let herself in as always. She wasn't entirely sure what to do for him, she didn't know what he needed right now. Her mind went back to the first night he came to live with her and her father, when he had just laid in her lap and sobbed.

“I won't pretend to understand what's going on in your head or what you saw today...” she confessed softly, carefully reaching out to smooth a hand over his hair. “but I promise I’m right here with you, okay? Same as always. I'm right here with you.”

He didn't respond to her touch so the two friends sat there in complete silence for several minutes.

Iris waited patiently for Barry to either express what he needed or say something.

Barry’s eyes stared, unfocused towards the floor as he tried to figure out what to say to her. At a loss for the words to express what he needed, he laid himself in her lap silently, his eyes closed and his face turned towards her.

“You look nice.”

“You can't see me.” her tone was slightly teasing, she wanted to keep him talking. She had responded like it was second nature; one hand started to comb through his hair the thumb of her other hand swept across his shoulder.

“You were out somewhere, weren't you?”

“It's not important, Barr.”

“It is.” he argued.

“You needed me. It doesn't matter where I was.”

“It was so bad, Iris.”

“I know Barr.”

“She was younger than the boys.”

“I know, Barr.”

“I think I'm going to go see them tomorrow ...I finally understand those days when we were kids, when Joe would just come home and hug us.”

“You should get some sleep, it's late.” Iris stood and headed into his room, grabbing a t-shirt from his drawer. When she realised she’d worn jeans that day she decided to just ditch them, Barry’s old shirt was more than long enough. It was warped to the point that it was a bit too long even on his tall frame; it was like a dress on her.

She re-appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame a little with her arms crossed. “I might keep this one,” she mused, trying to get some kind of response from him.

“You can have it.”

“Come on Barr. You should try to get some sleep.”

“I can't.”

“Barr. You need to rest. If you have a nightmare you can count on me to wake you up.”

Barry stood and headed over to her, he hugged her tightly, pulling her close to his chest. She had to stand on her toes slightly to return the hug. Her fingers wrapped into his hair hair and gently held him against her shoulder.

Neither of them said anything until he pulled back seconds later, he knew the morning would be easier to face with her. Getting to the morning would be the hard part. He didn't meet her eyes when the seperated.

“I got you, Barr. You're not alone with this.” she smiled a little in what she hoped was a reassuring manner. She hadn't seen him like this in a long time. It wasn't exactly as bad as when he lost his mother but it really wasn't far off.

Soon they were both under the covers, on different sides of the bed. Barry faced away from Iris but eventually he reached out and tangled his fingers with Iris’s. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze in response. He squeezed back. They understood each other perfectly in that moment. _I'm with you._

 

By morning, Iris had only woke Barry up once, around three AM from a particularly rough nightmare he had mumbled something about a sketchbook before falling back to sleep. That was several hours ago, now they were both awake now, waiting for Barry’s cursed alarm.

They didn't know what to say, but they also figured they didn't need to say anything.

“Thank you.” said Barry after a bit.

“I'm always on your side, Barr.”

He just nodded and tightened his grip on her hand slightly.

 

When Barry arrived to work he didn't waste any time; he went straight to his office to see if the DNA they gathered from the crime scene was finished being processed yet. It wasn't. He felt frustrated but he knew this would take time, forensic science wasn't magic.

“Hey Barr.” Joe greeted him carefully.

Barry didn’t notice, he was going over the case file again.

"I talked to Iris last night,” Joe continued. “Barr.”

Barry’s head snapped up. “Huh?”

“I talked to Iris. How are you holding up?”

“Fine.” Barry said quickly.

“You know the psychologist would be happy to--”

“I said I'm fine Joe.”

“Okay, Barr.”

The computer beeped and Barry headed over to the computer.

“Damnit!” he groaned, his fists hitting the table.

“What a wrong Barr?”

“His DNA isn't in our system.”

“Who’s?”

“The suspect. We found DNA at the crime scene and it has to be his but There’s no match in our stupid system.”

“Calm down Barr. We’ll get him.”

“Yeah calm down.” said Birde, coming into view. “I'll have him in no time.”

“I just hate sitting around. I can't finish the report until this case is closed.” He wanted to yell at Birde but he held his tongue.

“You sure you don't want to talk?”

“I don't want to talk. I’m going to run it through the system again.”

Joe frowned and hovered for a few seconds before accepting that Barry wouldn't talk. He patted his shoulder and headed back downstairs. He pulled Birde away as well.

 

At around five when he got off work, Barry was standing at the Codwell’s door with Iris by his side. He was friends with the family but he wasn't _their_ family. Barry couldn't tell if he was crossing a line. Usually they stopped him to read when they saw each other around the building, or if their mother was working late, she would ask, there were also the times when Heather came by for coffee. He had never gone to ask to see the twins before, he was always asked never the other way around.

“Oh, hi Barry.” Heather smiled, but she paused when she saw that Barry wasn't sporting his usual grin.

“I um,” Barry started with a small smile. “I'm sorry if this is inappropriate, but I was wondering if the Parker and Pat would like to read today? If that's okay with you. I got a new issue of the series that Pat really likes.” he held the comic in his hands carefully as not to bend it, and his hands trembled slightly.

Heather glanced at Iris, hoping to gain some insight into the situation. It wasn't that she minded by any means, she was always glad that Barry and Iris willing to help out with the boys. They didn't exactly have any positive male role models in their life at the present, she had been wary at first, as any mother would. She however, grew to love Barry as much as her boys did over the last few months.

Iris kept her eyes on Barry, leading Heater to indicate that something was going on.

“They're working on homework right now but you can help them with that if you'd like,” she smiled warmly at him. “Iris and I will catch up.” she suggested, inviting them inside.

Barry went to help the boys with their homework and the women went into the kitchen where Heather made coffee.

“Is Barry okay?” She asked. “He looks like he's carrying something heavy."

“Have you seen the news yet?” asked Iris.

Heather nodded. “That poor girl. Terrible world we live in.”

“Barry was the first CSI on the scene,” she started, brushing some of her hair behind her ear . “I was with him all night. It was his first really bad case, he's only been on the force for about a year and a half. He’s seen some gun violence-- because that's what you get in the city-- but never anything like this.”

Iris could remember Barry disliked gunshot cases the most. He had always said he found shuffling around for bullet casings to be tedious. She always wondered how he didn't find it depressing. He had once told her that he could hide behind the science most of the time and it helped him deal with it, but she was sure it affected him.

“Oh dear.” She frowned. “I couldn't imagine doing what he does every day.”

“Yeah.” Iris stared down at her coffee. “The boys seem to really like Barry.” she tried switching the subject to something more casual.

“Oh they adore him,” Heather smiled. “I have to make an effort to keep them from knocking on his door just about every day.”

“He really cares about you guys. I do too. He told me he wanted to see the boys first chance he got.”

 

When the boys were done with their homework they got through the comic.

“Barry, why are you sad?” asked Parker.

“I'm not sad.”

“Yes you are. You aren't doing the voices today.”

“I'm had a really long day yesterday, I'm very tired.”

“Did you see a body?” asked Pat.

“No, I didnt.” he lied.

"Okay boys,” started Heather. “It’s almost time for bed, say goodnight to Barry.”

The boys stood from the sofa the three boys sat on.

“Goodnight Barry. Will you read with us again next week?” asked Pat.

“Sure.” he smiled.

* * *

Barry ran a hand through his hair as he leaned against the counter at Jitters. It was yet another slow day.

 _Just ask her._ He pushed himself inwardly. _Ask her to move in with you. It's not that hard. She practically lives with you anyways. It won't freak her out. This is probably what she wanted. Come on just_ **_ask her._ **

“Oh, hey, Barr. I wanted to ask you something.” Iris knocked him from his thoughts just before he could open his mouth.

“Yeah?”

“So I got dinner with Ricky a couple days ago, it was just me showing him around the city-- but he wants to take me on a date-- I mean I know you wouldn't want to dictate who I date-- but is that going to be weird for you? I really like him, but I don't want to like ...do anything to make your job hard.”

Barry’s insides fell cold and hollow, like an icy claw had torn them out. He had made it all up in his head. It was just delusions of grandeur. She didn't want what he wanted.

She didn't want _him_.

“Barr?” Iris waved a hand in front of his face.

“Oh I … He doesn’t technically work with me. He'll be leaving our team eventually so it won't affect me or your dad.”

“That's what I thought, but I wanted to check.” she smiled. “I’m actually kind of excited. He really gets us and isn’t freaked out by how close we are.”

“That's great.” He smiled, but it was fake, for now he had a part to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me writing this chapter vs me posting it:  
> 


	7. The Boys Aren't Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys aren't alright.
> 
> or in which Iris apparently left 375 hair ties and Bobby pins in Barry's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off my fic officially hit 500 hits! Thank you!
> 
> Seconly I may have to take a small hiatus. My hands hurt a lot Dx like the pain radiates up my arm... lol. I'll see how I feel after chapter 8. The story is getting close to a close though. (I hope that doesn't count as a spoiler? But there's only I think.. 3-4 chapters left.)

Barry’s adult life had been going pretty smoothly until now, he thought so anyways. He had the job he’d worked for years to get, he could see his father whenever he wanted. Things were pretty good. They weren't perfect, but they were better than they had been in a long while. What was he supposed to do? The only person that could help him feel better is Iris. He felt silly, but Joe was at work as was Iris so Barry sat at the one place he managed to do most of his thinking, the front step of the West house.

“Are all of those for you?” came a voice from the walkway.

Barry looked up to see Joe, still in his uniform, his hands on his hips.

He had been referring to the four pack of beer on ground beside his foster son. The only one missing sat beside Barry on the porch, empty and long since forgotten.

“Nope,” said Barry. “but you can't really buy individual beers at the liquor store.” he wasn't really one to drink his problems away, but he did often like to have a beer while he thought or just at the end of the day. “Also, Jeremy carded me _again._  I've been going there multiple times a week for two years, he knows me.”

“Alright.” Joe grabbed a beer from the pack and sat down on the step, Barry passed him the bottle opener. “Jeremey thinks he's funny.”

“I thought you were working until eleven.”

Joe popped the bottle open. “It’s almost noon, when did you get here?”

Barry glanced at his watch and frowned. “I'm just going to go with _A while ago_ …” he trialled off.

“Something bothering you?”

“Um,” Barry stammered. he didn't know where to start, the case, and then Iris... How did one tell the man who raised him that he's in love with his daughter? He didn't. He just didn't. There wasn’t a way. “That case is really bumming me out is all. I want to get This guy but he hasn't left us _anything,"_ it wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the entire truth.

“I know you're taking this pretty hard, but you have to try to distance yourself.”

“How do you do it?”

“Time.” he replied. “It's going to stay with you, but it gets easier. However I get the feeling that there's more bumming you out.”

“I should probably go-” his words were cut off by a second voice.

“Oh, hey Barry!” when he looked up he saw Iris. His chest went cold again.

“Hey.” he smiled but he couldn't look at her without feeling stupid all over again.

“Were you waiting for me?” Iris asked.

“Nope, I was --ah-- waiting for Joe.” he looked at Joe. “Thanks for the advice.” he said before leaving.

Iris sat down and took one of the beers he left, glancing at it.

“I'll never know how you guys drink this brand. It tastes like hell. Also, it's just barely noon, so I’m judging both of you.” she screwed up her face.

“Hey, I had a long shift! It’s like midnight for me.” he laughed. “Hey, is everything okay with you and Barry?”

"Why wouldn't it be?” Iris questioned as she tried to think of anything that could have been a conflict between them.

“He sped off pretty fast as soon as you showed up.”

“It's Sunday.” she shrugged.

“Why is Sunday significant?”

“On Sundays Barry goes to see his dad and then goes to do drawing lessons with Bett and Pat.”

“Tell me about this Bett girl again? Is Barry seeing her or?”

“No.” Iris was unable to keep her laugh in. “She kissed Barry once and he ran away. Like, _actually_ ran out of her apartment.”

“Sounds like our Barry.” he chuckled and finished his beer. He knew his foster son had never really been good with women. “I think something is bothering Barry.”

“What? Barry? No. Trust me, he would have told me if there was something more going on.”

“Well, he doesn't tell you _everything_.” Joe pointed out.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you don't just know everything about the boy. It's not possible.”

“Listen, dad,” she crossed her arms. “It’s not like he’d say anything to you about it. If he hasn't told me there probably isn't anything.

“What makes you so sure? We talk about things.”

She scoffed.

“What was that about?"

“You have never created an environment where he could talk to you about things. Nothing important anyways and after how bad you took the whole kitten situation?”

“He talks to me about things… Are we really going to fight about how I parent my kids?”

“No, but I guess we will fight about how I'm the only person in this family who’s ever _really_ believed in him, You even had aunt Sarah thinking he's unbalanced. Have you seen the way she talks to him? Why would he talk to you about _anything?_ ”

“Iris, he lives in a fantasy would with Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster and the men made of lighting. I love him, you know I do, but he's a little lost. He thinks his father is a good guy.”

“Henry Allen _is_ a good guy.” her tone was firm, indicating she didn't want to argue about it.

“He killed his wife in cold blood in front of his son.”

“I never believed that, and I never will.”

“You're enabling him, it's not healthy.”

“Okay, So,  I don't _exactly_ think that there’s a yellow man running around killing mothers. I just believe Barry when he says his father is innocent. If diving into bigfoot helps him cope then I'm fine with it for now-- as fine as I can be.”

“It's not healthy, Iris.”

“Look, I want Barry to be okay more than anyone. It kills me to watch this, but he's not dad, he might never be okay again, he actually said that to me back in May. Eleven years later and he's still having nightmares about Nora, and I can only do so much. I just have to ride it out with him and hope it gets easier. Bigfoot and lighting men help him deal with that, so I let them. Do I want him to move on? Yes, but right now I would prefer him disappearing for the weekend to go find bigfoot over him disappearing to go shoot up or some other way to hurt himself.”

“Iris I didn't mea-” Joe tried to explain but Iris started to speak again.

“No.” Iris cut him off. “I have been fighting with you about Barry for a decade and I am _tired_.” Iris headed inside the house without another word. She was not going to sit down and argue with her father about Barry again. It wasn't going to happen.

* * *

 When Barry arrived at the Codwells apartment an hour later, Heather answered the door.

“Hi Barry. Pat says he didn't feel up to drawing today.”

“Are you sure?” his concern was rising.

“He just decided recently that he didn't want to anymore. I'm kind of worried.”

“I could try to talk to him.”

“Sure.” she turned and called into the house. “Pat honey? Barry is here.”

Pat appeared at the door.

“I don't want to draw.”

“Do you want to talk to me about it?”

The boy shook his head but didn't say anything.

“Okay buddy, but you can come get me if you want to okay?”

Pat nodded and went back inside.

“I don't know what's going on with him.” She sighed.

“If he tells me anything I'll let you know.”  


He headed over to Bett’s then, knocking on the door.

“Hey boys,” she smiled, opening the door. “Where's Pat?” she peeked behind him but found no trace of the child.

“He didn't want to come.” Barry stuffed his hands into his pockets. “He won't tell anyone why.”

“That's too bad. I was looking forward to showing him my fine liners.” she crossed her arms. “He just doesn't want to come?”

“He wouldn't even talk to me about it right now. I hope he decides to eventually.” said Barry.

“Well, I’m glad you're here! I have a gift for you.”

“For me?”

“Yeah come here,” she pulled him inside and shut the door. “I had to do some scheming with Iris but I hope you like it!” she started to shuffle around in her portfolio. She pulled out a small matted image, no larger than a standard picture frame.

“I finally finished that children's book, and I never thanked you for lending me your cats,” she passed him the printed digital painting.

He picked it up, printed on the page was a digital painting of Barry holding Wells and Bohr seated on his shoulders.

“Oh wow, you did this? It's amazing.” he smiled.

“If you don't have room for it I can just send you the digital file.”

“I'll _make_ room for it.” he insisted. “There’s a beam behind my desk in the lab I can lean it right up there.”

“You like it?”

“I love it.” he grinned.

“Oh good. This is the style I like to paint in the most, but I usually end up doing children's books.”

“Well, it’s great.”

* * *

Ricky was partially leaned up against one of the desks in the lab, a clipboard in his hands.

“Ammonia?” he asked.

Barry picked up the bottle and checked it. “Nope. Good on that.”

Ricky marked it off and listed off another chemical.

Barry picked it up. “Yes, we need more.”

“Ricky, how about you go… somewhere else.” Joe suggested, Barry hadn't even noticed him come in.

“We’re doing inventory, Detective.” Ricky argued, looking over the list again.

Joe held out his hand for the clipboard. “I'll make sure it gets done.”

Ricky handed over the clipboard with a ‘yes sir’ before disappearing out of the crime lab.

When Joe was site that Ricky was gone, he glanced at the inventory list. Joe squinted, half the things on the list didn't look like they were in English. Not to Joe anyways.“Ah- Aluminum sulfate?”

“We have that… What’s up Joe?” he asked hesitantly.

“Di-hydr-ogen-- dihydrogen-- monoxide?” Joe raised his eyebrows. “That doesn't sound fun.”

Barry stepped off the half ladder he stood on, one arm wrapped around his middle as he tried to stifle the fit of laughter that wracked his entire being.

“What's wrong with you?” Joe raised his eyebrows.

Barry crossed the room and crossed the chemical off the list, scribbling in the notes section for the inventory guy _You’re gonna kill me, Ted!_ He managed to compose himself after a few seconds.

“Dihydrogen monoxide is often used as a fire retardant and can cause death if inhaled.” Said Barry in a faux serious tone.

“That's terrifying. Why do we keep that here?”

“Joe, it’s water.”

“Nerd.” he rolled his eyes.

* * *

“Well, inventory is done. Did you need something?” he sat down at his desk.

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

“What do you mean?” Barry was surprised by his sudden seriousness.

Joe set the clipboard down.

“Iris was saying that I haven't created an environment where you could… talk to me about things. Important things.”

“I talk to you,” he shrugged. “not sure why Iris thinks that.” he shoved the inventory sheet into its envelope. “I'll talk to her about it… I'm sorry.”

“I don't want you to apologise to me, Barry. Did you tell her you don't trust me?”

“I think she's just on edge, things are rough.” he tried to think of a time recently where he had said anything about Joe and came up empty.

“Yeah.”

“Without you I don't know where I’d be. Thank you.”

“I'll see you at family dinner tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. You've skipped enough of them.” he laughed and patted his shoulder before heading out.

* * *

At the West house on a Friday evening, Iris was fumbling about in search of her purse. She knew it was in the living room the last she saw it but it seemed to have vanished.

“You look nice, where are you going?” Joe asked as he came through the front door.

“I'm going on a date.” Iris smiled.

“Oh. Remind Barry not to skip family dinner tomorrow.” Joe headed into the kitchen.

Iris made a face briefly. “Just text him."

“Well, while you’re out there you can remind him.”

“I’m not going out by Barry’s.” she laughed, surprised by her fathers assumption.

“Then who are you going on a date with?”

“Who did you think I was going on a date with?” Iris’s eyebrows pulled together.

“I thought you and Barry were dating.” he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“Barry and I are _not_ dating.”

“You kinda are. A little bit.”

Iris stopped and set down the couch cushion she was looking under.

“Okay, how can two people be dating, but only ‘a little bit’? for starters.”

“I didn't think that was possible either until I saw how you and Barry have been lately.”

“How on earth did we give off the impression that we were dating?” she demanded.

“I’ve got these two things called eyes. You're practically an old married a couple.”

“It's… Not like that.”

“Who are you going out with?”

“Ricky.” she found hee purse and hey keys.

“Wait. You’re dating the trainee?” he asked as he re-appeared in the living room.

“I'm going on _a_ date with the trainee. We aren't dating. One date doesn't mean I'm dating him.”

“I think you and Barry need some boundaries.”

“What do you mean?” she crossed her arms. She didn't have time for this, she was going to be late.

“You know what I mean.” he gave her a knowing look.

Iris made a gesture for him go continue.

“Come on Iris. Do you see your aunt Sarah coming over here almost every night for a sleepover? You practically live with Barry.”

“Aunt Sarah lives in Alaska.” replied Iris, her lips forming a hard line.

“You know, nevermind. I'm not touching this,” he put his hands up. “You're an adult, you can figure out this mess all on your own.”

* * *

Barry headed out onto the balcony with his laundry but stopped when he saw something down below.

The boys were out on the grass; but they weren't alone. They were talking to a man Barry didn’t recognize. He knew their father wasn’t in the picture, and it seemed they didn't want him to be either. Something cold passed through Barry’s bones and he put down his laundry bag, making his way down the stairs, he approached them.

“Hey guys,” he said with a smile, trying to appear calm. On the street he could make out the bumper of a red car. He had a view of the license plate, which he mentally noted. “Iris is making brownies. Why don’t you go help her?” he suggested. “Make sure you remind her that her dad is coming over nine,” he gave the boys a reassuring smile.

“But I want to talk to your friend about Bluejay.” as soon as the words left Pat’s mouth Barry felt sick. This guy said he knew Barry? A cold feeling washed over him again.

“Iris is waiting for you.”

Parker seemed read the situation, he was very perspective.

“Come on Pat,” said Parker. “I want brownies,” He took his brother’s hand.

The two boys headed up the stairs and Barry had to stall this guy. He knew he would either try to run or act innocent, he was hoping for the second.

“Bluejay huh?” he started.

“Yeah, been a fan since I was a boy,” replied the man.

“Me too. My dad used to read them to me,” _Come on._ He thought desperately as he waited for any sign of the CCPD. When the boys told Iris that Joe was coming she would have called them and he didn't live far from the precinct so it was only a matter of time.

“I should-”

“Have you read the new issue? The one that came out with this week.”

He strongly considered attempting to perform a citizen's arrest, but that was a slippery slope even if he managed it on the guy, who definitely looked stronger than Barry. Plus if _one_ bad judge decided there wasn't enough evidence of a felony being committed Barry would be in trouble.

“Not yet. I'm about a year behind.” he shuffled his feet a bit,

Barry managed to keep the back and forth up for about fifteen minutes by some miracle.

He put his hands on his hips, his sweatshirt pulling up past his CSI badge slightly, Barry didn’t notice, but the man did.

He whipped back and his fist collided with Barry’s nose and pain shot through the centre of his face.

Barry staggered back, his hand flying to his face. It came back bloody. When Barry was still processing his next move he was struck again and the man was running. However he was somehow almost as slow as Barry who ran clumsily after him down the sidewalk, falling behind a bit.

Sirens echoed in the distance as he pressed forward. Barry made a move to grab him when he got close enough, but in a happy accident, Barry tripped over his own feet, which sent his body slamming into the suspect, knocking them both to the ground and sending the suspect’s face skidding slightly on the pavement.

Barry tried to catch his breath as he heard car doors slamming.

* * *

 “What the _hell_ were you thinking Barry Allen?” Joe demanded. “I can't believe I'm having this conversation with _you_. You know better. This guy could have had a weapon! You are _not_ a cop. You are a CSI-- barely! What happened to running away?”

Joe paced in front of the old wooden chairs in the precinct where Barry and Iris sat; Iris carefully wiping the blood from under Barry’s nose.

Barry winced when she pressed the ice to his eye gently.

“Dad.” said Iris firmly. “Calm down.”

“I will not calm down. You got yourself hurt! You could have been _killed_.” Joe was nearly shouting now.

“What was I supposed to do?” Barry demanded. “Just let all that happen? Then let him get away to kill another kid?” he winced slightly as Iris accidently touched one of the still-forming bruises on his face. “I took this job to help people.”

“You are _not_ a cop. You call us and you wait. _That_ is what you do. You do not have the training for this. Not to mention you could have lost your job? Been charged with assault?” He threw his arms up in frustration. “I just thought you knew better than this!”

“I was within the law! Also, _he_ assaulted _me,_  I have the upper hand here. I attempted a citizen's arrest because he was committing a felony-- Kidnapping is a felony.” he took the ice from Iris with a quick ‘thanks, but I got it’. “I went to the police academy too,” he reminded Joe.

“Dad can you stop? Barry and the boys are okay, officer Mendes got the guy. Let's focus on that and stop yelling.”

“The evidence of that on paper is what? Your word? A couple of kids who didn't even realise what was happening?”

“My busted face is pretty decent evidence that he attacked me!” Barry nearly shouted, visibly tensing. “He realised I was on the force and he hit me.”

“Barry.” Iris sighed.

“I need to go check on the boys.” Barry stood from the chairs and headed over to the Captain’s office where the boys sat, they didn't seem to keen on talking to the Captain, about anything.

“Are you guys okay?” he asked the boys.

“Why are you bleeding?” asked Parker and Pat just stared at Barry’s face.

“Their mother is on her way,” said Singh.

“I know.”

“Have you given your statement yet, Allen?”

“No. Chyre is going to after he finishes something from another case.”

“Right.” said Singh.

“What's going on, Barry?” asked Parker. “Why won't they tell us what's wrong?” the boy seemed visibly distressed.

“We will, buddy, I promise. It's just kind of hectic right now.” he patted Parker’s shoulder a little.

“You know these boys, Allen?” the capital asked, crossing his arms and sitting back partially on his desk. His eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“Yes sir. Iris and I look after them sometimes. We’re neighbors.”

“Did you notice the suspect hanging around before?”

“No sir.”

“Pat is anxious.” said Parker suddenly.

“Is it too loud out there, Pat?” Barry asked.

Pat nodded once.

“Can I close this door? Pat has sensory sensitivities.”

Singh nodded once and Barry shut the door.

“Barry what's going on?” Parker asked again.

“It’s so loud.” said Pat. “I want to go home. Am I in trouble?”

Barry crouched down slightly so he was closer to eye level with the boys.

“Pat, I promise you’re not in trouble. Detective West’s partner is going to ask you about this afternoon sometime after your mom gets here.” Barry started. “Everything is okay, I promise. That guy you saw today, he wasn't my friend-- but Captain Singh and Detective Chrye, who's going to talk to you-- they are my friends. It's okay to talk to them, and Iris is right outside; you'll be able to see both of us when Chyre talks to you.”

“Okay.” said Parker.

“Captain, can either me or Iris wait with the boys?” Barry asked.

“I think that would be fine for now. When is their mother going to be here?”

“Probably another fifteen minutes or so, Sir,”

“That's fine, but when Chyre is ready for you you'll have to leave.”

* * *

“I left work as soon as they called. Where are the boys?” Mrs. Codwell had just entered the precinct, visibly frazzled.

Joe stood from where he had been sitting with Iris.

“They're in the Captain’s office. Here,” he showed her the way across the main room to the office. “Barry. Chyre is ready for you.”

Heather wrapped her arms around her boys tightly and Barry nodded.

“Guys, I have to go talk to my dad’s work partner but this will all be over with soon, okay?”

“I want Barry to stay.” Pat insisted, grabbing Barry’s hand. A surprising action.

“I can't buddy. When all of this is over we can talk about it.” he pulled his hand from Pat's grasp. “I'm right out here, it'll be okay.”

 

Barry excited the Captain’s office, taking a seat in the chair beside Chyre’s desk.

“Alright, walk me through what happened.” Chrye settled down into his chair.

Barry nodded. “Yes Sir.--” he launched into his account of the incident.

“How would he know to say anything about you if you've never seen him?”

“I read comic books to the twins, usually on Tuesdays or Fridays. Sometimes we sit outside, Iris West, Detective West's daughter, will often join us too. He must have seen us.”

“Alright.” Chyre nodded. “So you're close with these boys?”

“Yes sir. We share a balcony. Sometimes Iris and I watch them if Heather is working.”

“Alright.” he glanced over at Iris. “Miss West,” he began, to get her attention.

Iris glanced up. “Yes?” she rose from her seat by the doors.

“I'll need a statement from you as well.”

She headed over to Chyre’s desk.

“What do you need to know from me?” she asked.

“Have a seat and walk me through what happened from your perspective.” he gestured to the chair that Barry had just risen from.

“Okay,” Iris sat down and fidgeted for a brief second. “I had come by Barry’s apartment to bake with him--Sometimes if we have the same day off we bake together--probably not relevant sorry. I should also clarify that I came through the front door, so I didn’t pass the side of the building, I didn’t see anything on my way in.” she was nervous. She’d grown up around police, so being questioned wasn't her concern, messing this up was-- if she could even do that? The last time she’d given a witness statement was-- well never. Not a real one anyways, she could briefly recall a time in her youth when her father taught her how to coporate on an investigation and how to interact eith the police in situations like these. Unfortunately, this was many years ago now and the memory was foggy.

He shook his head. “Just tell it however you need to. Only wrong answer is lying.” he assured her.

“This was at about three-thirty, Barry had to run some laundry down to the laundry room. The next thing I know Parker and Pat had come in. They said Barry wanted them to remind me my father--Detective West-- was coming by at nine. I knew something was wrong so I asked them what had happened. I don't think they realised anything was wrong until the police showed up. I called the police and waited. I had no idea what was going on outside until my father came up and informed me and the boys that we had to come down to the station.”

“Thank you. That's exactly what we needed.” He finished jotting down a few notes.

* * *

When they arrived back at the apartment building it was quiet, but that wasn't unusual. Aside from a few millennials like Barry, Bett and and Zach the apartment was mostly home to older people like Mr. Walker the retired police Captain in 7B.

“Oh my god.” came a voice further down the hall.

Bett was making her way towards them.

“Are you okay?” she asked, taking in the sight of Barry’s bruised face.

Barry nodded once. “I'm fine Bett.”

“Barry took down a criminal today.” said Iris, trying to hide the pride in her voice.

“She makes it sound impressive. I tripped over my own feet and fell on him.”

"Oh wow. So is he locked up then?” Bett ran a hand through her long her, disrupting the part.

“I can't really talk about the details, but it looks good. Lots of evidence on him.

“Oh right, but you're okay?”

“Yeah.” he nodded again. “I'm just tired.”

Bett let them go on back to Barry’s apartment.

Iris got Barry inside and they didn't say anything for a while, Iris went to the bathroom and found some Advil to bring out to him.

“I'm sure your head hurts.”

“Yeah.” he took the pills she handed him and it wasn't long before the Codwells arrived home as well.

There was a knock at the back door and Barry went to answer it, Ms. Codwell stood in the doorway with the boys.

“Are you okay?” she asked him, understanding worried.

“It's just a few bruises. I'll be fine,” he smiled. “Are you guys okay?” he asked.

“We’re okay.” said Parker.

“Good.”

“They wanted to come see you,” said Heather. “I was hoping we could talk about today together.”

“Of course, come in.”

“I'll make coffee,” said Iris, coming into view.

Soon the five of them were sitting at the coffee table, Pat seated in Heather lap.

“Thank you,” Heather said after a few minutes.

“I'm just glad I was home.” Barry replied.

“Everyone’s okay.” Iris placed a hand on Barry’s shoulder and squeezed it gently.

“I know today was probably really confusing for you.” said Barry.

“No one would tell us anything.”

"I know buddy. That's because-- the man you were talking to today, he lied to you and said that he was my friend but he wasn't my friend.”

“Who was he?”

Barry looked at Heather who nodded.

“He was a bad person. A very bad person.”

“My father has been trying to catch him for a long time.”  Iris added.

“Did he make your face bleed?” asked Pat.

“What did he want?” asked Parker.

“That doesn't matter now.” Heather assured him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

“Yes he did. He's locked up now though and he can't hurt anyone anymore.”

“You’re both safe.” said Iris.

The boys nodded.

“and you boys know that if you ever feel unsafe you go and you find me, or Barry or Iris right?”

“Yes mom.” said Parker and Pat nodded.

“Okay.”

When they boys left Iris came to sit beside Barry on the sofa, throwing an arm over his shoulder.

“You okay?” asked Iris.

“I will be. Once he's convicted.” he insisted, looking down.

“I meant your face.” she reached up to tilt his face towards her to inspect the marks that would without a doubt be angry purple blotches when he got up the next day.

“Same answer.” his face blank.

“Barr.”

“I don't know what you want me to say, Iris.” he sighed. “I just want him away where he can't hurt anyone again.”

“We all want that Barr. From what I heard them saying at precinct once they match his DNA to the DNA you found at the crime scene it's going to be a pretty open and shut case.”

“I know.” he replied. “W--” he stopped himself and moved to the fridge. “Do you want ice cream?”

Iris’s mouth turned down in a frown as she wondered why he wouldn't just be open with her.

“Do you mind if I stay here? I have a feeling dad and I are going to fight tonight.” she asked, knowing he wouldn't.

“I don't mind at all.” He gave her a half smile.

“How about we get Pad-Tai for dinner?”

“Sounds good.”

“I want to ask you something.” said Iris when she finished ordering.

“Yeah?" 

“When you got home after… the crime scene. I woke you from a nightmare… You said something about a sketchbook. What does that mean?”

“I had dreamt that I was at the scene again, I looked on the ground and saw Pat’s sketchbook in the grass, then I woke up.” he replied.

She cupped his face gently in her hands and pulled him down a bit so she could press her lips against his forehead.

* * *

 “Merry Christmas!” Joe smiled and Barry hugged him.

“Merry Christmas, Joe.” He patted his back.

It wasn't long however, until Joe got called into work. Which of course again left Barry and Iris alone.

“No Ricky?” Barry asked.

“No, he went back home for the holiday, also we've only been on like… three dates.” she laughed.

“You like him?”

“I do.” she nodded.

“That's good then.”

“Now,” she grinned and passed him his gift. “Merry Christmas. I'm actually super excited about your gift this year.”

“You have been a gift all year, and always.” He put a hand in her shoulder.

“Don't get sappy on me, Allen.” she teased but leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“Okay one of your gifts is a gag gift.” he admitted and passed her the gift he’d gotten her and she opened it.

“Oh my gosh one of yours is too!” she laughed softly and they both opened their gifts.

He pulled a shirt from the gift bag, it had several periodic elements listed across it. “ _Nitrogen, Erbium, Dysprosium? OH! Nerdy._ ” He laughed. “I love it.”

“Oh good. I'm glad those were real elements.” she chuckled and pulled out a small bracelet, it was metallic and had a groove all around the cuff with a small gap at the bottom so it could he slipped on and off.

“Ooo it's so pretty!” she slid it onto her wrist.

“That's the gag gift.” he chuckled.

“What makes it a gag gift?” her brow furrowed in confusion.

“You wrap hair ties around it, that's what the groove is for. So now you can stop leaving them over every square inch of my apartment.” he teased, taking a sip of eggnog.

“I don't leave them all over your apartment.” she argued.

“I just washed all the sheets in my bed and there were _four_ plus the three on the bathroom counter, _several_ more in the drawer and that isn't even counting the Bobby pins!”

“I gotta mark my territory somehow, Allen.” she teased, shoving his arm lightly.

His arm jerked a little, sending eggnog all down the front of his sweater.

“I'm sorry!” she said and quickly went to get him a paper towel.

“If I drown in grandma Esther's eggnog that's the way in going to go.” He replied jokingly as he started to wipe the mess from his shirt.

“Open your other gift!” she insisted.

“Okay-okay, you do yours too.” He laughed and pulled the second gift from his bag.

To their surprise they both got each other the same thing-- to an extent. Iris was holding a framed photo of Barry, Joe and herself from the fundraiser they attended together not long before.

Barry held a framed photo of the two of them from the Christmas before where they'd gotten each other ugly Christmas sweaters. Barry was grinning with an arm thrown over Iris’s shoulder.

“I'm going to put this on my desk at work.” He grinned.

“This is perfect, I love it. I can put it on my desk.” She kissed his cheek.

“You look so great in that bowtie!” she sounded so proud of herself.

“I still disagree.”

“Fine.” she rolled her eyes at him.

“Do you think Joe is going to like his gift?” he slid the bottle out of the bag. It was a heavy duty metal water bottle with a dihydrogen monoxide warning label.

“Oh my god you got him with that too?” she asked in disbelief.

“Our inventory guy was being funny and Joe didn't get it.”

“I still haven't forgiven you for pulling that on me.”

"That was hilarious.”

“It was not!” she hadn't found it very funny.

“It got you to stop touching my lab equipment though.” he replied, briefly recalling the time when he’d walked into his lab to find her inspecting a test tube. It had only been filled with hot water. He quickly explained. ‘Iris! That's dihydrogen monoxide!' Causing her to squeak and nearly drop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bobby pins and hair ties are like sand and glitter. Thwy never go way. I moved into my sister's old room years ago and have cleaned everything out a hundred times but I still randomly find them. I will never be free xD
> 
> Does anyone have any "weird places I've found bobby pins/hair ties" stories? I once found a bunch in the bottom of my old back pack, which doesn't make sense for a large number of reasons (most importantly: I don't use bobby pins,) but they ended up there. I also found one in the front pocket of my favourite hoodie a few months ago.


	8. How Not To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Iris continue to be on the rocks, but they just can't stay away from eachother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been listening to the song [How Not To by Dan + Shay](https://youtu.be/Tk8pbpJa0mQ) like non-stop for a while and couldn't think of a better song to match with chapter.

“Hey Barry, can I crash at your place tonight? We could have a movie night.” said Iris as she entered the lab the following Saturday.

“Tonight isn’t really good for me.” Barry said, not looking up from his work.

“Why’s that?”

“They matched the DNA I found at the crime scene to the guy Mendes brought in. I want to finish this report as soon as possible.” he said, only part of him was lying. With the court date set he needed to get this done.

“Oh, Okay. Yeah. I'll just stay home.” she replied, though she was honestly a little confused. He had never told her _no_ before. Not about this anyways.

She brushed it off but then it happened a second time.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah I'm definitely getting some kind of nasty flu. I will see you at Joe’s birthday though.”

He was lying and Iris could tell, why though, she wasn't sure. She decided to wait a week and give him another chance to talk to her before she asked.

“Hey Barr. Can I stay with you tonight? I kinda miss hanging out.”

“Tonight isn't a good night. I'm up early tomorrow-”

She cut him off, taking a seat on his desk.

“Look… Barry. Please stop making up excuses. If you don't want me to come over, please just tell me. I'm not going to be mad at you, you know me better than that.”

Barry swallowed almost audibly. _Just be honest-- not too honest though, don't be an idiot._ He thought to himself. He and Bett had just discussed this not long ago.

* * *

Barry had been sitting on the sofa watching _Singing in the Rain_ for probably the one hundredth time that month when Bett burst through the door.

“Okay, we get it, you're a sensitive cinnamon roll.” she took the remove out of his hands and turned off the T.V. “You need to actually leave this apartment besides for work. Get up and go take a shower.”

“First of all, rude.” his tone offended. “Secondly, I'll have you know I showered this morning.”

"Go shower again.”

“Why?”

“Because we are going to big belly burger.”

Barry groaned.

“Go.”

Barry got up and changed into some presentable street clothes, but refused the second shower.

“You know too many showers makes your skin dry out.” He informed her.

“What's bumming you out so bad that you're watching that terrible musical so much?”

“It’s kind of a long story.”

“Well, we have the entire ride to Big Belly Burger and the time we have to wait for our food -- and the way back.” once they were in the parking lot.

“This case isn't processing fast enough. It's an open shut case and it should be done but the judge is backed up.”

“Ah. That mystery case.” she replied, as she wasn't allowed to know too much. “Is this the guy from… that time?” she asked, her ‘tough love’ mode turned off for the moment.

Barry nodded once. “Yes.”

“Whatever he did, I'm sure it was terrible. I hope he gets locked up soon.”

“He’s looking at twenty five to life.”

“Good.”

When they arrived at Big Belly Burger they found themselves a booth towards the back and placed their orders.

“Alright. We've both ordered, next thing.” She made a gesture with her hand in a beckoning motion.

“Joe and Iris are fighting and it's kind of my fault.”

“I'm sorry. What exactly are they fighting about?”

“Okay so… I wasn't entirely honest with you when I talked about what happened with my mother.”

“Oh?” one brow cocked upwards.

“When I was eleven… One night I was asleep and I sound woke me up. I went downstairs and there was lighting flashing around the living room. My mother was on the floor, she and my father screamed at me to run… There was a man… in the lighting. Before I could even blink I was ten blocks away. When I finally found my way home, police were carding my father off. I went inside and found Joe by my mother's body. I kept trying to tell them that my father was innocent… Then I dedicated my life to finding her killer. Whenever I disappear for a weekend I’m looking into an impossible case like my mom’s.”

“There was a man… in the lighting?”

“Yes, and he killed my mother.”

“Thats…”

“Impossible, I know. Trust me, but I've seen just about every shrink in the state and been on every medication you could name and all they did was mess me up more. I know what I saw. Iris was the only one who's always believed in me. It's been me and Iris against everything for as long as I can really remember…” he finished and their food arrived.

“So where does Joe come in?” Bett leaned on her hand.

“Joe was the one who sent me to the shrinks.” He picked at his fries. “I used to have bad reactions to the meds, Iris fought with her dad for a while until he stopped sending me to them… He doesn’t believe that my father is innocent. He thinks I'm delusional. I love him, and I know he loves me. He’s done a lot for me. No one asked him to take me in… It's just difficult for him. He never sticks up for me when people call me crazy. His sister talks to me like I'm this fragile baby that will shatter into a million pieces if she says the wrong.”

“That's got to be rough.”

“It can be, but I know they all mean well. It's just frustrating. Now he and Iris are fighting about whether or not he created an open environment or whatever. Whenever they fight it's either over me or over how Iris wants to live her life.”

Bett nodded.  “Then ...let me guess, something happened with Iris?”

“I may have accidentally broken my own heart.” he shoved a fry into his mouth.

“How do you accidently break your own heart?”

“I started really believing that Iris wanted what I did. I got my hopes up, and then when I was going to try to talk about what we are… she asked me if it would be weird for me if she dated one of the guys I work with.” he shrugged.

“Oh Barr… You need to put some space between yourself and Iris.”

“I don't know if I can do that.” He admitted. “I would miss her too much and then feel like I was punishing her for something that isn't even her fault.”

“You need to take care of yourself first. If you and Iris are as close as I think, she'll understand eventually.”

“Yeah.”

* * *

As Barry looked at Iris in the present he didn't know what to say to her.

“I just need some space. I'm sorry. I mean I'm a single twenty-something guy you know?”

“If you can't even look me in the eye and be honest with me, then maybe we shouldn't talk for a while. At all.”

“Iris. Listen… I'm working through some personal stuff. I just need some time to sort it out.”

Iris emitted a sigh. “Please just be open with me.”

“I'm being as open as I can. There are some things I just can't and don't know how to talk to you-- or anyone about.”

“Okay.” she sighed. “I'm still in your corner though.”

“I know. Also, try to lay off Joe a little. He does his best, I don't want him thinking I'm ungrateful.”

“I'll try Barr. He just makes me mad sometimes.” she admitted. “I don't like the way he talks about you.” she crossed her arms but it was a casual gesture. “I guess my gut reaction is to fight for you.” she laughed a little.

“and I love you for it,” Barry started. “but  I don't want to cause tension between you and Joe.”

* * *

After work on a tuesday Barry was seated on the sofa, a beer in his hand as he watched Singing in the Rain. It was the only thing he’d watched for a long while. He was halfway through _All I Do Is Dream of You_ when there was a knock on the door. It was the back door. He glanced out the peephole and saw Parker.

Barry headed over to the sink and poured the other half of his beer into the sink and put the bottle in the trash.

“I'll be right there!” he called before he headed into his bedroom to get a few breath mints. He had only had the one beer, but he didn't want to wreak of it while Parker was around.

Once that was done he went back and opened the door.

“Hey Parker is everything okay?” he asked, but then he noticed that Parker was a little bruised up.

“No.” said Parker.

“Does your mom know you're over here?”

Parker nodded once but very uncharastically, he didn't say anything.

“Alright, come talk with me, okay?” Barry moved so he could come in. The boy headed into the flat and sat down on the sofa, Barry sat beside him.

“I don't feel good.” said Parker, he seemed rigid, like he was forcing himself to keep a straight face.

“I can see that, slugger. Did something happen at school?”

He nodded.

Barry put an arm around the boys shoulders. “Hey it's okay. You can tell me.”

“Dad says that I shouldn't cry about it, I have to be strong.”

“Parker. You can feel anything you need to feel, no one is allowed to dictate that.”

“You won't make fun of me?”

“I would never make fun of you. It’s okay. You don't have to be strong all the timw, I'm here for you.” he promised. “What happened at school today?”

“It's not fair.”

“What's not fair?”

“He just wants to draw.”

"Are we talking about Pat now?”

“Yes,” he sniffed. “He just wants to draw and the other kids are so mean. I _hate_ them. I hate them so much.” he was nearly sobbing now. “Why can't he just draw? It's no fair they're just mean and they ruined his drawings. He won't draw now and he isn't happy anymore.” he cried into Barry’s shirt.

“Pat is really passionate about drawing.” he answered. “Sometimes that makes people jealous. They might not understand how to deal with that, so they lash out.”

“I tried to protect him and be a good brother like dad wants but they won't leave him alone.”

“Hey, buddy shh. It’s okay,” Barry squeezed his shoulder. “it’s okay. Fighting them won't solve everything though. It's okay to run away if you don't want to fight.”

“Okay.”

“You are a good brother.” Barry assured him. “It's going go be okay. I got you.”

“I hate them.” said Parker angrily, his small hands trembled.

“I know buddy it's okay.” he held his head gently.

“I don't want to get in trouble.”

“I'll talk to your mom okay? We’ll get this all figured out.”

After Parker went home Barry texted Iris.

 **Barry:** _Hey Iris, Pat could really use one of your peptalks._

 **Iris:** _I'll come by tomorrow. What's going on?_

 **Barry:** _Some kids at school are giving him a hard time._

 **Iris:** _I’ll come over early tomorrow._

* * *

Barry started up at the ceiling, it was only seven but he was exhausted from his day. Bohr stayed curled up on his stomach lazily. He grabbed his phone and sent Iris a text.

 **Barry:** _Hey_

Iris, who was seated on the sofa in Ricky's apartment picked up her phone when it dinged. She was surprised to see Barry’s name across the screen.

 **Iris:** _Hey, what's up?_

 **Barry:** _I'm about to go to bed but I wanted to check in._

 **Iris:** _it's 7PM??? Grandma West doesn't even go to bed that early._

 **Barry:** _Long day. Leaving for an impossible case tomorrow._

 **Iris:** _Oh. Have fun._

 **Barry:** _You doing well?_

 **Iris:** _Aside from my best friend suddenly pushing me away and refusing to tell me anything, yeah._

 **Barry:** _I'm sorry._

 **Iris:** _I know you are. You're always sorry._

 **Barry:** _You can't just know everything about me Iris, it's not realistic._

 **Iris:** _I should know enough._

 **Barry:** _You don't want to know, Iris. You think you do but you don't._

 **Iris:** _I'm on a date right now. I can't argue about this._

Ricky joined Iris on the sofa.

“Sorry my mom hovers.” He laughed a bit, having just gotten off the phone with his mother.

“You're fine. You were cool with the Barry situation the first time we tried to go out, I can stand to lend you to your own mother for fifteen minutes.”

“I'm not intimidated by Barry. I understand how you two are. My cousin is mentally ill, he's got bad Depression.”

“Barry isn't mentally ill.”

“I read all about his mom’s case, I just thought--.”

“Barry isn't crazy.” Iris said defensively.

“I never said he was crazy. He's just obviously been through some stuff. No one is going to be one hundred perfect fine after watching their mother murdered-- plus I know him and the way you talk about him it just seems like he has a hard time-- but I shouldn't have assumed. I apologise.”

“Sorry… No he has. I've just been dealing with people treating him like he's unhinged for years.”

“It's good that he has you.”

“I guess. He's not really speaking to me right now though."

"You want to talk about it?" asked Ricky, his tone sincere. He was always so open with Iris, it was refreshing.

"It's fine. It's old stuff that goes back about twelve years." she shrugged it off.

* * *

The impossible case turned up empty. It was perfectly explainable. Barry ran a hand through his hair and fed the cats, who the Codwells fed while he was gone. He wanted to kick something. He felt useless. He felt stuck. He wanted to call Iris, he couldn't help it. He needed to hear her voice.

Barry showered and pulled on the shirt Iris had gotten him for Christmas before heading to the lab.

When he arrived he sat down at his desk, starting a report. He didn't technically have to be in today, he was just on call. He pulled out his phone and texted Iris.

 **Barry:** _Hey, I'm back. How was your weekend?_

 **Iris:** _It was fine, Ricky and I had a bake-off._

 **Barry:** _Sounds fun._

 **Iris:** _How did the impossible case go?_

 **Barry:** _It was possible._

 **Iris:** _Shame._

 **Barry:** _Want to do lunch? I can't really leave but if you swing by the lab with Big Belly Burger I'll pay you back._

 **Iris:** _Sure._

When Iris arrived around noon Barry was surprised.

“Hey,” he smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Are we going to talk?” she asked, placing the bag on his desk.

“Kind of.”

“What do you mean kind of?”

“I'm going to tell you a secret.” He told her with another small smile.

“Okay…” Barry got up and headed over to his map of central City. He pulled up the map and revealed the board for his mother’s case.

“You’ve been working your mother's case?” she asked as she took in the information on the board.

Barry nodded once, and pulled a piece of paper off the board, crumbling it up and tossing it in the trash.

“For how long?”

“I never really stopped trying to prove my father was innocent.”

“I can't believe I never realised that you were working this case.” She had always considered herself and Barry to be extremely close. She tried to figure out how such a big part of his life just slipped by her without any notice.

“Like I said, it's not realistic to know everything.” He laughed once. “No one knows about this, not even Joe.”

* * *

“Hey... Barry, right?” came a voice from the doorway.

Barry glanced up from the pile of papers to see the new transfer from Keystone, Eddie Thawne. He was hesitantly standing at the doorway, making sure he didn't cross into the lab.

“Uh, yeah I’m Barry Allen..”

“Right!”

“You know you can… come in here.” he informed him, typing something into the computer.

Eddie crossed the room

“Right… The CSI in Keystone was kinda anal about his lab.”

“Just try not to touch anything.” Barry laughed.

“Anyways-- A few of us guys are heading out for a few rounds, you wanna join us?”

“You're inviting me out to drinks-- with the guys?” he clarified.

“Yeah, sorry are like Mormon or something?

“No, sorry. Yeah are you guys going to the Lounge?”

“Yep. We’re heading out soon.”

“Alright… I gotta feed my cats, but it's like a block from my apartment so I'll meet you guys there.”

* * *

When Barry arrived at the Bar the group of officers was already on their first round. It was pretty crowded as it usually was on friday nights, but Barry didn't mind.

“Why is Allen here?” asked one of the officers.

“Oh, I invited him.” said Eddie and he waved to Barry with a grin. “Hey Barry! Over here.”

“Why?”

“Because he works with us?” Eddie raised his eyebrows at him. He had thought Barry was pretty nice, he hadn’t known him that well yet be he seemed harmless.

“He’s weird.”

“What is this, high school?” Eddie asked with a laugh as Barry met up with them.

“I bet the kid can’t even drink.” said another officer.

* * *

Barry had lost track of the number of shots he had consumed and was actually enjoying himself.

“ _Hold on_ ,” he started to tell Eddie. “Hold. On. You're spinning. How are you doing that?”

“Maybe the bartender should cut you off buddy.” he laughed and patted Barry’s arm.

“I've gotta call Iris.” he said, pulling out his phone.

“I don't know if that's-- he's already doing it. Okay pal, yeah see if Iris can come get you.” he suggested, as he truthfully had no idea where Barry lived.

Iris was on her bed at the West house, catching up on Barry’s blog.

“Hey Barr. I was just reading your blog.”

“ _Iris!_ ” he erupted in a near fit of giggles. “Iris I'm out with the guys and they're great.”

“Oh boy did, you have a lot to drink?”

“How did you know? You know everything.” he grinned stupidly. “That’s why I love you so much.”

“Barry can I talk to her for a second?”

“She’s got a boyfriend with big arms.” Barry cautioned drunkenly.

“I'll take my chances.” he held his hand out for the phone.

Barry passed him the phone.

“Hello, Iris? Yeah this is Eddie Thawne the new transfer.”

“Yes, hi. Is Barry okay?” Iris asked, shutting her laptop.

“I think he's done for the night, do you think you could come get him?”

“Absolutely. I'll be about twenty minutes though.”

“Oh yeah we’re still all going here Barry just decided to out drink us all.” he laughed and took a sip of his beer. “Here Barry.” he gave Barry his phone back.

“Iris-- I told Detective Pretty Boy about your boyfriend with big arms don't worry.” said Barry into the phone, his words all slurring together.

“Thanks Barr. I'm taking dad’s car and I'll be over there soon.”

“Iris is coming!” he told Eddie.

“That's great Barry.” the blond laughed.

By the time Iris arrived, Barry was loudly singing along to the new Lady GaGa song on the radio _You and I._

“Hey, handsome. You having fun?” she asked.

“Iris!” he grinned. “I miss you!”

“Yeah. Come on Barr. it's time to go home.” she was unable to hide the smile on her face or hold back her laughter.

“Okay.” he agreed with a big grin.

* * *

“Hey, Iris?” Barry said as she helped him navigate the stairs to his floor.

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to stay with me?” he headed towards his apartment but nearly fell down.

“I'll stay with you until you fall asleep, how's that?”

“Okay.”

He made his way into his apartment and landed face down on his bed.

“You’re a goof.” she teased, reaching over to rub his back.

“I have to sleep on my stomach.” His words were partially muffled by the pillow.

“Why? You always make me sleep on my stomach too.”

“Because,” he turned his head to look at her. “A portion of alcohol related deaths aren't just limited to alcohol poisoning. If you pass out on your back and vomit-- you might not wake up and end up drowning.”

“That's not a terrifying thought.” sarcasm coloured her tone.

“Iris, if I never lived with you and Joe would things be different?” his eyes closed as he spoke and a yawn passed his lips.

“What do you mean?” a frown tugged at the edges of her mouth.

“If there is another universe where I never lived with you and Joe, what do you think me and you would be like there?” he asked.

“We would be best friends Barr.” she leaned down and kissed his forehead. “You’d be my favourite person in every universe.” her hand gently smoothed down his hair. “Get some rest and don't think too hard.”

“Okay.” he smiled. “Goodnight.”

Iris sat by his side, her fingers sliding through his hair gently until he fell asleep.

“Goodnight, Barry.” she replied before she rose from the bed and headed to his desk and scribbled him a note.

_Take these and come by the house when you can.._

_\- Iris xo_

She left a glass of water and a bottle of Advil on the night stand for him along with the note.

 

When Barry got up the next morning, his head didn't hurt as much as he expected but he was extremely grateful that Iris had left him some relief. He glanced at the note but went immediately back to bed after feeding the cats. His phone buzzed around noon.

 

 **Iris:** _You awake?_

 **Barry:** _I can't come over. I'm sorry. Thank you for coming to get me._

 **Iris:** _Can you really not come over or are you pushing me away again?_

He didn’t respond.

 **Joe:** _Okay please explain to me what's going on?_

 **Barry:** _What do you mean?_

 **Joe:** _You and Iris. You two are kind of a mess._

 **Barry:** _Thanks for reminding me._

 **Joe:** _Who’s mad at who?_

 **Barry:** _Iris is mad at me, but I don't blame her._

 **Joe:** _You tell her the truth?_

 **Barry:** _truth?_

 **Joe:** _You know what I mean._

 **Barry:** Is it that obvious?

 **Joe:** _Yes._

 **Barry:** _No and I don't want to talk about it._

 

Barry groaned quietly and Bohr curled up closer to him. He turned his head slightly.

“Hi buddy.” he laughed. “Good boy.” he mumbled, scratching his head.

When he got up and went into the kitchen he heard a knock at the back door. When he opened it he found Parker.

“Hey buddy,” Barry rubbed his cheek a bit sleepily. “What's up?”

“I want to talk to you.” He informed Barry.

“Did your mom say you could come over?” he checked.

The boy nodded so Barry gestured for him to come inside. Parker sat on the sofa and pulled his knees into his chest.

“What's the matter bud?” asked Barry as he came to sit next to him.

“That man was going to hurt Pat. Right?” he asked.

“Yes he was,” Barry said carefully. He knew Parker would probably come to him with more questions eventually. “but let's not tell Pat that unless he starts asking questions. He might not understand.”

“You stopped him.”

“The police stopped him.”

“No. _You_ didn't let him hurt us.”

“You're right. I didn’t.” He carefully reached out and put an arm around the boy’s shoulder.

“I've been having nightmares.” He told Barry.

“I'm sorry.” He patted his hair. “It will get easier though, and you can always come talk to me if you need to. Don't lock yourself up.”

Parker nodded.

“You're so smart. What do you want to be even you grow up?” he asked him when he was silent for a bit.

“I want the same job you have. A forensic scientist.” He smiled.

“You know, that Science academy that's offering you a scholarship would be really helpful with that.”

“I don't want to go.” He crossed his arms. “Everyone wants me to but I don't want to.”

“Okay, you don't have to. It's okay.”

* * *

January had been long. Barry genuinely hopped February would be better-- it wasn't.

On the third, Iris dialled Barry’s number at around midnight.

Barry was was working on gathering info for an impossible case. He sat hunched over his desk; looking over the file. His phone started to ring, Iris’s name flashed across the screen. He frowned.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Hi Barry.” Her voice was quieter than it usually was.

"What's up?”

“I uh,” she sniffed. “I just needed to hear your voice I’m sorry.”

“No, no it's okay.” Barry sighed and put the file in his hands down. “I'm sorry I’ve been kind of an ass lately. What's wrong?”

“I just had a rough day.”

“What happened?”

“It's just a stupid thing. I'll be over it in the morning.”

He closed the case file on his desk and turned off the lamp.

“I'm sorry,” Barry said sincerely

“Just talking to you helps.” She admitted despite herself

“Oh-Okay…” he mumbled. “Well I'm here for you.”

“What were you doing before I called?” she asked.

“I was looking into an impossible case.”

“Oh? Tell me about it.” She smiled.

“Have you ever heard of the Beast of Bray Road? It was spotted again, years after it's last appearance. I might got check it out but it's really far.” he started rambling a little.

“Can I come?” she figured it would be good to get out of central city.

“You want to come… with me?”

“Yeah. it could be fun!”

“I mean… I don't know. Wouldn't that be kind of weird?”

“You know you're right I'm sorry. Going on trip together would be kinda weird. We aren't kids anymore and I think we need to start acting like it.”

“Yeah…”

Iris hung up the call and Barry went to bed, trying not to think about the exchange.

* * *

Barry woke up early after his weekend away. His hunt for the Bray road Beast. He once again, found absolutely nothing viable. The following weekend he investigated another unexplainable case.

Each time he returned more frustrated than the last. it was getting easier and harder to ignore Iris at the same time, putting his phone away had become easier. It was something be could force his body to do, but with his heart-- he didn't have the same control. He just wanted her home with him again.

Everything in the apartment just made him think of her, the cats, which he loved-- she got him, the drawer he’d cleared off that held some of her clothes, the mint chocolate chip in the fridge… it was all _her_. Iris had been living with him, even if they both refused to admit it.

The next day Barry sat at work,

“Good news, Barr. We got a court date.” said Joe as he entered the lab.

“Great. When?”

“March first. They're going to call you to testify.”

“Alright.” Barry was no stranger to testifying in court, it came with the job so he knew he would be more than prepared.

“You okay?”

“I'm fine why?” He closed one of the files he was working on and put it in the pile he was forming to bring down to the Captain.

“Iris seems different and she won't talk to me. You guys fighting again?” he asked.

“No. I mean she called up me a few weeks ago and she seemed pretty upset, she wouldn't tell me why though.”

“Well. If she tells you anything let me know.”

* * *

Barry got another hit for an unexplainable case, but he would have to skip work. He managed to get the Captain to believe he got food poisoning.

He didn't get back until later in the evening, around ten or so, he went to the west house. He knew Iris was awake, she had texted him when she saw a concerning blog post.

He knocked on her door.

“I'm about to go to bed, dad what’s up?” she lied, crossing her legs and setting her laptop in her lap.

“It’s… me.” Barry managed after a second.

Iris closed the lid of her laptop and stood, heading over to the door and unlocking it.

“Oh.” she crossed her arms and waited for him to say something.

“Iris, I'm sorry.”

“Good.” she nodded. “What's going on with you?” she paused when she saw his eyes were glassy. “What's wrong?”

He shook his head and wiped his eyes.

“Just… a rough time right now.”

“That makes two of us,” she laughed. “come on, let’s talk. Okay?” she suggested, pulling him by the hand into her room. They shut the door and sat down on her bed.

“When you called me, what was going on?” Barry asked.

“Ricky decided we should break up before he goes back to Keystone."

“I'm sorry. I know you really liked him.”

“I did.” she agreed and moved to lay on the bed. “What about you?” she pulled her blanket over her.

Barry laid down on the small bed and Iris moved a little closer to him.

“Just a lot of stuff piling up.” He said, his voice faltering.

“Hey, it's okay. We’ll figure it out together, alright? we always do.” her hand came up to cup his cheek and he melted into the touch.

“I just keep letting everybody down.” He admitted, crying into her shoulder.

“Like who?” she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Everyone, Iris. You, Joe, my dad … my mom.”

“Barry, I'm disappointed that you wouldn't just talk to me but you didn't let me down--” she was cut off.

“Yes I did, Iris. You needed me and I wouldn't even pick up the phone. I just ignored you like a coward. I embarrass Joe and my dad is sitting in Iron Heights for a crime he didn't commit.” He argued. “All of these cases are coming up empty and then on top of all of that I have to keep going through that case file, I'm always going to remember that crime scene. I'm never going to forget it, I'm always going to remember that girl but I have to look at it again every single day.” He closed his eyes tightly.

“Hey, Barry. Barr. It's okay.” she said softly.

“I'm sorry.”

“I don't want an apology Barr. We can talk about it in the morning when we’re both in a better headspace.” she suggested, “We can talk about everything.”

“Alright.” he nodded, feeling more grounded just from being close to her again.

“That sound good?”

“Yeah, that sounds really good actually.” He breathed.

Iris’s arms came to wrap around his neck, holding close to him, her face buried in his chest.

The two just laid there for a while, after a bit Iris decided to break the tension.

“We just can't stay away from each other, can we?” she laughed quietly.

“I guess not.” He kissed the top of her head.

“I get affectionate Barry today, huh? My lucky day.”

Barry was sure he could feel her smirking against his chest.

“Don't get cocky, West.” He rolled his eyes.

 

The next day when Barry got up, Iris was already awake.

“Oh you're awake? God what time is it?” Barry mumbled.

“It’s noon, Mr. Morning Person.” she teased.

“Is emotion drunk a thing? Because I feel pretty hungover.”

Iris scrolled through her Facebook feed.

“Its Valentine's day.” she commented.

“Oh wow, already?” he stood from the bed and stretched, as he was bit cramped up.

“Yup. What do you say we get a bunch of wine and garbage food and just say ‘fuck it’?” she suggested as she set her phone down and turned to look at him.

“Yeah--” then he thought of something. “Shit, where is your dad?”

“He already left for work.”

“Did he come in here?”

“Yeah… Why?” her eyebrows pulled together.

“Did he say anything?”

“No, why would he?” Iris wasn’t following.

“He's just… being weird about us lately, and I kind of lied about being sick so I could go investigate that case.” He admitted sheepishly, one hand on the back of his neck.

"Okay, he’s being weird with you too? What did he say to you?” she stood and out her hands on her hips.

“Which time?”

“All the times! I can't believe him.”

“Well, the first time was a few months ago. He came into my office and was being really cryptic. He kept saying he respects our adult decisions and he doesn't want us to feel like we have to hide things from him.” He laughed a little.

“He straight up accused us of dating when I went on my second date with Ricky.” Iris sighed and crossed her arms.

* * *

Iris and Barry were heading up to his apartment building when her foot caught on a rock. She nearly fell backwards, but a pair of arms cushioned her fall… sadly though, this was not a cheesy romance novel, this was real life and he wasn't exactly fit. He couldn't hold her up, and they both crashed to the floor. Their heads knocked together in the process.

The next thing they knew they were both on the ground, holding their heads, but after a second their eyes met and laughter erupted between the two as he stood and offered her a hand to help her up.

When they got to his floor Iris sent Barry to his apartment before going to knock on Bett’s door.

The young artist answered the door, her hair was up in a messy bun and she wore a long white shirt that was covered in paint.

“Hey Iris.” she grinned. “How are ya?” it wasn't too unusual for them to have girls nights even when Iris wasn't talking to Barry, so she wasn't too surprised to see her.

“Hey, Barry and I are going to gorge ourselves on wine and discounted chocolate, you want to join us?”

“You're… spending Valentine's day together? What?” her eyebrows pulled together.

“Well yeah. I just got dumped and Barry’s apparently decided to be a terminal Bachelor so we just decided to take advantage of the benefits of one of the many commercialised holidays.”

“I thought I told him to distance himself.” she sighed, pushing a loose strand of hair from her face. “I didn't mean--” she was cut off.

“You're the one who told Barry to stay away from me?” Iris asked, taking a step back. “Look I know you like him but you can't just--”

“Iris… listen… yes I used to be kind of interested in him but that has nothing to do with why I told Barry to put space between the two of you.”

“Then why would you do that? I need him, and he needs me. You don't userssynd how we work. I didn’t think you would do that, but then again I don't even know your last name so why am I even surprised?”

“Because when you get yourself hurt you can't just sit next to the person and act like everything's fine! Gosh you two are a _mess_.” she rubbed her face. “You two are going to give me grey hair, I swear. --Not that I'm complaining I could totally rock that look-- but I would much rather you two get your crap together.”

“What do you mean when you get hurt?”

“You both have absolutely no idea…” she sighed. “listen. All I'm going to say is that it sucks when you spend, I don't know years probably, I haven't been here that long-- in some weird sibling-not-sibling mutual pining bubble where neither of you will decide what you are. So I'm sorry if I was thinking of Barry and how you both deserve better than that.” She leaned on the door frame. “If you want to hate me for that, then that's out of my hands.”

“Why does everyone think there's something going on between me and Barry?”

“Because even Barry did!” said Bett in a frustrated tone.

“What?” Iris was taken aback by this information.

“Oh god. Look, please don't tell Barry I told you that…” her hand came to her forehead.

“He thought we were _something_?” Iris asked.

There was no point in lying about it now.

“He thought it could be, you gave him a lot of mixed signals and he was going to confront the situation but then you decided to announce that you wanted to go out with Ricky.” Bett looked up at Iris, watching for her reaction.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know.”  

“I think you both need to stop keeping the important things to yourself. Thanks for inviting me to your anti-valentines party but I think you two have a lot to talk about and I have a family portrait to paint. I thought rich people having their kids painted in the twenty-first century was a weird media trope but apparently it's a thing.” she laughed a little, trying to lighten the mood.

“Thanks Bett… I'll call you this week? I'm sorry.” she asked.

“Absolutely.” the other woman grinned.

 

Iris headed back to Barry’s apartment and it was already like a switch had been flipped. He didn't seen quite as heavy as he did before.

“Is Bett coming?” he asked.

“Nope, she has some painting to do for rich people.”

“Oh really? Glad she's painting more she likes that more than digital art.” He noted.  “What movie do you want to watch?”

“I don't really care.” she shrugged so Barry put on a random movie.

It was about six when Iris said something.

“I should probably go.” she stood.

“Really? It's only six.”

“Well, it's going to start getting dark soon.”

“Oh.” he stood as well and headed to the door.

“Unless you want me to stay?”

“I mean…” he trialled off.

“Barry,” she looked up at him, her tone serious. “If you tell me to say. I'll stay.”

“Iris, I--” _I always want you to stay._ He finished in his head. _Just say it, you idiot._ He sighed but then that fear washed over him again. “You know… I um… You were right, Iris. What you said before? We aren't kids anymore. I think we need to start acting like it.”

“If that's how you feel.” she replied before heading out and sending Bett a text.

 **Iris:** _I think Barry moved on._

* * *

On March first, Barry got up and texted Iris.

 **Barry:** _Are you awake?_

 **Iris:** _Ya. What's up?_

 **Barry:** _I have to testify today._

 **Iris:** _You ve got this Barr. It's an open shut case, you'll be fine before you know it._

 **Barry:** _Yeah. Can I stop by the house before I go?_

 **Iris:** _Of course, see you soon._

Barry adjusted his tie in the mirror before he headed out.

Iris was in the living room when he arrived.

“Hey.” He said, looking down at his hands.

Iris took his hand in hers, giving it a tight squeeze.

“You got this, Barr. It will be over before you know it.” she gave him a small smile.

“You're right.” He nodded.

* * *

 **Barry:** _We didn't get the best judge, but they did something at least._

Barry texted Iris from the cab.

 **Iris:** _What happened?_

 **Barry:** _I’ll explain when all the paperwork is settled. I'm drained. That girl’s parents were in court today. I feel like the system failed them._

 **Iris:** _The system isn't perfect._

 **Barry:** _It could still be better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 is about half done as of right now, just under 3k.I expect to have it finished, edited and posted sometime around the first week and a half of June if not sooner.


	9. Lightning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to Starling City gives Barry the kick he needs to finally be open with Iris about whatever it is that's between them, but of course he's a little late and something is bound to get in his way.
> 
> Current events are taking a tole on the twins and Parker has been lashing out, Iris is tasked with figuring out why on top of figuring out what on earth is going on with Bett, who is suddenly distant; it's all quickly becoming too much for one woman to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... hang in there y'all, things get better I promise.
> 
> So I accidently lied and got this done super fast. Things are kinda fast paced in this chapter which I'll admit is one of my weaknesses and I apologise for that in advance.

"This is _Iris West, you got my voicemail, leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can._ ”

Barry sighed and hung his coat on the back of his chair. He and Iris had returned to where they were before their relationship became confusing. It was becoming more and more obvious that neither of them were pleased with the idea, but they managed for another year or so, tiptoeing around their feelings.

Barry was on his way back from investigating an unexplainable case in Starling City. he left her a fumbling and awkward voicemail in an extremely ‘Barry-like’ fashion. turning on the news on his computer. He could see Linda Park was reporting just outside S.T.A.R Labs.

Suddenly, the power on everything in the room shorted out.

He raised his eyebrows

“That's weir-” he started to say but when he glanced out the window he saw the large cloud of yellow mushrooming out from S.T.A.R Labs.

Thunder roared around him as he moved to close the skylight-- a searing pain ripped through his hands and into his entire his body -- then nothing. He felt nothing. There was nothing.

* * *

 Iris was leaving The Lounge with her co-worker Kelsey when she saw she missed a call from Barry. She frowned and attempted to call him back.

_You’ve reached Barry Allen. Leave a message._

Iris frowned.

“That's not right.”

“What's wrong?”

“Barry called me like ten minutes ago and now he's not answering.” Iris pulled her hood over her head to block out the rain.

“I'm sure he just went to bed. Weren't you just saying he's like-- the grandpa friend?” Kelsey teased with a laugh.

“No, he texted me from the train. He’s at the lab. This doesn't feel right. Are you fine going home without me?”

“Yeah. That's my cab.” she pointed out a cab that had just pulled up.

 

Iris started to make the two block walk to the precinct.

She was surprised to find the door unlocked; this only heightened her concern. She made her way up the stairs and down the hall to his lab. With some effort she pulled open the heavy metal door.

“Oh my god!”

She rushed in, water splashing under her feet as she took in the sight of Barry; unresponsive on top of an overturned shelf.

“Barry, wake up.” she shook his shoulder, she grabbed his hand but then saw that his palm was scorched so she set it down. “Barry?” she pulled her cellphone out again and called 911.

“911 what is your emergency?”

“Yes, hello my friend is unconscious-- I think he was struck by lighting, I need an ambulance. I don't think he's breathing.”

“What's your location?”

“Central City Police Department, third floor in the crime lab.”

“Can you walk me through what happened? First responders are on their way.”

“I- I don't really know. I found him like this.”

“You said it was a lab? Are there any open chemicals?”

Iris glanced around at scene around her.

“Yes, there's some broken vials that had chemicals on it but I don't think they were toxic.”

“Alright. Just to be safe you shouldn't touch anything.” the operator stayed on the line with Iris.

* * *

Iris stayed next to Barry. She ran her fingers through his hair as his hands were burnt from what she assumed was the lighting passing through the chain to the skylight and into him.

“It’s going to be okay.” she murmured, remembering Barry once mentioning a theory that unconscious people could still hear the world around them, or maybe that was only with coma patients? She couldn't remember. She just kept repeating her words over and over; though she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or him.

When the EMTs arrived she stepped out into the hall to point them in the direction of the lab. They quickly loaded Barry onto a gurnie and headed out. Iris made to get into the ambulance.

“Are you family?”

“Yes.”

Iris got into the back of the ambulance beside Barry.

“His vitals are abnormal. The lightning passed through his heart.” said one of the first responders.

“What is his name?” asked one of the first responders tending to him.

“Bartholomew Allen.”

“Date of birth?”

“May 14th, 1989.”

“Does he have any allergies?”

“No.”

“Your name and relation?”

“Iris West, we’re foster siblings.”

“Who is his emergency contact?”

“I am ... Is he going to be okay?” Iris asked, wiping her eyes.

“We’re doing everything we can.”

On the ambulance they managed to get him somewhat stabilized. Iris kept her eyes on Barry, unsure of what else to do.

* * *

 However, at the hospital Barry was crashing.

“We need a crash cart!” Called a Nurse.

“Barry!” Iris rushed to follow but was stopped by two nurses.

“I'm family you have to- you have to let me in. Barry!" she struggled against the nurses.

“We need the room. We’ll take care of him but we need the room.”

Iris sat down in the waiting room and pulled out her phone, dialing Joe’s number.

“Iris? I'm at the ER. I can't talk.”

“I am too-- it's Barry.”

“What happened? I'm with Chyre’s wife.”

“Barry is-- I don't know. They're trying to stabilize him.” she struggled to stay composed “Is Detective Chyre okay at least?”

“We can talk about it later, baby girl. Where are you now? I’ll come though as soon as I tell the Captain what's going on.”

 

Soon Joe made his way to the waiting room, and Iris hugged him tightly, sobbing quietly into her father’s suit.

“It's going to be okay, they'll take care of him. What happened?”

“He got struck by lightning. His heart stopped.”

They spent the next several hours in silence, waiting for any news of Barry’s condition. Eventually a doctor came out, and both Joe and Iris stood. She approached Iris.

“Bartholomew is stable. The burns on his hands and the arrhythmia are conclusive that it was most likely a lightning injury, but we don’t know why he’s still comatose.”

“Wh-what does that mean?” Iris wiped her eyes.

“The lightning, it changed the way his heart was beating and he's still unconscious.” the doctor clarified.

“When is he going to wake up?” Joe asked.

“We don't know.”

“Can we see him?” Iris asked.

“Of course,” The doctor nodded and directed them to his room. “He's right through here.”

Iris and Joe headed into the room where Barry laid on the hospital bed, unmoving. He had been intubated and Iris had a hard time looking at it. She sat on one side of the hospital bed and placed a hand on his forearm.

“Hey Barry.” she said softly. “You need to wake up soon and explain everything the doctor told me okay? You were always so good at that.” she squeezed his arm.

“Iris you should go home, or go check in on the cats and get some sleep. I'll stay with Barry.” Joe insisted, squeezing her shoulder.

“I'm fine. The cats are fine.” Iris replied. “I'll stay here… What about Chyre?”

“He didn't make it, sweetheart.” Joe said gently.

“Oh dad, I'm sorry.”

“He was a good man.”

Iris nodded, she wasn't extremely close to Chyre but he had always been a staple in her life. He'd worked with her father for years. Since he was promoted from a beat cop when she was just starting middle school. He had even attended her’s and Barry’s high school graduation.

* * *

About a week in Barry started having seizures.

“They said he was stable I don't understand.”

Joe wrapped his arms around Iris.

“It's going to be alright.” he tried to assure her, but even he had no idea what was going on.

Once Barry was stable again, she said goodbye and headed back to his apartment.

 

“Iris,” Bett stopped her in the hall. “is Barry okay? He won't return my calls and isn't answering his door.” she crossed her arms, hey face showing concern.

“Oh my god I didn't even call you I'm so sorry. Barry had an accident… he's in the hospital. Comatose.” she had to force the words out, unable to really accept it herself.

“Oh my god. I'm sorry.” she touched Iris’s arm. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Just, hope please.” Iris looked up at her, and Bett could see how tired she looked. “It's the only thing keeping dad and I going I think. I don't even know how I'm going to explain to the boys what's going on.”

“Of course.” she smiled a little.

Iris went to feed the cats. Bohr finished eating and then returned to his spot by the door, meowing softly.

“I know, I want him to come home too buddy.” she said softly, reaching down to pet the cat’s head before stepping out the back door and heading down to the Codwell’s  apartment.

“Hi Iris,” she smiled, Pat standing behind her silently.

“Hi Heather. Do you think I could borrow you for a minute? I need to talk to you about something.”

Heather frowned but nodded,

“Hey, Pat how about you go see what Parker is making in your room?” she suggested and Pat ran off, Heather stepped out onto the balcony.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

“Barry was in an accident. He's alive but he's been comatose for about a week now. They don't know when he’s going to wake up. I wanted to let you know so you can decide what to say to the boys.”

“Thank you for telling me. Keep me updated. I'll be praying for Barry.”

“Thank you.” Iris gave her a small smile.

A week turned into a month, and the doctors had no idea what to do. Barry’s heart just kept stopping. That was then that Harrison Wells reached out to Joe and convinced him to release Barry into his care. The move to S.T.A.R Labs was a quick one, they didn't waste any time getting him settled in.

“You're both welcome to visit anytime during the day, we would just like to ask that you call first so we can make sure nothing is in the way.”  said Wells when Barry was settled in.

A red haired woman appeared and shook hands with both Joe and Iris.

“Hello, I'm Doctor Caitlin Snow. I will be looking after Barry during his time at S.T.A.R. Labs, if you ever have any questions about his care you can direct them to me.”

“Thank you.” said Joe.

When they left Joe went to the precinct with Iris. They stood by his desk and he lifted a jacket from the back of his desk chair.

“Is that…?” Iris trialled off, almost not wanting an answer.

“yes. It's Barry’s. They found it when they were cleaning up the lab.”

“Ah.”

A silence hung between them as the two just looked at eachother. They were both thinking the same thing in that moment: they both wanted Barry to stumble in with the stupid grin on his face and say some incredibly random fact about whatever weird part of science he had currently been hyper-focusing on. But he didn't, and he wouldn't.

“Do you want it?” asked Joe carefully. Joe knew things had been weird between Iris and Barry, but it had never been his place to meddle so he didn't. So right now he had no idea what the two were doing.

“Yeah … Yeah, I do. I'll bring it back to his apartment with the rest of his stuff from the hospital.” she nodded once.

Joe handed the jacket over to her and hugged her tightly.

“He’ll come back to us.” he insisted.

“I know dad. I'm going to go back and to the apartment and give Bett and Heather and update, I think.” Iris headed out of the precinct.

When Iris left the precinct she pulled Barry’s jacket on and pulled it around her small frame. _you actually-huge nerd._ She thought sadly as she pulled up the sleeves to a manageable length and zipped up the jacket.

“Hey, Iris.” came a voice from in front of her.

Iris looked up, and she saw Eddie Thawne.

“Oh, hello detective Thawne.” she smiled a little.

“Listen… I've been out of town, but I heard as soon as I got back… about Barry.” he started, looking away for a second awkwardly broke looking back. “If there's anything I can do for you or your father, you know where to find me.” he spoke geunely. Eddie had been promoted to Joe’s partner shortly after Chyre’s death so Iris saw quite a bit of him, especially after he seemed to form a friendship with Barry.

“Thank you.” Iris nodded and Eddie gave her a slightly awkward pat on the shoulder.

“Oh, here.” he pulled out his notepad and jotted something down. “This is my cell.” he held the note out to her and she accept it.

“Thanks,” she replied before headed to Barry’s apartment building.

When Iris knocked on the door to Bett’s apartment she appeared in seconds, but she didn't open the door all the way, just enough to stick her head out.

“Hey Iris, how's Barry?” she smiled.

“He’s the same. They just moved him to S.T.A.R. Labs…” there was some shuffling noises behind the door. “Is this a bad time?”

“Yeah, a little bit… I'm glad that Barry is doing the same at least.”

“What's a this liquid plugged into the wall, can I drink it?” came a voice from inside the apartment.

“What on earth…” Iris started but Bett cut her off.

“No do not drink that! It makes the apartment smell nice!” she looked back to Iris. “Uh… my cousin Todd is in town and he's… kinda fucked up. Like he's detoxing… ignore him.” then she immediately realised she was speaking to the daughter of Central City’s lead detective. “Please don't call your dad or anything. There are no drugs here… went through all his stuff when I picked him up everything is good!”

“Um. Okay.” Iris replied skeptically. “You take care Todd! Feel better.” Iris called into the apartment.

“Thanks!” the voice called back. “Bett, your friend is nice! Way nicer than you.”

“I'll call you.” said Iris before leaving them.

“Put your pants back on!” Bett nearly shouted and Iris could hear it through the door.

“I was born naked and I'll die naked, wench!”

* * *

“What are you saying? Will he be able to return to his work in the lab?” Joe asked as Caitlin filled Joe and Iris in on long term care options for Barry.

“Eventually he may be able to, but probably not right away. A coma lasting more than five weeks is very rare, and Barry has been unresponsive for nearly twice that amount of time. When or if he wakes up he may have difficulty doing things. His muscles might need retraining for him to regain proper movement and control to be used properly. He will need therapy for that.”

“So you're saying he might not walk?”

“It's a possibility.” Caitlin clarified. “I have a former colleague at Central City Hospital who would be able to help me with that, but until he gets used to any limitations he may have and starts to work through them it may be best if someone stays with him.” she took some notes as she spoke. “He may require assistance with everyday tasks like preparing meals and house chores.”

“I’ll do that, what would that be? Laundry, cooking, getting from point A to point B?” With Iris working part time she was sure she could manage something like that.

“We won't know for sure until he wakes up the type of assistance he’ll need. It could be that, it could also be as intensive as needing assistance wiping eating, showering and changing.”

Iris took a deep breath, her eyes closing as she angled her head down. Joe wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Is he going to remember us?” she asked.

“His brain scans look good. I don't see anything alarming in that area of the brain. I see no reason for him to wake with amnesia.”

“That's good at least.”

 

On a friday towards the end of the third month, Iris was seated beside Barry in the cortex, his hands had healed so she held one of them.

“Kelsey came by to see how you were doing,” she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Also, apparently Bett has a cousin who's a Junkie, you're missing all of the fun.” she let out a shaky laugh. “We all miss you. Bohr cries by the door when I come to feed him.” she pressed a kiss to his forehead and her phone started to ring.

She pulled it out and answered.

“Heather?”

“Hey Iris. I think the boys are having a hard time processing what's going on. Would it be okay for them to come see Barry?”

“I’ll talk to Doctor Snow and see what she says.” Iris assured her.

When Caitlin reappeared, Iris stood.

“Doctor Snow, could I have a minute please?”

Caitlin closed the file that was in her hands.

“What can I do for you?”

“Barry’s neighbors, they're really young and they're having trouble understanding what's going on. Would it be alright for me to bring them in to see him?”

“How old are they?”

“They'll be eleven this year.”

“Are they well behaved?”

“Yes. They're two quiet, polite boys.”

“Then I see no issue.”

* * *

About a week later, Iris headed into the Cortex with the boys at her sides.

“Barry!” said Parker, rushing to his side. “Can he hear me?”

Iris paused, not sure what to say bit Caitlin appeared.

“Barry can hear you, but he might not remember this when he's awake.” Caitlin explained to the boy, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Why don't you tell him about your day.” she suggested with a smile.

Iris watched Caitlin interact with Parker. Her demeanor had completely changed, and it surprised Iris. Usually Caitlin was reserved and almost cold.

“Can I hold his hand?” he asked.

“Yes you can, I think he would like that.”

Parker took Barry’s hand.

“Pat got a new sketchbook and we finally got him to start drawing again.” he seemed excited about this fact.

“Pat, do you want to go sit with Barry?” Iris asked, then quickly noticed the boys distress, he was staring at Barry with wide eyes. “Pat what's wrong?” she frowned.

“Is Barry dead?” he asked, his hands shaking.

“No, Pat. Hey it's okay. Barry is not dead, I promise. He got hurt really bad, so his body is sleeping while he repairs. He’s alive he's just sleeping.”

Pat rushed over to Barry shook his shoulder.

“Barry! wake up.” He said, shaking his shoulder again. Caitlin moved to reach for the boy but Iris stopped her, earning herself a questioning look.

“He doesn't like to be touched.” Iris informed her. “Pat, Barry has to heal before he can wake up. It's okay.”

“Hey, kid.” said Cisco. “Sit with me, okay?” he pulled up a chair next to the one beside Barry’s bed.

Pat shook his head.

“Pat, it's okay. Cisco is my friend, he's very nice.” Iris smiled softly at the boy and he eventually went to sit beside Cisco.

“Do you like Twizzlers?”

Pat nodded and Cisco held the pack out to him, Pat took one.

“Listen, buddy. Do you like comic books?”

Pat nodded.

“What's your favourite comic book?”

“Bluejay.” he said, staring at the floor.

“Do you remember the issue where Bluejay has to go help his old mentor Eagle with the war on Mars?”

“Barry read us that one.” he said quietly.

“Alright, when Bluejay went into space they put him in hyper sleep. Did Bluejay die?”

“No.”

“It's the same with Barry. He’s just in hypersleep, but instead of going to space he’s getting better.”

“o-okay.” Pat sniffed.

“See Caitlin,” said Cisco. “comic books _are_ useful.” he grinned smugly at Caitlin.

“Thanks Cisco.” Iris smiled a little.

Seeing Caitlin and Cisco go out of their way to help the boys understand made her feel a bit better about leaving Barry in their care. It also showed her another side of both of them.

* * *

Five Months in and things weren't improving at all and the boys, who seemed to be managing at first were suddenly under a lot of stress. They began acting out at school and running away from home. Neither Heather nor Iris had any idea what to do.

Iris’s phone began to ring as she sat in the cortex with Barry.

“Hello?”

“Hey Iris, this is Detective Thawne. I'm sorry to bother you but There’s two boys at the precinct. They're causing a bit of a scene and looking for Barry. They won’t even tell us their names.”

“Oh man. I'm sorry. That's definitely Parker and Pat. They're having trouble dealing with Barry’s condition. I'll come get them.” Iris stood and hung up the phone. She kissed Barry’s forehead softly.

“I've gotta go Barr. The boys are at the precinct.” she brushed his hair back. “We could really use you right now.” she said before heading out.

 

Iris arrived at the Precinct Precinct about a half hour later, and immediately looked for Eddie. He spotted her when she came in and approached her.

“Thank you for coming.” said Eddie. “Your dad stepped out so I couldn't get their mother’s number.”

“It’s no problem, where are they?”

“They're in the captain's office.”

Iris headed in and found the boys on the bench inside the office, Pat was crying and Parker was sitting with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Captain Singh, the boys are having a hard time. I didn't think they even knew how to get here. I'll take responsibility.”

“I want them out of here. This is a police station not a playground.” his time was firm and it made Pat visibly distressed.

“Of course Capitan.” Iris nodded. “Lets go boys. It's okay.”

“I want to see Barry. I want to wait for him to come back.” said Pat seriously.

“I know you do. We all do but you can't be here right now, okay? Let's go home and take care of the cats.”

After a few minutes she managed to convince the boys to go with her.

“Did you hear the way the Captain was talking to the boys?” she asked Eddie once she got the boys out of the office.

“Yeah. He doesn’t really have the best people skills. I can give you guys a ride home, it's about time for my lunch.”

“Oh no that's fine. Don't use up your break for that.”

“It's no trouble. Where do the boys live?”

“They're on Addison.”

“Oh my grandfather lives there. The two conjoined buildings?”

She nodded as they headed out to Eddie’s car.

“How old are you guys?” Eddie asked the boys.

Pat didn't say anything and Parker’s hands were at his side's in tight fists, he didn't answer either.

“They're almost eleven.”

“Wow eleven. I bet you guys are excited for middle school after summer break, huh?”

“They're dealing with a lot. Please don't be offended that they're not talking.” Iris told Eddie.

“Its fine. Hey, did you guys know I'm friends with Barry?” he asked.

“He’s friends with Barry?” Parker looked at Iris, seeking confirmation.

“Yes. Barry and Detective Thawne work together.”

“Barry is our friend too.” said Parker.

“I know, Barry used to talk about you guys all the time. You know I thought you were his little brothers? He loves you guys so much.”

“Sometimes I wish Barry was my dad.”

Eddie laughed, amused.

* * *

Eddie dropped them off at the building and Iris thanked him for probably the one hundredth time.

When they got up to their unit Heather was relieved.

“Thank God. I was about to call the police.”

“They were at the precinct. Detective Thawne called me and gave us all a ride back here.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey Parker,” Iris went to join the boy on the sofa. “do you want to talk to me?” she reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it off.

“I want to talk to Barry.” said the boy very firmly.

“We can go see him tomorrow in the morning--”

“No I need him to tell me it's okay.”

“We all do sweetheart.”

“Barry says it's okay to be upset.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dad doesn’t let me be upset but Barry does.”

Iris frowned a little and wrapped the boy up in a hug.

“Okay.” said Iris gently, “You're allowed to be upset, we’re all upset. It's okay.”

Parker sniffed and wiped his eyes.

“When Barry and I were kids, he used to lay in my lap when he was upset. Do you want to lay in my lap?” she asked him carefully.

Parker nodded and laid his head on her lap, getting comfortable.

Iris could feel the boy shaking with sobs as she rubbed his back gently.

“Its okay,” she murmured. “It's going to be alright.” Iris had never seen Parker like this before. He was usually very serious, she had always thought he was just mature for his age. She had no idea that he had been so locked up.

When Parker finally calmed down he went to bed without saying anything else to Iris or his mother.

Iris and Heather moved to the kitchen table.

“I think the boys think Barry isn’t coming back.” said Heather.

“I’m sorry.”

“It's not your fault. The boys are very attached to Barry, I think they're viewing this as being the same as when their father left.” she looked down at her hands. “Kain wasn't exactly the father I imagined for my kids, he showed up about a year and a half ago and made an attempt to have a relationship with the boys, but it didn't go well.” she emitted a sigh. “I'm really glad that Barry is in their lives. They need someone like that.”

“Yeah,” Iris nodded. “I know what you mean.”

“I'm just worried about them. They've never acted out like this before. A while ago Barry came to me and expressed his concerns for Parker, and it became obvious very quickly that this might not be something I can help him work through, but somehow Barry was doing a good job of it though, so I'm grateful.”

* * *

After the third missed call and sixth ignored text she had sent to Bett, Iris headed into the precinct and found Eddie at his desk while her father was away looking into a case.

"Hey Eddie-- how do wellness checks work?” she asked, admittedly she had never had expierence with them.

"Well, usually someone would call the precinct and order one. There isn't that much to it.”

“Alright, and would you do that or is that more of a beat cop thing?”

“Is everything okay?” Eddie raised his eyebrows.

“It's just my friend Bett… She’s been really distant lately and she's got a cousin staying with her. She didn't want me to talk to my dad about it because he’s detoxing or something and she doesn't want him to get in trouble, but now I can't get ahold of her.”

Eddie nodded and turned his head to one of the other officers.

“Officer Cruz.”

A dark haired man appeared beside them.

“Detective.”

“Iris, tell Cruz what you told me and he'll look into it.”

About an hour later Bett shot Iris a text.

 **Bett:** _What the actual fuck Iris? Did you send a cop to my apartment?_

 **Iris:** _I was worried about your safety Bett. It was just a wellness check._

 **Bett:** _Just do me a favor and stay out of my business._

 **Iris:** _You know me better than that by now._

Bett didn't reply.

* * *

On Barry’s sixth month in a coma, Iris headed over to Bett’s and knocked on the door. There was no answer. So she knocked again, and again. Until finally a man answered the door. He wore only a pair of sweatpants, no shirt.

“Um, hello. Bett is out miss. She went to the market district.” he seemed to fumble with his words a bit.

“Uh… are you Todd?” she asked.

“Yes, I'm Todd of Central City.” he smiled at her.

 _Todd of Central City? How high is this guy?_ Iris asked herself.

He looked scary familiar for reasons she just couldn't place. She was sure she had ever seen anyone who looked quite like him he almost looked like the _Prince Charming_ from Shrek, she thought, but this man was very lanky and his face was long and not squared. It bothered Iris to no end that she could not place why he seemed familiar.

He ran a hand through his golden hair and waited for Iris to say something.

"I’m Iris. Are… Are you one of those Renaissance Fair guys?” Iris asked.

“Yes!” came a voice from behind her. “Todd is a huge renounce fair enthusiast! He's kind of studying for an acting role right now, so don't mind anything strange he says to you.” Bett said coming into view.

“Actor? I thought he was a junkie.” Iris crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows at Bett.

“Who isn't on drugs in Hollywood? Er- and he's clean at the present. seventy-five days now!”

“Uh… well congrats.” she smiled a little.

“Thanks!” he grinned. “Hey so did you get that wiggly stuff?” he asked Bett.

“Yes you dork, I got you Jell-o.” she reached into the brown paper bag in her arms and tossed him a container of blue Jell-o which he caught.

“This one is blue!” he exclaimed, pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah, it's berry flavoured.”

“There are other flavours of Jell-o?”

“Yes you idiot now get back in the apartment.” she pushed the bag into the man’s hands and shoved him back through the door. He disappeared into the apartment with a comment about Bett being mead.

“Todd seems nice.” Iris smiled, trying to be civil.

“Look…” Bett trialled off. “I really think it's best if you don't come around here for a while.”

“I know things between us were rocky for a while, but you're my friend.”

“If you were really my friend, you shouldn't have called the police!” Bett crossed her arms. “If can handle this myself he’s my ... cousin.”

“I'm a cop’s daughter, I know when something looks off. I won't apologise for sending Officer Cruz over, because at least I know you're safe.”

“You are meddling in my life. You could have gotten us in trouble!”

“I know you were probably just trying to protect him, and I understand that.” she started, crossing her arms. “What I don't understand is why you weren't just honest with me, and why you tried to hide him. You know that I would understand better than anyone, you don't have to hide from me.” Iris looked at her, visibly disappointed.

“Look I just-- I need you to promise me that you won't send the police to my house again. I don't trust cops I don't know.”

“Fine, but I want you to be honest with me.” Iris agreed reluctantly.

As she left it hit her, Todd looked like Barry. He looked scary like Barry.

 

Iris headed into Barry’s apartment to feed the cats. Once they were fed she headed into Barry’s room and slid into the bed. She hugged one of the pillows to her chest and buried her face in it. After a few minutes she pulled out her phone and dialled her voice mail. She had been avoiding this for months but she needed to hear Barry’s voice.

_First skipped message, sent friday, February 3rd at 10:23 p.m_

“Iris… It's Barry. Just got back to the lab, I know you're out but I wanted to check in. Look I met this girl in Starling, and she made me think about whatever is going on between us. I think we really need to talk about it. If you still want to, I'm sorry for pushing you away. I was scared-- well I still kind of am, it's a scary thing isn't it? I'm rambling now… Anyways, I really hope I’m not too late, please call me back tomorrow or something, I'll probably be here late so you can call whenever you want… bye.”

_To delete this message, press seven, to replay this message press nine._

“You're always late.” she sighed.

_9._

_9._

_9._

After what felt like hours Iris pulled herself up from the bed and made her way to the dresser across from the bed. Her fingers met the top drawer on the left, the one Barry had once cleared off for her. She hesitated before opening it. It was still empty from when she cleaned it out over a year ago now when they stopped ‘ _playing house’_ as Joe had once offhandedly described it. She couldn't understand why things had to be difficult. When she and Barry were … whatever they were, things were easy, they felt right.

 

Why did they have to complicate things for themselves? Why couldn't either of them say what they wanted-- no what they _needed_ to say? Was it because they were so close that neither of them were prepared to take that risk? We're they worried about how Joe would feel? Why did they continue this _idiotic_ dance? Iris struggled to find the answer but came up empty.

All Iris was sure of in that moment was that she didn't care what she and Barry were, that didn't matter. What mattered was that he wasn't there, and she needed him. She needed that stupid grin and his nerd rants that she always cut off, and most importantly she needed him to wake up. She couldn't take care of everything on her own anymore. It was too much, between the boys and her dad and Bett it was becoming to be too much.

* * *

The following Saturday, Iris was seated in the cortex beside Barry.

“I have so much to say to you, I wish you could really hear me. We all need you, Barry. The boys are a mess, Bett is hiding stuff from me and I don't know why.” she sighed and played with his hair absentmindedly. Iris had never felt so alone. “Our lives are too quiet without you… listen Barr… I know the reason you came to live with us was-- it was awful, it really was-- but you brought so much good and light with you. It will never be the same without you.” she touched his hand and felt a spark of electricity run from his hand to hers.

Iris looked up upon hearing the sound of heels clicking on the floor. A blonde haired woman had just entered.

“Oh, I'm sorry am interrupting? A guy let me in, I didn't catch his name but I think he was hitting on me.”

“That was probably Cisco. Are you looking for Doctor Wells?” Iris asked.

“No, I'm here to see Barry actually.”

“Are you the physical therapist?”

“Nope, I'm just a friend…"

“Oh… sorry. Barry doesn't have a lot of those, how did you know he was here?”

“Oh my… boss Oliver Queen called Central City Hospital and they said he had been transferred here. Things have been kind of hectic in Starling and I wasn't able to get away. How is he?” she asked.

“Oh I'm sorry. Barry didn't really get a chance to tell me about his trip.” Iris stood and pulled up a chair for her.

“No worries. I'm Felicity Smoak. Barry and I worked on a case together in Starling.” she offered a hand to Iris who shook it.

“It's great to meet you. I'm Iris West.” Iris smiled a little.

“Oh my gosh, you're _her_.”

Iris felt her cheeks get a bit warm.

“It's certainly hope that's a good thing!”

“Barry talked about you when we spent the night together--  wait no--! I just mean-- we stayed up working on the case. He did his forensic science ... I just watched. Watched him do the science! I'm going to just stop talking.” Felicity adjusted her glasses and not-so-subtly feigned interest in the medical technology Barry was currently hooked up to.

Iris laughed.

“Barry, your friend Felicity is here. I like her already.”

“Oh right he might be able to hear us. Hi Barry, sorry for awkwardly talking about you in third person!” she looked up at Iris. “So, how is he doing?”

“At first he was in and out of cardiac arrest. Now he's stable and their only concern is his recovery when he wakes up.” Iris explained, she didn't have room for ‘if’, it was _when_. He was going to wake up, she was sure of it.

“Well, he's stable so that's a plus.” Felicity smiled.

“This is definitely not the time or place… but  before Barry was struck by lighting, he left me a voicemail. He said a girl in Starling helped him figure some things out… was that you?”

“Yes, it was.”

“He was going to tell me good news I hope?”

“I can't really say,” Felicity bit her lip. “but I hope whatever he says to you when he wakes up is what you wanted to hear.”

* * *

Iris headed into the big belly burger about a block away from Barry’s apartment. It was surprisingly dead, considering it was almost lunch rush. She stepped into lime behind a tall man and pulled out her phone, dialing Bett.

Bett was sat at her computer, finishing up a digital painting. She grabbed her phone and put it to her ear.

“Dragonfire Illustration.” she set down her tablet pen.

“Hey Bett! It's Iris,” she moved forward in line a bit. “Listen I feel like we kinda got off on a bad foot last time we talked. I'm at Big Belly Burger, I know your order but maybe you can tell me how Todd takes his burger?”

“He's actually never had one before.”

“Oh really? I'll get him one with everything then!”

“Iris, you don't have to do that.”

“I _want_ to, I was thinking I could bring Bohr by. I was reading online that animals reduce stress so it might be good for Todd to sit with him for a bit.”

“Iris, you really don't have to. That's not your responsibility.”

“I don't want to leave things the way they are.”

“Okay… I'll see you soon.” Bett reluctantly agreed.

 

The three sat at Bett’s kitchen table, eating lunch almost silently.

“This is _really_ good! Thanks Iris!” Todd grinned but Bett seemed on edge.

Bohr sat quietly in his lap, purring contently. He wasn't a fussy cat, he loved Barry and was visibly depressed that he was gone, but would snuggle up to everyone he could. Wells on the other hand only really let Iris or Barry hold him.

“I can't believe you've never had one before!” Iris laughed.  She found she liked Todd, he was very friendly and outgoing. She wasn't buying Bett’s story about him being an addict though.

“His parents are vegans…” Bett interjected quickly.

“Oh, well. We’ll have to introduce you to hot dogs next!”

Todd excused himself to the bathroom.

“What are you doing, Iris?” Bett started to clear the table.

“Two-hundred.”

“What does that mean?” Bett stared at her.

“Today is the two hundredth day that Barry has been comatose.”

“That's bad, isn't it?” it had been a long time since either of them had spoken Barry’s name to the other.

“Well, when Barry hit three months she said he had doubled what is considered a long coma. Now she's saying she has no idea when Barry is going to wake up. He could wake up tomorrow or years from now. He might never wake up.”

“What does that have to do with this?”

“Barry could die. We might never see him again, not really. Not with his stupid grin and nerdy tangents we always make fun of him for. I know you two were closer than you and I are but you're my friend too. I know things get tense between us but you're my best friend, Bett. I don't want us to fall apart because he isn't here. I don't want us to be those friends who lose a friend and then just fall apart.”

“Iris …”

“I just can't, Bett, between Barry, the boys having their crisis, being strong for my dad… I’m losing all hope and I can't lose anything else.” tears rolled down her cheeks, she wiped them away quickly; embarrassed. "I-Im sorry I'm fine.”

“No you're not.” Bett wrapped her arms tightly around Iris. “I'm not going anywhere and Barry will come back.”

“You don't know that.”

“I know that Barry will come back to you, even if he had to sell his soul he would do it, okay? You two can never stay apart for too long.” she tried to assure her friend. “Can I come with you to see him tomorrow?”

Iris nodded and hugged Bett tighter.


	10. A Flaw in the Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry awakens from his coma, but things aren't going according to Wells' plans. Barry moves back into the west house temporarily. Aunt Sarah, despite being assured that everything is under control gets on the first flight from Alaska and comes to help with Barry. She and Iris have the kind of heart to heart Iris could never have with her dad. Bett continues to call Iris and Barry out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to the vodka auntTM of my future children RoseyAshes who helped me write Sarah's dilogue.

**August 20th 5:30AM**

 

“ _Subject_ is beginning to show signs of recovery, he may come around soon, but it's too soon! His regenerative abilities won't have the time to completely repair the lightning damage until a while after he wakes up. This will delay my plans as he may feel the effects of the coma and need further rehabilitation until his rapid healing takes ove--” Wells was cut off from his vocal narration by another voice.

“Good morning Doctor Wells, you're here early.” said Caitlin as she entered the cortex and made her way over to Barry.  “Good morning Barry.” she said clearly. “I'm going to take your vitals now.” as she spoke she retried the blood pressure cuff from the rolling table and attached it to his wrist. “His eyes are moving.” said Caitlin curiously.

* * *

 

 

**August 30th 11 AM**

“He likes this song.” said Cisco as he blared _Poker Face_ though the cortex, much to Caitlin’s annoyance.

“How do you even know that?” Caitlin demanded as she checked Barry’s IV.

“I read it on his Facebook page.”

Barry struggled to place the voices he heard and came up empty; he just didn't recognise them. Slowly he took in the sights around him. All he could see was a desk directly in front of him, some lab equipment and of course the two strangers hovering over him. He sat up partially and his head whipped around the room.

“It’s alive!” announced Cisco, holding up his hands in a very dramatic gesture.

“Of course he's alive!” Caitlin snapped.

“Come on, Frankenstein? Not even Frankenstein? That's a _classic_!”

Caitlin reached forward and placed her hands on Barry’s shoulders when he tried to get up.

“Please don't move too quickly. You might hurt yourself. You're in S.T.A.R. Labs. My name is Dr. Caitlin Snow, you've got some things hooked up to you so moving would be a very bad idea. You're safe but I need you to sit still.” she cautioned, removing her hands. “Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

Barry nodded.

“Good. Can you tell me your name and your date of birth?” Caitlin waited patiently for Barry to respond.

He opened his mouth to speak but he was having difficulty forming words correctly. Caitlin allowed him to finish his attempt before speaking again.

“We’ll work on that. Can you raise your right hand for me?”

Barry carefully raised his right hand.

“Can you make a fist?”

Barry squeezed his hand closed but seemed to have minor difficulty doing so, his hand trembling from the effort. He looked up at Caitlin.

“That's actually really good. Better than I calculated.”

Barry opened his mouth to say something but closed it again when it came out too slurred to understand. So he stopped and waited for Caitlin to speak.

“Cisco try to find him something to write with,” she turned to Barry again “but Barry, definitely keep trying. You're doing great. The fact that you're already trying to be active is great.”

Cisco called Wells on the intercom before following Caitlin’s instructions.

“Here you go.” said Cisco, pulling a table over and putting paper on it, giving Barry a pen as well.

Barry started to slowly write out D-A-D as clearly as he could.

As he wrote Wells appeared.

“Mr. Allen. Welcome to the world of the living. I'm sure you have a lot of questions right now but don't worry. We’ll have you caught up to speed and feeling better in no time.”

Barry pointed to the paper again. He was worried that his father didn't know what had happened.

“Ah, would you be referring to Joe West or Henry Allen?”

Barry was a little stunted by that question but wrote down

_Henry_

Barry was worried about how long he had been unconscious, and whether or not anyone had told his father where he was.

“Don't worry, Detective West’s daughter kept him updated on your condition.”

Barry opened his mouth to speak again but again, he had difficulty. It was like the signal went from his brain to his mouth but got a little lost along the way. He felt a little frustrated, but he remembered the searing pain of the lighting and was honestly happy to be alive.

_Iris_

“Yes she visited you quite often…” Wells smiled almost knowingly.

“She talks _a lot_.” said Caitlin in a slightly displeased tone.

“She's hot.” Cisco chimed in.

Barry nodded feeling a bit relieved. He would feel less stressed with his family there.

“Do you want me to walk you through everything now or wait for your family?”

_Wait_

He wrote with only minor difficulty.

“This is going to be really unpleasant but I have to remove your catheter and feeding tube.” said Caitlin. “Which also means you two need to leave.” She was referring of course to Cisco and Dr. Wells.

He visibly paled at the mention of the catheter.

* * *

Iris returned to the table at jitters where Eddie sat and passed him a mug of coffee.

“Thanks.”

“Of course,” She smiled and took a seat. “I can't even begin to thank you for all you've done for me and my dad these past few months.”

“I'm happy to help. Barry is a friend of mine.” he sighed. “I can't even imagine what you guys are going though. Barry talks about you all the time, I could tell you guys are close.”

“I'm just kind of losing my mind.” Iris admitted, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Well, it sounds like you have a lot going on I would be surprised if you were totally fine.” he touched her arm. “What's up?”

“Barry and I have been close for a really long time.”

“I think your dad mentioned once that he used to live with you?” He and Joe didn't really talk. Joe didn't take him very seriously-- hence his nickname _Detective Pretty-boy_ but he knew that Joe referred to both Barry and Iris as his kids, and he was sure that he heard Joe talking about Barry’s old room at some point.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “We were best friends before that though.” She laughed. “Oh man the first time I saw him I just remember thinking that he was the happiest boy I had ever met. He always had the strongest moral compass too. It got him into so much trouble. He was always running away from bullies.”

“I can relate to that.” he laughed and leaned back on the sofa slightly. “Did he come live with you when his mom died?” he asked, having sensed that she needed to talk about Barry. He read Barry’s blog occasionally, he found it interesting if he were being honest.

Iris nodded.

“The night his mom died my dad brought him home and said he was going to stay with us for a while. I didn't really understand what was going on right then. I took his hand to take him upstairs and he told me about how his mother died and that his father was innocent. I told him I believed him, and I still do. I'm the only person who does.” Iris set her mug on the table and crossed her arms, getting more comfortable in the chair.

“I spent years fighting for him. Even with my dad. He followed me everywhere, people to this day call him my shadow.” She thought of how even her co-workers called him that. “but it was more than that. We’re always able to ground each other no matter what the issue is. It's always _us_. I don't know how to explain it.

I used to feel guilty for not wanting him to leave, it was embarrassing but after he moved out, my favourite times were when the washing machines in his building broke and he would come over to do laundry. It was like he was back exactly where he belonged.

It was so easy for _years_. Then it just got confusing and then he got struck by that lightning and everything is falling apart but Barry isn’t here to help me with all of it.”

“I’m sorry. I can see you two have a very special relationship.” said Eddie sympathetically. He reached across the table and touched her arm.

“Yeah we do.”  her phone started to ring and she frowned. “Sorry it's my dad.”

“Hey dad.”

“S.T.A.R. Labs just called.”

Iris froze and Eddie picked up on it, shooting her a look of concern.

“What did they say? Is Barry okay?”

“He’s awake baby girl.”

“Oh my god. Really? Oh my god. I'm actually at Jitters with…” She glanced at Eddie before finishing. “a friend. I'll walk to the precinct and we can go.”

“What happened?”

“Barry is awake.”

“That's great!”

“I'm really sorry to leave you like this but he’ll want to see me.”

Barry attempted to tell her that he was fine, but it came out a bit jumbled. She managed to make out what he was trying to say and approached him.

Barry reached out and put a hand loosely on Iris’s arm, squeezing it as best he could.

"How do you feel?” Iris asked.

He made another attempt to speak sighed and picked up the pen again.

_Tired_

“We’ll get you taken care of Barr.” Joe patted his shoulder. “When can we take him home?”

“Ideally I would like to keep him overnight for observation, but then he can go home.”

Barry picked up the pen again and wrote

_Boys cats_

“Bohr misses you. The boys… we’ll talk about them later okay?”

Barry frowned but nodded. He wasn't sure why she wouldn't talk about the boys, had something happened?

“I'm going to take your vitals now, is that okay?” Caitlin asked.

Barry nodded and Caitlin stuck a thermometer into his ear, making him wince. When that was done she wrapped the pressure cuff around his arm.

“Temperature is normal… blood pressure is a little low but I'm not too concerned.” she smiled.

“Good.” said Joe.

“I'm going to run your discharge plan by Joe again first, then come back and talk to you.”

Barry nodded in agreement and looked at Iris.

“Cisco, let's give Barry and Ms. West a moment alone.” said Wells and they ducked out of the room.

_How long?_

“How long were you in the coma?”

He nodded.

“Seven months or so.”

Barry’s eyes went wide.

“I know.” she reached out and took one of his hands. “I watched you die, Barry, your heart, it kept stopping. I'm so happy you're awake.” she tried to wipe her eyes before he could see she was crying.

Barry reached out and took her hand again, pulling it to his chest. He held it there for a few seconds.

“It's beating really fast.” she commented, wiping her eyes with her free hand.

He drew a small heart next to the word _fine_

“Yeah, I can see that.” she nodded. “Barr we really thought you weren't going to wake up.”

He leaned up so he sat up straight and opened his arms, she hugged him tightly, one hand running up along the hair on the back of his neck. After a moment they pulled apart and Barry wrote on the paper again.

_Boss pissed?_

“Captain Singh? Actually, he and Rob brought you flowers about two months ago.” she said, then upon seeing his expression she replied. “I know, I was shocked too! Listen, Rob is nothing like we guessed. He’s shorter than me and very soft spoken.”

He started to write something but then scratched it out.

“Sarah is flying in.” said Joe as he returned from his chat with Caitlin.

Barry shook his head. _She doesn't have to_ Barry wanted to say but he was tired from writing already, just those few words had been draining.

“She's insisting.” Joe replied. “I just have to figure out where we’re putting everyone.” he rubbed his chin as he spoke.

“I'll be staying at Barry’s so there's two bedrooms we can stick her in.”

“Barry’s apartment isn't exactly wheelchair friendly.”

“The stairs to the back door are wide enough for me to walk him up.”

“We don't even know how long he can stand.”

“You're right.” Iris sighed.

“He might have to go on the sofa until we can walk him up stairs.”

Barry gave a weak thumbs up.

_lightning_

“Yeah you were struck by lightning Barr. Iris found you and called that paramedics. You were out for almost seven months. It's August 30th.”

* * *

Once Barry was caught up and put as at ease as he could be Iris and Joe returned home.

At the house, Iris retrieved some pillows and blankets from the hall closet, she laid one down over the couch, tucking it into all the gaps before placing another on top of it with the pillows.

Once they finished setting up at the house iris came back around noon to see Barry. She sat down in the Chair beside his bed.

"How are you feeling?”

Barry grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

"What are you so smiley about, you nerd?”

 _Alive_ he wrote.

“That is something to be smiley about.” she sighed. “I wish I could be that positive. Here.” she set a Big Belly Burger cup on his table. “Dr. Snow said your throat would probably be a little raw from the feeding tube and that I could bring you a milkshake.

He noticed something then, he recognised the jacket she wore. He extended a hand and touched the sleeve and pointed to himself, somewhat mouthing ‘mine’

“Oh yeah, is that okay?” she asked, admittedly a little embarrassed at being called out.

Barry nodded and smiled again but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Then pointed to the _boys_ he had written earlier.

“They're having a hard time with the situation. I'm going to call Heather in a little bit.

He nodded and pointed to _dad_

“I called Iron Heights while my dad was dealing with some work stuff and they promised someone would let him know you're awake as soon as they can.”

Realising things weren't going to get much easier anytime soon Barry pulled another piece of paper towards him and started to slowly add an array of words to it.

 _Dad, joe, Dr.-_ Iris reached over to help but Caitlin spoke.

“You should let him do that himself. I know you want to help but it's good for his muscles and his brain.”

Iris pulled her hand back and sighed.

“I hate sitting here and doing nothing.”

“I'm sure you're helping just by bring here.”

Barry nodded in agreement.

“I don't know how well you'll be able to use it but I brought your phone.” she pulled it from her purse and set it on the table in front of him, hoping he could manage it.

Barry fumbled awkwardly until he lifted the phone and pressed the power button. Light shone on the screen and after a moment the home menu appeared. He didn't really _do_ anything with it at first, he just sort of tried to push the touch screen buttons accurately until he opened his call history.

“-iss” he partially slurred and pointed to the screen.

“Yeah, you called me just before you were struck by the lightning. Do you remember that?” she frowned.

He nodded.

“I got your voicemail.” she smiled a little and patted his arm. “We can talk about it when this is all sorted out.”

He nodded again.

“Are you ready for aunt Sarah’s  hovering?”

He grabbed the pen but Caitlin joined them and placed a walker by the bed.

“We need to figure out how well he can support his own weight.”

“Okay,” Iris moved over a bit. “Anything I can do?”

“You can spot him. He'll sit back on the bed but you can help him down.” she looked to Barry. “Does that sound alright?”

Barry nodded and with a little help he stood and used the walker to hold himself up, his hands fisted around the handles as tightly as he could manage. He stayed there for about eleven seconds before he had to sit down again.

Caitlin took a few notes before moving the walker to the side.

“That was really good. We'll keep working at it. Tomorrow we'll get you into a wheelchair.”

Barry nodded once.

* * *

Barry opened the car door and managed to get himself from the car seat to his wheelchair with only minimum help from Joe.

“Sarah’s flight should be getting in within the hour.”

Joe pulled Barry’s chair up the two porch steps and carefully down the step into the living room, Iris followed.

“By the way, a girl visited you while you were asleep.” said Iris, pushing aside a hope that he would say that they were just friends.

Barry looked at her with her eyebrows raised.

“She said her name was Felicity. She was an adorable nerd, very pretty.”

He pulled his cell phone from his pocket. He had managed to get the hang of typing. It was still slow but it was better than writing.

 **Barry:** _I'm surprised she came all the way out here. Did you guys talk?_

“Yes, but we talked about you most of the time. She was only here a few days.” Iris shrugged.

Barry texted Felicity.

 **Barry:** _Hi Felicity, I just wanted to tell you that I'm awake. Iris said you visited. Thanks._

 **Felicity:** _Oh my god!!! This is great news!!! I'll let Oliver know and I'll call you soon._

 **Barry:** _Sorry can't talk on phone._

 **Felicity:** _?_

 **Barry:** _Speech is difficult._

 **Felicity:** _Oh okay! Well, keep me posted._

He put his phone away and wheeled himself over to the sofa before getting himself seated on it. His phone buzzed.

 **B:** _Hey. Heard you were awake._

 **Barry:** _Yes, I woke up yesterday but was only just able to go home._

 **B:** _Good. Take it easy. Don't strain yourself running around chasing impossible cases._

 **Barry:** _You need to be able to walk to run._

 **B:** _Wait, what?_

 **Barry:** _Wait what did Iris say?_

 **B:** _She just said you woke up._

 **Barry:** _I have to retrain my body to work the way it did before the accident. Talking is difficult and I can only stand assisted for short increments._

 **B:** _Is there anything I can do?_

 **Barry:** _I'll be fine don't worry. I start PT tomorrow. I'll be walking around in no time :)_

His phone vibrated _again_.

 **Oliver:** _Heard you were awake. If you need anything please don't hesitate to reach out._

 **Barry:** _Thank you Oliver._

Barry hadn’t really realised how many friends he had made until they all checked in on him at once. It made him feel confident, he had his friends thought this process: he wasn't alone.

In the kitchen Iris was filling two bowls with mint chocolate chip ice cream.

“I'm worried about Barry.” Joe told Iris. He took a sip of his coffee.

“Dr. Snow says the rehab will help.”

“I'm worried that Barry is going to realise this isn't going to be an easy thing and he’ll take a nosedive emotionally.”

“Oh.” Iris stuck spoons into the bowls. “I don't know.”

she left the kitchen then and passed Barry one of the bowls. “Can I sit with you?”

Barry nodded with a grin and Iris could almost hear him saying _always._ How she missed that …  She took a seat on the sofa beside him, folding her legs under herself.

“Okay so, I went out to your apartment and got some clothes for you, if there's anything else you want that isn't in the bag I can get it tomorrow.” She took a bite of her ice cream. “Mind if we skip the science channel until you can explain everything?” she asked, turning on the T.V.

Barry nodded and Iris turned on _Animal Planet_.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, looking over at him.

He grinned and have her a thumbs up.

“Really?” she frowned a little.

He leaned over and kissed her cheek before pulling back and giving her another thumbs up.

“You nerd. You can't distract me by being cute.”

Barry shrugged dramatically and they settled in to watch a show that was currently discussing some variety of sloths.

“Sloths are adorable! Look at their little faces, I want one.”

 _Sloths are a mobile, living ecosystem. Their fur is home to many varieties of insect and fungi_.

“ _Gross_ ,” Iris’s face screwed up. “I changed my mind. I don't want one.”

Barry laughed a little, these shows were always better with Iris’s cometary. He had missed it since she ‘moved out’, if one could even call it that. He sighed and leaned on his hand.

“What's wrong?”

He shrugged and grabbed his phone again.

 **Barry:** _I'm fine. Sitting up takes more out of me than I expected. Also, it's okay for you to read my texts from the others if need to assure them I’m okay._

Iris took out her phone and read over what he sent her.

“Do you want me to move so you can lay down?”

He shook his head.

“Fine.” she moved over and put a pillow in her lap and patted it. “Then you'll have to lay on me.”

Barry hesitated but laid on his side, using his hand to scrunch his legs up slightly so he could place his head on the pillow in her lap.

As the documentary went on it had moved on to discussing some other animal but Iris was absentmindedly running her hand though Barry’s hair.

“Are you kids going to be alright for a half hour? I have to go pick up Sarah from the airport.” said Joe, entering the room.

“You good Barr?”

Barry nodded and managed what sounded somewhat like a ‘yes’.

“We’re good dad.” Iris called back.

About a half hour later, Joe and his sister Sarah glided into the room.

“Where is my favourite scientist and my favorite niece?” there was a certain about of whimsy in her voice.

Iris craned her neck back slightly.

“Barry actually just fell asleep.” she smiled and leaned on her hand, her elbow was.propped up on the arm rest. Her free hand continued to play with Barry’s hair. it had been over a year since they’d had a moment like this, Iris just silently watching over Barry as he slept. She wished it had been under better circumstances.

“Well, he must be tired, lots of commotion today.” she smiled and came around to see that Barry was in her lap. She kissed Iris’s forehead before following Joe into the kitchen.

“When did that happen?” she asked him when they were both out of earshot.

“When did what happen?”

“Barry and Iris.” she said, her tone implying it should be obvious.

“Listen Sarah. I have no idea what those two are doing. I've been trying to figure that out for _three years_. I gave up.”

“Well, what happened?” she asked.

Joe went on to explain their previous arrangement of Iris practically living with Barry and even about them adopting cats together. Even about the time Barry stayed the night in Iris’s room.

* * *

When Barry finally woke up just under an hour later and sat up, though it he wasn't being honest, he wanted to stay close to Iris. He would have been more than fine with curling back up in her lap.

“Good morning.” Iris smiled a little.

Barry frowned.

“You should be resting. I don't care if you take a forty minute nap in my lap you actual goof. It's not like this is the first time you've slept on me.” she smiled and reached over to brush his hair back. “I almost kind of miss it.” her gaze was on his reaction. “I wish you weren't tired from everything going on.” she gave him a sad smile.

 _I miss it too_. He thought to himself hopelessly, but when heard footsteps he carefully pushed her hand out of his hair.

Iris frowned a little but Sarah soon appeared.

"There's my favourite scientist! Did you have a good nap?” she leaned down and gave him a hug. “Now. I'm sure you probably want to shower after spending all that time in the hospital and I know Joe is dragging grandma West’s old shower chair out of the garage. How about Iris and I do a lunch run?”

Iris looked at Barry and waited for his response. He just fort of shrugged. Both young adults were wondering why their aunt was so onssotant on getting Iris out of the house.

“Sure.” Iris stood but reached across the table to grab Barry’s phone, placing it in his hand.

“Felicity checked in again, I let her know you were napping.” she told Barry before allowing her aunt to drag her out of the house.

 **Felicity:** _Sorry I know we talked like a half hour ago but are you doing alright?_

 **Barry:** _Hey Felicity, Barry is fine but he fell asleep. -Iris_

 **Felicity:** _Thanks for the update!_

 **Barry:** _No problem! I also just realised I didn't give you my # it's 816 xxx xxxx_

 **Barry:** _Hey Felicity it's Barry. I just woke up. Sorry about that. How’s Starling?_

 **Felicity:** _It's alright, glad you're taking it easy._

* * *

 Sarah took Iris straight to Curlies, a small mom and pop shop that she and Iris frequented when she was in town. Sarah ordered them both milkshakes before dragging her to a both in the back.

“What did I do?” Iris asked upon seeing the all too familiar booth.

“What do you mean? I can't take my niece out for a milkshake?” she asked innocently.

“This is the _make Iris talk_ booth. Last time you dragged me back here I was nineteen and you accused me of being pregnant-- which I wasn’t! I had just gained twenty pounds.” she recalled bitterly.

“Then you should know that there's something you need to talk to me about.” she pulled the straw from her milkshake and licked it. “Spill, bitch.”

“Ugh. I don't know what you want me to spill about?” Iris took a sip of her milkshake.

“You and Barry.”

“Oh.” Iris sighed. It was really easy for her to talk to Sarah about things. “I don't know what that's about, honesty… but right now I don't care. I only care that he's awake and that he's going to be okay.” Iris’s eyes stayed on her milkshake.

“Do you love him, sweetie?”

“I don't know.” Iris bit her lip. “I think I do, but what is love anyways? I don't exactly have any examples of that to look at.”

“I heard you guys were living together for a while.” Sarah pointed out.

“We were kind of, and things got confusing and a little messy.”

“You started to get feelings for him?”

“So what if I do? What then? What about my dad? Barry is his _son_ , maybe not biologically but he raised him. You and I both know how he sees Barry.” It was no secret that Joe had always referred to both herself and Barry as his kids. “Everyone we know-- they know we’re a family, what would they say?”

“Your daddy has watched you and Barry dodge each other for _years._  He just wants you to be happy.”

“That's not even all of it. Barry doesn't make any sense. I practically tell him to pressure me and he runs the other way.” Iris heaved a sigh.

* * *

Back at the house Joe helped Barry into his wheelchair and he headed into the bathroom with Joe following behind.

When he reached his destination he transferred himself onto the bench with ease and carefully got his legs up over the side of the tub.

“If I leave your towel and your clothes on the toilet here, can you reach them?” he asked.

Barry leaned forward slightly to see and then nodded, giving Joe a thumbs up.

“Okay, I'm going to move your chair out of here, and then I'm going to leave the door open incase you need something I can hear you.”

Barry nodded and Joe left the bathroom, heading into the kitchen. Barry pulled off his S.T.A.R. Labs sweatshirt before shimmying himself out of his pants and his boxers. He felt frustrated but tried to stay positive, he knew he was doing pretty well for someone who had just been in a seven month coma and tried to hold onto that.

When he was done in the bathroom he dried himself off and got dressed again. He managed to call for Joe, even if what he said didn't really sound like his foster father's name and Joe bright the wheel chair back into the bathroom so Barry could transfer himself to the chair again.

When he made it back to the living room Barry went back to the sofa and  Joe took a seat, one arm going over Barry’s shoulders.

“Listen… I know you and I butt heads a little bit.”

Barry gave him doubtful look.

“Okay. _A lot,_ we butt heads a lot,” he laughed a little. “but you're my kid and I love you.”

Barry nodded, his inability to effectively communicate was starting to become frustrating, but he didn't let on.

“We’re back!” Sarah sang as she glided through the front door, Iris following behind her.

* * *

Barry’s first week of therapy did not go as well as he had hoped and Caitlin’s colleague happened to be Zach from his building. Despite being such a large City, Central City felt really small sometimes.

It was one of the longest weeks of Barry’s life.

The second Saturday after he woke up, Healther had asked to bring the boys over and see Barry as well as allowing the West's to further explain Barry’s condition.

When Iris answered the door, the twins stood in front of their mother.

“How is he?” asked Heather.

“He's feeling great. A little frustrated-- and he thinks I don't notice him trying to be strong but he's doing okay.” She frowned a little when she saw Pat was holding a Bluejay comic. “Listen boys, we have to have a talk about Barry before you see him, okay?” she stepped outside with them.

The boys sat on the steps and Iris knelt on the walkway.

“When Barry was in his coma-- Hypersleep.” She corrected, remembering how Cisco had explained things to Pat. “He forgot how to do certain things, and he has to re-learn them. He still remembers all of us and he is so excited that you're here but he won't be able to read with you. His body forgot how to talk out loud as well as how to walk.” She watched for their reactions before continuing. “He's going to learn how to do it all again, so soon he'll be able to do fun things with you guys again but right now he can't. He talks to us by writing down what he wants to say.” She hoped this wouldn’t upset the boys.

Pat was the first, and only to speak.

“That's okay. I can read to Barry instead!” he decided before she lead them all inside.

Barry smiled when the boys came around to see him. He waved and offered Parker a hug. Pat accepted the hug when Parker didn't, surprising everyone, even Heather.

“I bought a Bluejay comic! Iris said you can't read it so I'll read it to you.”

“Are you okay Parker?” Iris asked.

Parker sat down next to his brother who had seated himself next to Barry.

Heather and Iris moved to the kitchen.

“Parker has been acting out… He’s not adjusting well to middle school.”

“What's been going on?” asked Iris.

"I don't know. He's been acting out physically too. He turned his entire room upside down the other day. I came in and he had knocked his dresser down and pulled down everything that was hanging on the walls… even the blinds... It was a mess. I tried getting him to talk to me but he won't, I even tried a therapist but he wouldn't talk to her either.”

Iris frowned.

“I'm sorry. I wish I knew how to help him.”

“Me too.”

In the living room Pat was animatedly reading the comic book to Barry who nodded along but he was also worried about Parker.

Parker had never given him the cold shoulder before. When Pat was done with the comic Barry grabbed the spiral and wrote down.

_Hey buddy, this is how I talk for right now. You can reply by talking to me or you can write back to me. How are you feeling?_

He passed the paper to Parker who read it.

“I missed you.”

 _I'm sorry_ he wrote and showed Parker.

“I'm really scared.”

_It's okay. Why are you scared?_

Parker shook his head and crossed his arms. Barry frowned deeply and reached over to touch his shoulder.

Before they left Barry wrote Heather a note about what Parker had said to him.

* * *

After a few weeks of therapy Barry wasn't improving as much as he had hoped to. He was growing more and more frustrated. At the end of the second month he was managing to stand and walk assisted--heavily assisted, but still couldn't talk as he could before the accident. He was still frustrated.

He was currently leaning on Zach as he made his way up the stairs to his apartment.

“You're doing great Barry, We’re almost to the top.”

A few more steps and Barry was back in his wheelchair. He gave Zach a nod and a wave, doing his best to indicate a _thank you._

“No problem Bud.” he replied and they continued to Barry’s apartment.

“Bohr has been so sad without you.”

Barry pulled out his keys and shoved them into the lock.

Meow.

Meow.

Barry turned the keys and Bohr’s voice only seemed to get louder.

Meow

**_Meow._ **

Barry pushed the door open carefully and Bohr shot out of the tiny gap, jumping into Barry’s lap and beginning to rub his face all over Barry’s chest.

Barry started to stroke it's back and kiss his head, laughing a little.

“Told you.” Iris squeezed Barry’s shoulder.

Suddenly, the entire building trembled violently, Zach grabbed Barry’s wheelchair and held it steady. It only lasted for a moment and then it was like nothing had happened.

“Was that another earthquake?” It was Zach who spoke.

"I have no idea. They seem to be getting more frequent don't they?”

Barry looked very confused.

“Central City has been experiencing earthquakes. They started while you were asleep.” Iris explained.

They headed into his apartment again and Barry went straight to his room. He raised his eyebrows at the sight of the bed. The bed covered were pulled back and all the pillows were moved to one side.

Iris walked past him quickly and started to fix the bed, Barry followed her.

“I- I um. May have slept here a few times while you were…” She trialled off, feeling embarrassed.

Barry reached out and touched her arm, squeezing it gently. Iris knew it was him trying to tell her it was okay. She turned to face him and sat on the bed.

“It was so hard without you, Barr.” She admitted, closing her eyes and trying to keep herself together. “At first it was going well, and we were all sure you would wake up, but then you just stayed in the coma and we thought you were going to die. I just wanted to feel normal and I just… I'm sorry, I know this isn't about me I just.”

Barry reached up and put his hands on her shoulders, once again not needing words to communicate to her that he was listening.

“I just kept staying here stupidly hoping that you would walk in with that stupid grin on your face--” she wiped her eyes quickly. “It was all too much. I had to take care of everyone but I didn't have my rock.”

Barry felt the frustration rising within him. He wanted to _say_ something to her. He knew what she needed to hear and he wanted to give her that, and he couldn't.

“Maybe I can change the sheets and we can just hang out for a little while, would that be fine?”

Barry nodded, smiling sadly.

Iris rose from the bed and pulled the blanket back. She shot him a look when she heard it, he was laughing. She crossed her arms.

“What on earth could you possibly be laughing at?” She demanded.

He pointed to the sheets, and she followed the direction with her eyes until the found the site of his amusement. Laying on the sheet was a hair tie and two bobby pins.

“Oh, yeah that's real funny. She stuck her tongue out at him as she tossed a pillow at him.

Once the bed was cleared off re-covered with fresh sheets she helped him transfer to the bed before receiving both their phones from her purse. She passed him his and climbed into the bed.

 **Barry:** _I'm sorry it was hard for you. What have I missed?_

“Where do I start? Parker is in the middle of some sort of mental breakdown, Heather and I have been trying to figure out what's wrong but we can't. It kills me to watch. He can't just keep bottling everything up, he's going to explode… Then Bett is taking care of her junkie/actor cousin Todd. I mean he's the nicest guy but I just know there’s something she isn't telling me about him.” she pulled up her Instagram and showed Barry a photo of the three of them sitting together.

 **Barry:** _Am I the only one of us who's freaked out by the fact that he looks like me? He looks like me and that airhead Prince from Shrek got shoved into one of those face mesh programs._

“Right! Super creepy!” Iris agreed. “Also… I think I'm friends with Detective Pretty boy.”

Barry looked at her in slight disbelief.

“I know! He’s actually a really nice guy, like the nicest. He helped me with the boys a few times and he covered my dad's shifts so we could both be with you…”

 **Barry:** _Do you like him?_

He almost didn't send it. Iris looked up at Barry and tried to read his expression.

“I've got a lot of stuff to deal with before I even start thinking about boys, Barr.”

 **Barry:** _I'm sorry. That's not really my business anyways._

Iris stared at the words and sighed.  

“I guess not.”

 **Barry:** _I didn't mean it like that. Texting everything sucks. I just meant I'm not entitled to every detail of your life._

“Yeah.”

* * *

Barry got out of bed at one A.M. and made his way into the kitchen, doing his best to stay quiet. He groaned when he reached the kitchen. His Froot  Loops weren't on the counter where he left them. He made his way back to his room to grab his phone before pushing himself back out.

 **Barry:** _R u up?_

He typed with one hand, texting one person he _knew_ was awake at this hour,

 **B:** _Ya, everything ok?_

 **Barry:** _Wyd?_

 **B:** _Are you drunk?_

 **Barry:** _No. I'm only using one hand to type._

 **B:** _Hold on. What’s happening here? Did the lightning make you a fuckboy?_

 **Barry:** _No! Trying 2 move + type._

 **B:** _Suuurreee. What do you need?_

 **Barry:** _Iris put my foot loops away. You're the tall one now, time to pay up._

 **B:** _You had me at frootloops. Omw._

Bett knocked on the door and Barry let her in.

“Which cabinet?”

 **Barry:** _first door. Bowls are in the other end._

“Got ya!” She pulled the box down and grabbed two bowls while Barry got milk and spoons. He met her at the kitchen table and they poured themselves each a bowl. “So, why are you awake during artist hours, science boy?”

Barry didn't didn't respond.

“Oh my god even in silence you can't keep secrets.” she rolled her yes.

 **Barry:** _Pain._

“What do you mean?”

 **Barry:** _I have pain everywhere. My legs hurt, my arms hurt._

“Is that normal? Did you talk to you doctor about it?” Her eyebrows pulled together.

 **Barry:** _Dr. Snow said it's common. I've been pushing myself really hard so it's normal for me to be sore._

Bett nodded.

 **Barry:** _Don't tell Iris please._

“Why not?”

 **Barry:** _She worries, then she'll tell Felicity and they'll both worry._

“That's true, but i honestly think you and Iris need better communication.”

 **Barry:** _Iris and I can communicate just by looking at each other._

“Yeah. I forgot you guys _can_ communicate, you just deny everything and think not talking about things mean they don't exist.” she said a little too honestly.

 **Barry:** _It's complicated._

“No it's not. Listen Barry, she waiting on _you_. If you don't put on your big boy pants and talk to her, she will move on. Then you'll end up being the man of honour at her wedding to like Detective Prettyboy  or something.”

 **Barry:** _You say all that like it's easy._

“Iris Thawne has a really nice ring to it, doesn't it?” She mused as she carried their bowls to the sink.

Barry didn't say anything to her.

“look, Barry. I just want you to be happy and if you don't confront these feelings in some way you're going to be miserable. I have a children's book to finish.” she sighed and moved across the room to give him a hug.

Barry frowned and texted her again.

 **Barry:** _Book? What happened to doing portraits?_

“I wasn't good enough, so I went back to what I'm good at, and apparently that's simplistic children's book illustrations.”

 **Barry:** _Your paintings are amazing._

“I don't want to talk about it.”

 **Barry:** _Maybe another time. Show me the book when it's done._

Bett left the apartment then and Barry sighed, there was definitely something going on with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So had a bunch of coma care + recovery research for my other fic (Running in Circles) and I decided it needed to be put to more use. Hope you guys like it! P.s. I kinda destroyed canon a little more to pull this off lol.


	11. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah confronts Barry. Bett's father is in the picture and something weird happens to Barry's body when he kisses Iris.
> 
> OR THE ONE WHERE THEY FINALLY KISS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cw: this chapter contains ablist slurs and other languge that may be offensive/hurtful to those with disabities and/or mental illness.

It was another month before Barry regained his speech.“Sarah, you really don't have to do that…” Barry followed behind her.

Sarah was gathering up laundry and putting it into the hamper. She grabbed a pair of socks off the floor and tossed them in.

“It's fine, sweetie. I came down to help so that's what I'm going to do.” She tossed a t-shirt into the hamper.

“I'm in a wheelchair, I can do my laundry.”

“Stop making a fuss!” she rolled her eyes. “Also, don't even think about ordering pizza I'm cooking you and Iris a real meal tonight.”

“Oh is Iris coming over?” he asked innocently.

“I've been staying at her house. You think I don't notice that she never comes home?” Sarah gave him a knowing look.

“Right.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“What is going on between you two anyways?”

“What uh … what do you mean? I don't get what you're asking.” He lied very poorly and chewed his thumb.

“Listen, honey.” Sarah placed a pair of boxers into the hamper before pulling the bag out of it. “You think Joseph and I don't notice the way you look at her? Or do you think I don't know how you two play house? Iris tells me _everything,_  Barry.”

Barry sighed heavily.

“Do we have to talk about this?” asked Barry.

“Yes, because if you break that girls heart I will kill you.”

“I don't think that's possible.”

“I think she’s right, you are afraid of being happy.”

“I'm happy.” Barry argued, crossing his arms.

“Alright Barr. I'm going to bring this to Joe's. You keep living in your fantasy world.” She disappeared out if the bedroom.

When Iris got off of work she found Barry seated on the sofa.

“Hey Barr.” She came to join him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “How was your day?”

“It was okay.” He replied and as he spoke Iris headed into the bedroom and started to change out of her work clothes

“Really? I heard Sarah came by.” she pulled her shirt over her head and started to dig through her drawer which had recently been filled again. When she couldn't find any shirts she could lounge in she ditched her pants and grabbed some leggings.

“Oh yeah. _That_. That was fun. How was your day?”

“Annoying. That guy was back.” She pulled on the leggings she’d grabbed.

“What guy?”

“The one that I used you to scare off that one time.” She took off her bra and shoved it inside the drawer before moving to Barry’s shirt drawer and ‘stole’ a plain green shirt from it.

“Oh I'm sorry.”

“Thank God Eddie was there, he used some police talk to scare the guy off.” She exited the room and plopped herself on the sofa beside Barry.

_Iris Thawne has a nice ring to it doesn't it?_

Bett’s voice echoed in Barry’s thoughts for a moment and he felt a bit jealous.

“Do you think Bett would like him?” asked Barry.

“Uh, no. She has some kind of cop-phobia.” Iris moved to lay her head into his lap.

“Yeah. I picked up on that a while back.”

“Really? What happened? I called in a wellness check and she pretty much told me where I could shove it.” Iris took one of his hands and began to play with it absentmindedly.

“Oh well it's just…”

“ _Yes_?”

“It's kind of personal. I don't think she would want me telling people too much, but she asked me to call her and get her out of a situation. However she she kind of panicked when I offered to help and refused to file a restraining order.”

“Maybe she's a runaway mob grunt.” Iris joked lightly, unsure of how to respond to that information.

"That’s not even the most questionable thing about her. I saw Todd in the hall the other day and he was just… jiggling a plate of orange Jell-o. I hope he's not using again.”

“No, he's just obsessed with Jell-o. Apparently his parents were like these god-fearing hippies and told him that sugar was the devil and he didn't know jell-o existed. He’s extremely sheltered.”

“So we’re believing that story now?”

“It's the only one we've got so.” She shrugged. “I wish I knew her last name though.”

“Me too, but … I don't think she wants to be connected to her family and I kind of want to respect her.” Barry wove his fingers with Iris’s.

“You just want to help everyone.” She smiled and kissed the back of his hand. Barry closed his eyes.

How long could they keep doing this? When he started walking, would she move out again? Would they go their separate ways again.

Iris sat up.

“So, should I order Pizza?”

“Sarah is insisting on cooking for us.”

The room was quiet for only a few minutes before Sarah arrived and took over the apartment.

* * *

"My physical therapist keeps saying I need to make a goal. Something to work towards." he complained as he wheeled himself through the open door to her apartment. “Zach says ‘walking’ isn't good enough and I need to be more specific.”

  
Bett sat herself up on the counter and grabbed herself a push pop from the freezer.   
  
"I'm sure you have _something_ you want to do. Like being able to have Froot Loops whenever you want.”   
  
"You know, you're right, my main goal in life is to be able to return to being your tall errand boy."   
  
"Actually I have a tall girlfriend now so you're off the hook." she said around a mouthful of ice cream.   
  
His hand went to his chest and he feigned an offended expression.   
  
"You're just going to replace me like that? I was only gone for _seven_ months. After everything we've been through. I thought we had something special."   
  
"You knew what this was, Allen.” she said in a tone that mimicked seriousness but she laughed.

Barry laughed with her.

“Who's here, Bett?” Todd came into view.

“I'm Barry Allen. You must be Todd.” he grinned and offered a hand. He had seen him on Iris’s Instagram.

“Oh you're the reason Iris and Bett wouldn't stop crying.” he spoke without realising how socially inappropriate that was to say.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Barry couldn't shake the feeling of unease he felt looking at the man. “Well, I'm going to head home. I have to feed the cats.”

When Barry got back to the apartment Iris was reading a magazine on the sofa, Wells sat comfortably in her lap.

“You can go home if you want.” he told her, but he was honestly hoping she would stick around.

“I'm fine. Do you _want_ me to leave?” she asked.

Barry hesitated and stared at the floor.

“Barry. I’m done playing games.” she sighed, exasperated. “Just tell me what you want. If you want me to stay say so, it doesn't have to mean anything.”

“I want you to stay.”

“That was easy, wasn't it?” she scratched Well’s chin as she spoke. “Now, how about we figure out what to do for dinner?”

“Sure. How about we order a pizza?”

“That's fine by me.” She shrugged and moved the cat from her lap so she could stand.

“I'm really sorry, Iris.” Barry said after she ordered for delivery.

“About?”

“Just… everything.”

Iris frowned.

“What do you mean?” silence hung in the air and Barry pushed himself to the fridge and got himself a beer.

“Nothing.” he shrugged it off

When the pizza arrived they sat at the kitchen table, the sun had just started to go down and Barry was quiet. A fact that Iris decided to point out.

“You're being oddly quiet.”

“Hmm?” Barry glanced up from the spot on the wall he’d been staring at.

“You're being quiet.”

“I'm just thinking.”

“You're not thinking, you're frustrated.”

“I'm fine.”

“You're doing that thing again.” She took a bite of her pizza, watching him with a knowing look.

“What?”

“The thing where you act like you're talking to someone other than the person who can tell what you're feeling by the way you breathe.”

“Look Iris, there are things I can't talk to you about and you're going to have to deal with that.” he finished his slice of pizza.

“I can't deal with that because we both know the  only reasons you won't talk to me are because it's _me_. You don't have to protect me and there’s nothing you could say that would change us. We’re Barry and Iris and that's how it's always going to be.”

“What do you want me to say? That I'm frustrated? I'm frustrated.”

“Yes. I want you to be honest with me, Barry. That's the only thing I want.”

Barry sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I already talked to my doctor about it… I'm having a lot of pain. I can't sleep, so it's very frustrating and I have a million things I need to do and I want to get back to work…”

“You could have just told me that.”

"Now you're going to worry, and tell Felicity and make her worry too.” he leaned back in his chair slightly.

“Of course I'm going to worry you're my best friend.” she crossed her arms.

“I'm sorry I left you to deal with everything on your own.”

“That's not your fault, Barry.”

He moved around to the sofa and sat himself down beside her.

“I would have been there for you if I could have.”

“I know, Barr.”

Another month passed and Barry graduated to a cane. He headed down the hall and frowned when he saw an older man with Bett.

“Barry,” she smiled and waved to him.

The man whispered but not quietly enough.

“What happened to him?”

“I was struck by lightning.” Barry answered when he got closer.

“Sucks.”

“Yeah, hey Bett are you still good to come by and help me with my laundry later?” he asked then looked at the older man with her. “The nobs on the machine are kind of tight and I don't have the best grip anymore.”

“Of course, Barry. I'll come by in a half hour, does that work?” she smiled.

“Yeah, thanks again.” He smiled and headed back to his apartment.

* * *

“Hey Barr-”

“Who is that guy?” Barry asked, not even letting her finish.

“My dad.”

“Why is he here? Are you okay?” he pressed .

“You don't really need help with your laundry, do you?” she crossed her arms.

“No. I don't want you getting hurt again.”

“I'm a big girl I can take care of myself.”

“I never said you couldn't--” he tried but she was gone.

* * *

“Did you just walk in here on your own?” asked Caitlin, her tone extremely surprised when Barry walked into the Medbay, heavily leaning on his cane.

“Yeah, I mean I had my cane and all but it's just me. I wanted to give Iris and Joe a break.” he made his way to the exam table.

“That's… amazing. The rate at which you're regaining muscle strength and control is almost unheard of.” she began the exam, bending his arm arm at the elbow and feeling the muscle in his arm.

“Zach did say I'm recovering fast but he also said he’s never worked with a coma patient as young as me.”

“This is amazing. At this rate I don't see why you wouldn't be walking unassisted in another month or two.”

“That's good.” he agreed he looked at her sour expression for a moment.

“What?”

“I just noticed you don't smile too much.”

“I don't have anything to smile about. My career is ruined and the same accident that put you in a coma paralyzed my boss and killed my fiance.” she began to check his other arm.

“I'm sorry.”

* * *

Barry headed over to the Codwells and knocked on the door. Pat answered.

“Barry!” he grinned and threw his arms around Barry. “You're walking today.”

“Yes I am, just started walking a few days ago. I had to come see how you guys were doing.” he leaned on his cane a bit as he spoke, not wanting to fall in front of him.

“If it's okay with your mom we can sit on the grass and read Bluejay with you guys, before it gets too cold.”

“I don't think Parker would want to.”

“Barry!” Heather grinned coming into view. “So great to see you up and moving!” she hugged him carefully.

“Glad to be on my feet.” he smiled. “Wanted to ask you if the boys could come read today.”

“Absolutely. Pat does that sound fun? I'll go ask Parker.”  she turned to head to the boy’s room.

“Parker, honey. Barry is on his feet and he wants to see you--” Parker dropped the book he was reading and ran to the back door, throwing his arms around Barry and his his face against his torso, nearly knocking Barry off his feet.

“Hey, buddy. It's good to see you.”

“Don't leave me all alone again.” said Parker seriously.

Barry frowned deeply and patted the boy’s hair with one hand.

“I won't, I promise.”

Parker nodded and decided to join Pat and Barry in reading the comics.

They sat on the grass for a few hours, they still had a handful of issues to catch up on since Barry had been gone for so long. As they read Barry noticed the small collection of thin hair that had started to grow on Pat’s upper lip. It surprised him how much the boys had grown up since he first met them.

When Barry walked the boys back to their apartment he stopped to talk to Heather.

“How old are the boys now?” he asked her. “This year has been kind of mess for me.”

“They’ll be eleven soon, in a week actually.”

“Oh man.” Barry laughed.

“I know! I swear, it was just yesterday when I brought them home from the hospital. They grow up too fast.”

“I just wanted to say that… if you need someone to help with guy stuff… I'm pretty independant now and can help. I noticed Pat is starting to grow some hair on his face. I was about twelve or so when Joe taught me how to shave.”

"Oh, yeah. I was actually going to ask you about that because I have never shaved a face.” She laughed lightly.

“Yeah, whenever you feel like they're ready I can teach them.” he smiled. “I need to get back and make a few phone calls but you know where to find me.”

* * *

When Barry entered his flat he could hear Iris’s voice in the bedroom.

“Yeah, he actually _is_ doing that well! We’re actually about to celebrate a friends birthday I'll send pictures from that.”

Barry considered leaving, but she seemed to just be talking about his recovery so he went to the fridge and got himself a bottle of water.

“He started walking with the cane a few days ago I think-- Yeah even his doctor was surprised. Alright, well I have a college class to get to but it was great catch up with you. Yeah. Mhhm. Goodbye Felicity.” Iris headed out into the living room where Barry sat on the sofa.

“Felicity worries about you a lot.” Iris informed him.

“Yeah,” he laughed. “sorry about that.”

“Oh no it's fine. I love her! She’s an adorable nerd like you.” Iris smiled and headed over to the sofa, standing behind it. “She’s good for you I think.”

“Yeah, it's nice to have a science adult to talk to.” he laughed a little. “You should have seen Oliver’s face when we talked about computer stuff in front of him.” he smiled fondly at the memory of Oliver trying, failing, and then giving up on keeping up with than two science enthusiasts.

“I'm still not really over the fact that you're friends with _Oliver Queen_.”

“Well it's kind of hard to save someone's life and not become friends with them.”

“What?” Iris’s eyebrows pulled together and Barry regretted having spoken.

“Oh… I didn't tell you that story yet.” he tried to think of a way to say it without really lying. “Oliver was poisoned and I managed to administer a treatment.”

“Wow.”

“He can be a real pill though.”

“Anyways. As great as that story is, I have to get to class. You good?” she picked up her purse from the kitchen table.

“I'm good.”

Iris moved back to the sofa and kissed his cheek.

“Okay, make sure you do your exercises and I'll be back around four.” She called as she headed out.

Bohr stumbled out of the bedroom and made his way up into Barry’s lap.

“Hey buddy.” Barry smiled and scratched his head. “You gonna miss me when I go back to work?” he kissed his head.

* * *

Barry knocked on the door to Bett’s apartment a few times and waited for her to answer.

“Yes, tall man do you need something?” she asked teasingly.

“You were right. I'm going to talk to Iris. I'm ready, but I need your help.”

Bett grinned and stepped to the side.

“Step into my office. Hopeless cases are my specialty.”

Barry headed inside and waved to Todd who sat on the sofa, playing with the green Jell-o he was eating.

“Hey, Barry!” he grinned.

“Alright.” Bett cracked her knuckles. “What's your plan?”

Barry felt his cheeks get a bit warm in embarrassment.

“I didn't actually get that far.” he confessed, avoiding her eyes.

“Oh boy…” she sighed and moved to sit on the sofa,

“You're trying to catch the attention of a lady?” asked Todd.

“Um, kind of.”

“Have you tried fighting for her?”

“Yeah I'm not really great with that.”

“You could always try Bear Pelts.” he took another bite of jell-o.

“What?”

“Give her bear pelts to prove your ability to provide for her.”

“Wha-” he started but Bett cut him off.

“He has an audition coming up ignore him.”

* * *

Meanwhile, Iris headed into the precinct and leaned against Eddie's  desk her father was meant to be out to lunch.

“Hey Iris, everything all right with Barry?”

“Yeah Dad, I'm actually waiting for someone.”

“Who?”

“Hey, Iris. Are you read-- hi Detective West.” he smiled awkwardly, he hoped Joe wouldn't put up too much of a fuss..

“How about I wait by the car?”

Eddie shot her a pleading look but she had already disappeared.

“What exactly are your intentions with my daughter?”

“I don't really have any, sir. I actually thought she was in a relationship. My mom knows a seamstress who owes her a favor so we got Pat a Bluejay costume, we’re going to pick it up and then I'm dropping her off at the Twin’s party after we have a totally not-date lunch.”

“I'm got my eye on you.” Joe replied.

* * *

The ground shook and Iris grabbed Barry’s arm to steady herself.

“These earthquakes are getting out of control!” Iris complained.

“Yeah.” He agreed as he started to pick up a pot that had fallen off the counter “Parker and Pat are coming over today.”

“Oh that's nice.”

“I'm teaching them how to shave.”

"Aw, that's sweet.”  

When the boys arrived Barry showed them to his tiny bathroom.

“Pat put a little bit of this on your face and tell me if it burns.” He passed Pat a ‘natural’ shaving cream.

“It doesn't hurt.” Pat informed him.

“Okay.” He nodded.

“First you guys need to wet your faces.” He splashed some cold water on his face and waited for the boy’s to imitate him.

Pat stepped up first and splashed some of the water in his face, then Parker did as well.

He squirted a bit of shaving cream into each of their hands and then into his own.

“Rub your fingers together until it turns white and then you're going to rub it onto your face. _Never_ shave your face without shaving cream.” He smeared the cream onto his cheeks and then over his chin and his upper lip.

He watched as the boys followed suit. Iris entered the bathroom and the light next to her camera was glowing.

“Are you recording this?” Barry accused.

“This is a milestone!”

Barry rolled his eyes, washed the excess shave cream from his hands and dried them off.

“ _Iris_!” Pat complained.

“Take a picture of us!” Said Parker, grinning.

Barry, Pat and Iris were surprised by Parker’s reaction. Barry passed Iris his phone and grabbed his cane again. He had been leaning on the counter before.

“Barry, can you bend down a little? You're so tall. It's okay if you can't.”

“Barry can lean on us if he thinks he might fall down.” said Pat.

Barry crouched down slightly and put his arms around the boys who grinned as iris took the picture. Barry sat up quickly and gripped his cane again to rest for a moment before he opened the two new disposable razors he’d gotten and passed them to the boys.

“Now listen, his is very important. These blades are _very_ sharp. Only shave downwards on your face, in short strokes, don't move any other way.” He carefully started to drag his own razor in short strokes over his cheek. “After every third pass or so you'll want to rinse the blade so the hairs don't get too stuck in the blades.”

The boys followed Barry’s instruction. When the boys were done Barry sat down on the edge of the tub and called them over one at a time to help them shave under their chins.

“There we go. All finished.” Barry smiled and wiped their faces with a towel.

“Thanks Barry.” Parker smiled.

* * *

Barry emerged from the elevator on a Tuesday afternoon, hoping to catch up on some or the work he’d missed. 

“Barry!” Eddie headed over to the elevator when he saw him. “So great to see you! On your feet too, huh? How are you feeling buddy?”

Barry smiled.

“It’s good to see you too. I'm actually feeling great!” Barry replied. “Joe isn't in, is he?”

“No we are in the clear.”

“Good.” Barry headed into the office and went to speak to the Captain who was glad to see him back.

A few minutes later an officer came into the precinct, pulling a crying child behind him. Barry turned and saw that it was Pat in his Bluejay costume. He moved out of the Captain’s office.

“Officer Birde let go of him.” He said firmly.

“He's fine, kids always cry like this when they think they're in trouble.” Birde had his hands on Pat’s shoulders, roughly holding him still as he struggled to get away from the touch.

“You're hurting him.”

“I'm barely touching him, calm down, Spaz.” the officer rolled his eyes.

“He has a sensory problems you are _hurting_ him.”

“How would you know? What does that even mean?”

“He’s my neighbor.”

“Whatever he’s fine.”

“Unless you want Oliver Queen’s best lawyers on you I would let go of him. He isn't going to run off he's a good kid, and you are hurting him.”

“You don't know Oliver Queen.” Birde scoffed.

Pat tried to pull away from the officers grasp.

Barry glared at him for a moment before pulling out his phone and calling a number. He set it to speaker.

“Queen Consolidated; How may I direct your call?” came a male voice from the phone.

“Please put me through the the CEO Oliver Queen.”

"He asked me to hold his phone calls.”

“Tell him it's Barry Allen and it's urgent, he'll take my call.” Barry sighed.

A few seconds later another voice came through the phone.

“Hey Barr it's Oliver. what's the emergency?”

“Hey, Ollie. How fast can you get me a lawyer?” Barry asked, not breaking eye contact with officer Birde.

“I can email my family lawyer right now or I think Tommy’s old lawyer recently relocated to Central City.”

“Tommy who?”

“Tommy Merlyn. His dad is Malcolm Merlyn. I grew up with him.”

“Are you going to get your hands off of Pat or are is my friend Oliver going to contact his lawyers and get your charged with excessive force? We could probably swing assault on a minor too because you're causing significant distress. Let. Him. Go.”

Officer Birde let the boy go with a slight shove and he ran up to Barry who wrapped an arm around him.

“Actually it looks like neither will be necessary. Thanks Oliver. I’ll get in touch with you later.” he closed his phone and turned to Pat. “Its okay buddy. It's going to be okay. Why don't you go sit down and I'll be there in a second okay? Officer Birde won’t bother you anymore.”

Pat went over to the chair and pulled his knees into his chest and covered his ears.

“What is wrong with him is he retarded or something?”

That struck a nerve with Barry.

“You don't talk about him like that. You have pushed me around my entire life, and I don't care, but you do not say a _word_ about him.”

“What are you going to do, Spazz? Get me fired like Ralph?”

“Try me.” Barry turned and went to sit with Pat. “Its okay. I think Officer Harris brought Misty in. Do you want to pet her for a little bit?”

Pat shook his head and they waited for Heather to arrive. Which didn't take long.

“What exactly did he do?” asked Heather.

“He nearly got caught in crossfire.” said Birde, putting on his professional facade. “He was playing superhero I guess. He’s not in any real trouble but you should have a talk with him about leaving criminals to us.”

“Thank you officer.”

Barry followed them into the elevator.

“Pat it's okay I'm not mad at you.” she tried to assure her son who was still visibly upset, now rubbing his shoulder with one hand, not saying anything.

“That's not why he's upset. I had to pull officer Birde off of him with the threat of legal action.” said Barry. “I hate that guy.”

“I’m glad you were there.”

“Me too.”

* * *

“You seem different.” Iris commented as he entered the apartment.

“I want to talk.” he took a deep breath and crossed the kitchen to meet her, his hands were starting to feel a bit clammy but he stood up straight. “About-- about _us_ \-- I know I'm a hundred years late and I keep fucking this up but I really want- I just um-- well I-- You know. This should be easy. I’m sorry--” he was cut off from his rambling.

“Barry,” Iris carefully brought her hands up to cup his face. “breathe.” a smile pulled at the edges of her mouth. “It’s okay, just breathe and say what you want to say.”

He didn’t have any words left. He just started at her for a moment, sitting in the front room of his apartment. He just couldn't shake the feeling he got in his chest when he looked at her. Every time she asked him what he wanted, he just wanted to tell her to stay.

He leaned forward slightly and then stopped, moving to pull back slightly.

“It’s okay.” Iris started up at him.

He leaned down and his lips met hers. He pressed closer to her, one hand gently cupping her cheek. She stood up on her toes to reach him, her arms going around his neck.

Pulling back slightly, he could feel her breath on his lips. He leaned back in and caught her lips again, this time with a little more urgency. She pushed herself up onto the counter so she wouldn't have to crane her neck.

His hands hesitantly came to rest on her thigh and she sighed into his mouth. She slowly licked across the seam of his lips until they parted and allowed her to deepen the kiss. She pulled away just enough to giggle softly.

“Who’s calling you? Your phone is vibrating against my le-”

He pulled his hand back and looked at it and before Iris could blink his phone was in his hand. He pulled away from her and pretended to answer his phone.

“Yes?” He said, his breathing a bit heavy. He looked at Iris “I have to go.”

“What--why?”

“I just-- I have to go.” Barry rushed out the back door, running around to the back of the buildings where the small garages were. Barry didn't spend much time on this side of the building as he didn't have a car. He started down at his hand which had started vibrating again.

“What … ” he blinked and he collided face first with one of the garage doors. He quickly collected himself and ran to S.T.A.R. Labs.

He stopped when he saw Cisco in the Cortex, he stopped and quickly leaned against the wall for support he didn't need.

“How did you get in here?” he asked Barry.

“I just walked in… the door was actually open, not just unlocked but open… is Dr. Snow here?” he asked.

Caitlin appeared from one of the side rooms in the Cortex.

“Hello Barry, something I can do for you?” she asked curiously.

“Can I talk to you… about … private medical stuff … ” he trialled off awkwardly.

“I'm out.” said Cisco heading into his workshop.

“What seems to be the problem Mr. Allen?” her eyebrows pulled together.

“Well, something… happened just now and I mean just now like maybe fifteen minutes ago.”

“You're going to have to be more specific or I can't help you.”

“Well you see I was sort of … with a girl and my body freaked out.”

“Premature ejaculation isn’t all that uncommon. I can recommend some treatments.” she shrugged. “I wouldn't worry about it and I’m sure she'll understand.”

“Wha-no! ” he began to babble. “That’s … That's not what I meant--I didn't--I did not do _that_!”

“Care to elaborate then?” she gestured for him to sit down on the bed.

“Well for one,” he crossed the room unassisted and sat down. “I don't even have a limp anymore.”

“Hmm.” she shunned as she started to examine his arms. “Your muscles seem to be in constant flux. Take off your shirt.”

Barry removed his shirt and looked down at himself.

“I have abs.” he paused. “Listen. I didn't have those when I woke up this morning.”

“That’s… not common.” she pushed on one his stomach a little, as if seeing if the muscles were real. “When was the last time you peed?”

Barry seemed thrown off by the question but reluctantly answered.

“Er--um this morning? Probably?”

Dr. Snow thrust a collection cup into his hands.

“I need you to urinate in this.”

He nodded and headed into the bathroom.

When he returned a few minutes later with the cup he asked:

“Where should I put this?”

She took it from him and put it on her work space on the left side if the cortex.

“Now tell me what you mean by your body ‘freaking out’.”

“Well… I was with a girl. Well not just a girl _the_ girl I’ve been in love with for-- not relevant.” He started, rubbing the back of his neck. Using the word _kissing_ felt almost juvenile to him but didn't know a better way to say it. “Then she told me my phone was vibrating against her leg, but it was actually my hand. I ran out and then suddenly I was running really fast, I ran into one of the garage doors outside my apartment.” He lifted up his hand and managed to vibrate it again.    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took longer than I expected because I had to stop and draw Barry and the twins with shaving cream in their faces ... also it felt a little rushed but now I can start working on bigger plot points!


	12. Just a Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weight if Barry's secrets is crushing him. Without Joe or Iris to support him he is on his own and it's breaking him apart. He knows Iris deserves better but he can't let her go. He doesn't know how. On top of everything his newest rival is just a kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I keep lying to myself and saying I'll let Barry be happy? I believe myself everytime too. I'm trying xD 
> 
> Seondly, shout out to RoseyAshes again who helped me pick a full name for Eddie. That was an adventure. Edsel Elmo Thawne and Edsel Guy Thawne were close seconds.
> 
> Edit: I'm off hiatus! I'll have the next chapter very soon.

Soon they began running tests on Barry’s new powers, causing him to be out of the apartment more and more. Over the next few weeks Barry became more and more in control of his powers.

Barry, (who continued to use his cane to avoid suspicion, as people had already noticed his unusually speedy recovery) and Iris were heading home from a Saturday afternoon movie when Barry sensed it, and oncoming car. He quickly pulled Iris out of the way, throwing them both into the cement sidewalk. Then, he was gone. He made an attempt the catch the suspect but he disappeared under a cloud of fog. When the Police arrived, Joe and Barry got into a fight.

“Clyde Mardon was not here controlling the weather, Barr. Just like there was no one in your house that night!”

“My dad did _not_ kill my mom.”

“Yes he did kill your mother! I'm sorry son but that's how it is. I have done my best take care of you I have never asked for a thing in return. Not even a _thank you_. All I ask is that you for once in your life see things as they are!”

“Dad that's enough!” Iris moved to stand in front of Barry, as if she could shield him from her father's words with her body.

“No.” Joe replied pointedly.

Barry stormed off and Iris tried to catch up, she grabbed his hand but he pulled away.

“Just don't.”

Suddenly the ground was trembling and Barry caught Iris before she fell.

“What the-- how did you do that?”

“I've been working out between PT sessions, you know I don't really like my body.” It was only a half lie so he could pull it off.

“Barry there's nothing wrong with your body -- thanks for catching me though.” she tried to reach out to him again, but once again she was rejected.

“Are we really going to do this again, Barry?” she asked her voice softer than she had meant it.

“I just don't want to be touched. I'm angry. You should get back to your dad.” He said before continuing on his way. He needed to talk to Wells about Clyde Mardon.

When Iris returned to her dad, Eddie was showing him a police sketch of Clyde Mardon.

“I think you owe Barry an apology.” said Iris Firmly.

“Don't give me an attitude right now, Iris.” Joe warned.

“You really hurt him.”

“Iris, Barry’s a grown man. He will get over it I am working. I'll see you tonight.”

“No you won’t. I'm staying at Barry’s tonight, you knew that.” Iris turned around and started to come back the way she came.  

* * *

Iris and Barry laid in bed that night, awake and staring at the ceiling. After a few minutes she turned over and ran one finger in a loop on his upper arm.

“Yes?” he asked, unable to keep a smile from his face despite the terrible day he had just had.

“I believe in you and your dad, Barry. I always have. You know that, don't you?” She slid her hand across his chest and up to find his face in the dark.

“I don't want to talk about it.” He sighed and closed his eyes at her touch.

“Where did you go today?”

“I went to S.T.A.R. Labs. They still want to keep working with me. So I walked on the treadmill there for a bit.”

“Maybe I could come in and watch sometime.”

“I'll talk to Caitlin and see what she thinks.”

“Caitlin?”

“Dr. Snow.”

“Oh. You're on a first name basis now?”

“Well, yeah. Wells is talking about me coming to work at S.T.A.R. Labs.”

“She's pretty.” Iris commented, starting to play with Barry’s hair.

“I guess?”

“She's pretty science smart too.”

“Well she's a biochemist.”

“You spend a lot of time with her.”

Barry frowned, was Iris … jealous? He didn't want her to feel jealous. It definitely wasn't like her.

“She’s no Iris West.”

Barry felt Iris move closer to him and press a kiss to his cheek. He smiled and turned his head to face her. One hand moved up into her hair, pushing it out of the way so he could lean on and--

“Barry?”

“Yeah?”

“Barry?”

* * *

“Barry”

‘Barry Allen? _Hello?_ ” Caitlin shook his shoulder.

Barry slowly woke up, pulling himself into a sitting position and rubbing his face. He took a look around the room, trying to gather his bearings and remember the previous day.

“What are you--”

“You’re in the Medbay. You slept here and your phone is ringing off the hook. Iris probably thinks You're dead in a ditch!”

Barry scrambled for his phone which had started ringing again.

“Hello?” he mumbled.

“ _Bartholomew Henry Allen_ I thought you were dead! Where the hell are you? where have you been?”

“I'm with Caitlin.” He mumbled tiredly.

“When did you get on a first name basis with your doctor?”

Barry groaned and pulled himself into a sitting position. He tried to process the previous night’s events. When Caitlin started to lock up he told her he was going to run some more and wound up sleeping there.

“Where are you?” he rubbed his face groggy and moved himself into a standing position,

“I'm at your apartment, waiting for you to get home. We were supposed to do dinner.”

“I'm sorry. Yesterday was a mess.”

"Can you come home soon, please?”

When Barry arrived back at the flat he headed inside. Iris looked exhausted and guilt twisted in his stomach. He wasn't sure what to say.

“So you were just with _Caitlin_ all night?” Iris demanded. “Barry I was worried. I thought something had happened to you.”

“No it wasn't like that. Caitlin and Wells are the first to get to the lab and Caitlin is usually the last to leave. She left and I fell asleep in the Medbay. She found me this morning and woke me up.”

“Why couldn't you call me? Or text me? I didn't hear from you for almost twenty hours, after that whole thing with my dad? I was worried.”

“I'm fine Iris.”

“You need to communicate with me. I may not need to know where you are all the time, but after a day like yesterday you can't just drop off the radar like that.”

“You're right, I'm sorry. I should have told you I was staying late at the Lab. I knew you were waiting up for me and I didn't call.”

Iris sighed and ran a hand through her hair before crossing the room to hug him.

“I'm sorry about my dad … I still believe in you and your dad. I'm glad you're safe. I need to get some sleep.”

He returned the embrace, burying his face into her hair. He wanted to tell her everything but he couldn't. He didn't deserve Iris, he didn't think so anyways. She deserved better than the lies and the flight risk. She deserved stable and dependable.

“I'm sorry.” his arms tightened around her with an urgency that Iris more than noticed.

* * *

Barry was frantically moving about the CCPD crime lab, trying to catch up on the work he had fallen behind on.

“Hey.” Iris smiled, appearing in the lab. She was all dressed up, which Barry noticed right away. He stared at her, his jaw practically hanging open. “What are you starting at?”

“You look amazing.”

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes. “Why are you wearing a t-shirt and jeans?” she looked him over. Recognising that he wasn't dressed up.

“What … The _thing_!” he sighed.

“How fast can you get home and change?” asked Iris.

“Uh… fairly quickly.” He winced. “Sorry I'm kind of dizzy.” He admitted.

Iris crossed the room and placed a hand on his arm.

“Are you okay? Maybe you should lay down. I can record Stag’s speech.” She suggested.

“No it's fine. I'll just go change.” He said before heading out.

When they arrived at the event, Iris slid her arm around his and Barry smiled.

“You good?” she asked.

“Yeah I'm good.”

The gunmen arrived soon after and at lightning speed Barry went after them, subsequently fainting. When Iris found him she helped him inside.

“Where were you?” Joe demanded.

“Look dad, go easy on him. He fainted.”

“You fainted?”

Eddie offered him a medic.

“No.”

“Barry, go see the medic.” Joe was not offering, he was telling.

“Ambulances give me anxiety. You know, struck by lightning almost died.”

“You'll deal--”

“I said _no_ okay?” Barry said seriously, closing his eyes tightly as another dizzy spell washed over him.

“I'll talk to him.” Iris pulled Barry off to the side.

“Barry I know you're mad at him but take the medic.”

“I don't want any doctors besides Caitlin touching me. Besides, ambulances give me anxiety. You know, I almost died in one.”

“Barr.” She sighed.

“Listen we can talk about it at home. Are you still coming over for dinner?” he rubbed the back of his neck as he looked around the room.

“I don't understand why you’re--” but he was gone.

* * *

“Are we going to talk now?” Iris asked, standing from the sofa when he arrived home.

“Listen um.” he rubbed the back of his neck again. He stupidly hadn't thought of anything to say to her yet.

“Well?”

“The lightning … did things to my body. It changed me.” He took a deep breath and considered his next words very carefully.

“What do you mean it … changed you?” her eyebrows pulled together.

“I have a very serious chronic arrhythmia.”

“So your heart still beats all weird?”

“Chronic means lasting a long time or forever.” Barry nodded. “If I had gone to the ambulance they would have rushed me to the hospital and tried to fix it.” He explained. “It’s really bad and that's why I keep getting dizzy and they can't fix it..”

“Is that why you stayed overnight at S.T.A.R labs a few weeks ago?”

“Yeah.” He lied.

“Okay.” She sighed and crossed the room to pull Barry into a hug.

He wrapped his arms around her tightly, partially leaning on her to make it appear that he struggled slightly with it.

“I didn't say anything about it because my type of arrhythmia is really rare. Doctors will want to study it and I don't want to be a lab rat for a hundred doctors.” He pulled back and grabbed his cane again.

“Okay, your secret's safe with me.” She smiled a little when Bohr climbed up Barry’s back and sat on his shoulders Barry laughed and started the cats head.

“I know it's food time, buddy.” He laughed and headed over to the cabinet and getting a can of food. Wells emerged from his napping spot and came to eat.

* * *

“How could you lie to me, Barry Allen?” Caitlin demanded, shining a light into his eyes as she struggled to diagnose why Barry could be fainting. “You know better! You could be having heart failure or a mini stroke!”

“Calm down WebMD.” Cisco started but then she turned her icy look on him and all the blood drained from his face. “Ronnie was the only one who could make her that mad.” Cisco commented when she was gone.

Caitlin ran Barry through an array of tests until they finally settled on the conclusion that he wasn't eating enough to support his body.

“Can I ditch this yet?” Barry waved his cane slightly. “Using it now feels ... offensive.” he set it down, moving to sit in one of the chairs.

“Absolutely not. I had to bribe Zach to not tell his PT friends about your fast recovery. You need it for at least a couple more months.”

* * *

"I found a new article topic. Without your help.” Said Iris coldy when Barry arrived home from work.

“I'm sor-”

“I know you're sorry.” She replied seriously. “I’m reporting on the streak.”

“What?”

“The streak! I can't believe you haven't heard about him yet. He’s right up your alley.” She pulled out her laptop and started to show him the sightings.

“He’s running around and saving people from fires. The other day he put a mugger in the back of a police car.” She seemed excited.

“Oh that's cool.”

“You don't sound excited.” She frowned.

“I just… it makes me nervous.” He shrugged. “Be careful.” He headed into his room.

The ground shook beneath them again as another earthquake came and passed. His phone started to ring and he picked it up.

“Yeah. I'm on my way now.”

“I have to go to work. Another Gun crime.” he lied to Iris, and managed to get away with it.

“Those have been really bad lately. More than normal.” She frowned. “Yeah. There's some … gang activity.”

“I haven't heard about it on the news.”

“It’s a little more underground than normal, uh they're-- I have to go.” He headed out.

Soon Iris began spending most of her time talking about her blog. Barry decided it was time to do something, so the Flash paid her a visit.

“I heard you've been writing about me.” He smirked in the darkness.

Jitters had long since closed, it was dark and Iris was looking up. He had rushed in.

“Just let me clean up--” in a flash Barry zipped around the room, cleaning up every plate and mug

“Meet me in the roof, I'll give you a head start.” His voice was hidden by vibrating it. He winked at her but it was so dark he wasn't sure if she saw it.

Iris started to climb the stairs and made her way to the roof, once he was sure she was situated up there he speedforced his way to the top, sticking to the shadows to prevent himself from being recognised.

“I'm going to need you to stop writing about me.” He spoke clearly from where he stood on an upper part of the roof.

“Can _you_ stop? Running around and saving people?” she started to walk towards where he stood. She blinked and he was sitting on a fire escape above her head on the other side.

“There is more to this than you you know.” as he spoke, he drummed his fingers against the fire escape for a moment before he jumped down back onto the same level as Iris.

“I have this … guy in my life. Something really bad happened to him when we were eleven--”

The Flash was behind her in a instant. Iris glanced back at him.

“What happened was impossible, even I thought it was to an extent. People laughed at him, shrinks analysed him.”

Barry felt his emotions rising up inside him, he wanted to tell her.  _Iris, for me. Stop the blog._  He stayed composed though, not moving from his spot behind her. A part of him wanted to rip off his cowl and beg her to stop the blog, but he knew that wasn't an option.

“You're proof that he wasn't crazy. I'm doing this for him.” she said proudly, standing up a big straightener. Not even the ‘Streak’ could convince her to stop the blog.

The Flash stood there silently for a long moment, prompting Iris to turn around and face him.

“He's a lucky guy.” The Flash managed before disappearing. He arrived back at the Cortex, leaning against the wall he just stared at the floor for a bit. He _hated_ this.

“Those earthquakes around central city are being caused by a Meta-Human.” said Cisco as he entered the Cortex. “They're extremely localised. It took down a building today.”

“Okay, keep running the satellites until you find them.” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair anxiously.“Iris is starting to get suspicious.”

“Well, you can't tell her.” said Caitlin. “It's too risky.”

“Well I'm all alone, Caitlin. I am all on my own and I don't think I can do this! I've confronted Black twice and each time I failed, and now I've got to deal with Iris writing this blog and painting a target on her back!” he dropped his head into his hands. “I don't know what I'm supposed to do.”

The computer beeped and Cisco flung himself into the chair. “Black is at Stag Industries.” he announced. Barry hit the wall with the side of his fist.

“I'm going to have to go.” he disappeared, he couldn't just let Simon die without doing anything.

 

When he was gone  Wells began to make his way through the Cortex and up the elevator into his private office. He pulled out the phone and went through his things until he found the number he wanted. He dialed it easily and waited, he knew he would get an answer.

Back at Jitters Iris was still in the process of locking up for the night when her phone started to ring. She moved from the cash register and picked it up, glancing at the Caller ID. She frowned and worry washed over her when  she saw it was S.T.A.R. Labs.

“Hello this is Iris West.” she answered sweetly, moving the contents of the register to the safe under the counter near the silent alarm.

“Miss West, this is Harrison Wells, I'm not sure if you remember me well, I'm sorry to bother you at this hour.” There was something definitely off, he spoke like he had rehearsed this, it made Iris feel a little uneasy.

“You're kind of hard to forget.” Iris replied, she had only met him in person a handful of times, she spoke mainly with Caitlin and Cisco during her trips to S.T.A.R. Labs while Barry was comatose, but she obviously knew who he was.

“Well, I'm calling about Barry. It's extremely important so I hope you’ll lend us some of your time.” he spoke clearly. His voice having that same edge it did when he informed Barry of Iris’s frequent visits.

“Oh, of course. Is he okay?” Iris turned off the last of the lights and locked up the front of the shop as she spoke.

“Unfortunately no. I called him in for a bit of a study session to have a look at his heart again … but he's doubting himself, immensely. Dr. Snow says that Barry has mentioned you have a certain talent for pulling him out of ruts, I hope this is true.”  Dr. Wells glanced at his watch as he spoke.

“Oh. Yeah I guess I am sometimes.”

“I'm going to put you through to him.”

Iris agreed and waited patiently

* * *

“Listen, you don't have to do this.” said Barry, holding his hands up cautiously towards Danton Black. “You can walk away from this. Killing Simon Stag won't bring your wife back.” He moved to fight one of the clones that had advanced, but there were too many.

“I don't think I can do this you guys.” Barry informed Cisco and Caitlin as he dodged a few more of the clones.

“You need to find the prime. We talked about this, Barry. Stop trying to fight them all.” Caitlin spoken evenly.

“Barry?” Iris’s voice came over the Comms.

Barry pressed then comms, blinking. “Iris?”

“Hey, Dr. Wells said you're having a hard time.” as she spoke, Barry dodged an advance from one of the clones.

“I had to do something important but turns out I'm not good enough.” a fist met his face and he fell back. He pulled himself up, panting heavily into the comms.

“Barry Allen, we both know you can do anything once you've set your mind to it. I believe in you.” Barry could hear the sincerity in her voice. “Just focus on me. It's just you and me. I believe in you, I always have. I mean, you _ran_ to Iron Heights when you were eleven, just on sheer will. You can do this. Listen, it's only five, what time will you be done?”

“Uh, maybe seven or so.” he guessed, not sure what else to tell her.

“Well, how but you destroy this obstacle like we both know you can, and I'll come get you from S.T.A.R Labs in a few hours? We can watch Singing in the rain and eat junk food until we explode. You can do this, Barry. I know it.”

“Thanks Iris, I have to go.” he turned off the comms.

  
When Iris arrived at S.T.A.R. Labs The Flash’s suit was hidden away and Barry was seated in front the treadmill, catching his breath. He had spent some time on the treadmill at a normal speed to work up a real sweat.

Iris took in the sight of him, sweat visibly soaked the front of his S.T.A.R. Labs sweatshirt and he leaned forward slightly, his entire body rising and falling with his laboured breaths. She moved to sit beside him, one hand pushed his damp hair back.

“Well? How did it go?” she grinned at him, but before he could speak Dr. Wells appeared.

“Barry did exceptionally well.”

Iris leaned over and kissed Barry on cheek.

“See? I told you! Now let's get you home, you need a shower” she stood and Barry followed, grabbing his cane.

“Oh Barry, before you go.” said Caitlin. “at the rate you're recovering I don't see why you won't be walking on your own in the near future.” she smiled at him and Barry looked relieved. She knew how he felt about faking the cane.

 

When Iris and Barry returned to his apartment it was virtually silent apart from Bohr’s pleads for Barry’s attention. Barry laughed and scratched his head before heading to into his room to grab some clothes. He slid into the bathroom then and turned on the cold water, showing as quickly as he could and cooling down. He dried himself off and headed back to the front room where Iris was sitting.

“Feel better?” Iris asked, a soft smile on her lips as she patted the spot on the sofa next to her.

He couldn't  help but smile back, he quickly joined her. He pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa and laid carefully over them. Iris pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Iris situated herself so she sat in his lap and almost instinctively he pressed his face against her shoulder and tried to hold himself together. She sensed his urgency and humed softly as her fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry. Today was hard.” he confessed, his hands came up to cup her face as he pulled back. “Thank you for always being there for me.” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I knew you could do it Barr. You're doing so well.” she pressed her forehead to his and his stomach twisted up. He felt guilty, he didn't want to lie to her anymore. He worried his lies would drown him. He cupped her cheek with one hand and her eyes fell closed at the touch. “It's been a while since we just hung out like this. I miss it.” she kissed his cheek and she slid into his lap and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Iris leaned forward and caught his lips in a kiss. He was still under her lips and his gaze turned away when she pulled back. “What's wrong?.”

He stood but stopped, turning to her and kissing her forehead. “I'm sorry I can't right now. I have to get some air.” he grabbed his keys and headed out of the apartment.

* * *

When Caitlin arrived at  the lab to she was attempting to locate a file she had intended on taking home. She headed into the Cortex and into the bay across from the Medbay where she kept her work. The lights were low as she dug around in her files for the correct one.

She shrieked when she heard Barry’s voice. “Caitlin?”

She nearly jumped out of her skin, turning to face him.

“ _Barry Allen_!” her hand flying to her chest, she composed herself and smacked him in the arm with the file she held. “What the hell?”

“Sorry.”

She flipped on one of the lights and saw how red his eyes were around the edges.

“Are you okay?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Fi-ne.” his vice broke slightly and he leaned on the doorframe, trying to look casual. He wasn't really sure he wanted to air his dirty laundry all over Caitlin. “You alright? I didn't mean to freak you out, I just needed some air.”

“So, ‘getting air’ to you is sitting in the cortex at-” she checked her watch. “-nine PM and crying in the dark?” she pursed her lips. “Please give me some credit, Mr. Allen. I'm not that emotionally void.”

Barry stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor. A thousand thoughts floated through through his brain as he struggled for words.

“Iris and I have been together _forever_. We met in grade school and I don't know-- I attached myself to her and we've been Barry and Iris ever since. I've always been in love with her though, and then my mom died and I had to move in with her and her dad. He raised me, and even though we fight almost constantly; I love him.” he admitted.

“but not the same way you love Iris?” Caitlin assumed, moving to sit in one of the chairs, patting the one closest to her. “but I'm guessing that's not exactly what this is about.”

“Iris is one of the strongest people I know,” he started. “She has always defended me and believed in me despite everything. The only thing I ever hid were my feelings. We ended up in this weird limbo where we were both dating and not dating, I mean we loved together and shared a bed …” he ran a hand into his hair and rested his elbow on the table.

“So what's the problem?” her eyebrows pulled together.

“After everything, she's only ever asked me for one thing, and that's honesty. She can tell how I'm feeling by the way I breathe, and now I just keep lying to her. Before the accident I called her and told her I wanted to sort things out between us, finally. Then I was struck by lighting and she was there with me through all of it. Lying to her about the Flash I can handle to a extent because I know it keeps her safe … but everything else? The leg, ditching her all the time, the lies I have to pull out of my ass at the drop of a hat? I can't do that and figure out whatever is between us. I can't build another level to our relationship on all of these lies. I can't even look at her. I feel guilty when she touches me.”

Caitlin reached out and touched his arm.

“Then don't.” said Caitlin. “We all have to make sacrifices sometimes.”

“I don't know how, and I'm all alone with all of these lies.” he dropped his face into his hands.

“You're not all alone, Barry.” she gave his arm what she hoped was a comforting squeeze. “You have all of us here.”

* * *

Barry stood in the kitchen of his apartment, staring out the window. The apartment complex was quiet, but that wasn't unusual. His phone started to ring, he picked it and glanced at the caller ID. It was Eddie Thawne.

“Talk to me, Eddie.” he said, assuming it was for work.

“I don't mean to impose but do you think I could come by in about a half hour?” he asked much to Barry’s surprise.

“Um … Sure. I guess. Why though?”

“Well,” Eddie shrugged on his jacket, holding the phone between his face and his shoulder.”I want to talk to you but I don't want to make you go all the way to Jitters.”

“Okay. I'll see you in a bit then.”

Barry got to work doing his best to tidy up at super speed, he checked that the car boxes were clean, then wiped down the table. When the apartment was as clean as he could get it, he grabbed his cane again. He longed for the day he could leave the cane behind, not only did it get in the way, but faking a limp made him feel insanely guilty. Especially when Iris or his other family members refused to let him do things as he did before.

When Eddie arrived, Barry let him in.

“Hey Eddie, come on in. Have a seat anywhere … Bohr is kinda clingy, but if he sits on you, you can just shove him off.”

“I know this little guy.” Eddie smiled and lifted up the cat to scratch his head. Barry frowned. “Wells is still anti-social, huh?” Eddie continued.

“You know my cats?” Barry raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I fed them a few times after the accident.” Eddie explained before setting Bohr down to go curl up with his brother Wells.

“I didn't know that. Thanks. Anyways, you wanted to talk?” Barry asked, moving over to the kitchen table to sit down. Eddie leaned against the back of the sofa.

“Did something happen between you and Iris?”

“What do you mean?” Barry raised his eyebrows at him, panic washing over him for a moment before he face palmed inwardly. _He means the kisses you idiot._ He mentally scolded himself. “I mean … I don't really feel comfortable talking to you about this.”

“Look, I'm just as uncomfortable as you are, Barr. She came to me and she's pretty torn up. I wouldn't have said anything to you but-- well-- you guys were my first friends in central city. I care about Iris a lot and I don't want to see her hurt because you're so wrapped up in whatever you're wrapped up in.” Eddie pushed away from the sofa. “Iris is an amazing woman, and you're going to miss out because you’re not treating her right.” he tried to leave but Barry stopped him.

“Eddie … there's more going on than you know. Please try to understand that.” Barry was nearly pleading. He didn't want if he had to lose Iris he didn't want to lose Eddie too.

“You know, I would, if you would tell one of us.” he said almost coldly and headed out, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

“Iris, I'm asking you seriously, please stop the blog.”

“Why am I the only one who's interested in this?” Iris demanded as Barry followed her on her rounds at Jitters.

“You know what the streak looks like when he runs? Lightning. He's a man in lightning. Can't you see why that makes me a little anxious?”

Iris refilled a customer's coffee, it was somehow busier than normal as she made her way around the shop. “He helps people, Barr. He's not the guy who killed your mom.”

“This is just going to bring freaks to your front door. Especially now that you've got your name on it.” he was growing more and more frustrated with the situation.

“Hi Barry!” Kelsey approached them, having just clocked in. “How are you feeling? We missed you when you weren't coming in.”

“I'm feeling better, thanks.”

Iris was thankful for the distraction and ducked out of her argument with Barry.

He caught up to her easily in the small coffee shop.

“Something happened at work this week.” Barry told her quietly.

“What?” she frowned.

“There was a case ... I really thought I could help them and befriend them but I couldn’t … they died, right in front of me.” he told her, stuffing his hands into his pockets and casting his head down slightly.

“Barry … I'm so sorry.” she touched his arm.

“I didn't know her that well, but it hurts. I feel responsible. I said I could help them and I couldn't.” he ran a hand through his hair and inhaled deeply. “I know it would hurt more if it was someone I knew. Iris, if anything ever happened to you I don't know how I would… please. Stop the blog.”

“No.” she said firmly.

“Maybe you you shouldn't come over for a while.”

“Maybe.”

* * *

That evening, Iris was was cleaning up at Jitters after a closing shift. She was about to secure the register when she blinked and she was on the roof.

“Welcome back, Flash.” she said, but not nearly as enchanted as she usually was.

“No twenty questions?” he teased playfully.

“I'm dealing with some personal stuff.”

“Please stop the blog. It's dangerous. I'm sure that guy in your life wouldn't want you putting yourself in danger like this.”

“I wouldn't know. I haven't spoken to him and he doesn't care.” she shrugged. “besides, I'm doing this for everyone else you bring hope to.”

“Please. I'm asking as someone who cares about you.”

“You barely know me!” she threw her arms up in frustration. She couldn't believe the Flash had showed up again just to berate her.

“Yes I do!” he replied, getting just as frustrated, his cocktail facade gone. “These meta humans are different and they can hurt you and I don't want that to happen.”

“Who the hell are you, Flash?” she thought of the very few men in her life and felt the anger rising within her.

“I shouldn't have come here.”

* * *

“ _EDGAR GAYLORD THAWNE_!” Iris exclaimed, stomping into the precinct, everyone stopped and stared at her. She stomped over to his desk, not caring one bit that she was causing a scene in the centre of her father’s and friend’s place of work.

“Don't say my full name out loud!” he hissed, glancing around the room. “Edgar is an old man's name.”

“You think you're so clever.” she crossed her arms. “But the jig is up!”

“What?” he tried to object but she quickly dragged him into the alleyway behind the police station.

She was pacing angrily, trying to find words to properly express her newfound frustration and rage.

“You think you're so clever with your anti-metahuman task force and your ‘oh no the flash is a menace to society’ spiel. Well the jig is up.” she pointed at him seriously. “now stop summoning me to the Jitters rooftop. It's creepy.”

“Iris…” Eddie frowned, crossing his arms. “What are you talking about?”

“You're _him_! You're the Streak!”

Eddie’s eyebrows pulled together. “I can assure you that I'm really not …” he trialled off.

“It has to be you. He said he knew me, and we both know Barry can't walk unassisted. It's not Todd because I know how he talks.”

“Hold on, you've been talking to the flash? Why do you think I would be okay with this? why didnt you tell me?” he seemed upset with her.

“I didn't tell you because he's a hero and you think he's a villain!”

* * *

Less than a week later, another earthquake hit, this one lasted longer than the last and Cisco immediately called Barry who grabbed his phone and answered in the first ring.

“What is it now, Cisco?” Barry demanded, holding onto the wall to stay upright.

“I got a location on the meta! 86th and grand hurry! He's trying to bring down an entire apartment complex.”

Flash rushed onto the scene, glancing around. He located the meta. He frowned deeply as he tooo in the sight of them.

“Cisco, we have a problem.” said Flash. He took in the sight of the meta in front of him. “I don't know if I can fight this one.”

“Why not?”

“It's … it’s just a child.” he stepped forward. “Hey sport, do you know who I am?” he asked, his vocal cords vibrating.

When the child turned to face Barry he could see that he was wearing a hoodie and a bandana over their mouth and nose, obscuring their face. Barry frowned. The child looked at him before turning back to releasing what  could only be described as waves of energy.

“Come on, buddy. You don't have to do this, how about we talk for a little bit? I'm The Flash. I'm a superhero like in the comic books.” he tried lamely. “Whatever wrong I can help you--” The boy turned and screamed, his arms flying down to his side's as a wave shot out from his body and nearly knocked The Flash over.

“STOP!” Pat Codwell rushed onto the scene beside the Flash who stopped and stared at him, momentarily distracted, he jumped forward and punched the other child’s shoulder. In a blink The Flash scooped up Pat.

“Leave this to me, kid.” his voice and face were vibrating now.

“My friend Eddie taught me how to fight. I can help you.” Pat insisted. “I want to be your sidekick Flash. I'm Bluejay!”

Flash grabbed Pat and moved him out of the way of one of the waves.

"This isn't like in the comic books. You could actually get hurt.”

A wave of energy hit them, sending them crashing to the ground. The Flash sped away with Pat, dropping him next to the apartment before going to the lab.

“Did you get the Meta?” asked Cisco, checking the pipeline video feed. “You didn't get the Meta?”

“No. Pat showed up. He's playing superhero again. I guess Eddie taught him how to throw punches, but this meta doesn't cause earthquakes. I don't know what he does.” Barry admitted. “Next time he shows his face I'll figure out what he does. If you'll excuse me I have two people to talk to.” he sighed.

* * *

“Eddie,” said Barry, rushing into the precinct.

“Need something, Barr?” he asked casually.

“Did you tell Pat he could fight?” Barry sat down in the chair next to Eddie's desk.

“While you were in the coma he told me about the kids who were picking on him. I taught him how to defend himself. I don't see what the big deal is?” Eddie frowned a little, not really sure what he’d done wrong.

“The big deal is that he’s trying to be Bluejay and tried to fight alongside the Flash.”

“Is he okay?” Eddie asked, concern clear on his face.

“He's fine.” Barry sighed.

“Good because I've got to get to work on dealing with this _streak_ Iris keeps writing about.” he sat up a little straighter.

“What?” Barry wasn't sure he’d heard correctly, he thought the streak was a threat?

“I think he's dangerous.” said Eddie, choosing to ignore the look Barry was giving him.

“He's saving people!” Barry couldn't believe what he was hearing. He thought he and Eddie were both on the same page.

“For how long? It's only a matter of time before he turns on us all like those other supernatural freaks.”

Barry left the precinct to cool down before he began thinking over his options.

He was only gone an hour before he took a risk, he returned to the precinct.

“Eddie, can I trust you?” Barry asked seriously, leaning on his cane.

“I think so?” Eddie stared up at his friend, the confusion apparent on his face. What on earth could Barry be on about?

“I need a yes or no. If I can't trust you, it’ll put everyone we love in danger. Are you prepared for that?” he asked seriously, his eyes boring into him.

Eddie read the room easily, seeing how serious the situation was. He nodded once.

“You can trust me, Barr.” he replied seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probally SO extra and If you're a little younger and/or never had an emo phase you might not know it but I think The song "Earthquake" by The Used connects to Iris and Barry in this chapter. "I lie here on the ocean floor, broken castle by the shore and I've made this mess; I built this fire. Are you still mine?" Totally marches how Barry is falling apart/drowning in everything and destroying the relationship but can't let her go. But I'm also a former emo kid so Nostalgia could totally be clouding my judgement.


	13. Spider-Man and Mary Jane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where (almost) everyone finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings to get out of the way: The hostage situation from s1e9 is present and touched on and there's some abusive behaviour between Bett and her dad that's dealt with. Tags have been updated to reflect topics in this chapter. If I missed anything feel free to email (public on profile) or comment and I'll fix it. (:
> 
> I am back! Really excited about this chapter and hope you guys like it! I rested up my hands and should be able to force out another few chapters! Aplogies in advane to mobile readers, this chapter is a bit longer than the others.
> 
> This one took a bit because this chapter and the next one are probally two of the most important chapters, but the next one will be out soon :)

Eddie was the first to learn Barry’s secret. It was a matter of necessity, keeping him the dark stopped being an option, not when he painted a target on Barry’s back. Plus having an ally at CCPD would come in handy if he could be convinced.  
  
“You're acting really weird Barr.” Eddie frowned deeply as he followed Barry who was practically dragging him out the doors and into the elevator in the precinct.   
  
“I know, but I just … I can't do this alone anymore and you're making things difficult.” he wrung his hands together anxiously. “So remember when I said there was more to the Iris thing than you knew?”   
  
“Yes I remember.” he crossed his arms. “I'm guessing this is about that?”   
  
Barry nodded once, very seriously.  “I need you to come to S.T.A.R. Labs with me.”   
  
Eddie followed his friend to the closed down laboratory on the other side of the city. He had never been to the facility before today, let alone this deep inside if it, but there he was, following Barry into the depths if it.   
  
“This entire structure was built to do good,” Barry began his monologue as they headed towards the lift that would take them down to the cortex. “But something went wrong. Last February the particle accelerator exploded, some people died, some people were … changed.” the lift doors opened and Barry got on, waiting for Eddie to follow. He did and Barry continued. “A lot of the people changed were already bad people, like Mardon. Some of them were good and needed help. That bombing we investigated a little while ago? Her name was Bette Sans Souci. When the particle accelerator exploded, it made shrapnel fuse with her cellular structure. Everything she touched exploded but she didn't want to hurt anyone, she was a good person.”   
  
“Why are you talking about her in past tense?”   
  
“Remember when there was that explosion and the government said it was just weapons testing? Yeah, that was a lie. They murdered Bette and she exploded. She had to be put in the water away from the city to save it from the explosion.”   
  
“I'm supposed to just believe you?” Eddie sounded sceptical, but Barry didn't expect anything less.   
  
“We’re calling the people affected Metahumans, as you figured out.” The lift doors opened and Barry turned down a hallway, glancing back to ensure Eddie was still following. “Trust me when I say that the police force as it is has absolutely no hope of standing a chance against them. All this Anti-Flash Taskforce will do is get you and all the officers killed. These people aren't like regular people, as you can see. You need to let us handle this, this city needs protecting, metahumans need saving and capturing … the city needs the Flash.”   
  
Eddie paused for a moment to process the information he had been given. He thought of something then, and looked up at him.

“How do you know all this, Barry?”   
  
“I was also … affected.”   
  
“So you're a … metahuman.”   
  
“I'm not just a metahuman. I'm The Flash.”   
  
“Barr. I don't have time for this.” Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb. “Maybe you should go home and rest.” he insisted. As far as Eddie knew, Barry couldn't walk unassisted, let alone speed around the city saving people.   
  
Barry tossed his cane off to the side, he turned to Eddie and stood tall. “I hate that thing. It's just another lie holding me down.”   
  
“Wha-” Eddie began to question but Barry cut him off.   
  
“Come with me.” He made a gesture with his hand, indicating for Eddie to follow, which he did. He sat Eddie down at a set of control panels. Eddie tried to make sense of them but it was all Greek to him.   
  
“There's a dial on the middle board,” said Barry who was standing on the treadmill now. Eddie watched him through the window then looked for the dial.   
  
“Found it.” he announced when his fingers found the large dial.   
  
“Turn it to Mach Three.”   
  
“What the heck is a Mach?”   
  
“You're about to find out.”   
  
Eddie turned the dial and Barry was running and sparks flew around his body as he gained speed. Eddie just stared at the sight, trying to process what was happening in front of him.   
  
When Barry returned to Eddie he was sitting in the chair, his eyes glued to his folded hands in his lap.   
  
“I know this is a lot to take in, and I'm sure you need to process this ... I'm sorry for all the lying. I hope you can understand that I needed the people I care about to be safe. I didn't want this part of my life to put them in danger-- if anything ever happened to any of you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.--”   
  
Eddie stood and extended a hand to Barry.   
  
“I'm sorry I was wrong about the Flash.”   
  
Barry shook his hand. “Thank you.”   
  
“However, I think you need to cut that martyr Act and talk to Iris.” He crossed his arms. “You might not like the idea Barr, but it's the right thing to do.”   
  
Despite of everything, it didn't take long for Eddie to get into the swing of being a part of Team Flash.

* * *

“So, exactly how fast can you run?” asked Eddie around a pickle.

He had invited Barry over to help he eat all the food in his fridge. The old thing came with the unit and had finally kicked the bucket. Luckily for him, he was good friends with a Speedster who needed to eat several thousand calories a day to keep his body running.

“Right now I'm rockin’ about a Mach four point five give or take.” Barry waved his hand to indicate that the estimate was ‘iffy’.

“You never explained what a Mach was.” Eddie reminded him, grabbing another tupperware container.

“Okay so a Mach is equal to the speed sound moves through the air. Which is usually three hundred and forty-three miles per second. Multiply by by four and a half and then some.”

“So you run faster than the speed of sound?”

“Yeah-- This is really good.” he shoved another bite of a mysterious food into his mouth.

“Please clear it all out then,” laughed Eddie, grabbing a slice of Swiss cheese and eating that too.

“Why do you have so many leftovers?”

“My neighbor across the hall, Mrs. Bradley.” he started, piling a few things onto the table. “She brings over food like twice a week and lectures me about not being able to cook and that I need to find a wife to take care of me.” he laughed. “I try to tell her I don’t need a wife but she grew up in a different time.” he shrugged his shoulders.

“I can cook for you.” Barry offered with a laugh. “I'm always cooking if I'm not eating pizza.”

There was a knock on the door and Barry jumped to his feet. Eddie rose as well and headed over to the door, looking through the peephole.

“Speak of the devil.” Eddie chuckled and pulled the door open.

“Hello Mrs. Bradley.” he greeted politely.

“I made some cookies for my grandkids but they didn't end up coming over. I thought maybe you could bring them to the station tomorrow.” the old woman smiled kindly and Eddie accepted the cookies.

“Thank you, I'll ne sure the guys get them.” he smiled.

“I was also hoping you could help me this week. I've got some boxes I need pulled down from the closet.” she went on.

“I'm working a lot of double shifts this week but I'll see what I can do.”

Barry headed over to the door.

“Eddie, I'm off on Monday I could help.” he offered then turned to Mrs. Bradley and offered a hand. “I’m Barry Allen, CCPD’s  forensic scientist.”

She shook his hand with a smile.

“Oh I wouldn't want you to go out of your way.”

“It’s no trouble, ma’am. I'll be out this way anyways.”

“Well thank you.”

* * *

On Monday Barry sat on the sofa in Bett’s apartment, he’d stopped by that morning to watch movies.

  
“Where's Todd and the girlfriend?” he asked curiously as Grease played in the background.   
  
“Huh?” asked Bett who just returned to the sofa with a bowl of popcorn. “Oh, Todd is at a job interview and the girlfriend and I broke up,” she said casually.   
  
“Oh, I'm sorry.” he frowned a little.   
  
“It's fine. Just means you're back on duty as the tall errand boy.” she joked and there was the sound of a knock on the door.   
  
She sighed and pushed the bowl of popcorn into Barry’s hands before going to get the door.   
  
“I told you not to come over anymore.” she crossed her arms.   
  
“You don't really mean that.”   
  
“Yes, I do, dad. Leave.”   
  
“You're just a stupid artist, you don't know shit!”   
  
Barry stood, grabbing his cane and making his way towards the hall.   
  
“Is there a problem, sir?”   
  
“Barry, just don't.” Bett shot him a serious look and pushed him back slightly.   
  
“How many guys are you shacked up with? A whore just like your Mother, huh?”   
  
“Hey. You can't talk to her like that,” said Barry seriously, then he noticed Bett’s hands were trembling. “You need to leave. I work for CCPD, you can walk out of here or I can call the lead detective over here.”   
  
“Get out!” she shouted at her father and they started to argue back and forth.   
  
Her father made a move that Barry interpreted as the start of a physical move towards Bett. The speedforce rushed through Barry and he grabbed his wrist, easily stopping him. His cane was long forgotten on the floor as he shoved Bett’s father back.   
  
Bett called the police and Barry managed to hold her father down until a few officers arrived.   
  
When two of the cops left with Bett's father Barry went to find Bett who sat on the floor of her bedroom with her head between her knees. He sat down beside her.   
  
“Why didn't you tell me he was violent?” Barry asked as he came to seat himself beside her once they officers escorted her father out. “I would have done something when I first saw him coming around.”   
  
“I know you would have, Barry. You have the strongest moral compass I've ever seen. That’s why I lied.” she sniffed and wiped her eyes, trying to pull herself together.   
  
“I don't understand--”   
  
“Of course you don't.”   
  
“Then help me to.” He had never seen Bett like this, he had no idea how to help her.   
  
“Barry, Bett?" Eddie Thawne ducked his head into the room. "I heard the address over dispatch and came. Is everybody alright?" He asked, staying close to the doorway, he wasn't sure if entering the room would make Bett feel unsafe.   
  
“What's going to happen with him?” she asked.   
  
“He's probably going to prison once they confirm the restraining order.”   
  
“Okay,” she said quietly, her normally sarcastic tone was shaky.   
  
Barry looked at Bett. “You told me there wasn't one.”   
  
“I told you I didn't need one …  because there already was one.” she looked down at the floor.   
  
“Why didn't you tell me that?” asked Barry.   
  
“Because I didn't want you to know, okay? What, you're the only one allowed to keep secrets?”   
  
“I don't know what you're talking about.”   
  
“I'm going to step out,” said Eddie, giving them a moment.   
  
“Barry, I'm not an idiot. You just nearly into a fight with my six-foot father when you're not supposed to even be able to walk without that cane.”   
  
“Look … you were stressed … I had an adrenaline rush. They're fairly common you can Google it.”   
  
“Did you really just do that?”   
  
“What?”   
  
“Electricity flashed in your eyes as you moved. You're like me, and you’re going to pull the ‘ _I had an adrenaline rush Google it Bella_ ’.”   
  
Barry went on to argue but then he stopped. “What do you mean like you?”   
  
She threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “I thought I was going to go crazy. I thought I was all alone in this.”   
  
Barry hugged her back tightly.   
  
“You've never been alone in this.” Guilt twisted up in his stomach. He had been so wrapped up in his own head that he couldn't have even see that Bett was lying about her father or hiding powers from him. “I promise. I'm sorry.”   
  
A few minutes later, Eddie returned to the room.   
  
"Bett, I know how you feel about police ... I talked to my guys and you can give me your statement whenever you feel ready."   
  
She peeled herself away from Barry to face Eddie.   
  
"Thanks, Eddie." She smiled. It was the first time she'd ever called him by his actual name.   
  
“What is this place?” asked Todd as he followed Barry into the Cortex.   
  
“This is the Cortex. We’re taking you to the medbay. Please don't touch anything.”   
  
“They won't hurt him, right?” asked Bett. “and I'm not going to be a lab rat, right?”   
  
“Bett, it's okay.” He assured her again, he reached out and wrapped an arm around her. “Doctor Snow will want to run a few tests just to analyse your powers and make sure that you're healthy. I wouldn't bring you here if they were going to hurt either of you.” Bett was always independent and strong, Barry never felt like she needed protecting ... but looking at her now; she looked smaller somehow, curled in on herself and sticking closely to his side. He wished he knew how to help her.   
  
“Woah blond Barry,” said Cisco, pointing to Todd.   
  
“Yeah, why does he look exactly like me?” asked Barry curiously.   
  
“Your face shape is the only one I can paint on command. When the particle accelerator exploded I was doing an experimental piece,” Bett explained and Barry shrugged his shoulders, accepting that answer, even if it still felt a bit creepy to look at Todd.   
  
“Oh right, just like the Prince in the book you illustrated.” Barry suddenly remembered.   
  
“Yeah.”   
  
As they spoke, Caitlin appeared. She didn't hesitate to grab Todd’s face, squishing his cheeks and moving them around as she stared in complete and utter amazement.   
  
“That is so strange … He looks exactly like Barry."   
  
"He doesn't look exactly like Barry." Bett mumbled.   
  
“Bett, Todd, this is doctor Snow, she’ll be running your tests.” he introduced them and dropped his arm from its place around Bett.   
  
“Wow. You're a doctor? I would give your father my best milking cow and my finest chestnut horse.”   
  
“What-”   
  
“I accidently made him a medieval character, I'm sorry." Bett pulled Todd's arm. "I've been trying to teach him...."   
  
“Well that's flattering in a weird and very misogynistic way--” she then mumbled to a little low. “but Barry does have excellent genetics-- I mean-- I'm a geneticist.-- I'm just going to run the tests.” She lead Bett back to the medbay.   
  
"Do you say that to all the boys, Dr. Snow?" Asked Cisco in a partially teasing tone. Caitlin turned to him.   
  
"What other boys ?" she glanced at Barry who rolled his eyes.   
  
"Leave me alone."   
  
“I like her,” decided Todd.   
  
“She’s pretty great.” Barry agreed with a nod. “Watch out when she's mad though.” He turned to Cisco “Cisco stop staring at us.”   
  
Cisco raised a hand and poked Todd’s face. “I can't get over it. You said this guy came out of a painting?”   
  
“That’s what Bett said.”   
  
“So,” started Bett, now a bit more relaxed and at ease. “How does this work?”   
  
“Well, I'm going to draw some blood and take your vitals.” She explained, then went on to explain in detail what each test was for.   
  
“Barry?” she leaned over in the bed so she could look through the doorway.   
  
“Cisco, keep an eye on him. He wanders,” said Barry before walking across to the medbay.   
  
“Will you stay with me?” She trusted Barry, that was for certain, these other people though … Not so much.   
  
“Yeah.” he went and sat on the other end of the bed while Caitlin drew blood.   
  
Soon they finished running their tests on Bett and now it was Todd’s turn.   
  
“He has blood-- so that's a good sign.” She mused and went to run some tests on it.   
  
“Everything okay?” asked Eddie, coming into view.   
  
“Detective Pretty Boy knows?” asked Bett. “Who doesn’t know about this secret Megahuman Liar?”   
  
“ Metahuman ,” corrected Caitlin.   
  
“Joe and Iris don't know.” Eddie shrugged and leaned against the open doorway of the Medbay.   
  
“What makes Bett a Metahuman?”   
  
“I'm right here.” Bett crossed her arms.   
  
“She made me!” Todd pointed to himself and Eddie blinked.   
  
“That explains so much.” Nothing surprised Eddie at this point, not really. “Bethany, do you have a minute to discuss your case?”   
  
“Don't call me Bethany.”   
  
“How do you get Bett from Bethany?” asked Barry, his eyebrows pulling together.   
  
“You take Beth and a 3-year-old cousin who has trouble with h’s and you get Bett,” said Eddie.   
  
“How do you know that?”   
  
“I … asked her?” Eddie spoke in a tone that implied it was obvious.   
  
“Right.” he shook his head.   
  
“I guess I have time, Detective PB.,” said Bett in a disinterested tone.   
  
“We got a court date.”   
  
“In one day?” she looked surprised. “In Coast City it took like a month just to get a date.”   
  
“Well, we have one for January thirteenth.”   
  
“Thanks.”

 

Suddenly, Barry remembered something. He sighed and face palmed.

“Eddie, I promised your neighbor I would help her today.”

“Oh that's right. If Bett’s fine with it, I can stay here. The station knows I'm getting a statement, so I've got nowhere to be.”

Barry glanced at Bett. Unsure. He didn't want her to feel like she had to agree.

“I'll be fine with Eddie, he needs my statement anyway.” she shot Barry a small smile and a nod, letting him know she was genuine.

“I'll be back as soon as I can.” he promised before rushing over to Mrs. Bradley’s  apartment, he quickly stomped out the fire in his shoes before knocking.

After a few moments Mrs. Bradley came to the door and smiled.

“ _Gary_ , thank you for coming.” she greeted him with a warm smile. “Please come in,” she stepped aside and let him inside.

Barry headed inside the apartment and took in the immediate area. Just inside the door was a table with a very ugly taxidermy penguin lamp. It looked like it would be at home in an oddity shop. He didn't correct her on his name.

“Should I take off my shoes?” he asked, taking in the decorative rugs scattered about the living room  area.

“Please.”

Barry stepped on his heels to remove his shoes and closed the door behind him.

“You needed help with some boxes?”

“Yes, they're just through here.” she started to move to further into the apartment then to the left. He followed her to what seemed to be a back bedroom. She opened a closet door and pointed up to a row a oh boxes. “Sorry there are a few.”

‘Not a problem. Where do you want them?

“Oh the coffee table please.”

Barry nodded and began to carefully move the boxes. It didn't take much time. Soon all five of the boxes were on the coffee table.

“What’s this?” Barry asked, picking up a black and white photo of two women.

“Oh that!” she picked it up and started to wipe away the dust that clung to the glass. “That’s me and my best friend Welma. We were factory workers during World War II. I was eighteen in this photo, but when the war ended I went on to be a nurse.”

“That’s amazing.”

She smiled and her eyes crinkled. It had been a long time since she had any visitors.

“I met my husband when some troops came to see the factory. We were married as soon as he came home from the war.-- I'm sorry, I won't bore you with an old woman’s story.”

“Not at all, Mrs. Bradley.” he shook his head and she started to empty the boxes a bit more.

“Do you have someone special in your life?” she asked with a smile as she moved a folded blanket  from one of the boxes.

“Something like that.” he replied with a smile weak smile.

“Lovely. That Eddie needs to find himself a nice girl.”

“Don't worry. I promise to take good care of him,” Barry laughed. “I'm a good cook.”

“Oh I didn't realise.” She said before adding “Well, I think these are all finished here. Thank you for your help.”

“Happy to help.”

* * *

Back at the cortex Barry realised something.

“Hey Eddie, so everything went well … but I may have accidentally implied that we were dating.”

“How did you accidentally tell a ninety-five year old woman that we’re dating?” asked Eddie, crossing his arms.

“It was an accident!” Barry objected.

“I don't even like men,” Eddie laughed.

“I mean you'd be a great trophy husband don't get me wrong but I only have eyes for Iris.” Barry said, laughing with him and nudging his arm.

“Why would I be a trophy husband?” he almost sounded offended.

“Hey, it's a complement! You'd be out of my league and marry me for the science money. I'm a scientist and you're a jock with a pretty face.”

“Are you saying I'm a gold digger?”

“Detective Pretty Boy don’t look so upset.” Bett pretended to pout. “You would look great next to Barry as he accepts his second Nobel prize.”

“You're both hilarious.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“It's a terrible trade off though because you get Slender Man next to you when you accept police awards.” said Cisco around a mouthful of chips.

“That's a low blow Cisco. Low blow.” Barry nudged Cisco with his arm.

* * *

“Barry, the Earthquake Meta is back. He's at the intersection on 87th. Just flipped a few cars.”

  
The Flash arrived, quickly to the scene. He tried to access the damage. There wasn't a lot, he started evacuating the area.   
  
“Come on buddy, you don't have to do this,” said Flash, holding his hands up in a cautionary gesture.   
  
“I don't know how to make it stop!”   
  
The Flash rushed to the boy's side. “Let me help.”   
  
“I didn't mean to.” the child sounded distressed.   
  
“I believe you,” Flash said gently and moved to lead the boy away but another wave erupted from him, sending him flying but Barry had caught a glimpse of the boy’s face past his hoodie … Parker.   
  
“Flash there's a hold up at Central City Bank, and an armed robbery at a jewellery store in progress.”   
  
“Someone else is going to have to--” he looked up and Parker had gone.   
  
The Flash went to deal with the hold up at the bank and the armed robbery. When he finally returned to the cortex Barry ran a hand through his hair.   
  
“This Metahuman is releasing bursts of energy. The longer he holds it in, the stronger they get.”   
  
“Bide,” replied Cisco, with a snap of his fingers.   
  
“What?”   
  
“Pokémon. Bide it's a Normal-type move where the Pokémon absorbs damage from its opponent attacks. At the end of its run, it releases all the damage it took back with extra. So I'm going to call him Bide.”   
  
“No you're not,” said Barry seriously.   
  
“Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning,” Cisco complained, giving Barry a look.   
  
“We’re not giving him a nickname.”   
  
“Barry …” Caitlin spoke up now. “is there something you want to tell us?”   
  
“No. I'll take care of this meta. Keep tracking him.”

* * *

In the laundry room of the west house, Barry was staring the piece of fabric in his hands. He hadn’t meant to pay it any attention but he saw the insignia on it, which had made something in his brain go _mine?_ and pick it up.  However, _mine?_ quickly turned into _NOT MINE!_ the moment his fingers came in contact with the fabric.  
  
It took only a fraction of a second for him to register that they were a pair of underwear, obviously Iris’s. He raised his eyebrows; this raised several questions, the first of course being why anyone on earth would want to own a pair of panties with his insignia on them. He then realised that he had spent several seconds too long holding a girl’s panties and tossed them on top of the dryer. He wasn't exactly a stranger to Iris’s more private laundry, after all, he had shared a laundry room with her for several years, but he definitely didn't want to explain to Joe or iris if he was caught staring at them like a weirdo.  
  
**Barry:** _I think we need a Flash intervention, it’s getting weird. :P_  
  
**Iris:** _Why_?  
  
**Barry:** _You left your weird Flash undies in the laundry room._  
  
**Iris:** _THAT’S WHERE THOSE ARE? Can you bring them by for me? Also, I have 'the hood’ ones too so :P_  
  
**Barry:** _1\. I did not need to know that. 2. I'm not going across town with your underwear in my pocket that's weird on too many levels. 3. Now I kind of want to know what's on the Hood ones._  
  
**Iris:** _You’ve done my laundry before it's not like you've never touched my underwear. Also one of them has a bow + arrow and the other has his little mask! They're very cute!_  
  
**Barry:** _What?? I gave him that mask!! Also, Now way! Are you going to protect me if Joe comes down here and sees me shoving your panties into my pocket like some kind of pervert? Didn't think so._

Normally he would want to rub in Oliver’s face that the mask had become part of his look, but he didn't really feel like calling up his friend to discuss panties.  
  
**Iris:** _You what??_  
  
Barry paused and rubbed the back of his neck for a second. Why on earth did he type that?  
  
**Barry:** _I was walking back to my hotel on Starling and someone tried to mug me. The Arrow saved me. I told him to ditch the grease paint for a mask._

  
It was a lie, but he couldn't exactly tell her about the time he was kidnapped by a team arrow and tasked with saving his life, now could he?

  
**Iris:** _I thought you weren't going to keep things from me anymore?_  
  
**Barry:** _I saw his face and didn't want you to pester me about who he was._  
  
**Iris:** _Who was he???_  
  
**Barry:** _Proving my point_ ** _{Thumbs up emoji}_** _I just saw his face I didn't recognize him._  
  
**Iris:** _Was he handsome?_  
  
**Barry:** _If you're into eyes that could kill a man and scruff. Then yeah, I guess._  
  
**Iris:** _Yes, please._  
  
Barry rolled his eyes. _Of course she's into that._

 

Barry clicked over to his thread with Felicity and sent

**Barry:** _Did you know they have ‘The Hood’ and The Flash themed underwear? People are weird. Who would want that?_

**Felicity:** _I am never agreeing check Felicity's phone for her ever again. Handing the phone over to her. -- Oliver_

**Felicity:** _I already know about them. You’re a superhero are you surprised? Iris showed me her haul when she bought them._

**Barry:** _Is that really a thing girls do?_

**Felicity:** _You say that like it's weird?_

**Barry:** _I just can't picture myself texting Oliver to tell him about my underwear choices._

**Felicity:** _Maybe it's just you._

**Barry:** _Go ahead and ask Oliver what brand of underwear he wears._

**Felicity:** _I don't have to._ _He doesn't wear underwear._

**Barry:** _BYE FELICITY_

That was the absolute last thing Barry needed to know.

  
Recently Bett had decided she needed a bigger place now that it had seemed Todd was staying with her long-term. She and Iris had found a place in Eddie’s building, right down the hall, which was extremely inconvenient for The Flash. Things were going surprisingly well despite the fact that Barry rarely saw her anymore. Though he couldn't really complain as the two were on and off again fighting over the blog.   
  
Barry finished loading his clothes into the dryer before speeding to the middle school where he was walking the boys home that day because Heather was working late.   
  
He stood by the walkway out front and waited for the classes to let out for the day and it wasn't long before kids started to file out of the school. He took Pat’s backpack for him when he complained about it digging into her shoulder.   
  
“Good news, I’m making Grandma Esther's noodle dish tonight, I know you guys like that one.”   
  
Suddenly, a serious looking older woman appeared.   
  
“Excuse me, young man! Who are you?” she asked him, stepping between Barry and the boys.   
  
“I'm Barry Allen, ma’am.” He informed her, a bit taken aback.   
  
“What is your businesses here? I saw you lurking around.”   
  
“Ms. Finkle, Barry is my dad,” said Parker, crossing his arms.   
  
“I'm not their dad,” started Barry with a laugh, not realising Parker was being somewhat serious. “I'm their neighbour. Heather Codwell is covering a coworker’s shift so I'm taking them home … is that a problem?” he wasn’t sure why this was suddenly an issue for them. He had picked them up from grade school a dozen times and no one really ever asked questions.   
  
“This is a private school we can't release students to anyone who shows up on the property.”   
  
“I'm sorry if I've violated some policy I wasn't informed of.” He pulled out his wallet and presented her with his ID and his badge. “Would you like to take down my badge info? I'm a CCPD forensic scientist. A CSI.”   
  
“Like the T.V. Show!” Said Pat.   
  
“I need to make some calls.”   
  
“With all due respect, if I wasn’t who I say I am I wouldn't have given you my badge number and my ID. Pat needs to go home and get his medication.”   
  
She pulled out a walkie-talkie and spoke into it. “Could someone get Heather Codwell on the phone, please?”   
  
After a few seconds, there was a reply.   
  
“Reason?”   
  
“We’re dealing with a yellow code.”   
  
Barry crossed his arms and waited patiently for this to be cleared up.   
  
“She said she sent a Barry Allen to pick them up today.” came a voice over the walkie-talkie.   
  
“You can go,” said Ms. Finkle.   
  
Barry nodded and started to walk with the boys.   
  
“How was school?” he asked them.   
  
“It was okay. The eighth graders are kind of mean though.” Pat answered as they headed to the apartment building a few blocks away.   
  
“I'm sorry. That happens Freshman year too. If you want I can call the school this week.”   
  
They arrived at his flat and Barry set Pat’s backpack down just inside the door.   
  
“It's okay. I can handle it.”   
  
“ _No fighting_ ,” Barry said seriously, pointing at Pat. “Yes, I heard about that. Detective Thawne told me.” He added when Pat gave him a surprised look.   
  
“Okay, do you guys want to go change out of your uniforms?” he knew Pat hated the uniforms. The only school in walking distance was a Catholic school. The girls had to wear button downs and a skirt or trousers and the boys had trousers and the choice of a white button down with a blazer or a sweater vest. Pat refused to wear the sweater vest but Parker rather liked it. Pat also hated the tie, he said it made him feel suffocated.   
  
Pat disappeared out the back door to change, but Parker seemed fine with just removing his sweater vest and undoing his tie along with the top two buttons of his shirt. Barry sat him down once he was sure Pat got to his apartment safely.   
  
“Listen to me, Parker. You know that if anything is ever bothering you, you can tell me. You might be experiencing some changes that are overwhelming--”   
  
“Gross! Mom already gave us _the talk_ . I know I'm going to get hair on axillary region, and abdomen.” Parker objected, crossing his arms.   
  
Barry almost laughed. “That’s not what I meant, slugger.” Barry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb. “Just … please don't feel like you can't talk to me about things.” He trialled off. “Okay? You know I'm always here for you.”   
  
“Why do you call me slugger? I don't know anyone who says that.” Parker replied, seemingly ignoring the issue.   
  
“My mom always called me her Beautiful Boy, and my dad calls me Slugger.” Barry laughed. “I guess that's just one that stuck.”   
  
“I wish you could be my dad,” said Parker, looking down at his hands.   
  
“Why’s that?”   
  
“Because my dad isn’t like you.” the boy explained and Barry put an arm around his shoulders.   
  
“I can't be your dad, Parker, but I can be your friend.” He had hoped Parker would confide in him about his powers but was let down.   
  
“My best friend?”   
  
“Yeah, Parker. We can be best friends.”   
  
“Why don't I know your dad? I’ve seen Iris’s dad a lot.” Parker finally asked. Barry had never told the boys about his father, and he never really planned to. Not until they were old enough to really understand it anyways but if either of the boys were able to understand the situation it would be Parker. However, he was not sure if he wanted Parker to know that story.   
  
“You're growing up, and I know you want me to treat you more like an adult, so I'm going to tell you and I hope you understand.” He pulled his arm away from him so he could clasp his hands together.   
  
Parker nodded and crossed his legs on the sofa, turning to face Barry. “Okay.”   
  
“When I was around your age, something really bad happened. The police thought my father did it. All the evidence pointed to my father, but it was all a mistake. I know this because I was there when it happened.” he closed his eyes for a moment and tried to fight back the memories of that night. “The police didn't have a choice but to arrest him, and now he's in Iron Heights.”   
  
“Has he been there a long time?”   
  
“Fifteen years.”   
  
“He must be lonely.”   
  
“He is.”   
  
“Why didn't you tell me that before?”   
  
Barry reached out and put a hand on his shoulder.   
  
“It's hard to talk about, and I wanted to make sure you were old enough to understand.”   
  
When Pat returned to the apartment Barry put the noodles dish in the ovend to cook.

* * *

On a busy Tuesday Barry was shuffling through some files on his desk. The past few weeks had been actual hell but he pushed through it, balancing his work as the flash, his work at the crime lab and of course his personal relationships.  
  
“Baby-Face,” Officer Vukuvich stood in the doorway.  
  
Barry set down his files and looked up to see Pat was standing beside the officer.  
  
“This one was insisting on seeing you. He was caught playing hero with the police again,”  he informed him and Pat rushed into the lab. Barry sighed and pulled a pair of safety glasses off the table and handed them to Pat.  
  
“Put these on,” he looked up at officer Vukuvich and nod. “Thanks. I'll make sure he doesn't get into anything.” he made a point to never apologise for anything Pat did that wasn’t completely wrong. He never apologised, not when Pat had a sensory overload in public, not when he showed up at the precinct determined to see him. He never apologised for him and he never would. Pat was just a kid, there was nothing to apologise for, and he never wanted Pat to be ashamed of his struggles.  
  
“You're extremely lucky that I found him before the captain did,” he spoke seriously and Barry sighed.  
  
“Pat, we talked about this. I don't want you getting into trouble. I'll ask Detective Thawne to give you a ride home soon.”  
  
“I don't really want to go home,” said Pat when the officer left.  
  
“Why not?” Barry frowned and moved to start processing a set of fingerprints. Pat had seen his lab once before and had learned not to touch anything.  
  
“It’s lonely. Parker doesn't really talk to me anymore.” the boy shrugged and took a seat at one of the desks.  
  
“Your brother is having a really hard time right now. I’m sure things will get better soo-” Barry stopped when a low buzzing sound filled the lab.  
  
“What is that ?” Pat covered his ears.  
  
“Someone triggered the alarm downstairs,” said Barry quickly. “Listen you need to be quiet,” he told Pat very seriously. “Can you do that for me?” he headed over to the lockers and opened his, pulling out his bag and jacket. “I need you to listen to me very carefully, are you listening?”  
  
Pat nodded once, able recognize the seriousness of the situation at hand.  
  
“I need you to go in this locker, and I'm going to shut it. You need to be as quiet as possible and don't come out. You cannot play hero okay? No matter what you hear stay put . Do not come out for anyone but me or my family, do you understand?” The sound of a gunshot rang out through the precinct “Pat, you need to get in the locker. Now .”  
  
Pat pushed himself into the small space and Barry shut the door.  
  
“Close your eyes and I'll come back for you soon, Okay? but you need to stay hidden.” Barry pulled on his suit at super speed and sped off. Completely unaware that Pat could see him through the locker.  
  
The Flash rushed downstairs and took in the scene, Tokmen had somehow tamen the precinct. It didn't take him long to subdue Tockmen. Once that was done he rushed to Eddie’s side.  
  
“Sorry I'm late,” he said, his face and voice vibrating to obscure his identity. Joe starred at them as he helped Eddie to his feet. “Someone call the ER and tell them they have an incoming GSW.”  
  
He started running when he saw one of them take out their phone. “I'll come back. Pat is in the crime lab,” he explained and rushed out again.  
  
He arrived back at his lab and pulled Pat out of the locker. Pat clung to him tightly.  
  
“You did good, Pat,” Barry told him. “I think they settled everything, but I think we should stay up here until someone comes up, okay?” They went and sat in the corner, away from the door.  
  
“It's loud,” said Pat.  
  
“I know Slugger. They'll turn off the alarm soon. I got you.”  
  
Pat leaned his head against Barry who placed a hand over his other ear, holding him close until they could call off the alarm.  
  
Barry’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out with his free hand.  
  
**Iris:** _Where are you?_  
  
**Barry:** _I'm in the precinct but I'm safe in my lab. Have you heard from Joe?_  
  
**Iris:** _I'm coming up._   
  
Barry had to play dumb. He couldn't have known she was downstairs. He set his phone down and waited for Iris to come up, Pat still needed to be shielded from the sound of the alarm.  
  
“Iris is coming,” he told Pat.  
  
A few minutes later Iris appeared in the lab, her eyes darting around the room.  
  
“Over here,” said Barry.  
  
It is crossed the room and knelt on the floor beside them.  
  
“Are you guys okay?”  
  
“I'm fine. Pat is having trouble with the alarm. Is everyone downstairs okay? We heard the gunshot.”  
  
“Everyone is fine.” Iris took Barry’s free hand tightly in her own. “Eddie is at the hospital but he’ll be okay.”

“Where’s Joe?” asked Barry.

“He’s dealing with stuff downstairs.” Answered Iris, she wrapped her arms around both of them and Barry squeezed her shoulder.

“I'm glad you're okay.”

* * *

Several days passed and Iris stopped coming to his apartment.  
  
Barry went straight up to the crime lab to begin processing his evidence from a recent case. He started to put some blood samples through the computer when Iris pushed the large metal door back.   
  
“listen, Barry we need to talk right now, no running out no more games.” she started crossing her arms.   
  
Barry looked up and met her hard gaze.   
  
“What's up?”   
  
“Did you even notice that I haven't been staying at your apartment?” she asked. She was hurt, as much as she tried to hide it.   
  
“Of course I noticed.” he noticed, how could he not? He missed her. He missed falling asleep with her and waking up with her. He just missed _her_ .   
  
“Aren't you going to ask me why that is?”   
  
“I figured you were busy.”   
  
“No, because if I want to wake up alone and deal with being ditched every five minutes I'll stay with my father or my weird roommates, not my … _whatever_ .” her tone was growing more and more frustrated. “Do you even care at all? If you don't want to do this just tell me.”   
  
“Do what?”   
  
“Exactly, what .” she sighed and pressed her tongue to her upper lip.   
  
“I told you what I wanted,” He reminded her.   
  
“No, you didn't! You kissed me and then you ran away, we acted like nothing happened form months . Now you're avoiding me and every time I try to touch you, you get this this this guilty look and bot. You can't just kiss me one time and everything will magically fall into place and make sense. We are _adults_ , real-life adults.”   
  
Barry sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to gather up the right words. It wasn't easy. Not by any means, but he settled on something.

“Iris, I have loved you since I was old enough to know what love even is. Even Joe and Sarah could see it,” he spoke seriously, hoping that was what she wanted him to say.

  
Iris just stared at him for a moment. “W-what?” she stammered slightly.   
  
“I have always loved you. Then I had to go live with the girl I had a crush on.”   
  
“You didn't say anything to me for, what, ten years?” she raised her eyebrows at him. “I don't understand.”   
  
“Sixteen.”   
  
“Wha-”   
  
“Sixteen years, I realised I loved you sixteen years ago.” he elaborated awkwardly. Feeling his face get a bit hot, he ran his hands over the sides of his hair.   
  
“I don't understand why you never said anything.” she crossed the room.   
  
He reached out without with one hand to touch her cheek. “I'm a coward.” he laughed once. “Then when you started dating Ricky I just sort of assumed we weren't on the same page.”   
  
“So what do you want? Are you going to make an effort, or are we going to go back to this stupid dance?” she asked, touching the hand on her face.   
  
“I-” he hesitated, swallowing thickly. He was The Flash now. This wouldn't be easy. “I need to work through some things first. Is that okay?”   
  
Her face fell and she pulled back from his touch.   
  
“This is your last chance, Barry. I can't keep waiting for you, and I won't. I can't keep going back and forth.”   
  
“I meant what I said in that voicemail … I wanted to sort this out, address whatever is between us, but then the accident and ... I just want to be my best self for you. I don't feel like I can give you that right now.” he wasn't lying, but it made the other lies he was keeping from her that much heavier.   
  
“The best Barry is my best friend who always looks at me with that big stupid grin on his face and makes my brain hurt with his big science rants.” she wrapped her arms around his waist.   
  
Barry sighed and wrapped his arms tightly around her, leaning on her very slightly again. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He couldn't lose her, but he couldn't tell her. Things were getting complicated again, but for different reasons. He remembered what Caitlin said before about letting her go.   
  
“Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something, you know? Maybe we can never get it together because we were never meant to.” he lied, and of course, Iris could tell. “You said so yourself, I had sixteen years to tell you how I felt and something got in the way every single time. Maybe it's just not--”   
  
Iris quickly cut him off. “-- I can't believe that after everything you're going to stand here and lie to my face when you know all I've ever asked from you is honesty.” she pulled away from his embrace. “You know what? Don't talk to me until you're ready to be honest with me. I can't stand here and be lied to.” she started to make her way towards the door. He reached out and tried to stop her.   
  
“There's more to this than you can understa--” she moved away from his touch.   
  
“No there isn't Barr. You need to grow up and communicate with me.” she headed out the door and Barry stood there in his lab, fighting with himself on whether or not to go after her.   
  
In the end, he let her go, or at least Barry did. The Flash? Well, he had a harder time staying away.

* * *

There was a blur of red and The Flash was at the Central City Picture News Station. It was completely empty aside from Iris who was sitting at her desk, crying softly into her arm. She felt stupid but she just wanted things to work for once.  
  
"You can't be having the worst day, I'm having the worst day!"   
  
Iris shot him a doubtful look, quickly wiping her eyes.   
  
"The Flash has bad days?"   
  
"I'll make you a deal, I'll give you an interview if you talk about my abs." He grinned, not that she could see. The Flash wasn't attached to Iris, so he could make a joke outmoded the situation.   
  
"Are you always this obnoxious?"   
  
"Ouch. Really not doing well?"   
  
"You first,"   
  
"Me? Just coming terms with the fact that being a Superhero in real life is almost exactly like in the comic books. I carry heavy burdens, but the people of this city just see the smiling hero saved them from fires and evil metas” The Flash looked at the floor, getting serious.   
  
“You always seem so happy.” she said dryly.   
  
“That's usually because you're around.”   
  
Iris wanted to reach out to him but she knew the moment she moved he would zip himself to the other side of the room.   
  
“Well Flash, I'm intrigued and I need a distraction. What kind of burdens does a man with SuperSpeed have?” she rested her head on her hands and looked up at him.   
  
“Lies.”   
  
“What?”   
  
“I'm forced to lie to everyone I love. It eats away at you. It hurts everyone you love and you have to just watch it. It destroys everything you touch and sometimes it consumes you. It tears me apart.”   
  
“Why not just tell them?”   
  
“Because I have to protect them,” he answered simply. “I have a lot of enemies … enemies that could use my family against me or even hurt them to get to me.” he looked down at his gloved hands.   
  
“You should tell them. They deserve to know.” Iris argued with that look in her eye. The one she usually have him when she was about to win an argument. “If I found out someone close to me was keeping a secret like that: I don't know how I would ever forgive them. Trust me, I've got a guy in my life that insists on keeping me in the dark. I told him to not talk to me until he can tell me the truth.” There was something in her tone that Barry struggled to identify.   
  
“I wish it was that easy.” Flash rubbed his hands together. “My family doesn't understand that though because I can't tell them. I've ruined a lot of relationships because unlike the comic books, the hero doesn't get the girl.”   
  
“There's a girl, huh?” she raised her eyebrows. “She must be pretty pissed. Doesn't she get a say in this?”   
  
The Flash fell silent ... did she know ? She couldn't have known.   
  
“Maybe next time you'll tell me.” her tone had an edge to it, that once again Barry failed to identify.   
  
“Your turn,” said Flash.   
  
“That guy in my life. He and I took a nosedive. One minute he's in love with me and he wants us to be close, the next he’s refusing to let me touch him. A while ago we were just kissing and he ran out the door. Now he’s saying it's the universe keeping us apart but I know he's lying. I know when Barry lies. I just don't understand what it is. I don't care what his reasons are as much as I just want them. I don't care if he's scared of something, or what. We were friends first, we can be friends again but he needs to be honest with me. Because all of this back and forth does nothing but make me feel like crap.” She didn't take her eyes off of him.   
  
The Flash swallowed hard.   
  
“That sounds like quite the pickle. He's a fool for not realising what he's missing out on--” he began, his words clumsy but he was cut off.   
  
“Flash, when are we going to stop playing Spider-Man and Mary Jane?”   
  
“What do you mean?”   
  
She stared through him, even while not being able to see his face.“Cut the crap, Barr.” She sighed.   
  
“I can imagine you have questions,” said Barry as he slowly stopped vibrating.   
  
“Not really.” she shrugged and silence hung between them.   
  
“I'm sorry, Iris.”   
  
“I lied, I have one question. Was all of that stuff before a lie? Or just the cane?” she crossed her arms.   
  
“When I woke up from the coma I had complications. I wasn't able to walk on my own or talk for a while. I recovered at a surprising rate.” He went on. “The first time I kissed you, that was the first time I ever used my powers, but Caitlin and Doctor Wells said we needed to avoid suspicion so I've been using the cane. I'm supposed to ditch it in about a month.”   
  
Iris nodded but didn't say anything.   
  
“Where do we go from here?”   
  
“That’s entirely up to you. The ball is in your court now, bit I can't play games anymore.”   
  
“How did you know?”   
  
“Pat saw you stop the hostage situation. He drew it.”   
  
“Dammit.” this night couldn't get any worse it seemed.   
  
“Listen Barr. I'm going to head home,” said Iris after a moment, she turned in her chair and started to shut down her computer. "It's time we finally sit down and talk about _all_ of this, not just our relationship or we cant be anything at all."   
  
He extended a gloved hand, catching her arm. "Wait ... I have something to say first."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were any of you Ouran Highschool Host Club fans back in the day? For some reason as everyone learned Barry was the Flash I kept picturing that lightbulb animation from the first episode of that anime.


	14. Enter The Arrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whammied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit I don't have specific warnings for this chapter but Barry gets kind of scary for a bit.

“Barry, I don't think there's anything else to say right now. Bett is probably wondering where I am.” Iris was tired, she didn't want to play games anymore.

“I want you to come home.” Silence hung in the air ad Barry focused on her reaction. He waited, and when she was sure she wouldn't speak he spoke again. “Every time the opportunity presented itself 

... I wanted to tell you that I wanted you to stay I just-- I got interrupted either by life or by my own fears. It's what I wanted to tell you when you told me you were going to date my co-worker. Then I wanted to tell you again before the accident every day after I woke up and I just let you walk away because I was scared.” he licked his lips and looked at his hands in his lap, trying to find the right words. “Please come home. I know things have been weird and I know that's my fault. I know that, but you know me. You know when I lie and I'm not lying. I want you to come home with me. Iris … I know what's wrong now and I'm ready to work on everything. If you'll just … come home with me.”

“I'm going to go home.” she stood again and pulled her purse over her shoulder. She started to leave and Barry felt his mouth go dry. Iris stopped and turned to face him. 

“Is there anything I can say right now to stop you from walking away?” He was hunched over slightly, his chin resting on his hands. 

“No, but you can take off that mask.”

Barry seemed confused but pulled his hood down. Iris moved in and pressed her lips to her forehead.

“Be safe, Flash … Barry.”

“Iris--”

“Finish up your rounds, or however a Superhero operates and come home soon.”

Barry nodded once. “I'll hang up the suit and meet you.”

“We have a lot to sort out. We can't keep messing around.”

“I know.”

* * *

Back at S.T.A.R. Labs Barry hung up his suit.

“You look different. Lighter.” came a voice muffled around a candy cane.

Barry jumped slightly, he had assumed everyone was out for the day.

“What are you doing?” asked Barry, his eyes falling on Caitlin who sat at the front Cortex desk near the comms.

“Blood work.” she shrugged.

“Were you listening?” 

“To what? Your creepy midnight meeting with iris? Kind of. You accidentally turned on the comms, but I stopped listening at some point.” she shrugged. “Not really my business.”

“Iris has known my secret for a while apparently.” 

“Oh?”

“What are you doing here?” 

“Couldn't sleep. So I came here to study Bett and Todd’s Bloodwork.

Barry moved to sit down next to her, grabbing a candy cane from the box and unwrapping it at superspeed. 

“Iris and the cats waiting for me at home,” Barry started. “but you can always talk to me.”

“I know Barry.” 

“I'll see you at Joe’s for Christmas,” he added before vanishing.

 

Barry soon returned home. The sound of Bohr’s pleads for his attention were muffled slightly by the heavy door but welcomed. He carefully pushed the door open and the cat scaled his back, getting comfortable on his shoulders. Barry could hear the shower running so he made his way over to the kitchen pulled out a pan to boil water with. 

He pulled out four boxes of the spaghetti noodles he had been buying in bulk to sustain his super-powered cells. He started to hum a tune as he waited for the water to boil. He didn't even notice the shower turn off, he was focused on food. 

“You're singing again,” Iris commented from behind him. 

The water was boiling now, so with his speed he emptied the noodles into it before turning around to face her with a small smile.

“Well, you're here.” he shrugged. He looked off to the side quickly when he saw she wore only a towel.

“I'm going to go get dressed and wrap up my hair.” she disappeared into his room and Barry focused on his pasta. 

“Are we feeling a small army?” she asked a bit later, investigating the stack of empty boxes. He had added in a few more after some consideration.

“I have to eat ten-thousand calories a day,” Barry replied. 

“How are you not fat?”

“All the cells in my body are in a constant state of flux and regeneration.” 

“Barr, I only speak English.” 

“Your cells, they move like this.” he opened and closed his hands slowly. “My cells:” his hands became a blur. “I heal rapidly and my muscles are constantly in movement, that's why I have abs now.”

“You actually have abs?” she cocked a brow.

He lifted his shirt slightly to show off the defined muscles with a chuckle.

“When did that happen?”

“Around the time you jump-started me,” he smirked.

“What is that supposed to mean?” A laugh passed her lips. 

“When I say I got my powers when you kissed me, I meant it. That wasn't my phone vibrating against your leg, it was my hand. Then I accidentally ran into the garage doors out back, then to S.T.A.R. Labs.” he winced at the memory.

Iris stepped forward and reached up to play with the hair on the back of his neck. 

“Really?” she replied casually, inching closer. 

Barry raised an eyebrow at her and she stretched up to press her lips against his. 

He leaned down and accepted the kiss, one hand on her cheek and the other lightly cupping her neck. Gently, she sucked in his bottom lip-- his whole body vibrated for a fraction of a second and her laughter broke the kiss. 

“Okay, that was your  _ entire _ body.”

“Don't get cocky, West.” he rolled his eyes and turned around to stir the noodles.

"Also, even if you are cute and distracting, we have to talk. I was serious about that.”

“You seem pretty pleased,” he argued, but he knew there was more going on under the surface, but he didn't want to dig that up yet. Things a were finally  _ right _ . “Do we have to do this now?”

“There's just one more thing I need to know.” 

“What’s that?”

“Even when we weren't talking, why did you come to see me as the Flash?” 

“Because if I couldn't be there for you as Barry, the Flash was going to have to suffice,” he replied, moving to strain the pasta in the sink. “Iris, The Flash has never lied to you. It was hard to keep everything from you. There were other reasons, of course, more selfish ones … but a lot of the time I just wanted to be with you.”

“I didn't know about this entire part of your life for a year, Barr. More than a year! I knew you started keeping things from me, but I never thought you would keep something like this from me. Do you know how that makes me feel?” 

Barry dumped the noodles back into the pot.

“Do you remember when Dr. Wells called you and said I was having trouble with the tests they were running? When he put you through to me and you grounded me?”

She nodded in response. Of course she remembered.

“I was up against a really serious meta. He could duplicate himself and I was losing it, I was only able to beat him because you talked me down.” he began to pour cheese and sauce directly into the pot.

“Why is that relevant?”

“Because even if you didn't know what was going on, you have  _ always _ been a part of this. You're a part of me. Without you, the Flash wouldn't even exist. I would just be a scared guy who can go fast.” 

He moved to the kitchen table and made himself a bowl of the spaghetti. Iris grabbed a bowl herself.

“I think I learned something though.

“Me too.”

“I think at for a while I didn't know how to exist without you, and that wasn’t healthy. For either of us.” he finished his bowl and made another one.

“I think I got the same way with you. We really built up these walls around ourselves. Ricky and I didn't work out because I couldn't let him in. I didn't want to admit it for a long time.” 

“I made some new friends, but I don't know how to let them in either. Not  _ really _ . You know? It's been you and me for as long as I can remember. I didn't even know Bett’s real name because I never thought to ask.” he added more noodles to his bowl. “I'm sorry I kept you in the dark, Iris. I’ve learned some things and I want to tell you, but I need time to process everything, but I want this to work for us.” 

“and I realised that it's not entirely realistic for me to know every aspect of your life … but keep me in the loop on the important stuff, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“I’m glad we finally talked about this.”

* * *

The next day at work Joe stood awkwardly in the doorway. Barry didn't know how long he had been standing there when he finally looked up and saw him. Looking almost out of place.

“Joe …” Barry nodded in his direction.

“Barry, I was wrong.

“What?”

“When the Flash saved us-- he looked like a man in lighting. I'm sorry I never believed you. I was wrong about--” 

Barry’s phone went off.

“I'm sorry, it's Heather,” said Barry, answering it. “Hello?”

Heather spoke frantically into the phone, explaining that Parker had had some sort of episode, mixed with several pleas of ‘please tell me he's with you. He would have gone to you’ 

“No. He’s not. Listen, Heather. I promise you, I’ll find him and bring him home. I promise.” he hung up the phone. “Joe I have to go, Parker is in trouble.”

“What kind of trouble could he be in? We're talking, Barr.”

“He’s in danger, he needs me.” pulled his suit from his bag. “I wish you could find out under better circumstances.” He pulled on his suit in a blink. “We can talk later, but I need to go.”

Joe blinked. There was a gust of wind and when he opened his eyes again, Barry was gone.

 

“Cisco, are you there?” Barry activated the Comms.

“Right here,” said Cisco, spinning in his chair.

“I need you to scan the area for even the smallest energy bursts.”

“Got you. I'm picking up something just outside of town. Looks like a warehouse. a few miles west of your location.” 

“I'm on it, thanks.”

When he approached the warehouse the ground shook beneath him.

“Parker?” called the Flash as he headed into the abandoned building. He began to search the place, the scent of mould assaulted his nose as he tried to locate the boy. “Parker?” he called, his voice vibrating.

Parker sat alone, against the wall behind some old crates, waves of energy radiating off of him.

“Parker.”

“I'm sorry. I can't stop. Please don't take me away. I'm sorry, Flash! I'm trying. I swear I'm trying.” the boy curled up tighter, wanting the waves to stop.

“I know. I can help, let me help. I won't take you away.” he reached out to him but Parker flinched away.

The Flash knelt down and stopped vibrating his face and voice, pulling off his cowl so Parker could see his face.

“Parker. I’m going to help you. It’s okay. You know me. You're safe.” 

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry,” he repeated quietly.

“I got you. It's okay.” Barry assured him. He held tightly to the wall and one of the crates as another wave washed over him. “We’re going to figure this out. I'm going to put these things on your wrists so the waves top.”  He pulled two separate pairs of handcuffs from his suit and carefully attached one to each of wrists, so his powers would be contained but he wasn't restrained. 

The energy waves stopped.

* * *

“I knew you were hiding something.” Said Caitlin seriously, making her way across the Cortex to the medbay. “I need a blood sample-”

“No.” Barry stepped between Caitlin and Parker who sat on one of the beds. “Just … don't touch him right now.”

“Barry, I can't help him if I don't have his DNA.” Caitlin crossed her arms.

“He needs time, he’s just a kid… My kid … kind of … a little. Just-- we need to wait a little.”

“Did you know this place has no security?” came Joe’s voice from behind them. “I just walked in here.” 

“Hey, Joe …” Barry trialled off.

“You need to cut this out. You think you can run around and play hero just because you can move fast? You aren't indestructible. You are just a kid!  _ My  _ kid.”

“Whoa,” said Cisco.

“I'm not your kid, Joe. You’re not my dad. My dad is locked up in iron heights for a crime he didn't commit!” his voice seemed to be raising.

“Barry,” said Parker. “he just wants you to be safe.” 

Barry turned around to face Parker. “Just, don't.” he cut the boy off and turned back to Joe. “If I save someone from a burning building, or lock up someone like Clyde Mardon so they can't hurt anyone-- I’m gonna do it and you can't stop me.”

“You think you're so smart ...” Said Joe before leaving.

Barry rubbed his face. He had to focus on Parker and what they were going to do about his powers.

“We’re going to have to tell Heather.” said Barry.

“Heather?” Caitlin raised her eyebrows. 

“His mother.” Barry clarified, pulling out his phone. He turned to face Parker.

“Hey, listen. You are being so brave. I know a lot is going on but we need to tell your mom that you're safe, but she can't know about me, okay?” 

Parker nodded and Barry used the S.T.A.R. Labs phone to dial Mrs. Codwell’s number. She answered on the first ring. 

“Hello, Heather Codwell? This is the Flash.”

* * *

“I'm sorry,” Heather interrupted. “I'm not following.”

“About a year ago when the particle accelerator exploded dark matter released--” Heather cut him off. 

“Barry, can you please stop vibrating like that? It's incredibly distracting.”

“What-”

“Mothers know everything … Also, a lot of things just add up.” she crossed her arms. 

Barry sighed and stopped his actions, pulling his cowl down. 

“Dark matter came in contact with your son and manifested itself in giving him these powers. We want to study them and see how to help him manage them. None of this is his fault. He was just given powers far beyond his understanding.”

“Can I take him home?” she asked, as it was really all she cared about at the moment. 

“Soon. I promise.” Barry nodded. “My friend Cisco Ramon--” he squeezed Cisco’s shoulder. “--he's a brilliant engineer and he's coming up with something that will contain his energy bursts without hurting him. Our biochemist, Dr. Snow--” he gestured to Caitlin who was looking or a file. “--Would like to take a blood sample as well if that's alright?”

“Anything that will help him, please do it.”

“I promise, your son is in good hands.”

“I trust you, Barry.” Heather nodded and stepped forward, hesitating before pulling him into a tight hug. “Thank you.”

* * *

When Christmas rolled around Barry was debating on whether or not to show up at all. After how he treated Joe? He rolled over in bed and heaved a sigh. He only had twenty-four hours to decide if he was going. On one hand, he had never missed it, not once, no, after how much they were fighting. On the other, he couldn't think of a time he had ever said something that ungrateful to Joe. So it wasn't an easy choice for him by any means.

“Honey?” came Iris’s voice from the kitchen.

“Me?” Barry called. 

“No, Wells. Yes, you!” he could hear her laughing from the other room. 

Things were so easy for them. No matter what happened, they could figure out what was wrong and talk it out. Even if it took a while. Once they did-- it was easy. Barry rose from the bed and made his way into the front room. Within a few weeks they were in sync again.

“You're up early.” he pointed out, Bohr quickly taking his usual place on Barry’s shoulder. 

“It's almost eleven.” 

“Oh man, really?” he rubbed his face but smiled when he saw her seated on the sofa with her laptop.

“You've been real broody lately, and sleeping in.” Iris pointed out with a frown. 

“A lot of Flash stuff.”

“Like?”

“Well, I'm trying to get Parker under control.”

“What's wrong with Parker?” Iris stopped typing and turned to face him. 

“Uh … Parker is a metahuman. He’s the cause of all the earthquakes.” 

“Wait, what? That doesn't make any sense. Parker wouldn't hurt a fly! He cried when I killed that spider a few weeks ago.”

“He's not doing it on purpose. Not all metas can control their powers.” Barry plopped down on the sofa next to Iris.

“What about Pat?”

“What about him?”

“Is he a meta too?” this was admittedly a lot for her to take in at the present moment.

“I don't think so. He would have told me if he was.” Barry shrugged his shoulders. 

Iris sighed and rubbed her face.

“We know two metahumans.” she said in disbelief. “So much is going on. We still have to decide what we’re bringing to the Christmas Eve party at my dads.”

Barry rubbed the back of his neck and an anxious expression. 

“Yeah listen … I don't know if I'm going this year.”

Iris looked at him as if he just suggested the best thing for them to bring was a ritual sacrifice.

“Joe and I are in a rough patch at the moment.”

“You and my dad are  _ always _ in a rough patch.”

“I said some really terrible things to him, Iris.”

Iris sighed and set her laptop down before getting up and going to sit with him on the other side of the sofa.

“What happened?”

Barry visibly hesitated and Iris crossed the sofa to sit next to him.

“This is one of those things you need to let me in on, Barr.” 

“I told him I wasn't his kid and that he wasn't my dad.”

“Barr…”

“I know it's bad. I was just so mad that he was talking down to me.” Barry sighed and rubbed a hand across his forehead. “I don't know how to come back from that, after everything.”

* * *

Iris had convinced Barry to come to Christmas after all. All it took was a little mix of bribery and guilt-tripping that she only felt a little guilty for. They were, of course, the first to arrive, having made a meatloaf. They had initially planned on baking a cake as well, but well, that turned into a flour fight and by the time they pulled apart they had a half hour to get cleaned up and leave.

“Joe--” said Barry, wanting to get it over with before the others arrived. 

“Hey, Barr.”

“I'm sorry for what I said, about you not being my dad. You've been a dad to me since I was eleven, and I never want you to think I'm ungrateful for all you've done for me. Or that I don't … love you ...--” he mumbled.

“I get it, Barr. I think we were both just a little fired up. Let's forget about it, it’s Christmas.” he stepped forward and hugged his son.

Caitlin was the first to arrive after them, Barry let her in and greeted her with a hug, surprising both of them.

“I'm really glad you could make it.”

“I didn't know what to bring-- so I just did wine I hope that's fine.”

“Absolutely.” Barry nodded and soon Bett arrived as well. Eddie was spending the holiday with his parents but did say he would try to stop by if he managed to slip away. 

Cisco arrived last, arguing on his cell phone in Spanish.

“What was that about?” asked Barry who had always regretted not taking a language in high school.

“Just my mother wondering why I left. Because apparently, it's disrespectful to just not let them complain about every aspect of my life.”

Barry offered him a drink.

“Thanks.”

“So,” said Sarah, coming into step beside Iris. “Did you and Barry sort things out?”

“Barry and I had a really long talk and we have a lot of things to work on, but we're communicating way better now.” Iris smiled and took a sip of eggnog. “Which is more than enough for me.” 

Sarah wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a half hug.

“That's good. I don't have to kill him.”

“Oh hi Iris,” said Eddie in an incredibly staged nonchalant tone, he had just arrived and was now standing uncomfortably close to her. 

“Hi?” she questioned, moving away a bit. 

He rushed to the other side of her, making her walk the other direction.

“Eddie, what are you-” she glanced across the way and saw that Bett was pulling the same stunt with “Edgar Thawne are you heading me like a sheep?” Iris demanded.

“You know--” Barry said quietly. “Almost everyone here knows I'm the Flash, besides my aunt. I will speed force you to Finland when she’s not looking leave you there.” he threatened, nearly tripping over his own feet. He hadn't realised he was being herded.

“Absolutely not! That would probably be illegal.” Eddie said to Iris innocently.

“It  _ would _ be illegal if she files harassment charges,” said Joe. 

Eddie nodded to Barry and Bett on the other side of the room and then to the mistletoe that hung between the living room and dining room. 

“But I’m off duty,” Joe added quickly, going to check on dinner.

“What are you  _ doing _ ?” Barry asked in a very annoyed tone, backing up in the direction that Bett was pushing him in.

“Barry, turn around.” Iris chuckled and Barry turned to face her. 

“Hi?” it came out sounding like a question. Iris nodded upwards, causing Barry to glance up and see the mistletoe hanging over them.“Very funny guys,” Barry crossed his arms. “ _ Real mature _ .”

“Well?” Iris pressed her lips together.

“Here? Everyone's staring at us,” said Barry, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. 

Iris stretched up on her toes and kissed his cheek. 

There was a loud ‘booo’ from Cisco, which earned a laugh from Caitlin.

It was right about that time that the Codwells arrived that Barry finished informing every one of the history of mistletoe.

* * *

When Iris and Barry got home, Iris sat herself on the sofa.

“Can I sit with you?” asked Barry.

“Always.” she smiled up at him and he came to sit beside her, putting one arm on the back of the sofa. “Things are finally starting to look up.”

“Yeah.” 

“So, you don't like kissing in public?”

“Well not really, but I also kinda want to talk to Joe about us a little first … that's going to be awkward. I don't want to do anything that makes him feel weird. Is that okay?”

“I kind of get that.” Iris agreed, partially anyway. “Of course it's okay, Barry. It’s just interesting.”

“Interesting, how?” Barry brought his arm down around her waist and pulled her against his side. His lips found her jaw in a quick kiss but he kept his face pressed into her hair.

“I can't even count how many nights we’ve stayed up just talking about anything-- but we never talked about stuff like this.” she shrugged her shoulders. “It's an entire unexplored territory.”

“Thank you for coming home with me.” he murmured. 

“Home is wherever you are, Barr,” she replied with a smile, placing a hand on the one around her waist.

“Let's go to bed.” he suggested, one hand now playing with her hair.

“Sounds like a plan.” Iris went to stand but was stopped by Barry’s arm.

“Fun fact, you have to actually let me go to bed if you want to go to bed.” 

Barry made a childish sound from the back of his throat and pressed a kiss to her neck. 

“Comfortable.”

“You baby.” she rolled her eyes and moved so her head was in his lap, idly playing with his hand as she looked up at him.

“Technically I could use my speed to get us both ready for bed in a few seconds.

“You could dress me without peeking?” 

“I did once for Caitlin when she was drunk and got trapped in her dress.”

“That's impressive but I think I can get ready for bed on my own,” she replied. “Also, I love you.” she smiled.

“I love you too.” he smiled and reached down to brush some hair from her face.

“We spent all this time talking about what you want but I never told you what I wanted.”

“What do you want?”

“I want to figure everything out, and things are already starting to make sense. I love you.” Iris stood and went to change into one of his shirts and a pair of leggings.

“I still take pride in being able to touch your stuff,” she called before getting into bed.

“Don't get cocky, West.” he changed into some sweats with the help of the speed force.

“Or what, Allen?” 

“ _ Or what, Allen _ ?” he echoed in a high pitched voice.

“I do  _ not _ sound like that.” she sat up and crossed her arms.

Barry sniggered into his hand and she threw a pillow at him.  _ Easy _ . Everything was easy.

In a blink, he was on the bed and Iris gasped, nearly falling backwards in surprise.

“Sorry!” he laughed a little “Sometimes I don't think before I speed.”

“It's okay,” Iris was laughing too now. “It's just going to take some getting used to,” she pressed her forehead against his.

A smile spread across his lips and Iris pulled back slightly.

“What?”

“I'm just … done running.” he reached out and gently tilted her chin upwards so he could bring their lips together.

* * *

Iris, Bett and Barry sat at the Big Belly Burger a few blocks from the precinct.

“Is that Eddie?” asked Bett, before calling out. “Detective Pretty Boy!” 

Eddie turned around with a tray of food in his hands. “Hey, guys.” Eddie smiled and the group likened him to a golden retriever, imagining him with ears and a tail. It was really hard to dislike Eddie after you got past his cocky exterior. He was a very warm person.

“Wanna sit with us?” Iris offered.

“Sure, but I'm on my lunch break so I'll probably zip out pretty fast.”

“We're used to that,” said Iris dryly. 

“Excuse me. I am protecting the city. I don't see anyone else in the city who can move at Mach four--” said Barry, defensively but was quickly cut off.

“I know, babe, and I love you for it,” said Iris, kissing Barry’s cheek.

He shut up and Bett chuckled. “So  _ that's  _ how you turn him off?” she teased. 

“Yeah, it took me about twenty years but I finally got it!”

“Hey,” protested Barry, stealing one of Iris’s fries.

“Hey, hands off my fries,” she stuck her tongue out at him.

“So are you guys finally going to talk to Joe?” asked Eddie.

“Yeah, today actually. I timed it perfectly to put him in a good mood.” Iris smiled, proud of herself.

“Good luck.”

* * *

“You're both here. At the same time,” said Joe, rolling up the newspaper in his hands and setting it aside.

“Yeah. We wanted to talk to you.” Iris smiled. “ _ Barry _ has something to tell you!”

Barry shot her a pleading look which she pretended not to see.

“Well. I um. You see. This might be weird for you, but Iris and I would like to move in together.”

“About damn time.” replied Joe simply. 

“That's it?” asked Barry. “You're okay with this?” 

“Barry I've been waiting for you two to get your crap together for years. At this point I'll accept any session you make as long as it's made”

* * *

“Do you have some time to talk?” Barry came into the bedroom after work, setting his kit down before he crossed the room and kissed her cheek.

Iris set down her laptop on the nightstand. She had been working on another article about The Flash. She sighed and feigned frustration.

“I guess.” 

Barry laughed and came to sit next to her.

“So--” he stopped and held his head. 

“You okay?” Iris frowned. 

“I ran to Starling City today.” he yawned. “To see an old friend.” 

“More mystery?”

“There is something I need to give you, but you can't ask questions.” he began, watching for her reaction. “Do you trust me?”

"Yes, I trust you.” she gave one serious nod. 

“Give me your phone.” 

Iris pulled her phone from her pocket and handed it over to him without much of a second thought. 

Barry took the phone and entered the password, Iris had the same password for everything, so it was no secret to him. He opened her contacts and typed one in under the name ‘AA’.

“There are some things going on right now that I can’t explain fully yet, but if there is ever an emergency and you can't reach me, call this number. Tell the person on the other end that you need help. All you need to do is mention my name. He knows both my identity so doesn't matter what you tell him.”

“I don't need a babysitter, Barry.” she crossed her arms. 

“Iris, this might not even be about you. It could be about me, just, if there is an emergency reach out to this person.”

“Okay, Barr.” She nodded once. 

“The metas in the city are really rearing their ugly heads.” he sighed and dropped his face into his hands. “Today I took down a girl who could sort of teleport.” 

“Do you want me to make you something to eat?”

“No, I'll be alright, but I would love to sit with you for a bit.” 

“Absolutely.” she was actually grateful for the company, they hadn't spent time together in a few weeks, not really anyways. She slid down the sofa and kissed his cheek. “Actually, I might not let you get up.” 

A soft chuckle passed his lips and he leaned ducked down slightly to press his lips to the top of her head.

* * *

The next three days passed slowly, Barry was out of the house a lot. The city needed him to catch the meta who had terrorised Central City bank. Iris wouldn't admit to herself that she was worried. Maybe it was because she had seen him vulnerable? She could remember clearly nights where Barry laid in her lap, withered down to nothing; in stark contrast to his usually sunshine self. Iris wished it wasn't her day off so she could have some form of distraction,

Barry came through the door in the early evening and Iris shot upright. She had felt the tension right away. She approached him. His shoulders were hunched slightly, his brow creased into hard lines.

“What happened, Barr?” Iris approached him. 

He ignored her and marched into the bedroom, pulling a duffel bag from his closet and began throwing some of her clothes into it.

“Barry, what are you doing?”

“You're going out of town.”

“What? No, I'm not sit down and talk to me--” she tried to stop him, he jerked his hand away. “I'm going to call my dad.”

“Why?” Barry demanded. “So he can tell me I'm crazy again?” his voice was rising now. “He should be getting my dad out of prison. He put him there, remember? Then spent fifteen years telling me I was out of my mind and letting Birde walk all over me?” 

Iris crossed her arm. 

“ _ Bartholomew Henry Allen _ ,” Iris crossed her arms and stood her ground. “in our twenty years of friendship you have never treated me like this. Tell me what's going on right now, and I swear if you raise your voice at me one more time I am  _ gone _ , and I will not come back this time.” she spoke calmly, but her tone was firm and serious. 

Having once been teenagers co-existing under the same roof, they had had their fair share of screaming matches. But never in almost two decades had he ever looked at her with such rage. Never had he shouted at her with real feeling behind it. This wasn't like when they were kids fighting over the shower, this was pure, unfiltered rage

“You're too cocky, I have to protect you.” 

“Barry, I am a grown woman. Not a child, you can't just tell me where I'm going to go. What's going on?"

Wells and Bohr, who had been asleep on the bed, we're suddenly awake and bunched themselves up, their eyes trained in Barry. They moved to stand by Iris.

Barry stepped closer, his eyes flashing red and Iris stumbled backwards a bit. This was  _ not _ Barry. A cold feeling washed over her as she realised she had no control over this situation.

“I am sending you somewhere safe so you don't get yourself killed! I have to go take care of something when I get back your bag better be packed.”

“Okay, Barry. I'm sorry.” she smiled a little and hoped it was convincing. There was a flash of lightning and he was gone. 

Iris pulled out her phone and dialled the number he had given her a few days ago. It began to ring out and she was almost afraid there wouldn't be an answer. 

“Where did you get this number?” a serious voice asked from the other end. 

“The Flash gave me this number, there's something wrong with him. He threatened me and he's angry. I thought I could calm him down but I couldn't.”

“Where is he now?”

“He said he has to take care of something, but he's coming back. He said he has to take me somewhere safe? I don't know he was angry and his eyes turned red. I wouldn't have used this line he gave me if I wasn't worried.”

“I need you to listen very carefully. Stay where you are. Don't go anywhere. I'm going to take care of Barry. I promise.”

A few minutes later a sound in the kitchen area reached Iris’s ears. She opened the door a crack and peeked out. The kitchen window was open and in the living room stood a tall figure. He stood with his feet apart, and his face was obscured by a mask and a green hood. Holding a bow at the ready he was glancing around the apartment. 

It didn't take long for his eyes to fall on Iris. 

“Iris West, I'm the Arrow.” his voice was disguised by some sort of tech.

_ I have the Arrow on Speed Dial. _ thought Iris in disbelief. 

“Do you know what's wrong with Barry?"

“A Metahuman that S.T.A.R. Labs is calling ‘Prism’ whammied him. It's causing him to act out of character. He's the same meta that caused the riot at the bank earlier this week.” he explained taking a step forward.

“You should come with me to S.T.A.R. Labs, if Barry runs off with you in his current state, we might not be able to fix him.” 

“How can I help?” Iris asked, coming into step beside him. 

“Do you have any ideas on how we can lure Barry to S.T.A.R. Labs? Anything else he might be angry about?” asked the Green Arrow.

“I can lure him to S.T.A.R. Labs but I might have to throw you under the bus.” 

“Whatever you have to do to get him to the lab. Cisco is coming up with something to reverse the effects he's under.” 

The pair made their way to S.T.A.R Labs and Iris sat down in one of the chairs she pulled out her phone and dialled Barry’s number.

Barry answered on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Honey? Your Arrow friend brought me to S.T.A.R. Labs. He said I could draw out Prism? I don't know, but I wanted you to know where I am.”

“He’s using you as bait?” Barry demanded, hanging up the phone. 

Less than ten minutes passed and Barry was in the lab. It didn't take as long as expected to subdue him. Cisco easily hit him with the lights he programmed to reverse the effects when the Arrow distracted him. 

“My head.” Barry groaned and the Arrow pulled him to his feet. 

“Thank you, Iris.” the Arrow nodded and Iris approached Barry slowly. 

“Barry?” 

“Where am I?” 

“S.T.A.R. Labs.” she moved so she was under his arm. “You're going to rest and then we’re going to have a really long conversation over what the hell just happened.” there was no use yelling at him when he couldn’t think straight.

Barry nodded and supported himself on his own two feet.

“I remember everything now … took me a second.” 

“Do you have some weird notion that I can't take care of myself?”

“Not against this, I mean look what he did to me. But also the part of my brain that controls intrusive thoughts was affected. So when I thought ‘I'll hide Iris in Starling City’, instead of my logical brain telling me that was a bad idea. I tried,”  

“That makes sense, but I can take care of myself.”

“I love that about you.” he sighed. “Even if it drives me up the wall sometimes.”

* * *

“Thanks for showing up for me, and the girl.” Barry extended a hand to the Arrow.

“You came through for mine when I needed it.”

"I'm right here and I have a name." Iris interrupted.

"It's superhero talk, sorry."

“How do you two even know each other?” 

“Well .. you see …” Barry trailled off, not sure how much Oliver was willing to reveal to Iris.

“Barry saved my life before he got his powers, and I thanked him by yelling at everyone in the room.” The Arrow actually laughed.

“I put him in his place.” Barry grinned smugly.

“Sure you did, Barr.”

“No, he did. I wasn't being very fair to my tech consultant and he was not pleased with me.” 

“Your moral compass getting you into trouble as always.” Iris teased. “Well, I have things to throw away because it's now incredibly awkward. Can we head out?” 

“Yes, once Oliver and I deal with this meta.” 

“Actually …” Caitlin started, coming into view. “Barry we need to talk about something. It can't wait, not even for Prism” 

Barry glanced at her and immediately took her in. She stood in the Cortex with a sullen look on her face, blood stained her gloved hands along with the front of her shirt.

“What happened, are you hurt?”

“No. It's not my blood. Barry, you need to have a seat.” she pulled off her gloves and found a set of chairs.


	15. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is forced to make a decision he never wanted to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: blood, graphic depection of injuries, and children/young teens in distress.  
> Sorry for the cliffhanger, it's because I love you guys, I swear ...  
> (Writing this made me cry)  
>  

Barry sat on a chair just outside the Medbay, a blood stained t-shirt in his hands, struggling to keep his breathing level. He couldn’t even bring himself to actually look at the medbay, not after the day's events.

Iris soon joined him. Gently, she took the t-shirt from his hands, but he didn't seem to respond to her actions. She didn't didn't say anything for a few seconds, she just carefully took one of his hands, almost afraid he would break apart if she pushed too hard.

“Have you made your decision?” asked Iris after a time, squeezing his hand gently.

“I _promised_ him, Iris. I looked at him and I promised him I wouldn't send him away. He's going to feel like he's being punished. This isn't a choice I can just make.”

“Barry, this _is_ a choice you _need_ to just make.”

“I know, Iris. He just kept looking at me like that … he wanted me to fix it. He trusted me to take care of him and I couldn't. Heather trusted me to make him safe and I let this happen.” he closed his eyes tightly.

“Barry, baby… listen to me: take a deep breath. This isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault," she placed her other hand on his as well. "we'll figure this out together, I promise."

  


**One Hour Ago**

 

A chill passed through Barry at Caitlin’s words, one that resonated deep in his bones and threatened to rob his lungs of breath. A heavy feeling pooled in the pit of his stomach as he tried to figure out what could have possibly happened in a few hours.

“What happened?”

“First of all, everyone is okay. For now, but earlier today, Heather brought Parker to me because he wasn't feeling well. He was complaining of a headache. I examined him but couldn't find anything wrong. He sat in the medbay for a bit, and eventually, he complained of more pain. I ran more tests but I couldn't quite place the problem.” Caitlin took a shaky breath. “Pressure was building within his cells too fast for me to catch it. His organs began to burst and fail, and eventually, he blacked out from the pain bleeding. I managed to treat him with the experimental treatments we’ve been working on, the ones derived from your cells--” she clasped her hands together. “He’s stable-- for now, but we need to start helping him control his powers on his own because if we attempt to dampen them again and something goes wrong, he could die."

Barry stood there for a moment in stunned silence until Iris came into step beside him.

“Barry? What do you want to do?”

“Arrow, you learned a lot of stuff on the island, didn't you?” Barry asked after a moment. “Do you know anything that can help him?”

“Explain what's going on.” replied the Arrow.

“Parker is a teenage boy who was affected by the particle accelerator explosion--” Caitlin went on to thoroughly explain the situation to the Arrow, including how Parker’s powers work.

“Okay … I think I can help him. I certainly have somewhere he can go where his energy bursts can be contained. He would have to return to Starling with me though.” Oliver decided after a few moments of consideration.

“I promised Parker I wouldn't send him away,” said Barry.

“He's asking for you, you can talk about it.” Caitlin reached forward and squeezed his arm gently.

Barry made his way down to the Medbay. He felt ill the moment he entered the room. Parker laid on the bed, crumpled up, his eyes shut tightly. It quickly became apparent why Caitlin was covered in blood. Pat was beside him, gently wiping the mess from his brother’s hands. The source of the bleeding appeared to have, at one point, been the boy’s mouth and ears, as well as a few spots where his skin had torn.

Parker inhaled sharply at the contact and Barry’s insides burned away leaving a hollow, throbbing feeling in their wake.

“How are you holding up, Slugger?” asked Barry, though he knew the answer.

“Everything hurts.”

“I know buddy, I'm sorry. We have to be careful with how much pain medication we give you.” Barry reached out but hesitated, knowing it would probably just hurt Parker more, and pulled his hand back. “I have a friend who might be able to help you.” Barry swallowed. “We still have some stuff to figure out first, but you might need to go to Starling City for a while.”

“You said you wouldn't send me away.”

“I know what I said, buddy.”

“I'm scared.”

“I know,” said Barry, almost unable to look at him. He did this, he felt like. Heather and Parker trusted him to take care of him, and he did _this_.

Barry took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck.

“There are a few other options, but Parker. If we don't get this taken care of, it will be _really_ bad. I wouldn't even consider sending you away if it wasn't bad.” he brushed his hair back gently, careful to not really touch him. “I'm going to talk to your mom and my team. Okay? I'm going to figure this out.” Barry promised before leaving the room.

“Pat, do you want to help Parker get cleaned up?” Caitlin asked. “I'll show you guys where the bathroom is.”

Barry went to the others and they talked about it for a while.reviewing their very few options.

 

In the bathroom Parker sat down in the tub, the warm water hurt his sore body but he dealt with it. He didn't want to worry his brother further who was now gently rinsing his shoulders, partially thickened blood washing away with the water.

“I think you should go to Starling City,” said Pat after one of his shoulders were clean.

“I need to stay.”

“Why?”

“I have to take care of you. So I won't go to that science school and I won't go to Starling. I won't leave you. Dad said.”

“Parker. Dad thinks you have to take care of me because he thinks I'm not smart,” he spoke seriously, they always spoke more to each other than anyone else. “Dad always thought that I wasn't smart and that I couldn't do things,” he explained, moving to wash his other shoulder while Parker started to wash his face with the tinted bath water.

“Dad doesn't think you can't do things.” Parker winced but looked up at his brother in confusion.

“One day when we were little mom and dad were fighting, he kept trying to convince mom to send me to a hospital. He didn't want me if I couldn't do things.”

“That's not true. You're lying. Dad loves you. He hates me.” he winced when Pat started to dry off his shoulders.

“Parker … I don't think dad likes either of us.” Pat finally said. it wasn't really until they’d met Barry and his friends that they realised their relationship with their father wasn't normal. It had taken a while, but as they grew up more, they came to understand that.

“I can't leave you all alone.”

“Parker, it's okay. You'll still be my brother if you're in Starling City.” Pat turned off the water and helped his brother stand and get dressed again.

 

**Present**

 

“Heather, I hope you know that I had no idea--”

“Barry, none of us really understand what's going on. I won't pretend that I'm not freaking out, because I am. I'm terrified, my thirteen-year-old son almost died right in front of me. After we were so sure everything was going to be okay-- but I know if anyone can figure this out, it's your team.”

After a moment, the boys appeared in the Cortex. Their hands clasped tightly together.

“Mom, I'll go to Starling if I have to,” Parker spoke first.

“Parker, I promise we’re looking at every option.” Barry crossed the room. “Okay? I promise I will not send you away if there is another option. I will not stop looking for other options.”

“I know Barry,” he nodded and looked at Pat who nodded. “but if I have to go to Starling, it's okay.”

“How long do we have?” Barry looked at Caitlin.

“A few days,” replied Caitlin.

“Okay.”

* * *

There were a few other people in the visiting room when Barry arrived, seating himself in one of the chairs as he waited for his father to be brought out.

“A visit on a weekday?” Henry smiled. “Must be my lucky week.”

Barry was quiet for a moment. He tried to choose his words carefully.

“What's the matter, slugger?” Henry frowned deeply.

Barry held the headset on both hands. Where did he start? He tried to find his words.

“Do you remember when you convinced me to stop running away here when I was eleven?” Barry started, and Henry nodded in repose. “How did you do it? How did you push me away?”

“Barry, that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I love you, you know that, right?” he was not entirely sure where Barry was going with this conversation.

“No, I know,” Barry shook his head. “It's just that, well. Parker … is sick, like I am … but it's really bad.” he began. “My friend Caitlin and I are trying to help him, but nothing has worked so far.”

“How bad is it?”

Barry didn't answer, which was answer enough for Henry.

“So, how does this tie into me pushing you away?"

“I promised him over and over that I wouldn't send him away-- and I know he's not my kid but … He’s family, dad … Caitlin has a colleague in Starling City who might be able to treat him. The only problem is he has to go away to Central City.”

“He’s thirteen?” Henry checked.

“Yes.”

“He will understand if you talk to him. You just have to be honest with him.”

“Thanks, dad. I knew you would know what to say.” he sighed and ran a hand into his hair.

“I am so proud of you.”

* * *

“Honey?” came Iris’s voice from the front of the apartment. “Barry it's time.”

Barry stood from the bed and erased the small board in his hands that he was scribbling equations onto before heading out.

“I know.”

Iris brought her hands up to cup Barry’s cheeks. Her thumbs gently stroking his cheekbones.

“I know you wanted to find a better way, and you did your best. That's all you could have done. I am _so_ proud of you.”

“If that's the case then why do I feel like this?” Barry asked, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Iris’s.

“Barry. Parker will understand. I promise you.”

They made their way out to the warehouse just outside city limits and Felicity approached them with Diggle beside her.

“Wait, Felicity works with the Arrow?” Iris looked surprised as they went to meet up with Team Arrow.

“Er. Yeah.” he rubbed the back of his neck.

“More secrets, Barr?”

“Hey. This doesn't count. I can't tell you the identities of other Heros.” he laughed a little. “There are rules against that.”

Iris took his hand and they reached the inside of the warehouse.

“Hey, Iris.” Felicity waved awkwardly. “This is John Diggle.”

Iris shook his hand and soon the Codwells arrived. When they got inside The Arrow pulled down his hood and removed his mask, pulling it down and letting it fall around his neck.

“Okay, everything makes sense now,” Iris spoke with eyes wide.

“I don't usually make a habit of revealing my identity to just anyone-- but you're entrusting me with the care of Parker so I figured we should talk face to face.”

“Thank you, Oliver,” said Barry. “It means a lot.”

Oliver began to explain some of the training he received years ago and how he could work with Parker to manage his powers. “He seems like a smart kid, if he isn't too stubborn I can see him being back home before Halloween.”

When they were setting up to leave, Iris kissed Barry on the cheek and gave him a minute with Parker.

“Listen. I want you to know that I looked for every option. I worked with Cisco for days for another option, but there wasn't one. You didn’t do anything wrong. I promise, and I would never let them send you anywhere that I didn't think would help you. Okay? This is my fault.”

“I know Barry. You're sending me with Oliver because he knows how to help me.”

“Okay.” Barry nodded. “I love you, buddy.”

“I know.” Parker smiled and hugged him.

Barry hugged him back tightly.

“Okay, be good,” he told him.

Parker went to go talk to his mother before he left.

* * *

Barry sat on the sofa after work a few days later, he sat in complete silence. Bohr on his lap.

“Why are you sitting in the dark?” asked Iris, having just gotten home from work herself.

“Hmm?” he mused.

“You're sitting in the dark,” she observed, coming to sit beside him.

“You're wrong.”

“So you're telling me you're not sitting in the dark?”

“Nope. I'm sitting with the woman I love.”

“You always think you can distract me by being cute.” Iris rolled her eyes and moved to sit in his hap.

His hand came to rest on her thigh, rubbing slowly back and forth.

“I'm just thinking about Bett’s court date,” he admitted. “They called me to testify.”

“Why?”

“I was there when her dad violated the restraining order. I also performed a citizen's arrest.”

Iris sighed and ran a hand up to push up a few stray hairs that were falling down on his forehead.

“Ah. That makes sense.”

Barry’s hand came up and lightly pushed her hair to the side so he could press his lips to her neck.

“I already told you that being cute won't distract me.”

“ _You're_ distracting _me_ ,” he mumbled against her skin. “You smell good, and you're sitting on my lap.”

“I got a new perfume.”

“Hmm.” he hummed and gently sucked at the apex of her neck and shoulder. “Also, I’ve been thinking about us.

“Hmm?” Iris’ eyes fell closed and she tipped her head back.

“I don't really know what to do for a date. We've kind of done everything date-like as not a date and I want it to be special.”

“Barry, we could order pizza and lay in bed the whole night and it would be a great date,” she argued. “Don't stress over it.”

“I guess you're right, but you deserve something special.” he felt her fingers tangle into his hair. “You're going to make me vibrate again,” he complained.

“Good.” she laughed, pulling him into a kiss. “Now, we have to apartment hunt.”

“Yes, we do … later.” Barry returned his attention to her neck.

“Be careful. We have dinner with my dad on Friday. You have to bring me home clean.” she laughed.

“I'll be good,” he chuckled, moving up to run his hands into her hair, bringing their lips together. “This okay?” he murmured.

She nodded and returned the kiss, her hands resting gently on his wrists.

* * *

“This one is a little bigger than what we wanted--” Iris began, pointing out a listing in the newspaper. “However, it has an amazing view of the city, and we could use the extra bedroom as a workstation.”

“We can look at it.”

“You've said that about the last four, and that's all you said about the last four.” Iris accused, crossing her arms.

“I'm sorry, Iris. I'm just distracted.”

“By?”

“Some Flash stuff has come up and then Bett’s court date is this week. My day job is kind of crazy too-- I'm sorry. I am excited about us finding a place together I'm just stretched really thin.”

 

“You're worried about Parker too, aren't you?”

“Does it show?”

“You know, you can lean on us.” Iris reminded him and laid her head on his shoulder. “You have friends.”

“I keep feeling like I abandoned him.”

“You had to choose the best possible option for him and you did, Barr.”

“I hope you're right.”

* * *

The courtroom was virtually silent when the group arrived. Barry turned to Bett just outside the doors.

“Listen, I called in a favour from Oliver so you've got a great lawyer. I don't know the judge, I think she’s new to the county, but we’re going to be right here with you through the whole thing.”

Eddie reached forward and gave her arm a reassuring touch before they headed inside.

Soon the trial started and Bett testified after Barry and Eddie gave their statements. Iris had wanted to join them at the courthouse house but was caught in traffic on the other side of the city.

It took way longer than Barry expected. Bett's lawyer asked all sorts of victim blaming questions like  _If your rather was that bad, why would you invite him into your life?_ Which really ticked Eddie off. Barry, who was equally pissed off by the defense's attempts to paint Bett as some kind of liar, had more experience in the court room than Eddie and managed to compose himself.

When all was over and settled, the three left together. Barry walked with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Thank you for showing up for me. Last time I dealt with it alone.”

“Of course.”

“Just doing my job,” Eddie smiled.

“I'm going to call Oliver really quick,” Barry separated slightly from the group and dialled Oliver’s number.

“Hey, Barr.” there was the sound of splashing water behind him.

“Hey, we won the case, thank you for the lawyer. I know I've been calling in a lot of favours lately.” he rubbed that back of his neck.

“I'm happy to help, let's meet up soon. Parker is doing exceptionally well. Would you like to talk to him?”

“Sure.” he nodded once, though Oliver couldn't see.

“Here he is--” Parker wiped his hands on a towel and took the phone. “Barry?”

“Hey, slugger. How is Starling?”

“It's okay. My training is very weird, he keeps having me slap water. Felicity is really nice though. I miss home.”

“We miss you too.”

“Is Detective Thawne with you?”

“He is, do you want to talk to him?” Barry seemed confused as to why he would be asking about Eddie.

“Can I?”

Barry held the phone away from his ear and walked back to the group.

“Parker would like to talk to you.”

Eddie accepted the phone but was also a bit confused. “Hello? Yes, Pat is fine. He draws with Bett all the time, yes. Bett’s here but she had a long day … yeah, everything is okay here bud. Okay, here's Barry.” he passed the phone to Barry.

“Hey it's me again-- we have to get going but Pat and your mom are coming to see with when Summer starts, don't forget.”

* * *

Barry headed into CCPN on a Friday around lunch and grinned at Iris.

“Hey, babe. Did you take your lunch yet?”

“Nope! Did you have something in mind?”

“I was thinking we could go out to lunch, that Mexican place you like on 82ed?”

“That sounds perfect, just let me get some stuff sorted, I'll be a few minutes.”

“Is this the famous Barry Allen?” asked a dark-haired woman, coming into view.

“This is him, Barry this is Linda Park, she does Sports.”

“Oh awesome, it's nice to meet you.” he shook her hand. He knew who she was, Iris had mentioned her a few times along with her mentor Mason Bridge.

“We’re heading out to get lunch from the Mexican place on 82ed, do you want me to bring you back anything?” Iris offered.

“I'm good, I've got some queso in the fridge, thanks.”

“Awesome,” Iris messed around with some things on her desk and closed a few tabs on her computer before heading out with Barry.

They walked together until they reached the restaurant, heading in and getting a booth in the back and got chips and guacamole for the table.

“You just decided to surprise me at work?” Iris took a sip of her sprite before turning her attention back to Barry.

“I missed you,” he shrugged.

“Mmmhmm.” she smiled and wiped some guacamole from his chin with her thumb.

“I was wondering if … you would consider coming to spend some time at S.T.A.R. Labs for a little bit.”

“Like, right now?”

“No I mean … after work … and sleeping there,” he suggested gently, each word calculated as if he was defusing a bomb.

“Are you going to tell me why?” Iris crossed her arms, preparing to reject the idea.

“Wells was attacked, and this guy has a grudge against S.T.A.R. Labs and Wells. I don't know what information he has and he may be a metahuman, he shattered a glass ceiling with sound waves.”

“There's no reason he would come after me, so I think it's stupid for me to hide, not that I would anyways.” she rolled her eyes. “but if it makes you feel better I'll hang out there after work for a _little_ bit, get to know Caitlin a little more maybe.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

After work, Iris arrived in the cortex.

“Hey Caitlin,” Iris smiled when she saw her hunched over some blood samples.

“Barry isn't here,” she looked back to her work.

“I just dropped by to say ‘hi’.”

“Oh, Hello.”

“Hey Iris,” said Cisco, coming into view. “Barry is on his way back with Hartley.

“Oh good. Anything I can help with in the meantime? I'm staying here to ease Barry’s mind but I don't want to just be furniture.”

“You could help Caitlin sort blood samples. Also, I'm not saying that because I don't think you can do anything else-- there's just literally nothing else to do in the lab.” he laughed a little.

“Okay, blood samples.” she headed over to Caitlin’s workstation and Caitlin passed her two trays, one empty and one with several vials.

“Could you find all the ones with Barry’s name on them and move them to the empty tray?” she asked.

“Sure,” Iris nodded and began to shift them over. “What do you do with all this blood?” she asked, lifting up a vial and holding it up to the light. Part of her was wondering how Barry was walking around with all this missing blood.

“A few different things. I run health checks once a week and the rest goes into engineering. We’re using his rapid healing to design medial treatments. Like the one I used to save Parker. Oh, and as a side project Cisco and I are trying to create an alcohol that can actually keep him buzzed.”

“That's really cool. I wish I could write an article about it.”

“That would be nice, wouldn't it?” Caitlin mused. “This doesn't make any sense!” Caitlin sighed in frustration. “I labeled everything perfectly this time. It isn't right.”

“What's wrong?”

“I've been running tests on Bett and Todd’s DNA, but something keeps going wrong and Bett’s DNA is contaminating the samples.”

“What if they're the same?” Iris offered the idea to Caitlin. “I've know I'm not a biochemist but that seems possible to me. If Bett made him like they're saying, then maybe he had to be created directly from her DNA?"

“Why didn't I think of that? Iris you're a genius. I'm going to call them tomorrow.” Caitlin sighed and rubbed her face. "I think I was way too close to this project. I've been obsessing since Christmas."

“Barry’s back,” Cisco called.

When Hartley was secured in the pipeline, Iris gave Caitlin a concerned look.

“You okay?” she asked.

“He brought up Ronnie,” said Cisco. “I regret not punching him in the face.”

“Ronnie?” Iris wasn't sure who Ronnie was, she wasn't exactly close to Barry's friends at S.T.A.R. Labs.

“The accident that caused all this,” she gestured around the room. “it also killed my fiance.”

“I'm so sorry.”

A while later, Cisco seemed to figure something out about Hartley and rushed to the holding cells. Iris folded her fingers together and Caitlin was occupied with Barry’s comms as he dealt with some more casual crime. Her attempts to keep a conversation with Caitlin didn't go over so well so she stopped trying.

 

Sometime later, a loud _smack_ pulled Caitlin from her focus, turning to see Iris just behind her, her fists raised up over her face. Hartley had stumbled back slightly. He hadn't seen Iris coming.

“Barry get back here! Hartley escaped!” Caitlin spoke into the comms.

“You can throw a punch, and here I thought you were just a pretty face.”

“I get that a lot, thanks.” her fist flew forward.

He blocked her with his arm and landed a hard hit to her shoulder.

“You have some form.” he allowed.

Iris hit him hard in the face. She moved in for another punch.

He grabbed her arm, effectively blocking her hit.

Iris jerked away and sent her knee to the soft place between his legs. When he leaned forward, winded, she hit him hard in the face again, knocking him to the floor in the process.

“Underestimating me was a mista-” There was a whoosh and Barry was in the cortex.

“What happened?” he glanced at Hartley who was groaning on the floor.

"Iris had my back,” said Caitlin, in a surprised tone.

“Want me to teach you a bit? My dad’s had me in gloves since I was six.”

“No thanks, I'm more of a behind the scenes girl,” she suddenly remembered something. “Cisco!” she rushed to her friend's aid.

“Are you okay?” Barry looked Iris over.

“I'm fine. He's just human,” Iris laughed.

 

When Hartley was secured in the pipeline he dropped a bombshell on everyone by revealing the true reason he left S.T.A.R. Labs. He was threatened and blackmailed into silence once he discovered Wells knew the particle accelerator could explode.

Barry’s fists balled up and Iris carefully took his hand.

“Barr.”

“Is it true?”

“I was aware of the risk,” Wells confirmed.

Cisco and Caitlin left without another word, leaving Barry, Iris, and Wells in the cortex.

“They trusted you. We all trusted you,” Barry closed his eyes tightly. “This _killed_ Ronnie, killed dozens of people. This almost killed Parker! Caitlin and Cisco stood by you after everything, and defended you.”

Wells began to list off names. “Believe me, Barry. I know the names of every single person who died that night.”

Barry stormed out of the Cortex, needing to breathe and process the station but Iris stayed put. Choosing her words carefully, she was a reporter, words were her job after all.

“Caitlin lost her husband, countless other people died. Parker, a _child_ almost died.” she took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second. “Barry has spent months, blaming himself for not being able to protect Parker. Cisco has been blaming himself for Ronnie’s death. I wanted to say that it was no one's fault, but I was wrong. It was _your_ fault.” she stormed her way out of the cortex.

When she caught up with Barry.

“Let's go to Starling this weekend and see Parker,” Iris suggested, taking his hand.

Barry’s fist didn't relax at her touch.

“I trusted him,” Barry growled low. “I'm such an idiot.”

“You're not an idiot, Barr. We all trusted Wells."

* * *

“Where you'd go last night, babe?” asked Iris curiously. “Bank robbery? Mugging?” she licked the remainder of syrup from her fork. She sat at the kitchen table one casual morning, up surprisingly early.

Barry had just entered the apartment for the first time since the previous afternoon. He crossed the room and kissed her cheek.

“Eddie and I worked in a case and then I stuck around with CCPD, got some jewellery thieves, a mugger, a flasher and some others. Sorry, I didn't call.” he was too embarrassed to tell her about his scuffle with the man made of metal. He was afraid she’d lose faith in him.

“My scarlet speedster,” said Iris affectionately. “I have to get going. Big story to work on today.”

“You're finally writing about my abs.” Barry’s tone was joking.

“Guilty.” she kissed his cheek and headed out.

 

Iris was seated at her desk inside CCPN when a voice jogged her away from her work. She looked up to see a man that she felt like she recognised but couldn't quite place him.

“Iris.” he has said with a grin.

“Hello …?” she raised her eyebrows at him.

“It's me, Tony Woodward. You remember me right?”

Fragmented memories of Tony slamming Barry to the ground in strange attempts to impress her. Because apparently, in the tiny brain of ten-year-old Tony Woodward, the way to a girls heart was casing her best friend physical and emotional distress.

“Of course I do,” she crossed her arms, wondering what on earth he could suddenly want after almost a decade.

_‘It was absolutely nothing like I've ever seen before. He was made of metal. Bullets bounced off his face.’_

The T.V. up behind Iris’s head was playing the local news station. She looked up just in time to see the police sketch of Tony appeared on the screen. Iris pulled out her phone behind her back and dialled Barry’s number.

“I got this nice place out in Keystone, you should come see it, and write about me instead of the Flash. that loser was born to take a beating.” he smiled.

“That's a really nice offer, Tony,” she swallowed. “I actually have plans with my boyfriend though.”

“Who's the lucky guy? A cop like your dad?” he scoffed.

“No, he's not a cop, but I have my father on speed dial.”

“Don't you dare try anything,” he stepped into her personal space.

“Iris, are you ready for lunch?” Barry asked, but panicked when he saw Tony.

‘Barry! Yes, let's go.”

“Barry Allen? Oh, West you could do better.”

“We have two very different definitions of _better_. I would leave before the cops get here.”

Tony disappeared and Barry turned to face her.

“Are you okay?” he began looking over Iris.

“I'm okay.”

His hands came to rest on her shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Are you sure?” he checked, his eyes boring into hers.

“Calm down, Bar.”

“Calm down.” he scoffed. “A metal man come after you. I'm the _opposite_ of calm.”

“He doesn't want to hurt me. He wants to impress me.”

“I'm going after him,” he said quietly into her ear.

 **Iris:** _Barry went after Tony Woodward almost an hour ago and isn't back yet, I'm really worried._

 **_Caitlin:_ ** _Why would he do that?_

 **Cisco:** _He WHAT NOW???_

 **Iris:** _What?_

 **Cisco:** _Last time Barry did that it didn't go so well, I'm hacking security cams_ now.

 **Caitlin:** _Iris, you should get to the lab, last time Barry faced Woodward it didn't go well._

 **Iris:** _I'm on my way!_

When Iris arrived at S.T.A.R. Labs she paced around for what felt like hours. Cisco and Caitlin had been long gone before arrived.

Eventually, Cisco and Caitlin arrived in the Cortex with Barry. They laid him down on the cot and iris began taking x-rays and running tests.

“What can I do?” asked Iris.

“Please stay with him.” Caitlin handed Iris a few ice packs after she reviewed his tests. “His injuries should be healed in a few hours. I can't say for sure because there are so many, It might take longer than normal.”

Iris took the ice and gently laid it on Barry’s side where Caitlin was pointing.

“What happened to make him go after Woodward?” asked Cisco.

“Tony showed up at CCPN, he was asking me to write about him. I called Barry behind my back … when he got there he was terrified. He kept asking if I was okay then just went after him.”

“Idiot.” Caitlin sighed.

“We have no idea how to defeat Tony. He shattered Barry’s hand last night.”

“What do you mean?”

“Barry didn't tell you? Last night we found him on the floor with four broken ribs and his entire left hand was shot. Thirty-six fractures in his hand, wrist and arm.”

“He didn't tell me. He said he was out all night.”

Barry groaned and iris placed an ice pack on his head.

Barry smiled a little.

“Iris.”

“Why on earth would you go after a guy you know you can't beat?” Iris demanded.

Barry closed his eyes at the pain that was surging through his nervous system, but still managed to look confused.

“He threatened you. I had to do something.”

“Why didn't you tell me you couldn't beat him? I never would have called If I knew that! Barr.” she sighed.

“I didn't want you to stop believing in me.”

“You could have _died_.”

Barry drifted off to sleep after a few minutes and Iris stayed with him, even though she was mad. She kissed the top of his head and gently ran her fingers into his hair.

She sighed his name and continued to play with his hair and he didn't wake up for another couple of hours.

 

“How did you sleep?” Iris asked dryly, still frustrated with him. She had a right though, he did nearly get himself killed. She replaced the ice pack on his side with a heat pack.

“I had a really nice dream.”

“Hm?” Iris turned her head to meet his eyes and see the smirk on his lips.

“Yeah, I had this really hot nurse taking care of me.” he winked at her.

“This isn't funny, Barry.” she crossed her arms. “Why on earth would you do that?”

“I had to deal with Tony.”

“Barry, you are an idiot!” Caitlin started in on him. “You could have suffered lethal internal haemorrhaging if we hadn't gotten to you in time!”

“Easy Web-MD, I think Iris has got this covered,” said Cisco, pulling Caitlin away. “Come help me out in my workshop.”

“You can't just do that, Barry,” Iris sighed, sliding her hand over his and tangling their fingers together. “You can't be reckless like that … you could have died, Barry.”

“I'm always going to run into the fight, that's who I am, Iris.”

“You also can't lie to me about it!” she went on, not even listening to his response. “You know? My dad is a cop, I can handle you running into dangerous situations if there is really no other options but you went behind my back!”

“Iris, I'm sorry.”

“You better be.” Iris sighed and as she spoke He lifted a hand and brought it up to cup her cheek. “What?” she looked at him funny.

“It's just always great to wake up to you, even if the circumstances aren't ideal.” he sat up slightly and leaned in, Iris pulled back.

“You know kissing me won’t end this conversation, right?” she gave him an incredulous look.

“Yes, I know that. I had a rough few days and I want to kiss my girlfriend.” he grinned at her again.

She leaned down and pressed her lips to his his in a quick kiss.

Barry sat up, most of his injuries having healed up during his nap.

“Let's figure out how to stop this meta human.”

* * *

Cisco and Caitlin (mostly Cisco, mechanical stuff wasn't Caitlin’s forte) managed to build a metal fighting robot for Barry.

“There we go, you're going to fight it.”

“I'm sorry?”

“Your _hot nurse_ is standing by with ice and bandages.” Caitlin offered, of course taking an opportunity to make fun of Barry.

“Hey, that was funny when I wasn't thinking that straight!” he crossed his arms and looked over the robot. “you're the one who diagnosed me with a concussion.”

“Men,” Caitlin rolled her eyes. “So sensitive.”

“Is this … safe?” Iris chimed in.

“For normal people? Probably not, but Barry will be fine.” Caitlin smiled.

Barry got to work on the robot, Iris cringed every time it hit Barry but eventually he got the hang of it.

 

It took a while, but they finally dealt with Woodward and secured him in the pipeline.

“I bet that felt great,” Iris commented after Barry gave his monologue to Tony about using his gifts to hurt people.

“Yes,” he leaned down and caught her lips with his own in a hard kiss, pulling her close.

Iris returned the kiss, her hands running up into his hair.

“We make a pretty good crime-fighting team, huh?”

“Don't push it.”

“I'm still right here,” Cisco announced.

“Sorry Cisco.” but Barry was only a little embarrassed.  


When Iris and Barry arrived home, he moved over to the newspaper and picked it up. “You know, I called a few of these places this week. We can go look at this one tomorrow once you get off work.”

“Sounds perfect, and you're off tomorrow?” she checked.

“Yep,” he folded up the newspaper. “I'm cooking dinner tomorrow too.”

* * *

“Barr.” Iris’s voice was thick with sleep.

Barry was beside her, trailing his fingers up and down her arm, his eyes focused on the movements.

“Hmm?” he leaned over and pressed his lips to the back of her shoulder.

“You're going to make me fall asleep.”

“Then go to sleep,” he chuckled against her skin.

“Honey, we were talking.” She smiled at the feeling of his breath against her skin.

“It can wait,” his lips were at her ear now, one hand sliding around her waist and pulling her securely against his bare chest. He sighed content and buried his face into her neck.

“You're pretty clingy tonight.”

Barry grinned. “It's the Superhero afterglow.”

“Are you saying that being a Superhero is better than sex?” Iris turned over with a soft laugh, so she could face him.

“Well, I wouldn't know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I've only done one of those things.” his hand came up to brush her hair back behind her ear, lingering on her cheek.

“Barry Allen is a virgin?” she laughed a little.

“Who would I have had sex with?”

“I mean, you dated Becky for like a year,” she played with the hair on the back of his neck.

“I would not have had sex with _Becky Cooper_ ,” he mocked how Iris used to say her name, “she complained when I breathed wrong, if we slept together she would probably keep talking about it for a year. No amount of teenage hormones would be enough to endure that level of performance critique.”

“I thought you didn't like bad-mouthing Becky,” she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“I usually don’t, sorry,” he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers.

“You don't have to apologise I can't stand her,” her lips found his in the dim room.

“I can't wait to find an apartment with you.” he smiled against her lips.

“You know … there are some nice little ranch houses by my dad that are in our budget. We could have a yard and a dog.”

“Hmm,” he mused. “but if we move to the suburbs I'll have to start wearing sandals with socks and hosting BBQs."

“If you come look at a townhouse I’ll get you your first Hawaiian shirt.”

“So now you're threatening me?” he pressed his lips to hers, and he felt her hand moved up more into his hair and pull him in closer.

“You're such a soft kisser.”

“Is that a complaint?” his voice had a bit of a cocky edge to it, one that he usually only managed to draw out behind his mask.

“It's an observation, Flash,” she rolled her eyes.

His lips found hers again and his hand tangled gently up into her hair, lightly pulling her closer.

“I'm a nervous kisser, there's a difference.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about you dork. We've been kissing for months,” she felt his breath on her lips and drew him in for another kiss.

* * *

"What about the one on Baker Street?” Iris filled up a glass at the tap. They'd just spent the entire morning looking at apartments.

“That one was way smaller than they made it out to be in the ad. I'm not comfortable putting my dad’s desk in storage, and I just don't think it will fit in there.”

“Oh thank god, I hated that place. The wallpaper was hideous,” Iris shivered and set her glass down.

“The one on Holly was a real gem though!” she smiled. “I really liked it, honestly. It was more than big enough. There was even room for the boys if they ever needed to stay over in some emergency. That extra room could _totally_ fit a few beds _and_ your desk, but the bathroom was terrible and the shower was tiny. You would have to shower crouched down.”

“You're right,” Barry agreed but Iris could tell something was on his mind.

“You know … if we got a little ranch house by dad we could renovate and paint,” Iris crossed the room to join him on the sofa. “We could have one of those cute paint fights couples always have in movies,” she threw her legs over his lap and his hands came to rest on them.

He smiled at her and gave a nod.

“That would be fun.”

“Okay, spill, what's wrong?”

"I'm just thinking about all that stuff with Wells,” he shrugged.

“Oh, babe,” Iris frowned.

Barry’s phone buzzed and he raised his eyebrows, reading off a text from Eddie.

“Wells is holding a press conference at CCPD.” he scrolled down the conversation. "He also wants you to be one of the reporters covering it."

"Fine." She rose from the sofa. "Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a little longer than I intended. I've been re-watching the Flash and trying to get to the library and find some Flash comics, to help me choose some more villians to toss in because I need to work on action. I have lots of villainous plans for the future ... including more pain (: hope you're ready.


	16. Deja Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris and Barry get into a fight about their future and the rest of the day falls apart from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Guns, temporary character death, minor consent issues involving Everyman(Hannibal Bates).
> 
> This is probally the most dramatic chapter I've written so far and I hope I can pull it off. 
> 
> Also shout out to RosyAshes again, she helped me with some banter!

After Wells made his statement to Central City, Barry felt like he could maybe warm up to Wells again but he wasn't sure. He would work with him, help him do damage control, but he just wasn't sure if he could truly trust him.

“How was your day, babe?” Iris asked, not looking up from her laptop. She had heard Bohr screaming at the door for Barry so she knew he was home.

“Well, I saved Joe’s life and inhaled a poison metahuman,” Barry kissed her cheek.

“That's ... _mildly_ terrifying. Are you okay?” she rubbed his arm gently.

“I got the guy.”

“That isn't what I asked, Barry,” her tone was firm and it got his attention.

“I'm okay,” he leaned over to kiss her briefly. “How was your day?” he would much rather talk about her.

“Less life-threatening,” she put her computer away. “How about some superhero afterglow cuddling?” she teased, crossing the sofa and kissed his cheek.

“What were you working on?” he slid himself under her legs with only a little help from the speed force.

“I was doing an exclusive front-page article on the Flash’s abs,” she rested a hand on his chest, earning a smirk from him.

“Oh, yeah? Finally, that place will see some real news.” his lips caught hers again, one hand moving softly into her hair.

“We should talk about apartments and houses, Barr.” she placed her hands on his shoulders when his lips moved to her neck.

“Or we can just hang out here,” he murmured against her skin.

“You're affectionate today.”

“Afterglow,” he pressed his lips gently against the skin exposed by her v-neck shirt.

A week on, Iris sat on Bett’s sofa beside Bett, Eddie on her other side. Todd was off somewhere in the city. He said he needed to explore, and well, he was a grown man. Even if he was a metahuman byproduct.

“Can I ask you guys something?” Iris asked when Eddie paused the movie to get more snacks.

“What's up?” Bett turned to look at Iris.

“Has Barry said anything to you about us getting a new place together?”

Eddie was already in the kitchen area, making popcorn.

“I just talked to him about it at work. He seems excited. He got that uh-- you know that grin he gets. The Barry Face. Usually, he only gets that when explaining science.” he shrugged his shoulders and popped a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth. “You know what I mean. Why?”

“Because he keeps being really weird. It's starting to look like it would be best for us to look for a house or at least something we could _buy_ and not rent. He doesn't seem to want that though. He keeps being weird about it.”

“Listen, I love you guys, please don't get me wrong,” Bett started.

Iris sighed, waiting for another communication lecture.

“but,” Bett continued. “I have never met a couple so unwilling to communicate.”

“Hey! We’re getting better at it!” Iris crossed her arms.

Bett pulled out her phone and dialled Barry’s phone number, putting him on speaker.

“Barry Allen,” Barry was at work, he put his phone on speaker and pushed away from his desk for a moment.

“Barry Honey, it's Bett.”

On the other end of the phone, Barry heaved a sigh and moved back over to his desk, perching his hands on the end of it so his face was a few feet above the phone. “What did I do now?” her tone, the term of endearment, _he was in trouble again_.

“I thought we got this past this not communicating with Iris stuff,” she said seriously, her tone incredibly disapproving.

“Yeah … look, I'm working on that I'm not avoiding it. It's just one of those things that could either go really well or really bad.”

“Okay, thanks Bar. Love you.”

“love you too,” he replied, mimicking her condescending tone.

“I think its hilarious how you can put Barry in his place like that.” Back at Bett’s Iris rolled her eyes, but managed to laugh a little.

“Barry is the most non-threatening person I've ever encountered. A leaf could put him in his place.”

“Okay, that's half true.” Iris sighed and settled into the sofa as Eddie returned to them with popcorn.

“By the way, you are two lovely ladies in my age group,” started Eddie, almost awkwardly but he composed himself. “Got any friends you can set me up with? I got stood up last week.”

“You got stood up?” Iris put a hand to her chest. “But you're actually a nice guy, and not like those fake nice guys, but a real nice guy.” She paused. “Wait," she lifted a finger “did you give her Edgar Thawne or Detective Pretty-boy?”

“Your full name is _Edgar_?” Bett covered her mouth and snickered into her hand. “That's so cute.”

“It's a family name.” He rolled his eyes. “Iris, what do you mean?”

“You just have this cocky attitude at work. Barry and I used to make fun of you all the time,” she briefly recalled a particular afternoon where she mimicked his cocky tone and

“Are you saying Edgar has another personality I don't know about?” Bett smirked, _yes, more fuel_.

“Don’t call me that.”

“So there’s the Eddie we know and love,”

“Thanks, Iris,” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Then,” she went on, ignoring him. “there’s Detective Pretty Boy,” She pulled a voice. “ _Thirty-two arrests I'm on a roll! Give me some skin._ ” She held up her hand to Bett for a high five.

Bett slapped her hand against Iris’s for effect.

“You're wrong.” Eddie crossed his arms. “I have _fifty-seven_ arrests.”

“You turn into a 90’s teenager when you get arrests. You know I adore you, but it really is your biggest swipe left.”

“I don't have any friends who would be into you,” Bett admitted. “I only really know one girl in Central City besides Iris and you're not her type. She's not into the handsome, tall, good guy type, not even your fanfiction blue eyes could win her over.”

“That was a specific analysis,” Iris accused.

“What's fanfiction?” Eddie’s eyebrows pulled together.

“It's like, a bunch of fans get together and rewrite popular media. Usually, it's just making everyone gay, complete with sex scenes written by virgins who have no idea what penises look like. However, how anyone in this day ‘n age doesn't know what a penis looks like astounds me.”  
  
"Well, Bett, some people don't start watching porn as early in life as you did."  
  
"I will say it again. That was an art reference! Maybe you should knock before coming into my workroom! Besides, you're one to talk, Eddie. I've seen your search history, ever heard of an incognito tab?"  
  
"I'm still not convinced you actually needed my laptop, your computer monitor is huge, you can multitask on there. You just wanted to see what I was into."

“Do you guys need me to leave?” Iris asked, casting them an extremely judgemental look. She was half joking, but she also didn't want to stick around if Bett was about to broadcast Eddie’s sexual fantasies.

“No.” they both shot back in unison.

* * *

Barry got home from work around eight, he had stayed late at the lab, which of course meant that Iris would probably be home when he got there.

He was right, he came inside to find her seated on the sofa.

“Hey, honey.” he rubbed his face and headed to sit on the sofa, pulling Bohr into his lap. He scratched behind his ears.

The cat purred softly and nuzzled it's face into his chest affectionately.

“Hey,” Iris was on the other end of the sofa, working on an article that was due in the next few days.

“I know I said we would talk about apartment hunting but I’m dead, can we talk in the morning?” he leaned his head back slightly.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Okay,” she kissed his cheek. “there's leftover pizza in the fridge, I'm probably going to be up a little later.”

Barry nodded and stood, pulling some stuff out of his bag.

“Iris, _these_ ,” She glanced up and saw that he was holding up a ziplock bag of dark coloured bars. “make sure you don't eat them.”

“Okay? You're being so serious.” she laughed and looked back to her article.

“Well, they could make you incredibly sick. They're specially designed to keep _me_ healthy, if you ate _one_ of these there would be enough vitamin A in your system to cause liver damage.”

“Oh wow, okay-- I will not touch those, ever.” she nodded.

Barry pulled one out of the bag and took a bite out of it. It crunched loudly and he winced slightly at the bitter taste. When he finished he put them away and moved back to the sofa to give Iris a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Goodnight, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Okay, goodnight.” she smiled just a little.

Barry headed into the bedroom and ditched his work clothes without the aid of the Speed Force and quickly pulled on a clean pair of sweat shorts. He sighed when he realised he had to do laundry that week, it meant he had to go to Joe’s. Which was more hassle than he wanted, even if he had super speed now.

Eventually, he got into bed and it didn't take him very long to fall asleep. He really did have a long day that thoroughly wiped him out.

**Midnight**

Iris was still working on her article, cramming to get it done before one AM. When she heard a shout in the form of her name from the bedroom. She sighed and saved the file on her computer before shutting her laptop and heading into the bedroom where she found Barry, sitting up on the bed, his breathing visually laboured, a sheen of sweat clung to his face in the dim light from the desk.

“Barry?”

“S-sorry. I’m fine,” He shook his head and glanced up at her, his chest visibly rising and falling.

Iris glided across the room silently until she landed herself on the bed. She moved over so she was closer to him and took his hand.

“I'm right here with you, Barr.”

"Were you sleeping on the couch?” he raised his eyebrows when he saw the clock on the nightstand. He wondered if she was mad at him for not talking.

“No-gosh no! Why would I sleep on the couch when I have a great boyfriend who's just as comfy? I was still working on my article. I was just going to come to bed when you had a nightmare,” she gave him a small smile. “We haven't gotten a lot of time together this week, how about we just talk until we fall asleep?” she suggested. “Anything you want to talk about?”

“Okay,” he laid down again, watching her in the dim lighting while she changed and wrapped her hair. “You're beautiful.”

“You can't even see me,” she accused, pulling on some sweats and rejoining him on the bed.

“I don't have to be looking at you to know that,” he opened his arms and she moved into them, resting her head on his chest.

“You screamed my name,” Iris’s tone was quiet, and casual, hoping he would finally open up to her.

“It was just a dream,” he spoke simply, unsure if he was dismissing it or if he was trying to convince himself.

“Yeah, it was, but you still had the dream, Barr.” she looked up at him in the dim light of the room but he didn't respond. She kissed his cheek and sighed. “Okay, well, you can talk to me. Always can.”

* * *

The next morning Barry woke up before Iris, as usual, she was still sound asleep beside him. He closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. With the aid of the speedforce, as not. to wake her, he pulled her into his arms. He managed a few more minutes of peace before his phone started to buzz.

“Ugh I thought you were off today,” Iris complained, pressing her face against his chest, nuzzling slightly against him. She missed him that week and was hoping they would spend the morning together “Five more minutes.”

“This is the metahuman alert app Cisco made.” Barry sighed and kissed the top of her head again. He wanted to spend the day with her too.

“The City calls,” she laughed, that's what she gets for falling for a superhero. “Go. Bring doughnuts when you come back.”

 

When Barry returned fifteen minutes later, he had jitters coffee and some doughnuts. He set them on the table and fed the cats.

“Are we going to talk now?” Iris asked, heading into the kitchen. She grabbed a chocolate long-john from the doughnut box and seated herself at the table.

“Right, the apartment thing-- look I just feel like things are moving really fast. Buying a house is a huge investment. I don't think I'm ready.”

“And? Do you plan on us breaking us in the very near future? Because we've gone through a shit ton of work for a relationship that hasn't even officially lasted a year.” she was getting annoyed, and it was in her right. Barry wasn't speaking his mind.

“No! But _buying_ a house is so permanent.” He had years to decide Iris was his only, he wasn't ready to pick out the house he was probably going to die in, and in what, a matter of weeks? Days? He only had a month and a half until his lease was up.

“and what are we?” Iris demanded. “A fling? Half a year ago or whatever you wanted to build a _life_ with me. Now you don't want something permanent?”

“We’re talking about two different--”

“You know, nevermind. We _don't_ need to talk about this.” she headed into the bedroom and started to pack a bag.

“What are you doing?” he sighed, following her into the be room.

“I'm going to my dad's until you can sort out what it is you want, Barry, because I am tired of this back and forth and I won't take it anymore. Don't call me until you've got all your crap together.”

“Iris I'm talking about a house, not our relat--”

Barry tried to stop her but she was already out the door. He cursed under his breath. He just wanted things to go right for five seconds. Was that too much to ask? Five seconds where his three lives could be balanced.

There was a knock at the back door, pulling him out of his thoughts. He groaned and answered it.

“What? What do you want?” he glanced down and saw Pat standing at the door. “Pat-- I'm sorry.”

“Why are you mad at me?” he asked, giving Barry a confused look.

“I'm not mad at you, buddy. I'm sorry I yelled at you.” he ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

“Is Iris here?”

“No, she just left.”

“When is she coming back?”

“I don't know. She's _really_ mad at me.”

“Did you tell her you love her?”

“I don't think that will fix this. I have to go to work. Is this something I can help you with?” he glanced at his watch, feigning being in a hurry.

“No,” said Pat before turning around and heading back to his apartment.

**Eleven AM**

Barry headed to the lab and sat down next to Caitlin. “Hey.”

Caitlin was seated at her desk, pouring over some files, jumped slightly when he appeared next to her then laughed.

“Barry Allen!” she touched his shoulder affectionately. “Don't do that! You gave me a heart attack,” she paused, something was clearly bothering him. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Didn't you say a week ago that you needed more of my blood?” he reminded her, quickly trying to change the subject and wanting to distract himself.

“Yes! Thanks for dropping in.” she stood from her desk and went to grab a blood kit from the medbay.

Barry rolled up his sleeve while he waited for her to return. He needed to be out of his apartment, and he did enjoy hanging out with Caitlin. He felt bad that she spent most of her time alone in the lab. He thought back to the time they spent together before when she made him sing Karaoke and asked him to stay with her until she fell asleep. Most people thought he didn't think about Ronnie that much because, well, he didn't know him and he didn't. But he knew Caitlin, and he knew what his death had done.

When she returned, she carefully wrapped the rubber tourniquet around his arm. Once she found his vein she inserted the needle. “I'm kinda antsy. I'm having lunch with Ronnie’s parents soon.”

“I'm sure it will go great, Cait.”

“So, you usually come here for ‘no reason’ when there’s a problem,” Caitlin observed, cleaning his arm.

“Iris is just being Iris,” he rolled his eyes and watched as his blood filled the first vial.

“That gives me no information at all.” She popped off the first vial.

“I was trying to explain to Iris that I can't just jump into buying a house with her because a house is a permanent investment. We haven't even discussed if we want to get married, or if we want kids-- how many if that.”

“Then what happened?” she started on a second vial.

“She assumed that I meant I wasn't sure about our relationship when I tried to explain to her that I was talking about the house she cut me off, packed a bag and ran to Joe’s.”

“Well, you do have a terrible habit of getting cold feet with Iris and you're bad at communicating--”

“Yes but she should have let me talk instead of just storming out!” he emitted a frustrated sigh.

“I'm not going to pick sides. It's not a good idea to drag other people into your relationship problems.” she took one last vial of blood before removing the needle from his arm.

“I'm not trying to make you pick sides. I just thought you might know how I can try to fix this,” he sighed and pulled down his sleeve again when she put a band-aid on his arm. “Thanks.”

“Talk to her. Now, do I have to kiss it too or are you going to act like an adult now and go solve your relationship problems?”

Barry arrived at the West house as soon as he could. in his hand was a grocery bag containing brownies and mint chocolate chip ice cream. He headed inside and Joe crossed his arms.

“Listen to me, Barr. Whatever is going on, fix it right now.” He said seriously.

“Look, Joe, it was just a misunderstanding. I was an idiot. I'm going to fix it.”

Barry grabbed a spoon from the kitchen before he made his way upstairs. When he reached her room he took a deep breath and knocked on her door.

“I already said I'm fine, dad. You don't have to be so worried.” she called but there was an edge to her voice which Illustrated that she was not ‘fine’.

“Iris, it's me. I didn't know if you would want brownies or ice cream so I brought both … we really need to talk because we were talking about two different things today.” He called through the door. “Please. Just give me five minutes.”

Iris rose from the bed and opened the door.

“Five minutes.”

He came into the room and sat down on her bed.

“Iris, I love you. As far as I'm concerned there is never going to be anyone else. I already dealt with all my fears about us being together.”

“Okay.” she nodded once.

“I’m not ready to choose the house we’re going to live in for the next _several_ years. That's all I meant Iris. I never meant to imply that I wasn't serious about you.”

“You should have just told me that the first time we tried to talk about this _weeks_ ago, Barry.” she crossed her arms. “This is the same thing every time, Barry. I open myself up to you and you refuse to communicate with me.”

“I'm working on it.”

“Barry, ignoring your emotions and not saying what you mean is not working on it--”

“I'm trying. Iris … please.”

“I think-- maybe you have some stuff you need to work on. Maybe you should see someone.” Iris suggested.

“What? Another shrink to tell me I'm crazy?” Barry demanded, standing from the bed. He was getting agitated now.

“No--Barr. That's not I meant-- Look at me. You know what I mean.” she reached out for him, wanting to explain but this time, he was the one who didn't let her explain.

He left.

“How did it go?” asked Joe.

“I think maybe I won't be around so much anymore.”

* * *

**Three PM**

Barry headed into the Cortex and Caitlin looked up at him. she greeted him with a smile.

“Hey! You look like you're in a better mood. You worked out your problems then?” she put away the file she was looking over.

“I'm in a better mood because you're here,” he gave her a quick once over with his eyes that she didn't notice.

“Oh, you don't have to flatter me I'm not mad. It's just not my place to get involved, you know? It's a girl thing.” she explained, knowing that it could have put her in hot water with Iris if she had picked a side.

“No, I understand. My behaviour was inappropriate.” He crossed the cortex to stand closer to her.

“Do you mind if I take some more blood and check some things while we chat?” she asked, itching to run more tests.

“Not at all,” he smiled and sat down beside her, a little too close.

Caitlin seemed unaffected by his close choice if seating, they had an intimate friendship. She leaned over to tie the rubber tourniquet around his upper arm. Securing it easily.

“Wow, your eyes are beautiful … Dr. Snow.”

She made a slightly amused face at him.

“Barry Allen, flattery will not distract me,” she rolled her eyes at him. “We have to do your vitals too, I know you hate that part. I know the monitor is itchy but you'll have to deal.”

“That’s not what I meant, Dr. Snow.” his lips curved into a smirk.

“You're being weird … did Cisco give you something?” she stared at him accusingly, unsure of what was going on.

“I don't know why we’re playing this game, Snow. We should just stop running around in circles and just do what we want to do.” Barry reached forward and took her face in his hands.

Caitlin froze for a moment.

Their lips met as Barry pulled her into a serious kiss.

She was still under his lips, almost responding on instinct. His warm body against hers was bringing back feelings she had long since locked away. However, this was all too weird. This was Barry and Iris’s Barry at that … she jerked away and began slapping his arm.

“What,” _smack_. “is wrong” _smack._  “with you?” **_smack_ **. She smacked him so hard on the arm a final time that he recoiled slightly.

“Ow!” he protested.

“Iris.” Caitlin had her eyes on the cortex, more importantly on Barry’s girlfriend-- or probably ex-girlfriend now.

Iris turned on her heels and rushed out of the cortex. She had shown up to try to make up with Barry but she saw no point now.

“You're not even going to go after her?” Caitlin demanded. “I thought I knew you, Barry.”

“Why should I?” he asked, crossing his arms and leaning back in the chair.

* * *

**Three-fifteen PM**

Barry sat down at his desk in the crime lab and quickly began to file some evidence from a case earlier in the week. He had nothing to process but he had a few reports backed up that needed to be finished.

He heard footsteps approaching in the lab and glanced up to see Eddie stomping towards him.

“Eddie?”

With a very audible smack, Eddie’s fist collided with Barry’s face. _Hard_.

“What the hell, Eddie?” Barry demanded, standing quickly.

“I honestly thought you were a better man, Barry.”

"Ow!” Barry protested. “What are you talking about?”

“Go ahead. Play dumb, but you and I no longer have a relationship,” he said firmly before leaving.

“Barry,” said Joe, appearing in the doorway.

“Did you see this, Joe? Eddie just attacked me!” -- Joe grabbed his shirt.

“What is going on with you? I thought your father and I raised you right. I thought we taught you how to treat women.”

Barry raised his eyebrows in disbelief. _What the hell is going on?_ “Y-you did. You both did … Is this all because Iris and I are fighting?” he felt a rage building. He struggled to figure out why Eddie would get violent with him over this.

“This is about you taking advantage of a grieving widow to deal with your problems with Iris.”

“What grieving widow? You're all insane!”

“Iris saw you, fifteen minutes ago, with Caitlin.”

A cold feeling washed over Barry. “Joe,” he said seriously. “You need to let me go, Caitlin is in danger.” He spoke seriously, trying to pull out of Joe’s hold.

“This isn't a game, Barry.”

“Joe." He started “I haven't been to S.T.A.R. Labs since this morning, which means whoever that guy was that Iris saw with Caitlin is _not_ me and she's in danger.”

Joe hesitated but let go of Barry’s shirt, allowing him to take off. He didn't think Barry would lie to his face about this and he also couldn't gamble with Caitlin’s safety.

Barry rushed to the lab, a few seconds too late. What he found upon his arrival was a man with his face, standing over Caitlin with a gun drawn, aimed at her. He knocked the imposter out with a hard hit to the back of his head and threw him in the pipeline.

When he returned to Caitlin it became obvious he was too late and she was injured. Her light green sweater was stained a deep red across her shoulder and he could see two holes in the fabric. He lifted her up and rushed her to the emergency room.

After leaving Caitlin in the emergency room he rushed back to the crime lab where Joe was waiting. He took time to explain the station to Joe. Once he was sure Joe would take care of getting the information out to Team Flash he rushed to the hospital.

Caitlin was estranged from her mother, so Cisco and Caitlin were her emergency contact. They had the rights her parents normally would. He went in and asked for her, and after showing his ID they pointed her in the direction of her room after informing him that they had called Cisco.

Barry made his way to her room. She visibly tensed when he entered the room, a fear showing in her eyes that made guilt hollow out his torso as he looked at her. “Cait,” he started softly. “Caitlin it's really me. I promise.”

“Tell me something only Barry would know,” her hands trembled slightly.

“Last year we went out and you got really drunk and made me sing Karaoke with you.”

“I'm glad it's you,” she winced at the pain in her shoulder.

Barry crossed the room and took a seat by her bedside.

“How bad is it?”

She was silent for a moment before she spoke. “He shot me twice in the shoulder. The doctors say they're hopeful but I saw my charts, I probably won't be able to perform surgery ever again.”

“Caitlin, I’m so sorry.”

“It's not your fault, Barry.”

“I feel like it-- he used my face to get close to you. How can you even look at me?”

“Because it's not your fault. Barry?”

“Yeah?”

“They have me on a _lot_ of morphine-- can you hold my hand until I fall asleep?” she looked up at him with the same look she gave him the last time she asked a similar favour.

Barry nodded seriously. “Of course, yeah,” he slid his hand around hers before trapping it between both of his.

Iris arrived about twenty minutes later after a very frantic phone call from Cisco who was stuck in traffic. She headed into Caitlin’s room. “What happened?” she asked, moving to Barry’s side,

Barry was seated in the chair beside Caitlin’s bed, his hands still clasped around hers. “A metahuman somehow figured out who I was, and took my form and went after Caitlin.”

Barry stared down at his hands, Iris sat down in the chair beside him. She didn't say anything to him, she just rubbed soothing circles into his back.

“Why are you comforting me?” he asked suddenly.

“Because you're my boyfriend and our friend was just attacked by a psychopath. Do you really need to ask that?” Iris sounded a bit miffed.

“I walked out on you.”

“After I walked out on you. Barry we both fucked up today but it doesn't matter-- what matters is Caitlin,” they were speaking softly as not to disturb her.

What felt like hours later, a doctor entered and woke Caitlin to wheel her into surgery to remove the rest of the bullet fragments. Barry reluctantly let her hand fall from his.

“Are we going to talk?” Iris asked, taking his hand in hers.

“I don't know if I can.”

“Why not?”

“Iris, there are things you just can't understand, and you need to accept that.”

“Barry. We are partners.”

“Can you honestly tell me that you could ever hope to understand how I feel right now? Someone used me, became me, to hurt someone who trusted me.”

“I can't understand that, but I can be there for you. Because that's how a unit works. Caitlin is going to be okay. You don't have to carry this weight all on your own.”

“Her shoulder is ruined, she can't be a doctor anymore.”

“That's too bad.”

“and it's my fault.”

“Barry Allen,” she sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

They went out to the waiting room where their family was waiting.

Eddie approached first. “I'm so sorry, Barry. It's not like me to hit anyone.”

“I don't blame you--” He was cut off by a pair of arms wrapping tightly around him. He looked down to see Bett.

“I'm sorry, I thought he was you! Is Caitlin going to be okay? Are you okay?”

“What do you mean?” Barry asked.

“I saw you out by Jitters-- you were confused and you asked me for help, so I took you to S.T.A.R. Labs, I said Dr. Snow would know what to do. You said you would be fine so I left--”

“He tricked all of us, Bett. It's okay,” he assured her.

Iris gave up on convincing Barry to sit down after the first fifteen minutes. He just kept pacing. He couldn't sit still, he couldn't think. Cisco arrived soon after that.

What felt like hours passed again before a doctor came out. “Ramon?” he called.

Cisco stood and Bett gave his arm a reassuring squeeze before he left to speak to the doctor alone.

The rest of Team Flash waited in complete silence until Cisco returned. The look on his face didn't give them any hope. He closed his eyes, blinking away tears. “Cait went into cardiac arrest during the surgery and they tried what they could but they weren't able to resuscitate her. They think it was a clot. Cait’s gone.”

Bett stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, unsure of what else to do.

Eddie reached out to put a hand on Barry’s shoulder but just before he made contact Barry was gone.

 

Barry just started running. He felt himself gaining speed and in response, he pushed harder. The city warped past him too fast for even him to see where he was going and then suddenly he felt a change in the air pressure around him and when he blinked the sun was up.

He paused, confused as to how he could have run all night. He thought he may have run into a different time zone but he was in Central City still. Once he gathered himself he rushed back to his apartment and was shocked to find Iris standing in the kitchen.

“Iris, you're here. I'm sorry, you were right about everything. God, I'm so glad you're here,” he threw his arms around her.

“Where else would I be, babe?” she stared at him when he pulled away.

“I'm sorry about what I said and I'm ready to talk now, you were right. We can't have a relationship if I can't be honest with you. I don't want us to fight anymore so please can we talk?”

“Barry … since when are we fighting?” she asked, reaching out and cupping his cheek. “Slow down and tell me what's wrong.”

“I'm sorry, I'm still shaken up between Eddie punching me in the face and Caitlin I can't lose anything else--”

“What?” Iris demanded. “Why did Eddie hit you? What happened with Caitlin?” her eyes searched his for a  moment as he seemed distressed.

“You were with me last night. Am I dead? Having some kind of fever dream?” he rubbed his face and tried to compose himself.

“Is that what the nightmare was about, Barry?”

“Nightmare?”

“The one you had last night. Barr what's wrong?” she was starting to worry. He was making less and less sense as the conversation went on.

“Iris we had a huge fight yesterday and you left me--”

“Barry I didn't leave you. What the hell kind of meta did you fight today?” she pulled him to the sofa and made him sit down. She rested her hands on his chest. "I need you to breathe, okay? Everything's alright."

“How do you not remember yesterday, Iris? You told me I needed help-- and then a meta went after Caitlin but he used my face.”

“I can imagine that was scary, thinking all that was real.”

“It was real, Iris! I know you're mad at me but don’t act like none of this happened.”

“Barry. You just went to take care of a metahuman and get doughnuts.” Iris was about ten seconds away from calling Caitlin to come look Barry over. She didn't like this at all.

“No, I got us doughnuts yesterday.”

“Barry … are you trying to avoid talking about--”

“Can I see your phone?” Barry asked and Iris hesitated for a moment but ended up handing it over. Barry squinted at the calendar … it showed yesterday's date. He hasn't run through the night, he ran through _time_. “You know what? We need to talk about the house situation. I'm going to go get us doughnuts and then we can talk.”

He disappeared, leaving Iris with more questions than answers. However, he was back before she could dwell on it for too long. He appeared with the box and set it on the kitchen table. Iris once again grabbed a chocolate long john.

“Okay, Iris, I want you to listen to me, and please try to understand what I mean.”

“Of course, Barr.” she reached around the box to take his hand.

“If you want a house, then let’s do it. I just don't feel comfortable investing money and time into a home when we have things we need to talk about still.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, hoping she would understand this time.

“I didn’t expect us to just start looking for houses, I wanted us to talk about it.” she crossed her arms.

Barry wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. He closed his eyes tightly and ran a hand over his face.

“What's wrong?”

“Why did I have to overcomplicate everything last time? I should have just asked you to talk about it!” he heaved a sigh.

“Barry … why do you keep talking like we’ve done this before?” Iris was looking uneasy and Barry didn't know exactly what to say.

“Iris … I think I accidentally went back in time.”

“How is that possible?”

“I have no idea but in another version of today we had a really stupid fight and we both walked out on each other. I do not want to repeat that,” he explained, touching her hand gently.

“Let's talk about it, honey, okay?” she suggested, hoping he would accept the offer.

“Absolutely I want to talk about it,” he gave her a firm nod and began to carefully explain their fight. He stayed objective, being sure to point out where he was wrong.

“Oh man, we were a mess, weren't we?” she sighed. This was a lot to process but she wasn’t didn’t want to repeat things, so she took it slow.

“You believe me?” he asked.

“Of course I do. I mean, it's completely crazy but, our lives are far from normal--” there as a knock at the back door.

“That's Pat looking for you. In the other version of today, I yelled at him.” Barry sighed and rubbed his face.

Iris stood and I opened the door to see Pat. “Hey, Pat! What brings you around so early?” Iris moved to the side a bit so he could come in.

“Can I talk to you about a girl problem?” he asked, a bit shyly.

Iris repressed a laugh. “Of course, you can always talk to me. I'll just kick Barry out,” her tone was teasing.

Barry stood and kissed her cheek before checking the time, it was still early. He had time before trouble started. “I have to go talk to Caitlin and take care of an issue” He left and headed to S.T.A.R. Labs. This time he would make sure he protected Caitlin. "but we can finish talking about this later."

 

A strong sense of relief washed over him when he saw her. He crossed the room and pulled her tightly into his arms, hugging her close to him.

Caitlin seemed surprised. “Um, hello, Barry,” she mumbled against his shoulder.

“I'm so glad you're okay,” his arms tightened around her.

“Was I … in danger?” she raised her eyebrows at him when he released her from his death grip.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets quickly realising how irrational he was being. “I'm sorry … something really weird happened,” he looked back up at her with an apologetic smile on his face.

“Well … I … Can I draw your blood now?” she placed a hand on his arm.

“Yeah, yes. Sure,” he went to sit down at her desk. She wrapped the rubber tourniquet around his arm and wiped down the crease of his elbow with a wipe. “If I told you that I went back in time, would you think I was crazy?”

“I would accuse you of pulling my leg, Mr. Allen,” she gave him an amused look before putting the needle into his arm.

“Caitlin, I'm being serious. You were going to tell me that you're going to have lunch with Ronnie’s parents this week.”

Caitlin paused and glanced up at him. “I haven't told anyone that yet.”

“You told me, in another version of today. Don't say anything to Wells, please. I don't know how much I trust him, even after everything.”

“I won't tell him … but I think you should be careful with that, Barry. There are probably consequences to meddling with time.”

“I don't regret it,” he spoke almost defensively.

Caitlin finished up drawing his blood but looked up at him again.

“Why are you acting so weird, Barry?” she raised her eyebrows at him. She was pulled away from her train of thought by her phone ringing. “Its Cisco, hold on.” She stood and turned her head slightly so she wasn't talking at Barry. “Woah, woah, Cisco slow down, I can't understamd--okay … I'll see you soon.” She hung up and turned to face Barry again. “Cisco had a strange nightmare about--”

“An evil meta attacking you.”

“Yeah …” she trailed off. “anyways, you're all set, thanks, Barry.”

Barry stood and then stopped, starting to pace. “I appreciate everything you do here, Cait,” he told her with a smile. “I know I piss you off and make you worry, but I do respect you.”

“Thanks, Barry,” she smiled a little, but sadly.

“Until I solve this, don't trust anything, question everything, even all of us,” he spoke seriously. “okay?” he was able to go back for a reason, he wasn’t about to waste it by letting her die again.

“Okay.” she nodded once. “you will explain, right?”

It wasn’t long before Cisco arrived. His hair wasn't as neat as it usually was and he was wearing a wrinkled t-shirt and jeans. He had gotten out of bed and rushed over. "Listen, that dream was weird. It was so real."

“Guys, what happened to me today?” she asked, though she knew it had to be bad.

“It was a metahuman,” Barry started. “He used my face to get close to you and I'm so sorry.” His mouth went dry as he said the words. “but I swear I won't let it happen this time. I promise I won't.”

“Wait, are you saying this happened?” Cisco looked at Barry. “How is she standing here if my dream actually happened already?”

Caitlin sat down, trying to process the information he was given to her. When she felt Barry’s hand on her shoulder she placed her own over it.

Cisco grasped her free hand. “Barry should go looking for him.”

“He comes here, I think we should wait and set a trap,” Barry explained.

“I didn't know that much," Cisco sounded surpirsed.

“I know everything.”

 

Cisco went into his lab to check on some things, leaving Caitlin alone with Barry.

“What exactly happened?” Caitlin asked after a few minutes of silence.

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Please. For me?” she pressed.

A bit more time passed before he spoke. “You know, Oliver warned me that being close to people would get them hurt, but I had no idea that it would be like this,” he began, bit he wanted to block out the memory of that alterate timelime. “He somehow became me, he tricked Bett into dropping him off here … that's how he knew who you were. She said you would help him-- everyone thought he was actually me.”

"Barry, whatever happened to me, isn't your fault,” Caitlin said seriously.

“He kissed you,” Barry admitted. “According to Iris you beat him up a little,” he laughed weakly.

“There's more, isn't there?”

“He shot you,” he looked down at his hands. “I stayed with you in the hospital while you waited for surgery-- but you said it probably wasn't going to help and you wouldn't be able to go back to being a doctor,” he wasn't looking at her now and he closed his eyes. “Then it just got worse.”

“I didn't make it, did I?”

“No,” he managed, his voice breaking slightly. “I'm sorry I couldn't save you.”

“Barry, you can't save all of us from everything that's incredibly unrealistic, and it's not something you can put on yourself all the time.”

“I should be able to protect my friends.”


	17. End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter comes to a close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: Discussions of sex, Implied sex, ‘family-planning’ type discussions.
> 
> Notes: I'm so sorry that this is so late. This is the last official chapter, there is a sequel that I'm excited about too. Man, I had a blast writing this and i've learned so much along the way! Thank you to everyone who followed me on this journey! Now, to start rewrites! Then I'll finish up the sequel 'Out of the Dark']]

 

Barry sat down in the medbay. He anxiously rubbed his hands together. He still had a while before the imposter was set to arrive. He didn't know what to do with himself. He was focused on protecting Caitlin.

After waiting around a bit longer Barry’s phone started to ring. He answered it quickly.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Barr. Pat just left,” Iris’s voice came through the phone, and his nerves settled slightly. “How's everything at the lab?”

“Things are alright. The imposter hasn't shown his face yet.”

“That's good. Listen, Barr. I know you're really anxious about this but it's going to be fine. You’ll get him and when you're done you can come home and we can talk, okay?” She smiled a little but was honestly worried about Barry. He’d been through hell in his last twenty four hours.

“Okay … well. It's almost time I think. I love you,” he took a deep breath and rose from his seat, preparing for the days events.

* * *

 

It had been relatively easy to ambush Everyman and they locked him up in the pipeline with little repercussions. When he finally settled everything with that he decided to head home and catch up with Iris.

“Do you have time to talk?” He asked, appearing in the apartment with lunch, her favorite of course.

“Absolutely!” she called from the sofa. “Just let me save this article.”

“If you're working I can wait,” Barry said quickly, not wanting to interrupt her work. “I can go grab dinner while you finish up-- you up for Coast City pizza?”

“I might need a little more time, maybe something from London?” she mused, still typing away.

“Um,” he laughed, she had never asked him to cross the ocean for food before, at least not seriously. He briefly recalled a joke she made about ‘authentic Chinese food’. “I can do that, but I'll have to like, find a bank out there and stuff …”

“Barr, I was joking, sorry I'm absorbed in my article. Coast City pizza sounds great,” she smiled and felt a breeze on her face.

By the time he returned Iris was finished with her article. She joined him at the table. “Thanks for taking care of dinner, homey.”

“Of course! I can't wait to read your article when it goes live,” he replied and opened the first pizza box. “Now for the topic of the evening, what do you want?”

“Can you be more specific?”

“With us … I mean in the next five years. Do you want a dog? Do think you want to get married eventually?” he mumbled the last part a little lower than the rest.

“I hope that wasn't your idea of a proposal, Bartholomew,” one side of her mouth turned up in a sly smile.

“I'll take that as a yes?”

“Yes, Barry,” she laughed softly. “I would marry you if you asked. We haven't exactly had your average relationship,”  she shrugged and took a sip of her water. “So, I don't see why we couldn't get married in the next five years, sooner or later.”

Barry swallowed. He tried not to show a reaction to that, but he couldn't help it. He was grinning like an idiot and Iris noticed right away.

“What?” she demanded, slightly amused.

“That's just … exactly what I want too,” he admitted, getting started on his fifth slice of pizza.

“A dog sounds nice too,” she mused. “Maybe a couple of humans,” she winked.

“Then we'll start looking this week.” he picked up yet another slice of pizza.

“Okay,” Iris stood. “We need house rules too,” she moved around the table and sat herself in Barry’s lap. “You have to eat first because I actually want to sit down and have dinner with you. I'm done after three slices and you're still going strong with seven.” she kissed his cheek.

“This is my last one,” he laughed. “I don't eat that much more than an average person, I just eat more frequently,” he rolled his eyes and started to pack up the rest of the pizza at a normal pace.

Iris help him, as there were still several unopened boxes. “I know we've been living together for a while … but I'm really excited about picking a new place together.”

“For us, and hopefully our future extended family,” he kissed the top of her head and moved to the fridge, starting to shove in plastic bags of square pizza slices. Iris came in behind him and they managed to find room for the rest.

“How much money do you spend on food in a week, anyways?” Iris shut the fridge and went to wash the pizza grease from her hands.

Barry gave a deeply uncomfortable laugh.

Iris spun around and put her hands on her hips. “How much?”

Barry swallowed and avoided her eyes.

Iris decided to repeat herself. “How much?”

Barry mumbled inaudibly.

“Hmm?”

“It's a lot, okay? It's a lot. S.T.A.R. Labs pays for my power bars but I still use a lot of money on food.”

“Then why do you insist on buying me food too?” she sighed and put pressed her temple. “When we buy a house together you're going to suck up your ego,” she rolled his eyes.

“I don't have an ego, Iris,” he rolled his eyes and closed the space between them, wrapping his arms around her middle. “I just like taking care of things for you,” he kissed the top of her head.

“Yeah, uh-huh, Mr rooftop Rendezvous ‘What other girls?’ doesn't have an ego?” she pulled back and cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, I don't have an ego about _money_ ,” he corrected himself.

“I’ll take it,” she stretched up and kissed his cheek.

Barry leaned down and caught her lips with his own, his hand coming up to gently cup her face in his hands.

Iris kissed him back, pulling him closer to her.

* * *

 

They spent the next day discussing details. “So, there's a two bedroom one and a half bath in Danville in our budget,” Barry took a sip of his coffee.

“How about three bedrooms?” Iris suggested, coming to stand behind him.

“Three?”

Iris kissed his cheek. “Just in case,” she shrugged her shoulders and pulled her hair back into a loose bun. “I'm heading into work, but I'll see you tonight.”

Barry nodded and crossed off the two bedroom he found, moving onto the find ones with three bedrooms. He marked a few off before setting it aside to show Iris later.

A few minutes passed before Bohr woke up. The creature yawned and extended its front legs  efore bounding off the sofa and an aged to easily find his way into Barry’s lap on the other side of the room.

“Do you wanna play?” Barry asked affectionately and grabbed the cat toy from where it was laying on the floor. With the aid of the speed force he didn't disturb the cat. He flocked the feather across the floor and Bohr leaped off his lap after it.  


**[One Month Later]**

 

When Barry returned to the now completely packed up (except for the cats) apartment on a sunday afternoon, a strip of fabric was splitting the doorway in half.

“Iris?” Barry called inside. “I can't get into the apartment.”

“Crawl!” she laughed and Barry sighed, getting on his hands and knees. He crawled forwards and came to a fork in the sea of fabric. one went left and the other went right.

“Are you left or right?”

It was clear to him that Iris spent quite a bit of time on this. His phone went off, he pulled it out of his pocket.

 **Iris:** _You have to find me._

 **Iris:** _No superspeed!_

Barry rolled his eyes but found himself smiling. He headed left and kept crawling until he started to smell ... cookies?

He took a sharp left, his only option and found himself by the television. The blankets in this area nearly clung to the ceiling so Barry was able to stand.

Iris stood in the middle. There was a few blankets on the floor but apart from that there was just a big sheet hanging from the ceiling, creating a tent like structure.

“What’s all this?” he asked curiously, a smile creeping across his face.

“I had had some of our friends help me out. I think we were right about living in a box.” she started, “I think before we start our lives together officially in the new house, we let our friends in.”

“You're right.” he nodded.

“Alright, Is the ceiling high enough?” Cisco asked, coming into view from the other side. He held a tablet in his hands and didn't glance up from it.

“Cisco is already here.” Barry observed, unsure of why he said that outloud.

“Yeah, what is this even for?”

Barry looked at Iris. “I didn’t get the chance to tell him. I said ‘adult sized blanket-fort’ and he hung up, I thought he wasn't coming then he was over here in fifteen minutes.”

“Thanks Cisco,” said Barry with a smile.

“No problem!” Cisco glanced at his tablet and seemed to be adjusting things.

“Hello?” came a familiar, friendly voice. Eddie. “We brought wine!”

“Sorry we’re late. Detective Pretty Boy is so indecisive.” said Bett and she soon appeared in the living room. Barry greeted them both with a hug.

“I've never been to a blanket fort party! How do you expect me to know what to bring?” Eddie asked with a light hearted chuckle.

“You two showed up together?” Cisco observed, his tone accusing.

“We live in the same building and gas is fucking expensive.” Bett emerged from the tunnel first. “You better not have been looking at my ass, Detective.”

“Not willingly,” Eddie emerged behind her.

“Liar,” She shot back.

Eddie didn't say anything further.

“Is Caitlin coming?” Barry asked as Bohr settled into his lap. He was now seated on the floor to greet the cats.

“Hello?” came Caitlin’s voice from the door.

Barry went back through the tunnel until he reached the door.

“Hey Caitlin!” he laughed. “Sorry I guess you have to crawl in. This wasn't my idea.”

“Oh… I mean… when in Rome?” Caitlin pulled off her heels one at a time and got on her hands and knees.

“Just take a right then a left.”

“I made it.” Caitlin appeared after a solid minute.

“Let's play spin the bottle.” suggested Cisco.

“I am not playing.” said Caitlin.

“No thanks.” Iris spoke up.

“Sorry Bud, no thanks,” Barry laughed.

“You're all lame,” said Cisco before he crossed over to the television and put on a DVD.

“Thank you guys for all coming out.” said Barry after a bit.

“Iris said you could use your friends right now.”

“Great! Everyone is here! I can now explain why I dragged you, our adult friends, to this blanket fort!” Iris clapped her hands together once in an excited gesture. “When Barry and I were in the first grade, I went over to his house one day. His parents helped us build a big blanket fort and then his mom made us a big batch of cookies.” Iris started, taking Barry’s hand. “We were each other's first friends and we've been stuck together ever since.”

“Yeah,” Barry nodded. “I didn’t really branch out at all. Neither did her. Bett was my first friend besides Iris, and now you're all stuck with me.” he laughed a little. “I first got my powers. When I ran, I used to have these flashbacks of my mom-- and it was hard but Cisco and Caitlin were there for me.” Barry’s eyes started watering.   
Caitlin hugged Barry tightly before pulling back. “You have been the best edition to our team, Barry.”

“Oh, Barr,” Iris laughed softly and kissed his cheek.

“It's just really great to have you guys here. I think Iris and I had a lot of walls up for a long time.”

* * *

 

“So,” Iris began, peeling herself away from Barry’s chest. “which afterglow is better?” she smiled down at him.

Barry reached up and cupped her cheek, chuckling softly. “I need a minute to get over the fact that we just had sex on the floor of our new house. _Twice_.” he sat up and kissed her cheek

Iris ran a hand through her hair and rose to her feet, grabbing Barry’s shirt and throwing it on before tossing him his boxers. “Come on, we still have a few boxes to unpack.”

Barry pulled on his boxers but quickly wrapped his arms around Iris’s middle and kissing her cheek. “We can do that later. Let's go hang out in the master bedroom.”

Iris turned around in his arms, stretching up on her toes to press her lips against his. “Wow, you might actually be able to keep up with me,” she chuckled softly and pulled back. “but we really need to unpack. We’re having a housewarming party to soon, remember?”

“Ughh,” he sighed and pressed his face against her neck. “Do we have to?”

“We have all night to christen the the house, babe,” she pulled him down into another kiss before slipping out of his arms.

Barry felt a bit colder with the loss of contact but didn't say anything, he moved across the room into the living room area and started to unpack some of his books to put on the shelf.

“I put your old Jay Garrick dolls in the basement. I was thinking you could renovate it into a little nerd carve. I have one of the bedrooms for an office so I'm all set.”

“They're action figures, Iris … but that sounds perfect.”

“Dolls is less words, I'm not mocking them,” she kissed his cheek and pulled out a photo of them with Joe, setting it on the mantle. “I wish we had some more pictures with our friends,” she added another framed photo if them with the twins on their last birthday.

“We’ll have to take more,” he returned to the box and placed some of Iris’s books on the shelf.

“Don't put my books there!” Iris complained.

“What's wrong with it?” Iris reached up with her arm and her fingers just barely touched the shelf they sat on.

“Oh, right.” he switched them with a stack of his own books faster than Iris could blink, grinning widely.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Iris pushed his arm.

“Nothing,” he dealt with another stack of books. “It's silly.”

“Shut up, it's not silly. Tell me.”

“This is everything I've always wanted.”

“I'm sure you're grand dreams consisted of unpacking boxes half naked," there was a hint of snark on her face that Barry wanted to kiss away.

“Iris, I’ve wanted to build a life with you since we were twenty-two.” he turned to look at her and smiled. “This really is everything I've always wanted.”

She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him tightly. “I think part of me always knew this was how things would turn out … no matter what way it was, I always wanted it to be you and me against the world.”

He kissed the top of her head, one, then a second time in quick succession. “I wouldn't have it any other way.” As he began the mental calculations of his chances of getting Iris upstairs she pulled back. “Let's put the rest of these upstairs,” she suggested, glancing at him over her shoulder. He followed her with one of the boxes of books.

* * *

 

They didn't last very long just putting away books upstairs. Sometime later, they were huddled together under the blankets of their bed. Barry still pressing light kisses to her neck and shoulder.

“Ready to give me a verdict, Barr?”

“Hmm?” he hummed, pressing his face into her neck as they laid facing each other.

“Which afterglow is better?” she pressed.

“Okay, well,” he smiled when he felt her fingers trailing up and down his arm gently. “Am I superhero afterglow-ing with you or without you?”

“Let's say ‘with me’,” her hand came up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“About a sixty/forty,” he decided.

“Superhero afterglow without me?” She smirked slightly. Barry couldn't see it, but he could hear it in her voice.

“Doesn't even _compare_ to this,” he grinned against her skin, his hand trailing gently up her side. He moved to look at her, still grinning. “I'm so ready for the next five years,” he pressed his lips against hers.

* * *

 

The next day Barry was shuffling through some more books when there was a knock at the door. He pulled himself away from the books and headed to the front. When he opened it, Oliver Queen stood before him.

“Is everything okay?” Barry asked quickly, his eyebrows pulling together.

“Yes, everything is fine--” he stepped aside and revealed Parker and Pat. “I dropped him off and they both insisted on seeing you.”

Parker rushed up to Barry and hugged him around the middle. Barry hugged him back tightly. “It's so good to see you!” a sense of relief flushed over him. He feared Parker would resent him for sending him away. He was relieved that it seemed to be the opposite.

“Can you help me apply for the S.T.E.M. academy, Barry?” he asked suddenly.

“Of course. We can do that this week.”

The next few weeks were a bit busy, between getting the house ready and getting Parker ready for school. He and Iris barely had extra time to themselves.

 

On his day off Barry was leaned back on the sofa. Phone in hand as he tried to keep up with his friends. Cisco’s instagram was filled with photos of the blanket fort he had helped build about a month ago, as well as another replica he hand painted from some show Barry was behind on, as was the way.

Caitlin’s feed was dead aside from a few photos of Bohr that she had taken the last time she was over. The rest were years old pictures of her and Ronnie, or her desk.

Bett’s instagram was nothing but art updates. There was a sketch of a coy fish that caught his eye. He double tapped it.

 **@CryptidCSI:** _Wow! Love this._

 **@DragonFireart102:** _Thanks, Barr. ♡_

He started to glance through her art. He frowned when he saw no paintings or even drawings of humans. Even with the meta bracelet Cisco had made her, it seemed that she was still reluctant to go back to painting portraits, or humanoids at all, like she loved.

He got a notification.

**{DragonfireArt102 tagged you in a photo}**

**@Dragonfire102:** _Personal post! Shocker, right? I never do these. Anyway. #ThrowBackThursday! So, bit of a story here. 4 years ago I moved in across from these absolute dorks. @CryptidCSI and @FlowerPower11. We've had some ups and downs but they stuck by me through all the craziness and I don't know where I would be without them and @ItsEddie! I love you guys so much, thanks for being the best!_

Above the text was a photo of the four of them earlier in the year. After Barry got out of the coma. They were on Bett’s sofa and Iris had her arm slung around Barry’s shoulders. He smiled and ‘liked’ it.

 **@CryptidCSI:** _We love you too Bett. It's been a wild few years, huh?_

 **@ItsEddie:** _You're okay too I guess. :P_

 **@FlowerPower11:** _We love you too, girl!! That old complex was way too quiet without you. Miss you roomie. @ItsEddie smooth. That's really your reply to your girlfriends sweet post?_

 **@ItsEddie:** _@FlowePower11 We aren't dating._

 **@DragonfireArt102:** _@FlowerPower11 We're not dating. We’re married and you missed the wedding because you were too distracted fawning over @CryptidCSI._

 **@FlowerPower11:** _@ItsEddie. A girl knows, Edgar._

 **@ItsEddie:** _It's EDDIE._

 **@DragonfireArt102:** _No, it's Detective Pretty Boy._

 **@ItsEddie:** _Look at what you've done, @FlowerPower11_

Barry laughed softly and shook his head. He stood from the sofa and headed into the kitchen. Iris stood by the sink, music pouring out of her phone as she set it on the counter. She was done bothering Bett and Eddie for now. She seemed focused on her cheese cake.

Barry crossed the room, taking his time. He could have easily sped up behind her. He didn't though. He strode into the kitchen and his long arms encircled her. “Iris West,” he smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “You look beautiful,” he hugged her back against his chest.

“I'm standing in the middle of our kitchen eating cheesecake, and I look like death.”

“You look amazing in _our_ kitchen in _my_ shirt,” he pressed a soft kiss to her neck and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“and how is it different from a month ago when we were in our kitchen at your apartment?”

“It was just different--” his phone dinged. He glanced at it with a sigh. “It's a metahuman.”

“Get ‘em tiger.”

He brought his lips to hers for a brief moment-- then he was gone.

* * *

 

“I trusted you,” Bett's tone indicated a betrayal. “You _cannot_ leave paint brushes like this! I want to cry.”

“What? It's what they're made for!” Eddie shot back.

On the table in front of them were hours old paint brushes with paint still on the bristles.

“No, no, no. You poor babies, what did he do to you?”

“They're dollar store paint brushes,” Eddie shrugged and picked up a new one.

“Never leave paint in the brushes. I talked to you about this,” with an exhale she took the brushes to the sink and began to do some recovery.

Meanwhile, Eddie grabbed another brush from the the pile of brushes he’d bought at the dollar store. He dipped it into dark red paint and started to fill in one corner of the canvas.

“What are you painting, anyway?” came a voice from the kitchen area.

“I don't know. You always look relaxed when you paint so I wanted to try.”

“I miss painting people,” with a sigh she returned with the brushes soaking in something Eddie didn't pay attention to. “but we don't want another Todd, now do we?”

“Well, we have tech for that now--”

“I use it when I paint other stuff but I--I don't want to risk it.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked with a frown.

“Todd wasn't wasn’t a full person … but he was real enough to realise that, it bothers him. That's why he's never around. He's trying to find himself, and he can't because I made him an incomplete person. He's complete enough to know there's something missing and he just … I can't do that to another being. Even if he's not technically _real_. His emotions are.”

Eddie reached out to place a hand on her arm but stopped short. Instead, a deep, hollow, silence filled the space between them instead. Eddie set down his brush and looked up at her. “Listen to me. That isn't your fault. You can't control a mad scientist.”

“I know but--”

“Bett, you can't care that around with you. Okay?” he honestly didn't know what to say.

Bett was harder to get through to than Barry or Iris. He wasn't sure if it was just him, or if it was.

“Listen, I know we bicker, but I'm here for you. Okay?” He smiled softly.

“I know, Eddie,” Bett nodded, for once not joking. She wanted to let her friends in, but she didn't know how.

* * *

“Hey, Barry?” Iris turned over in bed so she could look at him. “Can we actually have kids? With your new DNA?”

“I never thought about it before. I would have to ask Caitlin,” his hand danced through her hair idly. “Is it okay with you if we can't ever…?”

“We can always adopt in the future if we want.”

“That's true,” Barry mused. “Sorry, am I being too intense?”

“I was the one who told you I wanted two kids,” Iris pointed out, referring to their conversation at the old apartment. “Don't overthink it.”

“I just want to give you the life you deserve.”

“Well,” Iris turned over to look at him. “If I'm with you, I already have it,” she curled up slightly on her side, slinging one leg over Barry under the blankets and cuddling up. “I’m tired. Goodnight, Barry.”

“Goodnight, Iris.”

* * *

Barry took a deep breath and scratched the back of his neck. He stopped in front of the door to collect himself. As he ran a hand through his hair he tried to remind himself that Joe supported him and Iris.

He opened the door and headed in. “Joe?” he called.

“I'm in the kitchen! Come help me.”

Barry made his way into the kitchen and stood awkwardly in the doorway. His tall body leaned against the frame. “What am I doing?”

“Get started on Grandma Esther's sauce, for the noodles,” Joe didn't look up from the boiling pot on the stove.

“I wanted to talk to you, about Iris,” Barry rubbed the back of his neck, and when his eyes met Joe’s a look of understanding flickered in his eyes.

“Oh, _oh_ , that talk? Already?”

“Yeah, I mean … can we say this is surprising?” he gave a soft laugh to accompany the rhetorical question.

“Alright,” Joe took a deep breath.

When they finished cooking, Barry sat across from Joe. “Listen, Joe. I know Iris and I were in a rough patch, but I love Iris more than anything and we've come really far in the last few years. I want to marry her one day, and I hope you'll give me your blessing.”

Joe stood and walked around the table. Barry stood and Joe gave him a quick hug, patting his back. “You have my blessing son, whenever you two are ready.”

Barry nodded. “Thank you, Joe.”

* * *

It didn't take Iris and Barry too long to become completely settled into their new house. In that time, Cisco had also discovered his metahuman status. He began working with Caitlin on ways to refine them. That took up most of their time outside of Team Flash business.

Barry awoke, cool sweat clinging to his skin. He sat up, long legs swinging onto the floor. He hunched over and out his head in his hands. It was nearly the end of the first week of March.

Iris reached out and felt around tiredly for her boyfriend. When her hand didn't find him, she forced herself up and found him on the other side of the bed. “Honey? You okay?” she reached out but in a move too fast for her eyes to register, her touched was dodged.

“I'm fine, I'm sorry I woke you up,” he moved closer to her and kissed her cheek.

“That's alright. Do you want to talk?”

“I don't think there's anything to say. This time of the year is always hard.”

“How about we go out to that diner again?” her hand found its way into his hair, pushing it back gently out of his eyes.

“Yeah,” he paused for a a few seconds. “we should invite our friends.”

“We should,” Iris nodded.

“I'm going to go shower,” he stood. “You should try to go back to sleep.”

* * *

 

Barry and Iris sat down at the diner. They already knew what they were going to order, but Barry flipped through the menu anyway. “Do you two already know what you'd like?”

“We’re waiting for a couple friends,” Barry smiled, though he started to feel nervous.

It was like he was seven again and waiting to see if anyone would shown up to his birthday party. He felt stupid, he knew his friends wouldn't just ditch.

Cisco was the first to walk through the door. He patted Barry’s shoulder before sliding into the big booth beside them. Caitlin arrived next, a gently squeeze on his shoulder and a soft hello. Eddie and Bett arrived at the same time.

The server smiled. “Oh, big crowd today, what can I get you all?”

They ordered in a circle and soon they were talking and laughing like it was any other day. It didn't take long for the next hour or so to drift by like a pleasant dream. This wasn't as hard as he had expected it to be. He felt just a little bit at peace.

 

**[Six months later]**

 

Barry awoke with a start to sound of a scream. He jolted upright and saw Iris wasn't in bed beside him. He rushed downstairs and what he saw made his heart stop.

Iris screamed again as the man in yellow surrounded her. Barry ran headfirst into the trail of lighting. He didn't look back. Iris watched as the lighting bouncing off the speedsters blurred together into a bright light she had to shield her eyes from.

_This isn't happening. Not again._

He ran into the lightning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[AN: Please feel free to let me know if theres anything you want to see more of in the sequel! I'm trying to learn from the last one as I move forward. Thanks again for all the support! ♡♡
> 
> Current rewrite plans: More scenes with the Codwells, especially more Heather. I'm going to find a way to flesh out Bett a little more, she became a little too meme-y for me at times. Add more Ricky, there were sevralmscenes of him that I had planned but just never found a place for. Oh, and fixing timelines! I'm worse than Barry Allen about those pesky timelines.]]


End file.
